Geriatric

|| Linoleum | xe/xyr | over 18 || I’m Jewish.

[ashesoreillyapologist]

*tilts your chin down gently so u r looking in my eyes* ok just hear me out. you don’t need to be afraid of ghosts they’re not scary i swear. they’re just people. not even, actually. they’re the remnants that people left behind. the least Supernatural of all the Supernatural. i don’t mean that as a bad thing i love ghosts. it’s more that any human is capable of dying and staying behind. it’s fine. we’re all just ghosts waiting to be freed from the prison of Life and Meat.

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

it is always narratively correct to make your characters sleep together before they sort through the hundreds of lies and misdirections between them. make things worse make things worse make things worse #i love betrayal #i love lying #i love people feeling bad about themselves

[angelbabymikaa]

[wuuruvu]

[kindly-whisper-norbury]

[damazcuz]

(Smugly after failing at a task) and they said it could be done.

[andmaybegayer]

measure once cut also once, no prablem

[andmaybegayer]

#i know i already reblogged this but i need to like. cross stitch it or carve it into wood or quilt it or something

concept for a vcarving project

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

no i get you this was perfectly centered when i wrote it

[shaydh]

I have done the cross stitch

[poolboydivision]

in honor of all the times I've made this mistake irl

[makeitdewey]

702 Miscellany of fine and decorative arts

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I keep thinking about writing a dating sim that's like loosely based on the London social season (a few high stakes month of trying to net a spouse while navigating finicky social rules, etc) where you can change your gender but depending on when in the game you change it you'll get a pop up that's like "are you sure you want to change your gender? doing so this late in the season might make you come across as a bit desperate, and your social standing may be impacted accordingly..." like everyone is treating you as a lady now, no questions asked, but it is a little sus that you're doing it after totally failing to net a respectable spouse as a man 🧐

[depsidase]

[samthehypotheticaldad]

@vague-magnus-archives

[soupcowboy]

Hits you with my gay beam that does nothing

[romanceyourdemons]

the three most overused jobs for horror movie protags who investigate strange happenings that have nothing to do with them out of a sense of professional obligation are journalist, writer/filmmaker, and cop (which is both overused AND lame). here are some suggestions for other possibilities:

insurance claims investigator

grad student using excessive research to procrastinate writing their thesis

tradesman hired to fix the spooky house’s pipes

mafia debt collector

normal debt collector

middle aged woman who just wants to get a refund. who in this place can she to talk to who can give her a refund, she has the receipt right here

[gothredy]

[thesmuttylibrarian]

Braid III, James Jean

[charl0ttan]

my dead wife is boring as fuck and all of my flashbacks are of her farting loud

[charl0ttan]

?

[lickmyleg-deactivated20250724]

I've been horny. Obviously just in my abstract ways

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I loves her

[swan2swan]

Every episode of the Mandalorian further confirms that Yoda’s species is actually a race of ravenous nightmare gremlins and being a kind, empathetic, noble pacifist was 1000% a choice.

[mylordshesacactus]

#some human criminal: “I don’t know about you ‘Master Jedi’ but some of us just have urges that we can’t fight!”#yoda: “know what I think everytime I see a child do you? hm? ‘food’. Yes. ‘Easy prey’. ‘Helpless and unprotected it is.’#’'Eat the child do I? No. Feel the urge to eat? Yes. Base instincts we all have…learn to master them we must.”

[geewaysgreendayhoodie]

i think non smokers should also get hourly fifteen minute breaks so stand outside and play with lighters

[mihai-florescu]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[mihai-florescu]

The lion will never financially recover from this

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: T t cc t t t a acct aac a tt tat cag T aca c t

Closest match: Mirounga angustirostris NUBP iron-sulfur cluster assembly factor 1, cytosolic (NUBP1), transcript variant X4, mRNA Common name: Northern Elephant Seal

(image source)

[mihai-florescu]

The northern elephant seal does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[wizardarchetypes]

a few days ago i spun that random picker wheel "which of your humors is imbalanced" and i got 'phlegm.'

then yesterday i woke up sick as a dog, my foremost complaint being a sore throat from a phlegmy throat and post-nasal drip. an expectorant didn't help.

well tonight i hat a heaping bowl of hot and sour soup, and it purged all the snot from my head and i feel much better.

and as we all know, phlegm is the cold and wet humor. one way it was supposed to have been thrown out of balance by hot, windy weather. yesterday a warm front moved in on a wind storm. when phlegm is out of balance, eat hot food and food in water might help.

and well? the hot and sour soup........

this isn't looking good for modern medicine, i have to say.

[wizardarchetypes]

[wizardarchetypes]

the thing that's getting me here is everyone overlooking the start of this post as if to say if we accept the four humors as a valid medical theory, we must also accept that the internet picker wheel can read and diagnose those humors.