Character concept: A vampire who disguises as human by being that mf who is always cold. No longer affected by temperature, they'd have no problem wearing booty shorts and nothing else in the middle of the winter, but instead using this power to wear improbably thick layers of sweaters and wool cardigans in the summer and double that in the winter, always carrying a cup of tea or coffee to warm their hands just in case they need to shake hands or something and need their hands to only be cold-human-hands -cold instead of What The Fuck That's Icy kind of cold.
Recreationally fighting upper management about not being allowed to wear a winter jacket inside in the office and getting nagged at by sweet middle-aged office ladies about how the reason why they're always so cold and pale and everything is becuase they've never seen this mf eat anything. Nobody notices that they've never seen them actually drink their hot beverages, either.
It doesn't occur to anyone to suspect that not only is this mf completely invulnerable to ice and snow and any heat short of being set on fire, in their free time they're perfectly capable of grabbing a grown man by the ankle and beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
I have absolutely zero respect for a vampire with an office job. (Unless they're like a brand new baby vamp) Learn how to rob billionaires you knuckle heads. Tf are you doing a 9-5 for when you could be tormenting your enemies?
blanket vampire reading hate mail in the office
