Um, hi?

What is she doing with her life? Who knows.

[this-is-weird-behavior]

i really do not think it can be overstated how much hatred against trans men on this site is driven by people finding trans men Just Kind Of Annoying. people have pipelined themselves into posting on the daily about how tmes should be raped to death because 6 years ago a teenage trans boy was somewhat overexuberant on a fandom post, and other such minor irritations. finding someone (and therefore their entire segment of the population) Just Kind Of Annoying is a direct line, especially on the internet, to completely unpersoning them. nothing one of those people ever says or does should be taken seriously, even if it's a matter of life and death. because they were kind of annoying :/

[this-is-weird-behavior]

hang on yeah i want to talk more about this ^ specifically. been seeing people here discuss the phenomenon of the fascist "right to comfort" mostly in terms of people not wanting to have uncomfortable conversations or not wanting to be exposed to topics that are harmless but make them feel weird. and cringe culture is very much an extension of that perceived right to comfort. if you cannot extend your tolerance to someone who is really fucking annoying, not to be best friends with them or anything, but just to protect their basic rights and dignity, you lack principles. point blank. you need to build a bulwark of values that prioritize autonomy and dignity for everyone and it needs to be strong enough to weather the most irritating person you know, or else you will also inevitably become a fascist or part of the fascists' body count.

[thunkonthehead]

Hello white tumblr user. In front of you is a post made by a Black person about their experiences with racism in a fandom you are a part of. Your challenge is to read the entire post without telling them they're making things up or making a big deal out of nothing. You also may not tell them they're wrong to tell people how to enjoy media or that they should focus on real world issues instead. If you fail this challenge the case of live hornets I have implanted in your sternum will unlock, allowing the hornets to sting your insides until you succumb to the venom. You have 60 seconds. Good luck.

[fagstaynight]

some people on the internet have only been on here for five minutes

[cowboyspones]

i will never get over this one i’m afraid

[tlirsgender]

"You know what's harder than Getting Better? Living Like That" is just the thesis for my whole shit going on right now honestly. You know what's harder than doing my physical therapy? Hurting All The Time. You know what's harder than addressing my gender dysphoria? Hurting All The Time

[tlirsgender]

I'm Doing The Hard Thing and it's *easier* than how I was living before. If you make yourself feel better you will have more energy to spend on Getting Better. Nice inch nails - the upward spiral. Crawl out of your grave Thursday

[partywithponies]

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

[partywithponies]

Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.

[eternalgaylord]

collecting tweets

[eternalgaylord]

#vessel alert

that's right

[gaydiation-poisoning]

It would kill half the 19-25 year olds online to realize "I can't help it I have trauma" is one of THE quintessential abuser excuses

[gaydiation-poisoning]

Like there is a difference between "My trauma creates impulsive urges and has changed my instinctive reactions to be irrational, I need to relearn shit." vs "I'm traumatized so I Can't Help It and you're not allowed to expect better of me"

[mackdaddyofthecravate]

Please return us to a world where Notp and squick are used for a ship you don’t like instead of just making up a load of bullshit about how immoral it is or w/e lol 

[sazandorable]

a short selection of concepts and phrases that used to be commonplace in fandom and we’d really benefit from making that a thing again:

NOTP: the opposite of an OTP (One True Pairing). It is a ship a fan strongly dislikes. The word is a portmanteau of ‘no’ and ‘OTP’ and thus is not a contraction of any particular phrase.

Squick: anything that is a deep-seated, visceral turn-off. Squicks may be shared by many fans or be specific to one; one person’s kink may be another person’s squick.

YKINMKATO, or kink-tomato: Your Kink Is Not My Kink, And That’s Okay: used to indicate support for fannish diversity and to distinguish between disapproval or kink shaming and simply having different taste.

DLDR: Don’t Like, Don’t Read: a phrase used to warn against complaints about an aspect of fic or meta. A “live and let live” philosophy of fandom, which places the responsability for avoiding content one doesn’t want to see on the side of the fanwork consumer, rather that on the creator’s.

SALS: Ship And Let Ship: similar to the above specifically about shipping tastes.

YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary: a phrase used to acknowledge that any given individual’s personal opinion on the topic at hand may differ due to their own tastes, standards, values, experiences, etc.

As the OP points out, all of these crucially imply no moral judgment of what they’re designing.

(definitions lifted more or less wholesale from fanlore’s relevant pages)

[shatterpath]

bring the healthy fun back to fandom!

[thorst]

Co-signing all of this. Bring back the ancient texts

Also I saw someone saying they’d never use squick because it’s such a silly, made-up sounding word and I thought that this has been part of the problem. Fandom itself isn’t silly; it can be deeply meaningful (it has been to me!) however things can be deeply meaningful and silly. We (society) have got to stop acting like being childish is the worst thing you can do. Embrace silly whimsy.

Saying “this squicks me” is useful maybe because it’s a bit silly. It imparts no judgement. It’s like “this is about me” And importantly it doesn’t water down other terms which have important clinical implications that I don’t think I need to name

[pendragyn]

Squick = Squeamish + Ick.

Let’s bring back “Fandom Wank” as a term/tag too, because honestly calling it “discourse” is too dignified a word for the vitriolic circle-jerk melodrama and trolling that’s been going on. The flame wars never ended, it’s just sometimes wrapped up in therapy speak to pretend it’s more civilized.

And let’s be real about trollish behavior in fandom. Telling someone they are mentally ill, or that they deserve to die, solely because they have a different opinion on a piece of fiction than you, is fuckin nasty ass troll shit behavior. Sockpuppet accounts, sending anon hate, spreading unfounded rumors and straight up lies about someone, all nasty ass piece of shit troll behavior.

You don’t get to claim the moral high ground and then put the bar so low it’s a trip hazard in hell.

[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[katebeckets]

In theory, maybe I get the “we’re all just playing with barbies, they’re fictional characters, no interpretation is incorrect because it’s an interpretation” argument. But actually no, not all takes are equally valid. Framing something as an interpretation doesn’t mean it inherently has merit. Some takes are completely incorrect and betray a fundamental misunderstanding of the source material. They just aren’t a reason to harass people or send death threats

[overseer-picard]

[adrenaline-revolver]

it just now hit me that they went for the same insane “name that feels like a misnomer or mean nickname because it’s what they can never have but really they’re able to get it in the end” with Armand’s birth name in the show just like the books

Andrei- Manly, Brave. On the surface he is absolutely neither but in reality he shows immense bravery in that he refuses to crumble despite being dragged to hell and being forced to lead it.

Arun- Dawn. They named a vampire Dawn. At first it just feels unfair but then you realize that by learning to become a day walker he literally stole the dawn back for himself.

He’s not named ironically, he’s named for what he achieves.

[boycritter]

the annoying thing about weightlifting is that you have to lift weights that are a little too heavy for you if you want to get stronger. and you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to keep building muscle. fucked up.

[boycritter]

thank god this same principle doesnt apply to any other skill you want to improve at! that would really suck.

[sugar-petals]

hot take in a roundabout way i think that's also why so many of us opt out of becoming parents ourselves

[advanced-passenger-train]

Does anybody know how to fix it

[rosslynpaladin]

Start disappointing people and not backing out of it when they are upset, reject feeling ashamed of everything including of yourself, start saying No to things you do not want to do not just things you're scared of, do more of those things you're scared of but wish you could do, make your own plans and execute them, decide to do or not do something without basing it on who will Dislike it.

Free Will takes practice, and the chance of making someone somewhere Slightly or even Very Disappointed In You. But you're an adult and you can't be made to stand in a corner anymore.

[sugar-petals]

hot take in a roundabout way i think that's also why so many of us opt out of becoming parents ourselves

[advanced-passenger-train]

Does anybody know how to fix it

[rosslynpaladin]

Start disappointing people and not backing out of it when they are upset, reject feeling ashamed of everything including of yourself, start saying No to things you do not want to do not just things you're scared of, do more of those things you're scared of but wish you could do, make your own plans and execute them, decide to do or not do something without basing it on who will Dislike it.

Free Will takes practice, and the chance of making someone somewhere Slightly or even Very Disappointed In You. But you're an adult and you can't be made to stand in a corner anymore.

[sugar-petals]

hot take in a roundabout way i think that's also why so many of us opt out of becoming parents ourselves

[advanced-passenger-train]

Does anybody know how to fix it

[rosslynpaladin]

Start disappointing people and not backing out of it when they are upset, reject feeling ashamed of everything including of yourself, start saying No to things you do not want to do not just things you're scared of, do more of those things you're scared of but wish you could do, make your own plans and execute them, decide to do or not do something without basing it on who will Dislike it.

Free Will takes practice, and the chance of making someone somewhere Slightly or even Very Disappointed In You. But you're an adult and you can't be made to stand in a corner anymore.

[downahill]

and if i said this is how armand operates in the world because his only frame of reference for love is marius who hurt and controlled him but hurt and controlled him less than those who hurt and controlled him before

[burr-ell]

YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN HANDLE CRITIQUE. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN EMBRACE BEING TOLD YOU WERE WRONG. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH UNPLEASANT TASKS. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN DELIVER DISAPPOINTING NEWS. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU KNOW HOW TO BE DISAGREED WITH. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN BE CORRECTED. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN BE TOLD YOU MESSED UP. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU ARE ABLE TO DO HARD THINGS.