The Zoomful Zoomer

My mind is zoomin, but baby we stay 《Groovin》 (they/them) | 25 | Bi | Transfem! Big video game fan, horror is rad as hell, Femtanyl is my favorite drug, :3

[doffy2]

My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

[doffy2]

[63]

This is one of your worst posts yet man

[textposttropes]

Poverty Food

Visual Innuendo

[doffy2]

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

[septemberequinox]

casual survey: reblog if you want to kiss a girl right now

[aesungaia]

Everyone's Friend

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[orcposts]

TOOLTIP: you can get more funny juice by performing the "jerking off" activity. find it by selecting genitals from your inventory!

[goblinposts]

> use genitals

[orcposts]

You can't use that right now!

[goblinposts]

> use hand on genitals

[orcposts]

You can't use that right now!

[goblinposts]

> use genitals on hand

[orcposts]

You can't use that right now!

[goblinposts]

> help

[orcposts]

I don't know that word.

You are clobbered by the OGRE!

You have lost your genitals. . .

[goblinposts]

man fuck this game

[thestateonmtv]

So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment

[beachdeath]

usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[theconcealedweapon]

[flightyquinn]

Some other bangers;

"Jack of all trades, master of none" ... "but ofttimes better than a master of one."

"Blood is thicker than water." "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb."

"Money is the root of all evil." "The love of money is the root of all evil."

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

there's also "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" which conservatives are oh so fond of saying

bootstraps are, well, straps on your boots. you cannot physically pull yourself up by them, and that's what the original phrase meant. "pulling oneself up by the bootstraps" is meant to be an impossible task

[adorkastock]

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness."

The second part really matters.

[kedreeva]

Some more:

"Birds of a feather flock together- until the cat comes." - The first part gets quoted a lot in a "find your people" kind of way, but the full quote was meant to be a warning about basing relationships on "feathers" (looks, surface details, etc) only.

"Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back." - The first part is often used like a warning against curiosity, but the full quote is meant to encourage it.

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." - The first part is often used to get people to do stuff first/fast/early, but the full saying is meant to impart that sometimes, not being the first can work out better.

"Rome wasn't built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour." - The first part is often quoted in a "cool it/relax/stop" type way, but the full quote is meant to encourage slow and steady progress.

"Great minds think alike, though fools seldom differ." - Just because it's an idea y'both had, doesn't make it a good one.

[howlingday]

Aw, you already said it...

[nosimpincurly]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[catherinebunnington]

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Everyone keep sending your attacks. She can't protect him forever

[eebie]

[undefined333]

special inteview with the coughing baby before they go against the hydrogen bomb on a boxing ring

[eatpussypraylove]

Favorite adderall review

[joebidensbignaturals]

[ralfmaximus]

You have to watch the dosage.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

You have to watch the dosage.

[antlerpunk]

I WISH I WAS A LITTLE BIT BALDER

I WISH I WAS A WALTER

I WISH I HAD A LAWYER NAMED SAUL BETTER CALLER

[f4therlesssss]

fool me once that’s not very nice why would you do that to me

[stealthrockdamage-deactivated20]

i just realized this is funny every month of the year actually

[vi-visected]

i told my dad the joke “dad jokes are just mom jokes that a man repeated louder” and he thought it was hilarious. he turned to my mother, intending to relay the joke to her, and a bare second after he opened his mouth i watched it dawn on his face that he was about to become the subject of the joke. when i tell you that man was slackjawed as he turned back to me, like he had an entire life altering realization in the span of about 20 seconds.

[megabuild]