What am I hyperfixating on now?

Just here to annoy the shit out of @karlachslove https://www.threadless.com/@BetterNameCame

[betternamenot2come]

Me, after watching Resident Evil 9 playthroughs and playing RE2

[sabotage-on-mercury]

From Shane's day one with the Centaurs he is just in for the bit when it comes to Ilya's antics and he is Ilya's biggest enabler.

Admittedly, Ilya was a bit worried before that first day, thinking off all the silly stories he made up for his team just funsies and how Shane is actually the only one who knows him so well that he could read Ilya for filth and expose it all. Shane is funny, his chirps are deadly, but how far is he willing to go along with Ilya's bullshittery?

Turns out, very far. Til the end of the world, probably.

Luca immediately asks Shane if it's true that Ilya is a descendent of the Romanov family? Yes, Shane answers without batting an eye, Ilya is royalty, technically, and through their marriage, he is as well.

Did Ilya really have to fight a bear in the Siberian winter when he was just 14 years old, Bood asks. Oh, totally, and afterwards, he still had to walk through one-metre-high snow for ten kilometres to get to school, Shane answers conversationally, absolutely impressive isn't it? (Shane has to raise his eyebrow at his purebred city boy of a husband afterwards).

Holmberg asks if Ilya really got invited to a friendly race against a few F1 drivers in Monaco and actually won? Yeah, beat Lewis Hamilton, Shane answers with a feigned eye roll. By 0.35 seconds, Shane and Ilya answer in unison, and Ilya winks at Shane.

But Ilya doesn't really have contacts with the Bratva, does he, Dillion asks, obviously slightly terrified. Shane shrugs and is like, yeah, well I can't tell to which extent, but I mean it was an open secret that Rozanov gave out season tickets to his special friends, if you know what I mean. And I know you had this rookie in Boston, Ilya, what was his name, I don't know, the lame one? Yeah, Miller, right, couldn't keep up with the speed on the wing. He disappeared, must be 8 years ago now? Can't find any trace of him, anywhere. Of course it's only rumours but...

This will be the best seaon ever, Ilya decided then and there. Playing with his husband/hockey king/best friend/soulmate is already a dream coming true. But honest, earnest Shane, with his deadpan expression and good boy reputation will make the perfect partner in crime.

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[betternamenot2come]

This is my problem with the Netflix account sharing. The reason I got the Premium subscription was so I could watch at multiple houses (mine and my grandparents) and that was the attraction to it at the time. Now I have to pay an additional what $20 a month to watch at two different locations? Absolutely not. I will be doing the stupid link thing to “watch temporarily”

[hollanovarchive]

Please! Im begging you!! Stop posting new fic suggestions! I have so many unread fics already!!!!

(But like, dont actually stop)

LISTEN !!! speak to my followers lol !! I’m getting like 10-20 messages a day about fic recs 😂😂😂😂 && for some reason, I keep making them lmao !!!

[betternamenot2come]

This is why it’s taking me so long to find that fic I’ve been looking for

[notahorseindisguise]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[mysticorset]

Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids

[notahorseindisguise]

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

[hiveswap]

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

[midnight-revolucion]

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

[notahorseindisguise]

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

[marlinspirkhall]

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

[honeyfaer]

"theyll hate you for this" "but theyll be alive" is THE juiciest thing to me

[honeyfaer]

i will ensure you stay alive above all else. even if what i do to make it happen is horrendous. even if it violates all your wishes or moral principles. even if you can never look at me the same way again, even if you hate me for it. because at least if you hate me it means youre alive

[stark-phd]

(tags via @annthonystark)

[cygnahime]

Hanahaki disease is a psychosomatic illness. It's a thing that your body does in response to stress over constantly repressing/concealing your feelings in settings with high background magic. It's like you've been ignoring pain for a long time and suddenly your vision starts going dark, because your affected body is just YANKING on random alerts trying to get you to PAY ATTENTION there is a PROBLEM. Yes the flowers do really exist. So do non-magical psychosomatic symptoms. The flowers aren't special.

This does of course open up the trope to options for non-romantic concealed feelings. Which I think is great. There is something viscerally satisfying about the person who seems so outwardly chipper coughing and hacking and spitting up Depression Flowers so now everyone has to know they're hurting. Isn't there?

[specificwatcher]

Hanahaki, but it's a child that feels neglected by their parents.

Hanahaki, but it's someone whose friends have started ghosting them.

Hanahaki, someone's wife is cheating on them.

Hanahaki, the disease that gives you three options: confront your feelings, destroy the love you hold for someone or perish choking on roses.

[betternamenot2come]

Still mad about the lack of platonic Hanahaki fics in HTTYD and PJO fandoms

[luna-azzurra]

Something neuroscience-y that helps with prose: attention is selective. A character will not notice everything in a room. They will notice what matters to their goal, fear, desire, training, wound, or obsession. A jealous character notices hands. a hungry character notices food. A soldier notices exits. A lonely character notices pairs. Description becomes character when attention has a bias.

[exhuastedpigeon]

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

[betternamenot2come]

Me, convincing my IRL friends and coworkers to read fanfic by compiling lists for them

[longnuts]

Does anyone know what to do

[princecarlton]

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[betternamenot2come]

In case you wondered, when you interview to work third shift at a Waffle House, they do ask if you can fight are prepared to handle yourself if things get too rowdy.

[hollanovarchive]

Do you know of any good sugar daddy fics? Or like where one of them is really rich and spoils the other one?

I got a few below (: Hope you enjoy!

Sugar Daddy AU

🏒 cause it's me who's getting paid, and it's me who's getting laid | 1.4k

Ilya glared, blood boiling under the surface. “Next time,” he growled, voice low and threatening, “do not test me before giving your card."

🏒 Give Me Some Sugar | 2.5k

Shane Hollander, college student, meets Ilya Rozanov fromer hockey player… and Ilya wants him immediately. He wants to spoil him, touch him, love him

🏒 Diamond Cut | 4.0k

Ilya gives Shane a gift. Shane has a sneaking suspicion it cost more money than Ilya is letting on

🏒 The Shape of Trust | 4.6k

AU where Ilya is Shane’s Sugar Daddy/Dom and Shane gets in trouble.

🏒 every part of you is all mine | 4.8k

 it's ilya's birthday. shane wants to make sure it's perfect.

🏒 Welcome to the Ritz! | 6.6k

Shane loved his job - especially the part where rich assholes tried to get him fired everyday. Shane's shifts at The Ritz-Carlton, Montréal could be broken down in three parts: 1. Talking to Rose 2. Talking to guests 3. Talking to Rose again because a guest was mad at him This particular day, a new part arrived: 4. Get hit on by a hot Russian

🏒 The Adoring Husband’s Handbook | 7.5k

5 times Ilya Rozanov spoiled Shane Hollander with the Princess Treatment™ he so rightly deserves. As if Ilya could treat his boy any other way.

🏒 Extra Credit | 7.6k

How Shane Hollander acquired a sugar daddy, a crippling nipple play kink, and a permanent blush—all courtesy of Ilya Rozanov

🏒 Any Boy Like You Deserves A Gentleman | 14.4k

nine months into dating the rich, hot, and protective college student Shane, Ilya gets sick. Shane helps out his boyfriend and his daughter

🏒 A Single Dad Who Works Two Jobs | 17.8k

a broke, single girl-dad ilya rozanov goes on a grindr date with one rich shane hollander

🏒 Starry Starry Night | 18.6k

Shane and Rose get accepted to an exclusive establishment known for sugar daddies. A rich, handsome man at the bar named Ilya takes an immediate liking to Shane

🏒 honey bun | 21.4k

lya Rozanov is broke beyond all means and he has control issues, so of course he naturally finds solace in controlling a rich man. Shane Hollander is rich beyond all means and he has control issues, so of course he naturally finds solace in being the controlled rich man.

🏒 so call me your sugar | 21.7k

Shane, an aspiring model, accepts a private contract that brings him to Ilya. The tips are good, but Ilya’s attention lingers longer than it should. And Shane finds himself returning anyway.

🏒 Under Pressure | 31.9k

Shane Hollander is struggling to make ends meet. After his best friend Hayden sets up a dating profile for him on a sugar baby website, he learns that there are some men who will pay for anything - even companionship

🏒 Of Hospitals, Heartaches, and Heathens | 39.1k

The one where Ilya's the heir to a mafia syndicate, Shane really needs to get some sleep, and Hayden is not allowed to share his hats. There's passive-aggressive caretaking, more secrets than necessary, and bickering that can be heard through the walls

🏒 My Daddy, My Lover, My Everything | WIP

Three things Shane Hollander didn't expect today: 1. Posing as a sugar baby to pay off his debts. 2. Sitting at the completely wrong table because of his dyslexia. 3. Ending up having dinner with a golden-haired Greek god named Ilya, having absolutely no clue he's the biggest star in the NHL.

If you have any suggestions, feel free to add (:

Fic Rec Masterpost | Hollanov AU

Check out other AU -> Age Gap AU | Arranged Marriage | BDSM/TPE AU | Bookshop AU | Coffee Shop AU | College AU | CEO AU | Co Workers AU | Dystopian AU | Escort AU | Fake/Pretend Relationship | Famous/Non Famous | Formula 1 AU | Mechanic AU | Medical Professional AU | Mob Boss/Mafia AU | Professor AU | Sugar Daddy AU | Roommates AU | Trans AU

[betternamenot2come]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

This one too

[this-is-fandom-joy]

How to do picture comments on Ao3; a Tutorial

Has a fic ever absolutely devastated you to the point you can’t form a coherent thought? That’s okay! That’s where picture comments come in! Here’s how!

Go to https://postimages.org

Upload your image 

Copy the direct link

paste this text into the comment box <img src="link">

Paste your link onto the quotes 

Post!

The result should look something like this! I recommend saving the text to your notes app so you can copy and paste them

happy commenting!

[penandinkprincess]

I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them

he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"

and ilya

[penandinkprincess]

reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"

and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-

"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"

"what are you talking about?"

shane: "i'm allergic"

"??? since WHEN??"

"since always??"

"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"

"jackie knows"

"WHY DOES JACKIE KNOW AND I DON'T"

[penandinkprincess]

yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"

shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.

[penandinkprincess]

he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"

and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??

[penandinkprincess]

A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.

B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.

C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-

[penandinkprincess]

@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD

@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!

[penandinkprincess]

shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-

oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.

and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.

also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.

[penandinkprincess]

GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-

and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."

[penandinkprincess]

MAN

shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.

but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.

this does, unfortunately, mean that he just develops a habit of just never saying ANYTHING when not directly asked lmao.

[penandinkprincess]

@riddlemaster101

i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail

for everyone else though??? cackling about people who have known him for literally fifteen years finding out about potentially deadly allergies ONLY because ilya is fucking interrogating the waiter at the restaurant. shane of Before just would have probably declined going and used his diet as an excuse because he didn't want to have it be A Whole Thing. now he has a husband to "he said no pickles" his allergies on his behalf, so he's straight chilling. 🤣

[wendydarling95]

Can we also talk about the Yuna and David of it all?

David spots them at the cottage and they go over, Shane's cottage is obviously allergen free and the shopping he did is all safe for him. Yuna and David know to cook safely, the chicken parm is all good and fine but they say "the croutons aren't safe for you, but you don't like those anyway" just in passing as a matter of habit and Ilya who JUST learned about bananas and latex and bees is like "oh wow! More allergies?? I need a list. Haha" and then they have the meal and the panic attack and they become boyfriends. Before they leave Yuna makes him a copy of her list of all the known allergens and Shane's common reactions to them, it's the first time he hugs her. He looks her in the eye and says "thank you for letting me take care of him. I will be careful."

It's a relief, to know he cares to try. But at the end of the day they JUST met this man. So they cross their fingers and try not to feel the same way they did every time Shane went to somebody's house for a birthday party or a sleepover.

And then they are over at the cottage some night and they decide to order in for dinner. Ilya takes everybody's orders and goes to the kitchen to call it in for them and it's taking *forever* so Yuna goes to see if he needs any help. She finds him sitting with two copies of the list, hers and one translated into Russian for his easy reference. He has the phone on speaker and says "thank you for checking the dressing ingredients, I know is weird request, but sometimes Caesar dressing is safe, sometimes not safe, but he likes it so much is worth checking. Yes, I'll hold again."

They've ordered from this place a dozen times, their recipe for Caesar dressing is safe, YUNA knows that, SHANE knows that, that's why he ordered it. But *Ilya* doesn't. So he's checking. Because Shane wants the dressing and Ilya want him *safe* and *happy*. And isn't that all a parent wants? For their kid to be with someone who is just as invested in their happiness and safety as they are? For somebody who will wait on hold while they check the fry oil and the dressing ingredients and whatever else?

Once Ilya has placed the order and hung up he gets surprised by a hug from behind, thin arms wrapped around him and perfume he's starting to recognize. He's bewildered, but when he asks gently "...Mrs. Hollander?" She just tells him to call her Yuna.

[penandinkprincess]

WEEPING

also cackling about the idea of ilya using the group chat with them to be mad about brands changing their ingredients so things that were SAFE are now NOT 😤 it started just as a "hey, those crackers aren't safe anymore" as a collective fyi thing, but it ends up being ilya just mad about safe things not being safe anymore

significantly shane remains SO unbothered about it all

[penandinkprincess]

also EXTREMELY funny to imagine ilya suddenly being strict about allergens in his house with svetlana, who has done body shots off of strangers with this motherfucker who is suddenly?? confiscating her granola bar??? ilya what the actual FUCK is happening right now??? "no peanuts inside anymore" "...what the fuCK ARE YOU TALKI-"

[penandinkprincess]

GOD shane who never really got the experience as a kid of getting to sleep over at someone's house and just Know there would be food for him to eat. he either had to bring his own or ask to read labels because he promised his parents he would, and then sometimes there just. wasn't an option.

and now he gets to go to his boyfriend's house and just know there'll be a cabinet of stuff that's safe for him. doesn't even have to worry about it. this is the Shane Cabinet, and it contains Shane Food. and when there's dinner?? that will also be Shane Food.

he's not the one person left out. not here. <3

[betternamenot2come]

Just the thought of Ilya putting a brand on blast publicly is hilarious to me

[kittleimp]

I need someone to know that I have watched absolutely none of Heated Rivalry and I don't even know how many books there are, but I have read close to 100k words of fanfiction about them already.

[kittleimp]

update: uh oh

[gracieparkerr]

messages peter parker sends to tony stark before leaving him on read

[mcu-fandom]

“At least Tony died before he forgot who Peter was!”

If Tony was alive NOBODY WOULD’VE FORGOTTEN PETER

If Tony was alive, Beck never would’ve been able to trick Peter, and expose his identity which led to the events of No Way Home.

AND THATS WHAT MAKES IT HURT SO MUCH MORE.

If Tony didn’t die, May would still be alive and MJ and Ned would remember him.

Tony died so Peter could live. And yet, his death is what made his life fall apart.