Not Like Other Girls: Internalised Misogyny in Teen Fiction
I read a romcom a few days ago, where a dude that the MC crushed on (not the LI) said he liked her because she was "not like other girls." MC was a fangirl who liked this sci-fi show with a small fan base, a smart student who worked hard for all her achievements, academic and otherwise, and a pretty relatable character who just wanted to get a scholarship so she could pay for college. The MC was rightfully pissed, because she realised how misogynistic that statement was. Problem is, most of the characters in different pieces of media that have scenes like these, don't realize that very thing.
You may ask why exactly that statement is misogynistic. Well, it says that the character is "not like other girls", which means that other girls are trash and one shouldn't aspire to be like them. More importantly, the other girls are generally more "feminine", as in, they wear pretty dresses every day, like doing their makeup and have had a boyfriend or two.
This demonization of femininity is exactly why this statement is misogynistic: it pits the more "boyish" character against the other girls, who are "feminine", thus stating that being more "boyish" or "masculine" is the desirable way to be, the better way to be.
It doesn't help when the feminine characters are portrayed as shallow and airheaded ditzes that have nothing to do but giggle, or vain and catty mean girls who just exist to make the character's life a living hell.
These archetypes portray being feminine as being stupid or as being a bitch, which are two stereotypes that have been associated with women since time immemorial.
What bothers me more than this is when the character, usually the narrator, thinks they're superior or better than everyone else because they wear t-shirts and sneakers while the other girls wear short skirts and high heels. They think everyone else surrounding them is shallow and vain and therefore, not worth their time. Or that the feminine people bully them for not being like them, which is not exactly a good way to showcase freedom of choice in wardrobe.
I'm not saying you can't write a mean girl who wears short skirts, I'm saying you shouldn't make her mean because she's feminine, or make being feminine and mean her entire personality. One-dimemsional mean girls and airheaded ditzes are the reason why internalized misogyny is prevalent in teen fiction, why tomboy MCs who think they're special because they read, who shit on other people because they have different outfit choices than they do, are seen as the standard. Make sure the mean girl is mean not because she's a girly girl, but because she's just a jerk. I know many people like that, but femininity has nothing to do with any of them.
Internalized misogyny is also the reason why the mean girls make fun of the tomboy for not being more "feminine." A very good example of this would be when in that one episode in Big Mouth, all the girls decided to wear outfits that went against their school's sexist dress code as a way to protest, but Missy wasn't comfortable wearing that stuff, and she thought her friends would accept her efforts towards the protest (she made such cool signs, you guys) if she just showed up in her usual overalls.
They did not. They attacked her for not wearing a tank top and stuff that showed off her bra straps, which upset Missy. The misogyny goes both ways, and it just ends up damaging everyone in the process.
It's unfair to attack someone because they have a different sense of style than you do, because they have different interests than you do, just because heteronormativity makes you think hobbies or clothing have a gender. Which makes the characters dickheads for bullying each other over it. No matter who does it, it's wrong anyway. And girls hating girls for being girls is so 2000s. Be better.
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