So as you may know, I’m literally always down for talking about erasermic. You could start me off with one sentence like “do you think Mic ever played d&d” and then two hours later you’ll be begging me to stfu as I passionately rant about how Aizawa would play a paladin. I’ve actually said that before as a joke, but then of course I started thinking about it, and since my life motto is that if I must suffer, all must suffer, I’d like to share my cursed thoughts with all of you.
Mic would be that one asshole who memorizes every single rulebook and uses his forbidden knowledge to entirely derail Tensei Iida’s carefully crafted campaign with his min-maxed, ‘roll to seduce is a valid strategy for every encounter’ bard. Aizawa WOULD play a rogue at first, because that’s the character Tensei made for him, but he doesn’t seem to enjoy the game much, just goes along with it because his friends need another player. UNTIL one day Mic is like “btw Shouta’s rogue died in a mysterious claymore accident, he’s playing a paladin now” and everyone is like “uh, okay” especially Aizawa because he was not consulted. But he LOVES his paladin and makes him uphold his Oath to protect innocent NPCs, even when the rest of the group literally begs him not to.
Mic is the guy who’s like “According to ‘Beyond Damage Dice’ Kayama’s whip can restrain her opponent as PART of her regular attack, NOT in addition. Strength saves” throughout the game. Tensei has tried everything to kill his bard but Mic keeps seducing his way out of trouble and Aizawa keeps healing him. Nemuri finds the whole thing hilarious but Tensei thinks she’s on his side.
Then one day, during the last fight at the end of the campaign, they have to defeat fucking Tiamat. It’s not going great; Mic’s bard is almost dead, Nemuri’s sorcerer is unconscious, so it’s all down to Aizawa. His weapons don’t work on the dragon, and he’s out of spell slots. He and Mic exchange looks. Aizawa knows what he has to do.
Tensei is like “wtf. Charisma is your dump stat. You’re absolutely going to fail.”
Mic interrupts. “Hold on. On my last turn I used a bonus action to give him bardic inspiration. That adds 1d6 to his roll. Kayama, if you give him your inspiration token, he’ll have two tries. He can make it!!!”
“Okay, you know what, fine,” Tensei says, a broken man. “But you have to RP it.”
“RP it. Seduce Tiamat. I wanna see your moves.”
“Fine.” Aizawa leans across the table, too close to Tensei, who immediately regrets every choice he’s ever made that brought him to this place and time. Aizawa smiles, too-wide. It’s terrifying. He should have rolled to intimidate. “Hey…”
The table is silent, until finally Nemuri is like… “it might work on a dragon.”
“Whatever, just roll,” Tensei says, fists clenched in anticipation of murdering all of them.
Aizawa rolls the d6 first and gets a four. “Solid. Good work,” Mic says. “Now you get two tries for the d20. I believe in you, Shouta. I believe you can inspire this dragon’s thirst.” He looks serious. It all hangs on this.
Aizawa rolls: a 7. Not even close. He picks up the dice again, a determined expression on his face. Everyone holds their breath as the dice rolls across the table before landing directly in the center. A. Natural. 20.
The room explodes. Tensei is on the ground pulling his hair because now he has to RP Tiamat enamored with Aizawa’s grumpy paladin. Nemuri is losing her shit. Tears are testing the limits of her waterproof eyeliner. Mic and Aizawa fistbump silently.
“I knew you had it in you, man,” Mic would smirk.
“For the good of the party,” Aizawa would reply.
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