don't flush it

rainy fascism island | they/佢

[abyssaldyke]

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

[destinationtoast]

Cultural Insights of Our Own: Lessons From a Newly Decoded Digital Archive

Interplanetary Journal of Cultural Studies

Volume 16, Issue 3, Pages 322-340

Abstract

The recently decoded Internet Archive includes the digital artifact called “Archive of Our Own” (AO3) from early third millennium Earth.  AO3 is unusually well backed up and therefore is presumed to contain some of the most significant -- perhaps even sacred -- texts of the time.  In this paper we present our preliminary analysis of AO3 metadata, including new insights about the literature, gender and sexuality, religion, and scientific understanding of this historical era: 

I. LITERATURE. We describe the cultural centrality of figures such as the Winchesters and Reader.  We explore how they featured heavily in every dominant literature genre of the era, including Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and Oral Sex.  

II. GENDER AND SEXUALITY. We review the overwhelming evidence that male-male relationships were the most culturally significant sexual and romantic relationships, but we also show that it was a culture with an unusually broad set of sexual and gender roles.  In particular, we highlight the unusual tripartite conceptualization of gender as including alpha, beta, and omega roles; we note the apparent prejudice against betas, illustrated in the prevalence of “no beta we die like men” and similar protest slogans. 

III. RELIGION. We describe a newly discovered religious taboo: doves were a common sacrificial animal of the time, but they were forbidden from being eaten.  

IV. SCIENCE. Finally, we present new insight about alternate universes.  While previous scholars hypothesized that the scientists of Earth may have developed a correct early theory of the multiverse by the late second millennium, our analysis of AO3 presents evidence to the contrary.  As late as the early third millennium, prevailing theories postulated highly specific universes, such as a universe in which everyone is in high school, or a universe contained within a coffee shop.  

Taken together, these historical insights show that further investigation is warranted into the valuable documents stored within AO3, perhaps even going beyond the metadata to examine the full texts.

[wheremermaidsdwell]

I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.

so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.

So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.

Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.

if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'

At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.

(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)

Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.

(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)

I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.

A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.

At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.

my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. My stroke was caused by an vertebral arterial tear, aka the inner part of an artery tore which can cause a clot. This tends to be the type of stroke young people have although I'm sure it's possible to have a different type.

I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.

[sunderwight]

The thing about the destiel news meme is that I actually think it's great.

It does let you know that something has gone on in the world. But it's such a short format that it could never even pretend to give you all the relevant information about that thing. It usually provides less detail than the average headline, so it's not actually reporting, it's more like shouting a head's up across a crowded room. Still lets you know that something has happened though.

The very fact that it's a goofy and irreverent fandom meme also serves as a perpetual reminder that using social media to get news is a bad idea. Now that you know something has occurred, go read an actual article from a real source to verify it and get the details. It's an alert system with a format that never lets you forget that alerts are not articles, and that this website is not beholden to any kind of journalistic integrity.

I love it, the comments on destiel news memes are almost always full of people saying that they saw it and then rushed off to go verify the news with a reputable source. Do you know how often more "serious" format news stuff on this site just leaves people complacently certain that they've been given accurate info? Way too often. I wish half as many of those news updates had people commenting that they left tumblr to go double check it.

[aiden-morse]

“If you love cooking with garlic, you know it does a lot of good in recipes by helping build flavor — but its strong odor can linger for hours, especially on our hands. We’ve all been in the situation where after preparing a wonderful meal, we’re left with the stench of garlic on our fingers — yuck! There are a few tricks people often recommend to eliminate the smell: lemon juice or vinegar, rubbing your hands with salt, or even using toothpaste! But those don’t work — all they do is mask the garlic smell. So what does really work? Stainless steel.”

[deeptalkswithmonica]

cooking with garlic? jerk off your sink

[bucketofdeltav]

STRONGLY recommend jerking off a stainless steel spoon or just getting one of those gimmicky stainless steel ‘soap’ bars rather than using your expensive and hard to replace plumbing hardware - the stainless steel does get the stinky sulfur compounds off your hands, yes, but they have to go somewhere, and where they go is onto the steel. And stainless steel is not actually corrosion proof if you keep putting sulfur compounds on it frequently long term!

- local friendly chemist with considerable experience in What Things Can Eat What Grades of Stainless Steel (for spacecraft purposes mainly; don’t rub copper chloride on your taps either).

[machine-unlearning]

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

[machine-unlearning]

He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”

[rhube]

Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Also, for reference, Farage resigning won't actually stop the investigation against him. The investigation will just be paused while the by-election is going on.

If he wins, the investigation will no longer be paused. It looks very likely that Farage will be found to have breached parliamentary disclosure rules which, considered the severity (5 million quid ain't nothing), could get Farage suspended from parliament.

And if Farage is suspended for 10 days or more, it could trigger a recall petition which can trigger a new by-election that Nigel would have to stand in again if he wants to keep his seat.

But if he loses, the investigation may be picked up again. Not being an MP does not mean the investigation can't continue. If it's considered appropriate, it will carry on.

I say this for anyone in Clacton-on-Sea who worries voting for the Count would let Nigel off scot-free. Farage does not have a get-out-of-jail-free-card for this investigation. Especially because there's at least another four Reform donations that were reported by bankers as suspicious.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

All very true lol

To clarify further, candidates like Count Binface, Lord Buckethead, etc will stand in elections as the political equivalent of some dangly shiny keys to distract toddlers - there are always people who want to protest vote, and also people who will do what they think is funniest. So, these guys will stand in constituencies where important candidates are running to mop up the idiot votes and help protect the integrity of the actual contest. This is why they run in the constituency where the incumbent prime minister stands.

Here, it's necessary because of the exceptionally weird situation described above

HOWEVER, I should stress that there are actually multiple candidates - no post I've seen on this subject on Tumblr this far seems to mention this, so I think everyone is coming away with the idea that it's Farage or Binface. Ad OP says, no MAJOR parties are standing - even the Tories are calling this "Farage's fake by-election" (insert the Good Place "Even Jason got it? This one hurts" meme). But, there are currently nine confirmed candidates! Let's take a look at the high quality the people of Clacton are being given:

Nigel Farage. See above. He is standing for Reform, the UK's main far-right party which is splintering into identical sounding smaller parties even as we speak

Count Binface, the political extra-terrestrial alter ego of comedian Jonathan David Harvey (his stand-up shows are currently selling the fuck out lol)

Reclaim, one of the splinters from Reform, are sending infamous washed-up racist actor and all round piece of shit Laurence Fox, a man who simply will not stop partaking of his favourite hobby, which is losing defamation lawsuits for calling gay men and drag queens paedophiles

The British Democratic Party, a splinter group founded by former National Front members from the British National Party who felt the BNP was getting too soft and left-wing, are sending Kai Stephens.

The Forward Party, a party so obscure they don't even have a Wikipedia page, are sending Adham Alkhatip. He, too, does not have a Wikipedia page

And now! The independents!

6. Piers Corbyn, a conspiracy theorist who thinks climate change and COVID are hoaxes and is friends with David Icke (and describes his ex-wife as a Jewess)

7. Rob Pownall, an anti-fox hunting campaigner who likes to stand for election while dressed as a fox

8. Ollie Granger, a television personality

9. Luke Worley, a reality TV guy who, unlike everyone else on this list, is actually from Clacton

Meanwhile, the Monster Raving Loony Party have stated that they intend to field a candidate. So between Binface, the fox guy and whoever they choose, we might actually get three separate candidates in fancy dress to watch Nigel Farage's weird temper tantrum

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hi, alas you're the third person I contact tonight about this, the "Felix Marinez" cat jury duty is fake, it's AI posted by a content farmer on X. There are more detailed explanations in the notes.

INTERESTING

I read it out to my husband, and as I did it was actually tingling my Spidey senses. Nothing I could put my finger on, it just felt off, you know? Something about it.

[michaelnordeman]

I believe this is a Red-belted conk/Fomitopsis pinicola/klibbticka, although I'm not entirely certain. I am, however, quite sure about the cause of the droplets. This phenomenon is called guttation, and it's a sign that the fungus is actively growing. As pressure builds inside the fungus, excess water and dissolved substances are released as droplets, helping to regulate moisture within the fruiting body. Fridenborgshöjden nature reserve in Värmland, Sweden (2 July 2026).

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[chronically-ill-dandy]

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

thanks for ruining my post jackass

[chronically-ill-dandy]

(￣^￣ﾒ)＼✿ "Fine, I'ma keep ya damn flower.“  

[ufo-offical]

*flies past*

[shocktherapyrecipient]

It’s the fact that

1) OP made a post that seemed interactive but then

2) Did NOT want anyone to actually engage

I remember tumblr at the time. It wouldn’t have changed OP’s post so lmao big L for OP making it weird

But best of all:

Most people didn’t realize there WAS a response until this fuckin UFO went by.

Nature is ✨️Beautiful✨️

[velvetvexations]

"Even cis men?" is the obvious response to my stance that practically anyone can be lesbians, and to answer with another question: are any cis men actually doing that to begin with? I mean, unironically, not as a joke? Because I don't think they are. Generally cis men aren't not going to sincerely identify with the term the way cis women and trans people will. Cis men essentially self-regulate themselves out of the definition without anyone needing to make that definition have concrete limits.

Whether it's WLW, transmascs who drove through Dykeville to get where they are now, or anyone else, you should assume someone calling themselves a lesbian has a good reason for doing so.

[cock-holliday]

The only “cis men” i knew to use the label are the ones who lamented “i wish i could be a lesbian but unfortunately im a cis man” approximately a month before Realizing something about themselves and I will always ALWAYS maintain that being gentle about what that could mean for them is the right answer and not “omg you’re trying to prey on lesbians”

The two types of people to “jokingly” identify as a label:

1. Asshole trying to be edgy. If youre mad they double down, if you go ok ill call you that, they freak out and distance themselves from the label

2. Someone trying to figure themselves out

In both scenarios, using what they insist they are brings out the best outcome, and assuming someone is a 1 when they are a 2 and being hostile will only (shockingly) make it harder for them to come to terms with their identity

[keplercryptids]

I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”

[keplercryptids]

him: you split up all the song of ice and fire books

me: yeah i know, they’re all primary colors, it’s perfect

him: [self-destructs]

[operativesurprise]

You’re a monster

[thetumblrofrassilon]

As a former bookstore employee, this hurts my soul. I mean, sure it looks nice, but how do you find anything?

[keplercryptids]

it has occurred me during this process that apparently not everyone thinks about books by what color they are? like, literally when i’m looking for a book, i picture it in my mind. i have a very…tactile experience with the books i read and idk! i thought everyone did that lol.

my partner was like “how will i find [this book] for instance” and i replied “easy, it’s purple” and he looked at me like i was a witch.

[holdmecloseandfast]

OP your brain is neat and I love you for it you funky little color-coded cupcake. But you’re still a monster.

[krsonmar]

This actually is interesting in terms of information-seeking behavior, which is a thing librarians think about a lot and often actually study (some library jobs require you to publish, and academic librarians, for instance, will often use the students at the college they work at to study how they search for information in order to figure out how to best provide them services).

When you go for an MLS (Master’s of Library Science, which is a thing, and which is usually required for “professional-level” library work [which is also a weird and contentious concept that I won’t go into here]), one of the things you study is the organization of information. This deals with how to determine what a book or other material is “about"—a concept we tongue-in-cheek call “aboutness"—and how to convey that to a potential user of the item and make it easy for them to find. Things like keywords and subject headings, do I put this book about how often wild birds attack aerial drones in with books about birds or with books about technology, if its a fictional novel do I put fantasy in it’s own section or mix it in with all of the other fiction, so on and so on.

OP is organizing books by how they would look for them. OP’s partner is thinking in terms of aboutness. This is a system that works for OP because it’s their personal library: they know basically what books they own and they only own books that are relevant to them, and if they know what the book looks like, that can be a quick way to find it.

In a library that assumes the public (or people who do not own that particular collection of books) are using the collection, that doesn’t work. Books are often re-issued in multiple covers, or re-bound in new covers when they get worn out, and if the user doesn’t know what the book looks like or is expecting a different cover, they’re lost. That’s why non-personal libraries used standardized cataloging systems like the Dewey Decimal System or Library of Congress System to organize a book by what it’s “about”, and then put books about the same or similar topics together, marked with labels and signage so a person unfamiliar with the book or collection can find their way to it.

Basically, OP’s system works for their own personal library, because it’s best suited to how the primary user—OP themselves—looks for books. OP’s librarian partner is coming from a background of thinking in terms of a public-facing collection, where aboutness is the key criteria and communicating it to a user unfamiliar with the collection is the priority.

And also, OP is a monster.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[birdandmoon]

Heat waves.

[viewtiful-kim-deactivated202105]

Hamlet adaptation where Hamlet is a vlogger and all his soliloquies are breakdowns he uploads to YouTube

[animatedamerican]

… I am unironically here for this

[oldfilmsflicker]

this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

[kabesattic]

This is - legitimately - my favourite delivery of Shakespeare I have EVER seen (and I have seen some good-ass productions yo, in the Globe Theatre itself even). Like seriously, even though the words are unchanged, he’s stripped away ALL of the archaic pretense and assumed grandeur of ~presenting the bard~ that makes even the most wildly talented of actors and innovative of productions inherently inaccessible to a modern audience. Like, they’re still great, they can still communicate the message and (some) of the nuance, but they’re still always a step removed from being identifiable to any viewer’s lived experience. They’re still always reciting 15th century poetry. But this guy? This guy is like, screw iambic pentameter, to hell with being precious about the material, HOW WOULD AN ACTUAL PERSON SAY THIS SHIT?

Like this. And it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful to hear a soliloquy I loved so much already, and have it come to life in a way it never, ever, did before. I feel like I grasp his motivations, his twists and turns, no longer on an academic level but on a visceral, instinctive one. Because he’s presenting his mental and emotional journey in a way that speaks honestly, like a real person.

So yeah, this shit post? I love it. Deeply and sincerely.

[spicedtealeaves]

A post about this went round recently, and I’m delighted to announce she’s since come out as trans and goes by Jasmine 🏳️‍⚧️

Jasmine Brimsmayd

Actor and Writer

There’s a whole series of the Hamlet videos on her YouTube, as well as a bunch of other films she’s made

[invisible-goats]

Potato bracket final!

It was always going to come down to this

Roasties

Latkes

Voting ended onJul 7

[anfae]

meow