hi

[things-from-strings]

🕸BEHOLD MY BOY!!!🕸

after who knows how many months of puzzling out the geometry, running out of the right colors, & feeling like i'd NEVER be done making flower motifs, HERE HE IS!! in all his orange glory!!

the cutest, sweetest, most huggable spider in the WORLD!!! ✨️💖🕷💖✨️

his name is Arson 🔥🥰🔥

[childsacrifice]

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

[k-eke]

Do not fear.

[animals-with-fan-art]

Added to the collection by @sir-libearian

[bertopflop]

Love playing dumb at work. Oh, I shouldn't have given that homeless person food? Hmm okay yes explain it to me! Oh then other peope will come and ask for food? Oh no I see now, thank you!

[3liza]

once you reach a certain level of Animal Knowing you become burdened with two absolutely true, completely contradictory facts:

animals are basically the same, a lion is a big kitty

a lion is absolutely not a big kitty, are you fucking stupid?

[hasufin]

Back when I was in high school, volunteering at the zoo, I had this encounter with one of our mountain lions.

Now, I had actually petted the older, calmer female. But this was one of the males - they'd never been even slightly interested in me. But today? He made eye contact with me. He hunkered down. He did the butt waggle like he was going to pounce. Again. And... POUNCE. That cat crossed a good 20 meters in about 3 seconds. He only turned away at the last moment because there was an electrified fence.

He made sure I knew he was there. He wasn't hunting: he was playing. This was exactly like a housecat playing with you.

But, just because he was playing, didn't mean I wouldn't have been dead if he'd actually pounced on me.

They are big kitties. It's just that housecats are small and can't seriously injure you.

[beginning-to-be-happy]

Thank you, that was terrifying

[memorycycle]

genius. it creates energy clones of itself to gather resources, while the main body stays alert and safe. and if i attack, it can simply swap bodies with one of its clones

[fallingtowers]

happy terrible comics day

[viejospellejos]

What the duck?

[humanbeanisnotamused]

[Description: the video is captioned "Find the duck game", and we see several blindfolded women in hijabs groping around an enclosed ring while spectators look on, cheering and laughing . After a few seconds the camera pans so that you can see the duck, who is waddling around, casually yet resolutely resisting capture. Periodically the women collide with each other. They do not find the duck. End ID]

[elvashayam]

#it is a beautiful day in indonesia and you are a terrible duck

tags via @humanbeanisnotamused

[hasufin]

That duck is having the most fun of anyone present.

[klapollo]

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

[klapollo]

Outbreak of diarrhea-causing parasite grows to more than 1,000 cases

Michigan is experiencing its largest outbreak of a parasitic infection that causes severe diarrhea. Nearly 1,000 people have been diagnosed

this is not life-threatening, but also who wants weeks of diarrhea and a fucking parasite in them lol. if you suspect you've already had this and it's passed, i would see a doctor. you might need an antiparasitic anyway. if you're actively sick, see a doctor and they might be able to prescribe medication to help you get over it faster.

try to avoid eating raw vegetables, scrub fruit with a produce brush and rinse thoroughly with water. again, don't bother with premade greens or bagged salads. if you buy lettuce, remove the outer 2-3 layers of leaves.

there are UNVERIFIED rumors that the greens have been linked to a company that sources to taco bell. some locations have been actively pulling fresh ingredients like lettuce, avocado, and pico de gallo to mitigate the threat, so i would avoid any products from them just in case. considering how vast supply chains are, i'd be wary of any fast food greens in general for now.

[lightlyric]

further tips from an immunocompromised person obsessed with food safety:

- wash and then cook your vegetables. air fry, bake, sautee, deep fry, whatever to 165F

- if you really want a salad, get locally farmed veg from the farmers market and wash VERY thoroughly. if the farm has info about their labor practices, even better. workers' safety keeps us safe too

- you can blanch some greens too but this isn't as safe as cooking thoughly

- wash your hands thoroughly before & after prepping raw vegetables

- avoid cross contamination in your kitchen from raw vegetables. act like it's raw chicken

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[sparrownnax]

[copperbadge]

I just received an email from my building management company which opens

On Monday, from 1:30 PM to 1:37 PM, several residents have volunteered to host a brief tutorial in the laundry room for anyone interested in learning more about proper use of the equipment.

That is a leviathan passing beneath the ice of my peaceful fishing hut if ever I saw one.

The passive-aggressive nature of declaring it will take only seven minutes, but precisely seven minutes, for people to actually learn how to use the laundry room is amazing (I'm figuring five minutes to present and two minutes for questions).

The sad thing is, I've lived here long enough to know this informative presentation is absolutely necessary.

[humoristics]

[beginning-to-be-happy]

When you're single and work from home, there are endless possibilities of things to fill your time! Like scrolling on tumblr on your back porch, then your front porch, then your couch, then your bed.

Then to spice it up, sometimes you switch from Tumblr to your text messages. No new messages but maybe there will be soon

[mutationgirl]

you are just cranky because i took something imperceptible from you and you cannot recall it in its absence but you feel the edges of it anyway

[couchnapping]

my nose!

[cookiethebirddoll]

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

A Horse power being only 735 watt is honestly so weird like that's not even enough to run a modern game on decent seatings

[pseudomasochist]

You wanna know what's fucked?

Your brain is a 25-watt computer.

Brain is 25% of your energy consumption, you burn about 100 watts of power (about 100 joules per second). You're a 25-watt computer.

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

I don't like that fact

[pseudomasochist]

No but for real. Your brain is one of the most advanced machines known to exist. It's a computer capable of running a sapient intelligence on - and I cannot stress this enough - 25 watts of broccoli and stew. What the fuck.

[werewolf-transgenderism]

this is fucking killing me bro. computah, show me more hot hockey firefighters whaling on cops