tear the bitch apart

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[c-bassmeow]

[theholleywoodsigns]

Penis is an ugly word too

[atlas-prime]

Créme de la cock

[theholleywoodsigns]

Thin fuckin ice

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Can y'all please stop committing crimes against the french language

[to-heck]

Le no

[dipperthedestructor]

im the prettiest canary in this mine

[dipperthedestructor]

what the fuck is that smell

[pearlsasinger-deactivated202602]

his dark materials will literally always work bc every small child wants an animal companion that loves you most and goes on adventures with you and every adult wants an animal companion that can shoulder some of life’s immense psychologically damage for you. and you can pet it

[madmonksandmaenads]

And to tear down the feeble corpse of God! Every kid and adult wants that also!

[atticescapee-abandoned]

[twinkhole-destroyer]

I need to press his bruises like it’s his gspot

[twinkhole-destroyer]

I’m gonna think about killing myself

[happybunnykat]

[kiki-or-bouba]

This post is: Bouba

[twinkhole-destroyer]

oh come on

[littlefankingdom]

The funny thing about the Justice League cartoon is that you expect Batman, as the one human without some superior power on the team, to be the one having a bad time the most often, but actually, it's Martian Manhunter. Like, anytime J'onn tries something, he gets his ass handed to him. He is a martian wet cat. Meanwhile, Batman is more like a cockroach, the bad guys cannot understand how the one human is still standing, and he smirks at them like a lil shit.

[crokitheloki]

everyone say thank you ao3 volunteers you're the best ao3 volunteers ily ao3 volunteers

[raisedbylibrarians]

[walk-up-songs]

[one single bloodcurdling agonized scream] ok time to lock in

[chumbie]

NOOOOO NOT DOUGLAS

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Inappropriate Douglas

[lesbyterianchurch]

It’s that month again folks! Happy February.

[teathattast]

[tahthetrickster]

who wants to see the worst thing ive seen this week

[tahthetrickster]

too bad, im showing you anyway

[arsondotpng]

a non-photoshopped picture of someone actually wearing them, for your viewing pleasure

[melonisopod]

[wifehaver103947]

the new york times is now charging money for my favorite chocolate cake recipe so i bought a subscription and screenshotted it and canceled my subscription and now it's here for you for free

i do a mixture of red wine and fresh squeezed navel orange juice for the liquid, plus the zest of one large orange. now you make the cake

[dngrcpckwithmurdericing]

Recipe transcript:

Yield: 8 servings

ingredients

3/4c or 177 mll extra virgin olive oil, plus more for greasing the pan

1/2 cup or 118 mll Earl Grey tea, or use coffee, dry red wine, orange juice, or water

1/2 cup or 50 grams Dutch processed cocoa powder

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp fine sea salt

1 cup or 200 grams granulated sugar

3 large eggs at room temperature

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons or 135 grams all purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

preparation

step 1 heat the oven to 325 degrees F. Grease a 9-inch round pan and line the bottom with parchment paper

step 2: in a medium saucepan over high heat, bring tea or other liquid to a simmer, then turn off heat. whisk in cocoa, cinnamon, and salt until smooth, then set aside to cool

step 3: in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine sugar, olive oil, eggs, and vanilla. beat for about 3 minutes. reduce speed and pour in cocoa mixture, scraping down the sides of the bowl. gradually beat in flour and baking soda until just incorporated.

step 4: scrape batter into prepared pan and bake until the sides are set but it's still slightly damp in the center, 35 to 45 minutes. A cake tester should come up clean but with a few sticky chocolate crumbs clinging to it. Transfer cake pan to a wire rack and let cake cool completely in pan.

[aavec]

I understand that people have issues with ep 3, but I’m grateful for it bc it gave us the Scott/Shane fight and therefore all of these great posts on Tumblr.com

[bogleech]

I knew poinsettias "faked" having big flowers by just turning some leaves red but I didn't know the real tiny flowers in the middle looked like such idiots

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That is a chorus of aliens about to sing me a song

[thesuperheroesnetwork]

Muppet ass plant

[edsrosetattoo]

This is the best idea in the history of film.

[tothechaos]

phones love to go "do you want to clear up .3 GB by deleting these cherished pictures that you havent looked at in more than 30 days?" while also installing random apps and AI bullshit you didnt ask for. and you cant even uninstall half the apps

[tonystarksanxieties]

No, but literally

[anxiousmercy]

seeing this reminded me to finally get rid of that Damned Thing that keeps installing random games on my phone

The mobile services manager app performs many functions including installing and updating apps, controlling some Android settings

[tothechaos]

anxiousmercy im giving you my first born and the keys to the city for helping me disable that damn thing that has infuriated me for years

if you have an android, follow the steps in the article to stop random, unwanted apps from being installed on your device!