[jame7t]

I put on the maid outfit and I make your house messier

[lucydacusgirl]

*says ‘I’m so fucking sick of this pandemic shit’ in a distinctly vaccinated, pro mask, pro lockdown, pro taking all the necessary safety measures way*

[thewillowandfox]

[jakemorph]

someone edit this pic to be dr phil levitting the bottle wit his mind powers

[3ology]

[soapallo]

just watched venom 2

[actualbird]

my parents who have been married for like a billion years are having their billion year anniversary in a few days and theyre renewing their vows. they put me in charge of planning and program and emcee-ing and they told me to “have fun with it” so heres my first two slides of the program

[filmsoundtracks-moved]

[girlbossfranziskavonkarma]

villains are fine when they kill people I draw the line at being horrific parents though

[obsessions-haver]

maleficent? outstanding. go off. beautiful. mother gothel? I will kill you.

[antimasculist]

i feel like a middle aged mother when my friends start talking about guys they find attractive. i dont want to be mean so im like well he looks like a very nice young man i like his shirt :-)

[mxnrique]

[chilewithcarnage]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh no i've had a Thought

[just-binch-thoughts]

*cocks gun*

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

mike wazowski wearing a face mask but in the back it ties around in a g-string

[marsziepan]

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

Mike Wassoutski

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I know I suggested this but I was genuinely unprepared for the intense pseronal anguish of coming face to face with the obvious consequences of my sin

[funshinebf]

this mqkes me so happy. he looks so comfy

[grebcomics]

Just two cool frogs hanging out

[rodrickheffeley]

menthol illwess innit

[rodrickheffeley]

celebrities watching parasite be like

[rodrickheffeley]

this is funny to me. self awareness level 0

[regnum-lab]

[omgthatdress]

Parasite deserves the Oscar for this post alone.

[hazeldomain]

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

[hazeldomain]

The poll winner seems to be “depends on whether you like him” which is super valid.

Mine watches fox news so “mom’s husband” it is!

[brainsforbabyjesus]

My family has a great way of distinguishing between a new spouse you like and new spouse you disdain!

Your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are actually a cool person, you use their first name. So if you were to introduce them they would be: Aunt Jane and Bob.

If your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are a fuckwad you introduce them as: this is Aunt Jane and her second husband. The implication being that they are very replaceable and that we’re all just waiting for her to wise up to the situation and serve you divorce papers, she did it once, she can do it again.

[hazeldomain]

MAGNIFICENT

[readysetyeet]

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

[devilboyblues]

"my stepdad's wife"

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[dsmsix]

[mazzes-deactivated20250218]

i want to smoke crack with her