Jak Attack

Hi friend, welcome to the multifandom chaos! I’m Jak, pronounced like “yak.” I’m queer and use any pronouns but “it.” My floof sideblog is @were-jak, my AO3 is @JakYak. Minors welcome but I occasionally post 18+ content, interact at your own risk. I practice Ship and Let Ship and kinktomato. I collect fandoms like a gremlin and am a serial commenter on AO3. AO3 @JakYak. I’m always up for fanfic suggestions! If you read this far, let’s be friends. Hablo español. 🇬🇹 Ik spreek een beetje Nederlands.

[spamtons]

he has one eye. he has one horn. he can fly. he's purple. he eats people. i didn't say any names but he popped into your head didn't he.

[pseudophan]

you are <3

[fuckrozanov]

no one deserves to get railed within an inch of their life more than shane hollander…

[fuckrozanov]

he thought he was doomed he thought it was over and then that 6.5 inch 9 incher saved him

[batsplash]

reposting for those of you who wanted them together x

[shane] [ilya]

[bannertanks]

[ghosthierophant]

[heystephen]

saw this on my fb feed and laughed thinking it was a meme and then saw that nancy mace posted it in full seriousness

[heystephen]

my tax dollars are funding trans mice 🥳🥳🥳🥳

[krasnoarmeyets]

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

[targetedknowledge]

[alex-and-nova420]

made this into a gif bc i liked it so much. shark Denied

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”

[fangorn-forest]

summer sufferers poll: would you rather have…

the ability to repel all bugs so they can’t touch/bite/sting you

the ability to always be at a comfortable temperature while outside

no chafing ever again

Remaining time: 5 days 13 hours

[eurig-morgan-deactivated2017121]

Baby armadillo plays with his toy

[puppy95]

Are you fucking kidding me

[figpal]

i have never been happier 

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[circumgutter]

[paperandpencilsandskips]

The Magnanimous Airplane

[kawuli]

well, the ears dropped

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[moveslikekeithrichards]

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

[the-apocrypha]

other assorted roles may include

retrieval team for objects in the backseat

custodian of the parking garage tickets

"All clear my way"

en-route dining concierge

announcing "Horses!" when there are horses

[lynx-girl]

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

[help-my-ocs-breached-containmen]

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[caldraws]

hey bi people

[systlin]

So. Tyr, my dog, is a Great Pyraneese. This is important because this breed is known to be smart. Not in the way a German Shepherd or border Collie is smart, and wanting to please a human; Great Pyrs are independent minded and bred to Be Management of herds when a human might not be around.

Anyway.

It has been very pleasant out. We had the windows cracked and left them cracked when we went to work. This has never been an issue before.

My darling spouse was working on a job in a small town about a mile from our place. He was getting some stuff from the work van when he sees a large white dog prancing along.

"Huh." He thinks. "That looks an awful lot like.....TYR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE."

Tyr, delighted that she has Found Father, bounds up happily and gets in the work van to give face kisses.

"GIRL NO WHAT." Kev says, scrambling to go let the client know that he has to take the fucking criminal back home real quick.

Turns out she discovered that a window can be shoved open with a determined snoot, and a window screen is not as strong as 80 pounds of muscular dog. And went for an adventure.

I got a call at this point while I was doing payroll.

"BABE WE NEED TO BABY GATE ALL THE FUCKING WINDOWS." My spouse says.

"....okay??" I say, and then get the story. I swore a bunch.

Anyway my dog is a criminal escape artist and we have to baby proof the fucking windows now

[systlin]

My mom thinks this is the funniest thing ever because I, Age 11, discovered I could remove window screens to climb out my window and climb the house roof to stargaze, which nearly gave her a heart attack when she looked out a window when hearing a noise and saw her fucking child squirreling around on the roof.

"Like mother like daughter" she texted me and then about 20 laughing emojis in a row

[syrenki]

possible career paths for me:

1. matching pearls in pairs for earrings

2. msn butterfly

that's it probably