Hi!

I'm Josh, I'm 17 and from Australia.

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"God knew I'd be too powerful if I wasn't a manipulative bitch." - James Charles.

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What do you call the old ritual of moving convicts around the colonies?

An ex-tradition

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*My sister and I being handed our drinks at a kiosk*

Her: I'm gonna need a refund.

Them: Why?

Her: I can't take Lift's from strangers.

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some of you never sat in the passenger seat of the car while your slightly drunk mother slams her foot on the brakes and it slows

[memesandlaughs]

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Taken mere seconds after devouring one (1) gecko. Look at that face. Now tell me we should have capital punishment for cold-blooded killers.

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Why is Roger's daughter so chubby?

he Federer lot

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Everybody:

Lady Gaga: *crying* you can have 100 people in a room, and 99 don't believe in you, and just one person does - and Bradley Cooper was that person...

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@tomwalkerofficial is the hottest artist right now fr.

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"Where they burn books, they will, in the end, burn human beings too."

- Heinrich Heine, 1821.

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Sydney Gothic

- The people are everywhere but they are always on the move. They are always going somewhere else. They never arrive.

- The road lanes are too small for you to fit. You scream as an old Asian lady hurtles past you. She does not see or care.

- Oh you wanted food? That sandwich costs the entire GDP of Guatemala. That caramel slice? Costs you 370$, the soles of your shoes and Jenna Marbles’ favourite dog. You pay anyway. It all tastes okay, you guess.

- The woman in front of you has her card declined. “You don’t accept AMEX?” It does not matter, for she has an infinite array of cards.

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Heston from MasterChef: you have exactly one hour to recreate this exotic almond and amaretto sponge with strawberry brulee

A contestant, probably: that’s a piece of cake

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*me, addressing the elephant in the room*

get the fUCK OUT

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Customer: *is irrationally angry*

Me, a retail worker: I’m sorry, but THAT was the last straw

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Customer: *is irrationally angry*

Me, a retail worker: I'm sorry, but THAT was the last straw

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*me, addressing the elephant in the room*

get the fUCK OUT