Beerswax

Conan, what is best in life? No, not all that crushing of enemies and lamentation of women crap...

[beerswax]

Capital Brewing Evil Eye Red IPA...Devil - Time To Repent

It’s reached over 40 degrees here in Melbourne. That’s celsius, you imperial-loving fucks. Which in imperial is over 100 Fahrenheit. So it’s a good day to shelter inside and drink beer. This beer - Evil Eye Red IPA.

It’s by a brewery based in Canberra, Australia’s capital. Canberra is a boring shithole. The only good things that come out of Canberra are the people who escaped it in search of better places. Politicians make crooked deals there, public servants live and breed there like vermin, and worse than that, it gets colder than Melbourne in the winter. Even the surrounding countryside is boring and uninspiring (at least in my opinion). Think “generic Aussie outer suburb/scrubland” and there you have it. 

Anyway, now that I’ve successfully pissed off people who actually LIKE Canberra (all two of you).... this brewery is great. Capital Brewing Co have done well with this IPA and with a pale that they do (which I will review a bit later down the track). According to their marketing, it’s named after a tree stump that had an evil eye painted on it. Cool. Can’t find an actual picture of this tree stump anywhere so it’s probably a load of bollocks. Still, I like the story. How does it taste? Very good. Not a “tear-off-your-head” IPA, this is somewhat more in keeping with an English style IPA: hops are much more pronounced, sure, but they’re not so strong that they linger like a lot of modern IPAs. It goes down quite refreshingly, and the dark malty aftertaste rounds it out nicely. It’s a very well crafted beer - dry enough and flavourful, but also with a heavy enough body to it to make it a substantial drink. I really like this beer and I’ll keep an eye on this brewery (NO I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE THE OBVIOUS JOKE).

This beer goes well with this record. Very well. It’s a mixture of fun, almost happy-sounding melodic doom whose core is evil and disturbing. The parallels are almost uncanny! 

Devil are a Norwegian doom band who specialise in catchy music which sounds like it was recorded in a basement. It’s purposely lo-fi and that adds to its appeal. Its members (in true extreme metal Scandinavian style) are in or are alumni of loads of other bands of the thrash, black and death variety so this seems to be their outlet for fun evil 70s-inspired doom metal. It’s a raspy, rough affair but the songwriting is extremely polished: these guys clearly know how to write hooky guitar and vocal lines. It’s much less of the slow-as-molasses doom and much more Pentagram-esque evil romp, both terms applied equally. There’s something I find really charming about this type of deliberate throwback doom if it’s done right and these guys know what they’re doing. It took me a while to get used to the vocals as they’re a bit cheesy and delivered in an odd fashion, but in the end you get used to them and they become an integral part of the sound they’re going for. It’s nothing new and as unoriginal as it comes but you know, sometimes (actually, A LOT of the time), that’s what makes it good. 

[beerswax]

Two Birds Double Sunset...Deep Purple - Burn

New year, new beer. 

Two Birds Brewery is run by, as it says on the tin, two birds (women); and as the industry is still pretty much dominated by blokes, they’re understandably proud of this and have made it a point of difference in their marketing. And they also produce some really nice beers, of which my favourite is their year-round Sunset Ale, an easy-drinking but still complex amber ale. This one, the Double Sunset, is a limited edition, amped up version with a hefty alcohol kick and a much deeper, and richer colour and taste. The mouthfeel is almost velvety (I’m not being a total wanker here, trust me – that’s kind of what it reminds me of!), and with apparently double the hops and a shitload more malt, it’s a real flavourful drink. But somehow the flavours are all balanced and it doesn’t become a huge mess. I really like this beer – it’s a true sippin’ beer and I wish – Oh how I WISH – they’d brew this year ‘round. Oh well. Maybe too much of a good thing would be a bad thing…?

And there’s no reason for pairing this fine beer with this very fine album, except for the fact that sunsets can look like a burning sky…yeah. No. That’s crap. Ignore I typed it.

This album represented a very dramatic shift for Deep Purple. After Ian Gillan and Roger Glover left Deep Purple, you could have forgiven them for hanging up their instruments and calling it a day. However, I’m guessing Ritchie Blackmore is a stubborn git and I bet he was fairly champing at the bit to get more people to harangue and abuse…I mean make great music with. So they recruited the amazing bluesy tones of David Coverdale and the competent bass work of Glenn Hughes who could also sing. Unfortunately. As such, he becomes essentially the SECOND vocalist instead of a back-up singer, sharing vocal lines and alternating to his heart’s content, pouring his obnoxious star-searching voice all over almost every song. I mean, I know I’m in the minority here and objectively, his voice isn’t bad – but if you already have such an amazing singer in David Coverdale, whose baritone grit and surprising high notes can grab you by the throat (even though he’s no Ian Gillan) – why oh WHY would you let Glenn Hughes then drench the thing in a different vocal style which you can’t help but notice and (if you’re me) be extremely annoyed by?

And yet, all that being said, I still love this album. It was on the whole a bluesier, funkier and more laid-back affair than anything the previous lineup had produced, but it still rocks damn hard and the songwriting needed a kick in the arse, which is what the inclusion of the new personnel obviously did. The title track storms out of the gate and is a real whirlwind, “Might Just Take Your Life” is a pacey rocker that almost bounces; a song like “You Fool No One” is funky and blistering, and then, the “my-woman’s-left-me” opus “Mistreated” (which, thank God, Glenn Hughes doesn’t sing on) is one of the best 70s blues jams I‘ve ever heard.  While I have huge love for almost all of the Mark II lineup’s output, and while I almost DESPISE Glenn Hughes, this album is still one of my favourites in Deep Purple’s canon.

“The people laughed ‘til she said ‘BURN’….”

[beerswax]

Southern Bay Brewing Company - Coffee IPA...Obliteration - Black Death Horizon

Merry Arsemas. May the Krampus shit in your mouth. 

On to the beer and the music. 

I love coffee and I love beer. I doubt I could cut either of them out of my life. However, as a combination they’re not always a winner. I’ve had a few coffee/beer hybrids and they don’t always work. From memory Mountain Goat made a good one (and I think I reviewed it...) but I’ve had a few, notable American ones, that I just think are gross. The coffee usually clashes with the hops and those two strong flavours just really don’t work well together.

That being said, this one isn’t bad. Southern Bay Brewing Company are a bunch down in Geelong whose beers I’ve not really had much to do with, but based on this drop I’ll have to try out their other wares. Apparently they used a Brazilian fruity-style coffee for the mix and it was a wise choice. It seems to pair up quite nicely with the IPA profile. It’s not an overly hoppy IPA either - they could have gone the full West Coast gambit and knocked your head off but the IPA part of the beer is quite restrained and it allows the sweetness of the coffee to come through before the hop bitterness kicks in. The aroma is like a mix of my coffee plunger the next morning as I’ve forgotten to rinse it out (not an unpleasant smell, trust me!) and sort of grassy notes as well. It’s also surprisingly easy to knock back - almost sessionable if you ignore the very blatant flavour profile. I’m still not a huge fan of this style, to be honest, but I would happily have another. 

This was paired with another fairly obscure band - Obliteration from Norway. They specialise in dark, old school, atmospheric death metal with a fair bit of thrash influence (and half of the band comprises members of Nekromantheon, another old school thrash outfit who do Slayer almost better than Slayer, which makes sense if you don’t think about it too much SHUT UP). I only have one album of theirs, this one. On first glance it’s easy to overlook - it looks like a stoner record with that uninspiring artwork, and the name Obliteration is fairly generic as well. But that would be a mistake because this is some of the finest death metal in the modern era. There’s no happy Entombed-style rock-infused death metal here - it’s evil and unrelenting, moody and disturbing, but melodically interesting and engaging. There are seven tracks on this 40 minute outing and every one of them is fascinating. A review I read on this album said that it’s familiar but unsettlingly different at the same time. You can pick their influences - early Autopsy and Morbid Angel to name a couple, and with wah-drenched solos that would make Kirk Hammett irritated that they’d stolen his schtick (and yet are much more enjoyable to listen to...) - but they warp these influences into something that isn’t a simple rehash. Strange melodies wreathe through this record on top of the aggressive riffing and it’s a joy (well, you know what I mean) to hear. You feel a bit nasty after listening to this record and yet you still want to hear more. Which, really, is how a genre like death metal should make you feel after listening to it, right? I have yet to listen to their other stuff and I should get around to it, ASAP.  I have a lot of envy for musicians who can write this sort of evil music and still engage the listener thoroughly. Highly recommended. 

[beerswax]

Exit Scotch Ale #016...Manilla Road - The Deluge

It’s 36 degrees celsius in the shade in Melbourne today. I love this shit. And I’m drinking after work because it’s what I do, man. And now I’m sampling this beauty - Exit’s Scotch Ale. Yes, it’s a colder-weather brew but I’m not fussy - hell, I drink stout in 40 degrees. 

I must admit that I’m back on the smokes, so my tastebuds are a bit muted. Nevertheless, this is a delightful beer. Dense in taste and mouthfeel, deep in colour and with an earthy and yeasty aroma that carries over into the taste as well. Bitter enough to keep you interested and it’s balanced well with a sweetness at the end of the sip. I can’t admit to having a whole hell of a lot of experience with scotch ales but this seems to tick all the boxes, and not in a perfunctory way either. Recommended if you like heavy ales with a bit of a sweet kick. And again, I don’t know much about this brewery, but apparently this is a more streamlined version of one of their first brews as a fledgling outfit. It makes me regret not checking them out sooner as I would have loved to compare this brew to their original one. 

And here’s Manilla Road’s 1986 album, The Deluge. I’ve reviewed this band before. You all know the major hard-on I have for them. Every metalhead worth their salt has at least heard of them, even if they don’t like them. And yes, they have many detractors as well as many foaming-at-the-mouth fanboys. I’m closer to the latter than the former but I don’t accept every shit they take on a plate and call it a masterpiece (as some of their later releases have been closer to than even I care to admit). That being said, between 1983 and 1988 I reckon they were untouchable. This album carries on with their trademark themes - power/heavy metal with thrashy influences with a spacey guitar tone that is both totally 80s and yet like nothing else in that era at the same time, Mark Shelton’s trademark nasal delivery and weird and wonderful fantastical/Lovecraftian/classical/anything else weird and fucked-up lyrical themes. It has quite a few quite short songs that hit you with their intensity, which leaves you enjoying the longer epic cuts like “The Deluge” and “Friction in Mass” even more. This release seems to be a bit overlooked, even by fans, but it’s always one of those that I spin and then wonder, “why don’t I listen to this more?”. 

As always for Manilla Road, recommended if you like heavy metal that’s a little...esoteric. 

[beerswax]

4 Pines - American Amber Ale...Attic - Sanctimonious

Yes you get 2 for 2. Aren't you lucky readers! All….maybe three of you. ;)

The beer - one of my favourite session ales. 4 Pines is a stalwart brand these days down here in Melbourne, and I find this beer quaffable in all weather, in all situations. Of course, I'm a borderline alcoholic but still - the judgement stands. This is a pleasant dark ale, hoppy enough to keep me interested but malty enough that it doesn't parch you at the end, well-rounded and very, very drinkable. It would probably be one of those good gateway beers for those trying to branch out into craft beers and their sometimes-strange flavours - it has lagery aspects in that it's very drinkable but without the hated (well, *I* hate it!) corny, grassy "lagerarse" taste of most commercial lagers I've suffered through, and as mentioned before, it's complex enough in flavour that you don't feel like you're drinking water after a while. If I want a good dependable beer that I can sit back and have one or quite a few of, this is one of my first choices.

Now the album - another favourite.

Attic were first on my radar in 2012 with their first full-length "The Invocation", and while it was pretty good, it didn't really stick with me. Very competent KIng Diamond worship with a shrieker vocalist who, yes, sounded EXACTLY like King Diamond, in all the good ways too - eardrum-splitting falsettos, sneering evil mid-range vocals and a flair for the dramatic. But it didn't stick with me because it was more King Diamond (solo band) worship than it was a Mercyful Fate copy - King Diamond's original band, and one of my all-time favourite outfits. With Mercyful Fate you had Diamond's insane vocals mixed with some of the best, and most numerous, heavy metal riffs I've ever heard, with an evil occult atmosphere. When Diamond shrieked "I DENY JESUS CHRIST THE DECEIVER!" and it was backed with Hank Shermann's brilliant sinuous guitar lines, you believed it. Then when King Diamond went it alone, his output was exceedingly good on an objective level, but I don't think he ever really reached those dizzy heights of the first three Fate releases (the EP [Nuns Have No Fun], Melissa and Don't Break the Oath). How could he? Those releases were masterpieces. Anyway, long story short, Attic's first album seemed to mirror Diamond's solo stuff quite a bit and while I enjoyed it, it sort of fell OFF my radar after that.

Come this year and Attic released this monster of a concept album - Sanctimonious. And I immediately fell in love with it. Yes, KIng Diamond specialised in concept albums (Abigail, obviously, but quite a few others through his career post-Mercyful Fate) so Attic haven't done anything new here. But something about this album just grabs me by the nuts. The concept is both parts familiar but engaging, tragic, over-the-top and (in an evil way) kind of hilarious - a disgraced nun, a despotic nasty Abess, evil deeds, betrayal,dead babies and eventual (SPOLER ALERT!) murder and bloodshed in the name of Satan. The actual layout of the album is exquisite, a gatefold with a huge booklet and lovingly-rendered illustrations (in all their gory glory) and bone-white vinyl. And the music? The riffs are very Diamond-Fate-influenced of course, all of which are engaging and lovingly-crafted, and there are some deliberate call-backs to previous riffs to fit with the narrative power of the lyrics. The soloing is incredible, both harmonised and as showcases, and there's a fair bit of modernish black metal tremolo riffing abuse and transitional blastbeating thrown in for good measure as well (after all, Mercyful Fate definitely informed the second wave of black metal, no matter what the kvltists might say). And, of course, the vocal stylings of Meister Cagliostro, who obviously, in his formative years as a young German lad, heard King Diamond's strangled vocals and said to himself - "fuck it. I wanna be this guy". He's so close to the King it's uncanny. It's obvious that these guys love all things Mercyful Fate and King Diamond, and unlike a lot of bands who emulate this style, they have the chops to pull it off AND are are aware of the need to keep it interesting if they're going to pay this sort of homage. And DAMN they do it well. In spite of myself, this is probably my favourite album of 2017 (not that I've heard a lot of new stuff this year, but anyway…), or at least in my top 2.

"THERE IS NO GOD!"

[beerswax]

Exit IPA...Iggy and the Stooges - Raw Power

Yes, it’s December. Yes I’m a bad reviewer. I’m okay with this.

First the beer - a blind purchase. I’ve never heard of this mob but if this beer is anything to go by, I should have by now. This is a pretty standard West Coast of the USA-style IPA - strongly hopped, resiny-flavoured, bitter at the end, and at a hefty 7% ABV. It’s a pleasant drink if you’re a hop-head like yours truly, but I imagine anyone who’s not a fan of the style won’t be bought over. NOt much else to say really - I like this beer a lot, and I’ll seek it out (and others of theirs - I actually have a scotch ale by the same mob that I haven’t tried yet) if I can find it at a decent price. Which...is probably not going to happen any time soon.

And as usual, the beer bears no relation to the album. I just wanted to listen to this one. 

This is the only Stooges album I own (or, if I’m being honest, have actually heard) and it’s a doozy. So I should own more, but you know, I’m the laziest record collector ever. This reissue is probably pretty faithful to the original, in that it sounds like utter shit. The production is all over the place, the playing is sloppy, and a lot of the cuts are amateurish and you can tell they were all  high as kites when making/recording it. It’s anarchic and intense and, in my opinion, brilliant. The terrible frenetic lead guitar is like a sharp knife through flesh and sits so uncomfortably above everything else that you can’t help but smile, as Iggy’s “I don’t give a good goddamn” vocals weave in and out at weird intervals and they all bash out proto-punk like they’re possessed. I love this record in all its crappy glory. Maybe that’s why I’m afraid to get any more Stooges’ stuff - I’m afraid that it just won’t hold up to the primitive bashing on this thing. I’ve read all the stories of their live shows and the violence and tension that they all contained and I can almost hear the jeers and the bottles striking heads as I listen to this record. Calling this a masterpiece is ridiculous but calling it a formative piece of extreme music certainly isn’t. Raw power, baby. Even if you hate it, this is one album you should hear before you die. 

[beerswax]

Mountain Goat Rare Breed - The Zymurgist IPA...Reverend Bizarre - In The Rectory of the Bizarre Reverend

I’m making this a bad habit once again...

Another one of the Mountain Goat rare breed brews. Since I first started drinking their beers, a lot has changed. They got bought out by Asahi, and they’ve expanded. I’m sorry to say that with that expansion, the predicted slight “dumbing-down” of their standard range has occurred. I swear the once-amazing Hightail Ale is no longer so amazing. I’ve reviewed their new Pale Ale and while I continue to drink it and enjoy it, it does somewhat pale (HURR HURR…) in comparison to their previous efforts. But one thing that has not changed is that they pull out these Rare Breed limited edition brews and they’e generally interesting and, for the most part, absolutely excellent.

The one on review today is one that was brewed last year, The Zymurgist, an American-style IPA which is at once familiar but also strange. The aroma is all IPA hoppy goodness with a slightly-off smell which is actually quite appealing for some reason, but I swear the first taste I had was those hops married wonderfully to a yeast -and-malty backbone which was immediately reminiscent of a dank, wondrously old Belgian brew. That is then quashed for a hop-and-alcohol rich explosion of IPA flavours. This is a genuinely-great IPA that shouldn’t really work as you can tell they packed in about a million different hop varieties into it, but by Beelzebub it fucking works. It has the over-the-top resiny characteristics of a West Coast IPA, with the slightly-skunky feel of an old-world European yeasty ale. My hats off to Mountain Goat - they can sometimes make the unlikely extremely, beautifully real. Yes, I’m a little pissed and channeling my inner total fucking wanker, but shut up. This is a great beer and I wish it were a regular one rather than a limited edition one.

I’ll admit, I’ve had this beer before. When Mountain Goat release these suckers, I stock up on them. I’m reviewing this one at the end of its life (it’s past its “best before” date by nearly a month) so I know what it tastes like. And I knew it would be, once again, an orgasm in a brown bottle. So I paired it with one of my favourite albums. Reverend Bizarre were a rare “true doom metal” band that had all the characteristics and cliches of a “typical” doom metal band - slow, over-the-top, silly, and totally unpalatable to people who don’t even know what doom metal is. They wore that “doom metal” label like a badge of honour. They went out to produce the doomiest of traditional doom metal ever. And my fucking GOD they succeeded. There are very few doom bands who can pull off what they pulled off. Their average length of song is longer than it takes to take the average dump/number 2, and they ALWAYS broke my cardinal rule of perfect album length (i.e. 45 minutes tops). But I will happily sit through their longest album, So Long, Suckers, which is over two fucking hours, regularly. They had the rare gift of being able to write doom songs that were slow, crawling, molasses-velocity amazing riff-fests, with Albert Witchfinder’s totally melodramatic vocal acrobatics all over them and some of the most incredible doom drumming ever. Most of their output was totally engrossing and engaging. Even when they were being super-indulgent and total wankers, it was just magical. This, their first album, In the Rectory of the Bizarre Reverend (and yes, I LOVE the word-play and homage to In the Court of the Crimson King here), contains a song called Cirith Ungol (because yes, of COURSE it is), which is 20+ minutes long and one that nay-sayers bring up to criticise the over-indulgence of the band… but I never really notice the time has elapsed, because the song is atmospheric, riff-driven, and wonderful. Reverend Bizarre were a true anomaly in the doom metal world - a band who, the slower they got, also got more interesting. Bands before and after have tried to emulate this and, in my opinion, have never even come close. Rev Biz took the template that Sabbath unwittingly laid down generations earlier and took it to the most illogical extreme, but for some reason it worked. Kimi Karki, the guitarist of Reverend Bizarre, formed a band called Lord Vicar after Rev Biz folded, and while they are an amazing doom band, in my opinion they just cannot compete with the legacy that Reverend Bizarre left. Whenever I listen to Reverend Bizarre, I can honestly say I have conflicting emotions - sorrow that they didn’t continue, but gratitude that they went out in a slow, burning blaze of glory.

[beerswax]

Renaissance Voyager...Blood Ceremony - Lord of Misrule

Look, if anyone wants to pay me to keep doing this...no? Oh well.

This is a New Zealand brew. I’m probably going to be accused of...something, but I have never had great experiences with NZ brews. And it’s not a patriotic thing either - I’m about as patriotic towards Australia as a rock, and I have little time for the bullshit jingoism that goes along with nationalism. But it is true - there’s something about the Kiwi brews I’ve had that has just never grabbed me. From the adjunct lagers to the craft brews; I’ve just never had a lot of luck with them. Along comes this English-style IPA from Aotearoa and I’m torn.

It’s not bad. But it is weird. Hops dominate but they’re a variety called fuggles which kind of smell and taste the way the word sounds. Kind of an onomatopoeic hop variety - fuggly. No, not fucking ugly - just...I dunno. Fuggly. Makes you feel fuggled and messy. Argh. The English language is bad for description - I’m sure there’s a magical word in German that perfectly describes this. Anyway, the nose is all that fuggly stuff, the taste is fuggly hops, and that’s about all. There’s a malty aftertaste for sure but it’s buried in the fuggly hops. Considering this is an English style, that’s not a great thing. Once it warms up it develops a bit more complexity and character but it’s still one-dimensional and a bit lacking. Oh, New Zealand. Once again, you have disappointed me. 

The above album is neither from New Zealand nor disappointing. Blood Ceremony is a band I've covered before, and they’re one of the few bands  in the modern day that I follow actively that are still quite prolific, not straying from their template, but whom still interest me. Maybe it’s because their template was from the very beginning quite diverse, as far as this niche genre goes. Occult rock steeped in Jethro Tull worship (flute-playing frontwoman and everything), borrowing riff ideas straight from all the 70s stalwarts and a few more obscure acts besides, and throwing in the occasional mellow Beatles-esque moment to screw things up. They’ve been doing this from their very first album in ‘08 and their output doesn’t really change very much from this already-rich melting pot of concepts. I remember reading a few reviews of this album (released last year) that were quite disappointed. I then listened to it and my first reaction was “what’s the issue? Nothing’s changed much, guys”. Maybe it’s a bit mellower and less doomy than the first 2008 self-titled was but it’s not like they started writing folk material and only that. Their songwriting chops are still strong, compositionally it’s still interesting and takes you on a journey, and the more I listen to this album the more I like it. Can’t really ask for much more. 

[beerswax]

Stockade 8 Bit IPA...Judas Priest - Screaming for Vengeance

What can I say? When I’m on a roll, I’m on a roll.

This was another random pickup. I’m not a gamer by any stretch of the imagination, but I used to have an 8 bit console as a kid, and I played my share of old arcade games back then. So I’m a bit of a sucker for this retro gaming imagery, and I wonder if these guys have had anything to do with the locally famous 8Bit burger joints in Melbourne. If not, they should definitely team up, as I imagine that this is one IPA which would work well with greasy burgers (in fact, there’s a little recommended food guide on the side of the label which does, indeed, include burgers.)

Anyway, this ticks all the boxes for me. It’s immediately reminiscent of the West Coast American IPAs but not as intense, and sometimes that’s a very good thing. It’s hoppy, fragrant, piney and bittersweet in all the right ways but also quite easy to drink. The alcohol’s a bit higher than a standard session beer so that could catch you out. I highly recommend this one, as it’s a great IPA that will appeal to the nastiest hophead but still might be accessible to someone who’s never really tried a highly-hopped beer, or someone who doesn’t really know if they like them or not. Good stuff.

And yes, the segue-fu is strong once again. Screaming for Vengeance is a great Judas Priest album, with all the strengths of the band married to a slight commercialism that makes the album highly accessible and yet it still screams. The opening is a classic heavy metal moment, the twin epic guitar attack of The Hellion followed by the sinister Electric Eye gets the ball rolling and you know you’re in for a treat. Everyone’s in fine form - Halford wails like his life depends upon it; the balladry of Take these Chains is actually incredible, the sexual innuendo on the tracks Fever and Pain and Pleasure makes you want to grind away like a fucking beast, and the speed metal classic of the title track makes you want to snap your neck. It’s an all-round satisfying Judas Priest outing, one that they sorely needed after the very disappointing Point of Entry, and as with the beer above compared to its style, it would be a good starting point for anyone not familiar with the band. 

[beerswax]

Thornbridge Jaipur X...Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy

Yeah...sorry. I suck. It’s been... a long time. My mate’s partner has had their baby, everyone’s being responsible and adult, and I can’t even muster the self-discipline to update a fucking blog on a regular basis.

And I’m a little drunk. SO any typos/weird pose/offensive bollocks - not my fault. It’s Drunk Me’s fault. He will be gone in the morning and Hungover, Fuck The World Me will be the unfortunate recipient of the other me’s bad choices. 

ANYWAY. Beer. I picked this up recently in my local grog shop. Never heard of this mob, but I’ll give an imperial IPA a red hot go. And it’s decent. Thornbridge are a British bunch and they do a typical British IPA (i.e. not an American tongue-and-tastebud fucker) and this one - which tries to emulate the American IIPAs and doesn’t really succeed. But it’s still very nice. Luxuriantly hoppy and malty, a very heady, sweet taste and an alcohol kick that I KNOW I’m going to regret tomorrow (I have also imbibed quite a bit of leftover shiraz before this). It was on special and I certainly wouldn’t pay full price for it but it’s a pretty good drop. 

You know something? My segue-fu is getting BETTER. This is basically how I feel about a lot of Zeppelin too. I do love them and think they are one of the most important bands in rock, but I don’t worship them like a lot of people do. I’ll be that guy and say that a lot of the time, Plant’s oft-lauded vocals make me want to rip his damn vocal chords out and piss on them before setting them alight. His over-singing ruined many a great Zepp track. But, he was also capable of captivating beauty and restraint when he wasn’t too busy shoving his head up his arse and admiring the wondrous ridges of his colon. On occasion.

Anyway, this album, Houses of the Holy, is actually one of my favorites of Led Zeppelin’s. It has all the excess that they were derided for, and even a lot of the annoyances I deride Plant for, but for some reason they largely work for me here. There’s something about the weird mix of styles, the ethereal production and somewhat otherworldly songwriting on most of the tracks, that endear it to me. From the frantic, jumpy opening The Song Remains The Same, to the wistful-but-sentimentally-overwrought The Rain Song, to the dumb-but-fun reggae-esque D’yer Mak’er, Jimmy Page strutting his funky thang in The Crunge....it somehow all just works. The excess, the experimentation, the headiness - it just makes this album quite enjoyable to listen to from start to finish. And it doesn’t hurt that the song No Quarter is on it, which is probably my most beloved Led Zeppelin track of all time. I know its magic qualities owe their very nature to studio trickery at its finest, but it just sounds so flat-out amazing to me every time I hear it.

‘Til next time. Which may be tomorrow, or might be next bloody year.

[beerswax]

Mad River Jamaica Sunset India Pale Ale...Argus - Beyond The Martyrs

Poking my head in again for a long-overdue beer n’ wax review. 

This is a pretty-well regarded American beer, from what I’ve read. Maybe it didn’t travel all too well to Australia (a bit like Australians coming back from overseas, really...), but my verdict of the six pack that I drank is: I’m not all that enamoured of it. It might be that it’s trying to emulate a tropical style beer in IPA form, but I just find it the aromas too sweet and sickly, and the taste too fruity. It’s almost like it can’t decide if it wants to be a sweet malty beer, or an IPA that kicks your bitter tastebuds in the metaphorical nuts. I remember the first time I had it - I was on a bender with a mate who’s about to lose his freedom (that’s what impending childbirth will do I guess...) and in my drunken state I found it unbearable. Later sober consumption improved it but I’m still not all too fond of it. It was going for a reasonable price at one of my locals  - hence why my drunken brain said “OH YEAH, A YANK IPA THAT WON’T COST ME MY MATE’S FIRSTBORN! GRABBING!”. But maybe it’s a sign that my drunken brain should just shut the fuck up every once in a while, I think. This beer is, to my tastebuds, overdone, slick and a have-in-small-doses affair. 

And this segues very well into this album too. Argus, a heavy/epic doom band from the US, on paper do everything right on this album - soaring, strong vocals, riffs aplenty, the pace is damn good for doom, and the lead work is impeccable. But the whole thing leaves me a little cold. It’s too slick, too professional. It’s like it’s forgotten that doom metal (hell, heavy metal in general) needs some darkness, grit and a bit of dirtiness to really work. I don’t think this of all metal albums: for instance, I absolutely worship Queensrÿche’s Operation: Mindcrime, even though it is the very definition of slick and professional, but it makes up for that sparkle with a great concept, amazing songwriting and the luck of being in the right place at the right time for my young mind to really appreciate it. This album doesn’t do any of that for me, unfortunately. It’s, objectively speaking, a very good piece of music, but I just can’t really get into it. 

There’s the lesson, people - if you want to impress me with doom metal, put grime all over the music and make me feel dirty when I listen to it. ;)

[beerswax]

Moon Dog Ogden Nash’s Pash Rash...Teitanblood - Seven Chalices

Back from another hiatus. Life’s been a little crazy.

I’ve written before about Moon Dog Brewery and my love for their out-there brews. This is another that was a limited run - an English stout with Redskins brewed with it. Yes,  these vaguely-racist Australian lollies (which now have much more innocuous packaging, although I doubt they’ll ever change the name. After all. We defend blackface, for fuck’s sake...amongst other hideous things we do to non-whiteys. But I digress...).

I was expecting something pretty weird, but it doesn’t really tick all the strange and wondrous (or otherwise) boxes for me. I mean, maybe it’s because my palate has been ruined by previous years of smoking, but I can’t actually taste the Redskins they supposedly chucked into the mash (5,800 of them, apparently). I can definitely smell them, or at least something saccharine and lolly-like - the aroma is sweet and sharp. The taste, though, is stout but with a strange, sugary kick. It kind of works - I mean, I dig it in a “well, this is different” kind of way. It has a sort of milk stout vibe but darker and heavier. The alcohol kick is definitely present. I dunno though, after all the hype I was given about this by the store I bought it at, I feel it’s kind of a let down. I certainly couldn’t drink a lot of this - I’d get sick of it pretty quickly. 

And there’s my segue-way.

Here’s an album I definitely can’t listen to on a regular basis. I probably pull this out once, maybe twice, a year. Teitanblood are an obscure, murk-loving death/black metal duo from Spain who specialise in dank, dark, pulverising, deeply underground extreme metal. On this, their first album Seven Chalices, you get pushed-to-the-limit Bathory- and Blasphemy-worship with doomy Celtic Frost-like passages, and a fair bit of the more current war metal sound, really, but made even more hostile and almost unfathomable by a dungeon-like production job and an absolutely unrelenting, unforgiving atmosphere of grimness, evil and pure fucking filth. There’s no other way to describe it - this album is filthy. There are excellent riffs but they’re mostly buried under a wall of extreme despair and utter hopelessness. The vocals are muffled, archaic, despicable and almost unlistenable. The drums sound like they were recorded through a microphone that was inserted violently into the arse-end of a dead goat that was being worshipped on an altar just five feet away. This is one of the most evil albums I’ve ever heard, and it’s one of the few in metal that I can truthfully say has affected me on an emotional level in that I always say to myself, at the end of it ”god damn that was intense, and while I enjoyed the hell out of it, I feel like a disgusting individual for doing so”. The unrelenting pessimism and darkness, not to mention the at-first tediousness of the extremity of it, may put you off, but it does reward with further listens. That being said, this was released in 2009 and I still haven’t gotten used to it. Doubt I ever will, either. This album is definitely not for the casual listener. You won’t understand it and it will probably, at best, just irritate the crap out of you. But for sick fucks like me, the occasional spin of it is very rewarding. If harrowing. 

[beerswax]

Mountain Goat Pale Ale...David Bowie - Aladdin Sane

I can’t believe I have to write another obituary of sorts here, so soon. God damn it, I wish the best would stop dying.

First, the beer. Mountain Goat, long one of my favourite breweries and one of Melbourne’s first craft beer mob, was recently bought out by the freaking enormous multinational Asahi. They insist that this will not affect their output in terms of quality as the founders have been retained as staff. Time will tell, I guess. The first thing they did post hostile takeover…I mean, acquisition…was release this pale ale. It’s pretty good, an easy-drinking Americanish style, but I don’t know if it’s just me or not but the usual Mountain Goat...essence, I suppose... seems to be lacking. I don’t know, maybe I’m just imagining it. I need to put these alongside some of their more stalwart beers like the Hightail and see if it really is all in my head. The beer hits all the right notes - subtle citrus on the nose, pleasing hops and faint fruit on the initial taste and a clean crisp follow, but again, there’s this nagging feeling that there is something off about it. Argh. I hope I’m not turning into a hipster.

Anyway, here’s one of the few Bowie albums I have on wax. Oh my god, I cannot believe this great man is dead. I mean yes, he was pushing 70, and he’d been battling cancer. But recently he’d been prolific as hell, releasing two albums in the space of a few years after a lengthy hiatus of sorts. And like the rest of his career, he wasn’t resting on his laurels - changing it up, keeping it fresh, defying convention. The man was a true fucking talent, and from what I’ve heard of his last album, he hadn’t changed at all - still pushing, changing, defying, surprising. Aladdin Sane is pure 70s glam rock but with some wicked little twists, and unlike a lot of the stuff from that era it doesn’t sound forced or dated in the slightest. There was a vitality to everything Bowie touched. He will be sorely missed. Vale, Starman, and take your place up there.

And yes, this, his last video, was the best goodbye an artist has ever given his fans. I defy any fan to not grin, frown and choke up within the short running time of this video/song. Truly a great artist. There will never, ever be another like him. Rest in Peace.

[beerswax]

Holgate Millenium Falcon...   Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back (VHS)

Welcome to a very special installment of beerswax, wherein there is no wax, just tape. I know, I know, no vinyl, I know. Eh. My blog, my rules. Deal with it.

I'm also going to switch things around here and review the media first. And yes, this is the original, un-messed-with versions of both Star Wars – A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back on VHS. Before George Lucas decided that he just had to insert more CGI dumshittery into scenes that are beloved by so many. Before Greedo shot first. Before Mos Eisley spaceport was populated with Jar Jar Binks-like “comic relief”. Before he decided to add in a terrible rendering of Jabba the Hutt talking to Han. Thankfully he didn't mess with my favourite Empire too much – I've seen the rebooted version and the changes are pretty minor, but yes, I do believe he ruined A New Hope with all the added computer-generated bullcrap. Because making three new rubbish movies wasn't enough for him... anyway, I love these two movies dearly, and I am still on the hunt for Return of the Jedi on VHS. Or some other form of media where he doesn't insert Hayden Christensen into the final scene. Because seriously, fuck that guy. Yes, I'm unapologetic in my hatred of the Star Wars remasters/reboots/screwups, and no, I won't budge.

(You know what's terrible? Like, absolutely awful? I just found out that people actually like the character of Jar Jar Binks. Seriously? What the absolute fuck? How can anybody with a soul actually like that trainwreck of a computer-generated glorified fucking alien rabbit? I have never hated a fictional character more than I hate that big-eared, walking, stupid-talking arsehole. I have never wished for a character to die more violently on screen than that shithead. And screw you, George Lucas, you couldn't even do that....)

Anyway...the beer.

This was a short-lived Holgate double IPA from 2013 which was then released again last year in small batches, I guess with a mind for the new movie? Now, I know I said in a previous post that I hate marketing. And this is still true. Yet, I am only human (and, I admit, a massive goddamn hypocrite at times), and I got so excited when I saw this beer that I bought two bottles of it. At a ridiculous price (no, not telling. It's mortifying). The first bottle I drank quite a while ago, and I meant to drink this one after I'd seen The Force Awakens...but I was so rapt after that movie that I forgot to drink it. I KNOW RIGHT? Anyway, I decided to imbibe this tonight while watching Empire with Mrs. Beerswax. And while I do like the 10% alcohol kick, and the wonderful nose on it (the strong aromatic hops here is enough to satisfy the fussiest hophead), the actual taste is not what you'd expect or probably want from a double IPA. It doesn't seem big enough in flavour really to support the alcohol content, and doesn't really stand up to its American counterparts. It's certainly not worth the amount you spend per bottle. Holgate have definitely done better beers that aren't this “special” type. But still, it was a decent drop and I regret nothing. NOTHING. May the Force be with you.

[beerswax]

Little Creatures Furphy Refreshing Ale...Van Halen - Van Halen

I’ve had this beer on tap before, and I remember not really digging it. I recall thinking “that’s no ale!” And turns out, it’s inspired by the kölsch style of beer, which explains  a lot. Anyway, it’s also a Little Creatures brew but made in Victoria (not Western Australia) in their Geelong brewery, and its marketing gimmick is the “all-Victorian” label, plus the use of the term furphy, which, according to the label, is paying tribute to the Furphy family of Shepparton whose business is in supplying water tanks and has been for years. Yeah, I get the link between old water tanks and old school beer. I suppose. I’m a little skeptical of these clever little marketing ploys (I prefer Bill Hicks’ take on marketing…).

What’s the beer like from a bottle? Not bad. I’ve seen it described as an improved version of a macro style beer and this seems to fit. It has some characteristics of macro-style lagers - mostly the good ones. Easy to drink and very sessionable, but it doesn’t have an excess of that nasty aftertaste I associate with adjunct lagers. The nose is a little grainy like some of those beers but not excessively so, and it doesn’t taste worse when it warms up, which is always nice. Another plus - it’s the cheapest beer at my local right now. So I might be getting a few more of these during the summer. I can see it being a pig-awful drink in winter (which, come to think of it, is when I last had it and why I didn’t like it).

And with it, a recently-acquired first pressing of my favourite Van Halen album, their first from 1978. I seriously love this album. In 1978, no one had really heard anything like this. Fret-tapping had been a thing in jazz for ages but Eddie Van Halen brought it to the masses and seriously, he shows complete mastery of his instrument on this album. I listen to virtuoso guitarists less and less these days but I always have a soft spot for Van Halen in most of their early iterations. This album, though, is their best. Eddie’s technique might have improved and their songwriting might have progressed in later albums but I love the fierce energy on this on. Plus, I know that when I want a Van Halen kick in years to come, I will still be listening to songs like  “Runnin’ With The Devil”, their cover of “You Really Got Me”, the quite vicious “Atomic Punk” and even the silly “Jamie’s Cryin’” over their later stuff any day of the week. An absolute classic.

[beerswax]

Gage Roads Sleeping Giant IPA…Briton Rites - For Mircalla

Background story needed for this beer - it was New Years Eve, 2015. I was guzzling some really shitty beer my old man had given me (I won’t tell you what it was  - it’s embarrassing). A mate came bearing a six pack of this beer - Gage Roads Sleeping Giant IPA. And for some reason, he swapped one for one of my shitty cans of beer. I don’t know why. I really don’t know why. All I know is that after sinking abysmal adjunct lager, this IPA was like a liquid orgasm. Nirvana in a bottle. I have never been more grateful to a human being in my life for giving me a reprieve from the awful canned trash that was the beer I’d been drinking beforehand. And then, the next morning, lo and behold, my best mate ever had left one behind in the fridge! OH JOYOUS DAY!

And then I had it without the context of the cruddy tinned macro adjunct lager, and its charms… lessened.

See, I’ve come across Gage Roads before. I’ve had a few of their beers in the past, and I was never impressed. And, sober, with my tastebuds untainted by previous swill, I remain unimpressed. This is not a bad beer; no, not at all. It’s just not worthy of being called an IPA. When I have an IPA, I expect hops. LOTS of fucking hops. I expect a pleasing bitterness. I don’t want to smell grainy undertones. This beer gives me fewer hops than I’d like, not enough of the bitterness, and a teensy nasty odour that is suspiciously reminiscent of lager. Thea aftertaste is almost non-existent and all up, the impression it gives is one of insipidness. All these things combined make me unlikely to shell out for it in the future. So, Gage Roads, you have once again disappointed me. Oh well. And to my mate who left it behind - thank you, and don’t worry - I still enjoyed it a million times more than that….other shit I was drinking (and fobbed off onto other unsuspecting victims. I mean people. I mean friends. Oh god, I’m an awful person).

Again, I had high hopes for this before pairing it with a great album. Briton Rites is a fairly non-prolific side project of a man named Howie Bentley, who has a cult power metal band called Cauldron Born which is also fairly low output. But he’s an impressive-as-fuck guitarist, and even though he’s a shredder at heart, he still had the inspiration to write, perform on, and enlist one of the better-known doom metal warblers, Phil Swanson, to produce this monstrous doom metal album in 2010. This thing combines intense, driving and head-bashing riffs, incredible soloing and bass work (all handled by Howie), an unfortunately lacking drum performance (it’s competent but not much else) and of course, the original voice of Hour of 13, Phil Swanson, doing his tortured old man wail all over it, singing about perversion, the occult, the ancient ones and evil. It’s atmospheric, rifftastic, crushing and an immensely satisfying listen. It’s one of the few long albums (over an hour) that I don’t get bored of. I really recommend it - one of the gems of this millennium when it comes to fairly unknown but incredible doom metal. As I said, the only thing that pulls this down for me is the drum performance but it’s not enough of an issue to keep me from loving this album to pieces. 

[beerswax]

James Squire - Hop Thief...Motörhead - Ace of Spades

First post of 2016. And what else could I post, really? What the fuck else?

Beer first - Mrs Beerswax and I hosted a rather quiet NYE gathering at our place, and someone very kindly left this James Squire Hop Thief in my fridge. Well, possession being 9/10s of the law and all that, I am now drinking it. I’ve never tried this Squire contribution before but I’ve heard good things. And being a hophead, as well as the promising labelling (”not for the faint of heart” it proudly proclaims), I was expecting (well, more hoping) that the hops would smack me in the nose, face, tastebuds and then to pound my bladder on the way out, maybe planting a metaphorical fist in my goolies as it did so. But of course, it didn’t. This is a fairly typical-tasting American-style pale ale. Definitely nice, and probably the nicest of the James Squire beers I’ve had. A solid pale that I’ll no doubt revisit. But if you’re gonna call your beer “hop thief”, fellas, make me believe that you actually stole a shitload of hops for it.

And of course, the record. Motörhead. Vale Motörhead. The greatest fucking rock n’ roll band ever. I am writing this with a heavy heart, a defiant tear welling in my eye (yes, even days after hearing the news) and my beard now fashioned into a Lemmy-esque shape in tribute for...well, the forseeable future. Much to Mrs Beerswax’s dismay. And I could post no other album, really, than Ace of Spades. Like all Motörhead albums, really, it’s filled to the brim with fast, dirty rock anthems, celebrating life, sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock n’ fucking roll. Lemmy lived it, was never apologetic or half-arsed about it, and he went out in a blaze of glory at the age of 70. I know all this, and yet I’m still gutted, knowing that the world of music will never be the same. 

Rest in Peace, you utter bloody lunatic. Your legend will live on. Raise your glasses to Ian “Lemmy” Fraser Kilmister, and sink a few (bottles) in his memory.