Writer and Cat Tamer @art-and-kittens - Tumblr Blog

Hey guys, so I have found myself with an excess of time, and not a whole lot of money, so I am officially opening myself up to commissions! I have included some of my favorite pieces in this helpful spread, but I tend to work with a variety of styles and levels of completion, so if you have seen a style I’ve done that you would prefer, I am very open to negotiation. That being said, I do have a few rules:

No smut. It’s not my thing.

I have little to no experience drawing gore, so if you want to request it you are welcome to, but I may not be able to help you.

You’re going to have to be very descriptive, or else expect a lot of questions about the characters. Reference photos are my best friend.

It does take time to do these, and the more complicated the drawing, the longer it will take. I will give you an estimate on time based on your request.

If, for some reason, I can’t complete your commission, I’ll refund you.

I have the right to refuse any request, for any reason.

Comic strips and pages are priced on a case by case basis, as are things like gifs, storyboards, and animated pencil tests.

You can message me @nerdzewordart or email me at [email protected] with any questions.

If you know of a drawing I have already done, that you would like in an art print, I also have a society6 and am more than happy to add drawings upon request.

showerthoughtsofficial

The fact that the location of the world’s oldest tree has to be kept secret encapsulates everything that’s bad about humanity.

hyperappreciation

There’s a story about that, actually.

According to the smithsonianmag.com, the world’s oldest bristlecone pine was a nearly 5,000 year old tree later named Prometheus. In 1964, a man named Donald Rusk Currey decided to use an increment borer to determine its age (a process that cuts a small hole into the center of the tree trunk, and is not intended to kill the tree). Unfortunately, the borer got stuck. He and a park ranger cut the tree down to remove the equipment, and when they counted the tree rings, they realized their mistake. Oops. This incident lead to better protection of the remaining bristlecone pines.

There’s some wiggle room about what can be called “the world’s oldest living tree.” The world’s oldest living single tree is the tree that the OP is referring to. Its name is Methuselah,and it is also around 5,000 years old. Since its location is unknown, nobody knows what it looks like. But it might be this tree here:

But technically, it isn’t the oldest living tree. Let me explain.

It turns out that root systems of trees can send up genetically identical saplings (aka clones) via their root systems. Like so:

Which means the original trunk can die, but since the root system is attached to other trees which give it nutrients, it lives on. The root system can theoretically do this indefinitely. So the tree trunks could be fairly young, but the roots could be large and very, very, very old. So the oldest “tree” isn’t a small grove, it’s a logic-defying forest.

I’d like you to meet Pando.

This male quaking aspen covers 106 acres and is ancient. I’m talking an estimate of 80,000 years. The trees you can see are just “shoots” he sent up, and their average age is 130 years old. He is his own forest. If trees could talk, I’d love to hear what he had to say.

He might be dying, due to insects and drought (hmm, wonder what could have happened to cause that). A section of Pando is being studied in an attempt to find a solution. But in the meantime, we can enjoy him for his beauty.

TLDR: Yes please, protect the trees from humans!

vagabondedlife

scaliepost-generator

Inflation is honestly the strangest shit. Like someone rn is thinking of getting blown up like a balloon and they’ve got a boner.

targuzzler-deactivated20180224

i thought this was about economics at first and that second sentence hit me like a freight train

tylerposey

hexmaniacmareen

what they say: cats are evil and unable to love

what they mean: i dont know how to handle small animals and consider them lashing out in SELF DEFENSE an insult

rad-roach

Usually what it boils down to is “I’m mad because the cat didn’t act like a dog”.

black-nata

luvtonique

Pushing fragile things off tables and breaking them: Self defense.

Destroying Christmas Trees: Self defense, I mean the tree attacked them.

Scratching their owner’s eyeball: Self defense.

Scratching their sleeping owner’s face: Self defense.

Jumping on their owner’s back and clawing into their spine: Self defense.

Admittedly yeah

A dog doesn’t do those things because a dog’s version of self defense is to be a good animal who loves you and doesn’t attack you unless you attack them first.

I mean if a cat feels that threatened by everything in their owner’s household maybe the owner shouldn’t have gotten a cat.

amphiaria-deactivated20250226

Pushing fragile things off tables and breaking them: Playing. Cats are well-known to like to play with small objects. Your cat does not know what “fragile” means and does not understand the distinction between toy and not-toy objects. Place fragile things out of a cat’s line of sight and reach, and if you don’t provide them with enough enrichment items that they go looking for them, that’s on you.

Destroying Christmas Trees: Cats like to climb things. They’re not doing it to spite you.

Scratching their owner’s eyeball: Probably an accident, due to overstimulation when playing. It wasn’t trying to hurt you. Don’t anthropomorphize animals by attributing spite to them. Animals don’t do spite the way that humans do.

Scratching their sleeping owner’s face: Trying to rouse you with its paw, probably gently, because it loves you and wants to play with you.

Jumping on their owner’s back and clawing into their spine: Come on. If a cat is jumping on you, it loves you and wants to be close to you. Digging in with its claws is how it balances itself on an unstable surface and is purely a reflexive reaction. It isn’t intending to hurt you.

99% of cat behavioral problems stem from bored cats. Cats need to climb, need to scratch, and need small objects to play with. I only recommend adopting cats in pairs, so that they can keep each other entertained. Cats are not purely solitary. They get lonely, and lonely cats act out. Once again, your entire problem with cats as a species seems to stem from the fact that you don’t understand how cats express affection and it upsets you that they don’t do so the way that dogs do. Cats aren’t small dogs and cannot be expected to behave as such.

otahkoapisiakii

FELINE PROTECTION SQUAD

plantanarchy

That person has clearly never been punched in the face by an overexcited husky or come home to destroyed things lol dogs are just as great at being assholes as cats but they aren’t intentionally being assholes.

followthebluebell

My dog punched me in the face today because he was just SO EXCITED to tell me that my blood sugar was low.

shrugging

zero3scape-deactivated20170427

i see u lil punk ass bitch

micdotcom

#AliveWhileBlack is the heartbreaking response to #CrimingWhileWhite

The hashtag #CrimingWhileWhite became a platform to illustrate what often happens when white people engage in criminal activity. It was a powerful moment, as white people openly acknowledged that they don’t face nearly the same punishment or brutality experienced by their black counterparts. But despite the good intentions of those who participated, many others felt like the hashtag detracted from conversations about the value of black lives.

In response to that first trending hashtag, Jamilah Lemieux, senior digital editor for Ebony magazine, started #AliveWhileBlack.

knowledgeequalsblackpower

My husband got pulled over by the police IN HIS DRIVEWAY after he had already pulled up and parked. Police made up some bs about his seatbelt, when he showed him that it was clearly fastened, they still asked to run his id. Another time, my husband got pulled over for riding a bike on the sidewalk. The officer searched him and ran his id… Only to tell him he could continue riding on the sidewalk. All of this is illegal. You can’t b searched and id’d like that if u r not doing anything wrong! This ain’t Apartheid South Africa. I know my rights so I woulda been like “HELL NAW.. What’s ur badge number?” But my husband is naturally scared of the police since they harass him all the time and he allows his rights to be violated. However, It’s only a matter of time before he gets tired of it like Eric Garner was…

disneydorito

View this post on Instagram

valykas-deactivated20190916

This is amazing

fartproducer-deactivated2026013

Ok but how did they make it look like he was driving

surprisebitch

this deserves an academy award nomination

artist-magritte-deactivated2020

Time transfixed via Rene Magritte

Size: 146x97 cm Medium: oil, canvas

o6eiyrskb4hg7rix8hih-deactivate

dumb ass accidentally painted a train instead of a fire

o6eiyrskb4hg7rix8hih-deactivate

rene magritte has talent but this is a rookie mistake

cleaveyourjaw-deactivated201805

Honestly, the Babadook officially being recognized as a gay icon is the greatest thing to happen so far in 2017.

surprise-adoption

Bottle rocket under ice

overtheunderpass

rad

edwardspoonhands

I’m pretty sure that the reason the ice fractured into six slices is the same reason snowflakes are often six sided and it has to do with the shape of a molecule of water and I just think that’s so freaking cool.

opulene-archive

How would it even stay lit though?

orangejuiceaholic-deactivated20

!!!!! it IS actually because of the structure of water molecules! Water molecules are fuckin weird, as are lots of other liquid substance molecules, because theyre shaped like fuckin HEXAGONS! hexagons are those weird, six-sided shapes that re very sturdy, but they dont tend to sit very well when stacked together. thats why, when you fill up a glass of water to its full capacity, it can go OVER the brim a little and not spill over. It’s also why water beads.

anyway, so since water is essentially made up of a gazillion little hexagons, it tends to gather into larger hexagons as it shapes together. this is not visible unless the water is in a solid form, aka ice. when the water is split, it tends to crack around the established hexagons. that bottle rocket exploded in the PERFECT place to show this phenomenon and its geeking me out.

ALSO! the bottle rocket stays lit because the fuse was definitely waterproof and made with magnesium and an oxidizer of some sort. this means that they will burn underwater because they dont need the oxygen from the air to stay lit. thats so fucking weird isnt it. im tipsy and its the 4th of july. sorry for the science haha

inside-us-only-stars

Don’t you dare apologize for science

okaymad

damianmcgintleman

everyone talks about the folgers coffee incest commercial but remember the quizno’s commercial where the guy was fucking the toaster oven?

mslockheart

what the fuck

flyawaymax

what the fuck

bogusrose

you know what i want?? a representation of the seven deadly sins where for once lust isnt the only woman and is instead a horny friendzone dudebro

roachpatrol

holy shit

skaletal-deactivated20190721

A frat house of deadly sins:

Lust, the guy who hits on everyone regardless of whether or not they seem inclined to reciprocate, also known as the guy who considers his own pleasure the endgame of any encounter, consistently failing to give a shit about other people’s comfort or satisfaction;

Gluttony, the guy who overindulges in everything regardless of whether or not it was offered in moderation or offered out of politeness, also known as the guy who’s always high off other people’s weed and drunk off other people’s beer, consistently failing to respect the unspoken standards of politeness;

Greed, the guy who lays claim to every object of ambiguous origin left behind after a party, also known as the guy who hoards things he’s fully aware he’ll never use before they expire or will simply never use at all, consistently failing to demonstrate an awareness of the basic concept of sharing;

Sloth, the guy who only demonstrates any agency when the possibility of getting someone else to do his work for him arises, also known as the guy who will actually expend more energy trying to get out of making a basic effort than the basic effort itself would have required, consistently failing to do much of anything;

Wrath, the guy who finds a way to pick a fight with anyone nearby regardless of the circumstances, also known as the guy who’s formed an elaborate system of self-justifications to excuse his violent behaviours rather than attempt to curb his temper, consistently failing to take responsibility for his actions;

Envy, the only nice guy in the house, also known as the guy who thinks the world and everyone in it owes him something regardless of whether or not he’s done anything to deserve it, consistently failing to recognize that basic acts of human decency do not entitle him to the regard and attentions of others;

and Pride, the guy whose stories keep getting longer every time you hear them, also known as the guy who can’t stand not to be the centre of attention and who only starts conversations with others in the interests of talking about himself, consistently failing to take into account the fact that literally no one likes a person who feels compelled to engage everyone around them in constant games of self-congratulatory one-upmanship.

They are insiduous people, these frat brothers, primarily because you know people exactly like them and could never quite put your finger on why they’re so goddamned infuriating.