Welcome to [Undisclosed]

[emoi-aftonhockey]

[phoebebrxdgers]

wives & guy friends

[bangoskank]

seth jarvis.. seth jarvis if you’re there….. please…..

[bangoskank]

CAROLINA PLEASE I WILL OWE YOU MY LIFE

[bangoskank]

CAROLINA YOU ARE MAKING THIS LOOK VERY POSSIBLE

THREE GOALS IN THIRTY NINE SECONDS

[bangoskank]

The vegas knights work hard but the devil works harder (two goals waved off)

[sunnypeachyy]

Connor Storrie | Interview Magazine

[penandinkprincess]

the post is getting unwieldy in a "do you love the color of the sky?" manner, but ilya learns this while reading through an allergy forum and it keeps him up at night for WEEKS

shane is peacefully snoozing away after a tasty allergy-compliant dinner and meanwhile ilya is just

I could have killed him with one blowjob

[haley-harrison]

Ilya: Hollander and I are so close, we even share a toothbrush.

Shane: We WHAT?!

[penandinkprincess]

In my mind Shane’s allergies are latex, peanuts, tree nuts, and mangoes. The mango allergy is pretty mild and he LOVES mangoes so he eats them anyway but Ilya hates that so when he’s away from Ilya for sponsorship-related trips he’ll go eat a bunch of mangoes alone in his hotel room and later when he FaceTimes Ilya he’s got a suspicious mouth rash. Ilya’s like what are you doing. That better not be a mango reaction, Shane. Tell me it’s anything else. Tell me the makeup artist didn’t wash the brushes right and now you have herpes but do NOT tell me you’ve been eating fucking mangoes behind my back AGAIN—

the idea of shane who denies himself SO MUCH and optimizes SO MUCH OF HIS LIFE and is SO focused and SO dedicated

but who cannot resist the siren call of Forbidden Mangoes

it ends up being his end of season treat

he did a whole season, he did a great job, he stayed focused and On It the whole year. other people celebrate with champagne. shane celebrates with an allergen.

shane who has one last photoshoot to knock out before he's free and is just oh no :) it conflicts with my husband's schedule :) guess that means ilya can't go with me :) so sad :)

why are you so happy

i'm not :)

then he does the photoshoot and has knocked out the last thing he has to do in front of a camera for a while.

now it is Mango Time.

he facetimes ilya with the lights down WAY low later and ilya just ?? shane??? i can barely see you, malysh. turn a light on.

uuuhh, no thanks. it's sexier like this.

what? i want to se-

...

shane is it the fucking mangoes

...no

SHANE

YOU GET TO SMOKE SOMETIMES. I GET TO EAT MANGOES.

ARE YOU FORGETTING PART WHERE ALLERGIES CAN GET WORSE WITH EXPOSURE?

THEN I SHOULD ENJOY THEM WHILE I CAN

WRONG

[penandinkprincess]

Ilya learning FOR SURE that shane let him win during every foreplay wrestling match the day he has to try (*TRY*) to get this contraband mango away from him

[penandinkprincess]

fucking CACKLING about the idea that shane's drunk food is mangoes

on the single night every four business years that he gets drunk, everyone else is hitting up mcdonalds while he's trying to lose ilya in the crowd while googling the closest 24 hour market with a produce section

[penandinkprincess]

Okay I know you've got a lot of shallergies chaos around you rn but HEAR ME OUT

I'm like mildly allergic to mustard (like hives level WHICH IS FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT) and I usually avoid it wherever possible. But like there is this one place that makes these amazing mushroom crepe things that are so worth it. So like if I'm going to the crepe place, I know it's gonna be a menace for a bit, so I just schedule the Menace Time too. (Apparently that's not how everyone does it but hey IT WORKS and the crepes are WORTH) I can see Shane doing this with the mangoes. His calendar has like a yellow block in the summer for mango time and the consequences of mango time.

Also this is how Ilya gets early grey hair

ilya who is always teasing shane about being too busy and how he should clear his schedule sometimes and just relax and who is initially playfully approving of shane blocking out part of his calendar for-

...wait

-_-

shane is this for the fucKING MANGOES-

[penandinkprincess]

on the topic of #shallergies I am now enamored with the idea of Shane deciding that he wants to do tolerance training so now every weekend Ilya drives him to the allergist’s office and watches him eat exactly one-fifth of a peanut under medical supervision. it is a very stressful experience for him. he’s pacing and biting his nails while Shane ingests his crumb and plays on his phone for an hour waiting for something to happen. It takes a month to work up to eating one single whole peanut and Ilya’s halfway to premature grey hair by the end of it. he begins to resent the jar of Training Peanuts with the passion of a thousand suns

first of all "Training Peanuts" made me fucking CACKLE

second of all, SO funny to imagine shane deciding to use the summer to start doing this so it won't have an impact on his performance if it goes badly (*ilya voice* and what about impact on your husband? no concern for this?), which means ilya's stress levels are flipping WILDLY over the course of the summer.

yay cottage with husband FUCK these fucking peanuts yay cottage with husband FUCK these fucking peanuts yay cottage with hu-

[penandinkprincess]

the kicker being that it turns out shane doesn't even like peanuts

texture of peanut butter is Bad and the taste is meh

he tries a reese's at ilya's suggestion and is just "that's it??? the allergy ones you make me are way better"

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[penandinkprincess]

really among the most compelling elements of shallergies for me is the "you can't have what other people get without consequences, and the easiest path to processing that is just telling yourself you don't want it, and control is not only important: it's ESSENTIAL for you to be okay" of it all when it comes to shane

[penandinkprincess]

there is obviously angst in it, too, but shane putting mangoes and gay sex in the same mental category of "bad for me, but i want it" is SO goddamn funny to me

[darlingofdots]

prev tags:

my brain, immediately:

[bangoskank]

this may be the rum talking but i lowkey wanna get my nips pierced

[hyphenemdash]

and what if i said they’re PraiseKink4PraiseKink? hmmmmmm????

shane is a more classic type. he wants to know he’s good, that he did it right, that he followed the rules and achieved the goal. that he’s the best, at whatever task you set in front of him. sucking cock, scoring goals, gagging, skating fast, taking what ilya gives him, weeding the garden. shane just wants to be given the rules and guidelines for everything so he can be absolutely certain he’s making the people around him ilya happy. and he wants to hear it. he wants ilya’s words, verbal confirmation of “yes baby exactly like that you’re made for me thank you for doing that for me god i’m fucking a king so so good baby”

ilya is a little more nuanced. outright praise he often brushes off because deep down, the little kid inside of him doesn’t think he deserves it. his mother left, his brother hated him, his father was constantly disappointed. nothing ilya did could or would ever be enough. but with shane, he is. fast enough, strong enough, good enough, loving enough, big enough, fucking him hard enough. and shane tells him in ways that he can digest, ways that settle deep in his bones and chase away the ghost of the words of his family. relying on ilya without ever second guessing that he’ll be there. trusting him with every facet of his life, professional and personal. deferring to ilya in front of an audience, highlighting his achievements like they’re both nothing to someone as good as ilya, and impossible to achieve for anyone else. choosing him, over and over and over and over.

and shane knows that, to and with ilya, he is good.

and ilya knows, to and with shane, that he is enough.

[gayhockeyshow]

Hey…. Hey… Characters covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood