Sometimes Shit Happens

https://linktr.ee/Binacohn

[portalpilled]

[bnq]

um yeah his name was Wheatley

[ana1029]

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

He’s so sqwunched…I love him

[freebee303]

Okay I love looking through the wikis because I get certain information like this gem:

Bifur, Bofur and Bombur were Thorin’s Honour Guards.

Examples included Thorin showing up on Bilbos doorstep with (and getting crushed by) Bifur, Bofur and Bombur. And in the flaming pinecone scene they followed Thorin up the same tree to protect him.

Now this also makes sense in the movies mostly with how Bifur is seen helping Fili on his horse and other instances with the three, BUT MOST OF ALL MY FAVOURITE IDEA COMING FROM THIS!!!

Bofur was assigned to Bilbo by Thorin.

And yes I firmly believe in Bofur thinking Thorin’s a massive dick for how he treats Bilbo but he definitely shipped them from the moment Thorin ordered him to look out for Bilbo. Also explains why Bofurs always goin “WHERES BILBO MY BOSS IS GONNA FUCKIN KILL ME!”

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

Holy shit. This makes too much sense!

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

I am never reminded more of why I’m a musician than when I’m sick as hell and singing to myself in my dark ass bedroom.

[maribat-calendar-events]

Maribat Fic Recs!

Here is a link to the submission form!

Anonymous recommendations:

i don't need to see to find you by assassinscred and bloodhungrywolfpack ( @bloodhungrywolfpack )

classic betrothed a u but with a twist

Tiny Tim by LeoLeonte

I go back to this fic all the time. It's iconic.

The string that binds us by FaithAndATypeWriter

The way the author characterizes Marinette and Damian in particular is so beautiful, its one of my favorites.

League of Losers: Adventures of Catgirl and Duskwing by GummyLover15 ( @gummylover15 )

I was hooked from the first sentence of the summary and binged it all in less than two days

gotham mouse paris bug izzybelledot ( @izzybellepenguin )

lovely beautiful and satisfying to read

the reports asociated with my existence have been significantly misconstrued by davidstennant

one of those fan fics i wish i could read for the first time again

A bond formed through trauma by Totally_no_one_like_me ( @totally-no-one-like-me )

I like the way Marinette acts in this fic and how Chloe realises her mistake and apologises.

Protection Detail by FairyChix26 ( @the-alice-of-hearts )

It’s a really fun fluff read. Kinda a modern day Knight fic. Very sweet and fun to reread

Maybe I’m by your side in another life by ScarletImpulse ( @ringleaderscarletshadow )

Loving this fic is as easy as breathing. It’s fun and has love in every word written.

Truth and Consequences series by mochegato ( @mochegato )

I'm sure I've already recommended this before. I don't care. I'm doing it again.

Broken Harmony - dessarious

talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, etc

Non-Anon recommendations:

otome_wandering recommends In an Apron by dreamsof_moonlight

I fell in love with this (and its series) because the idea of Damian being complete affected by the idea of a girlfriend being *home* and wanting to be taken care of just because he saw Marinette in an Apron made me absolutely weak

otome_wandering recommends Teleporting Into Your Life by Izanae ( @izanae )

Literally one of the only Bio-fam Bruce fics I actually reread. So we'll written and I love them all being so protective of Mari as well as the trauma comfort. Also the background Jonette is ADORABLE

otome_wandering recommends Joint Filing Status by ew_selfish_art ( @ew-selfish-art )

I'm a sucker for unintentional marriage and the way they get competitive over it leaves me kicking and screaming.

iffy recommends Canary by oliviaandersonisntmyrealnamelol ( @olivia-anderson-fanfic )

I read Canary while white knuckling stopping antidepressants cold turkey and it made me feel something.

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

You reccomended my fic 🥹🥹🥺🥺

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

I keep having this discussion with people when they say they use Ai and they find out that I don’t.

Ai is only useful is the robot is better at googling information than you are. If you’re dumb Ai is really helpful because it answers questions you don’t know how to ask.

But if you’re smart, Ai is at a point where I spend more time correcting and fact checking what it spits out than it would take me to do it myself. It doesn’t have better grammar than me. It doesn’t have better research skills than me. It doesn’t have better organizational skills than me.

Every single piece of incorrect information that shows up in its answer also throws into doubt every correct piece of information.

I have no trust because it has done nothing to prove that it’s trustworthy. So if my paper isn’t formatted exactly perfectly or my fanfiction switches weirdly from present to past tense, guess what? That’s the beauty of being human.

We don’t learn how to do better if we let a machine do everything for us.

Just as many have lost the skills to make their own clothing or grow their own crops, so too will we lose the ability to develop our own thoughts.

Even if those thoughts are “cringe” or “brain rot” they are the foundation of community.

[all-things-hobbit]

This is a gift for @bloodhungrywolfpack eat it and be happy. I put off studying for this lol

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

AAAAAAHHHHHHH.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH. Prince of Egypt hitting me right in the feels. And I perish.

[callmebliss]

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

[callmebliss]

@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!

It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth

[breelandwalker]

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

[traegorn]

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

[breelandwalker]

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

[dandelion-witch]

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

[breelandwalker]

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

[tribblesandtribulations]

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

[breelandwalker]

[moiracolleenodell]

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

[amastodonofconflict]

[phizgigz]

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

[olliums]

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

[aniseandspearmint]

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

[oft-goes-awry]

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

[somethinginterestingithink]

@oft-goes-awry

what the actual fuck?

[oft-goes-awry]

@somethinginterestingithink

Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:

For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.

For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.

In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)

Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.

Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.

[justgot1]

American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.

(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)

[strid3rofthen0rth]

I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.

One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.

[arianrhodsgarden]

Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!

[callmebliss]

Oh my ZOD I love that

[astrid4189]

my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.

we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.

[annleckie]

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

[penandinkprincess]

how is the traditional Festive Jiggly Log served in your family?

sliced completely before being brought to the table

a few slices for presentation and the rest left untouched until sliced as-needed

whole and unadulterated in its ribbed glory

i'm not american, and wtf are y'all doing over there

i'm not american, and i am seething with envy that i cannot also enjoy Cran Tube

Voting ended onNov 11, 2024

[pleasebreedavila]

do you eat your cranberry sauce with or without the shell

with, the free range metal is delicious

what the fuck

Voting ended onNov 9, 2024

[the-new-england-gentleman]

Things are heating up in the superlative canned goo fandom

[callmebliss]

According to some of the commentary here and there in the notes, heating up is exactly what is supposed to have happened to the canned goo before it reaches the table, causing it to transmogrify from shaped gel into fluid sauce

[the-choir-invisible]

OK but heated cranberry jelly? I need to try this. Now to find a thanksgiving dinner to invite myself to

[cargopockethobbitcore]

Y'all are not ready for my cranberry wine. No, shut up.

3 lbs of cranberries, 2 lbs sugar, 1 lb honey. 2 oranges. Zest one orange, and then juice both. Crush/blend the cranberries, add honey and sugar, add water to make a touch over one gallon. Heat not to boiling but until easily mixed. Carefully scoop off and discard any of the honey residue that forms.

Cool to 85 degrees. If you can stick a finger in and it feels just a little cool, you're good. Add orange juice and zest.

Transfer to cleaned brew bucket. Add a good dependable wine yeast (something able to tolerate rougher conditions with fewer esters is best), a tsp of pectic enzyme, and any yeast energizer/nutrients you need to per the bottle.

Mix that shit. Like put a paint mixer on the end of a drill and go to town.

Seal and lock. Leave in a good temp for the yeast (probably 68ish degrees, but check your label). Once the lock shows bubbles, carefully open the top and break up the cap on top. You should see a lot of bubbles come out. Do not stir! Just gently push the cap down so the yeast doesn't get stressed by the CO2. Reseal the brew bucket. Do this once every couple days until bubbles stop.

Transfer to secondary to finish, then bottle after a month in secondary. Let the bottles sit for 6 months.

Serve slightly chilled with citrus fruit and dark chocolate. It will be slightly tart with a very sweet undertone, and probably 12-14% alcohol. Take a bite of the chocolate, sip the wine, and then take another bite of chocolate.

You can thank me later.

[ruffboi-mags]

anyway I'm american and have literally never had goo can cranberry sauce, it's SUPPOSED to look like this:

You serve it with a spoon.

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

BLASPHEMER!!!!!!!

[chaosaroundthedoctor]

im losing my mind trying to find the post where it was like “man ive seen a number fics where bilbo literally whacks thorin with the arkenstone to cure his dragon sickness” and then it a a picture below of bilbo abt to fucking wreck thorin with the stone

pls if anyone finds link it or send it to me pls

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

Have and enjoy.

[lao-pendragon]

Emrys the Druid Leader After lifting the ban on magic for his sister Morgana, Arthur invited the Druids to sign the peace treaty. Druid leader Emrys does not seem to be what Morgana and Sir Leon had imagined, but he seems to be exactly what the King likes.

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

Morgana looks so perplexed

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

Got my COVID booster and I can either taste my immune system or my spinal fluid and everything hurts too much for me to care which

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

I am incredibly respectful towards my teachers

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

Just thinking about the daughter of Medusa and Rapunzel having boa constrictors coming out of her head

[sunfortune]

it is december of the year 2020

[dustail]

It is December of the year 2021

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

You gotta rearrange the room so it feels like a different way and you can stare at the ceiling from a different angle.

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

I was trying to explain to a non-binary person how I relate more to the term class-gender because I just don’t associate with gender. But it’s in such a different way than being outside gender like a non-binary person.

So I explained to them how I often have issues with Miss-gendering people. This comes from me not really perceiving gender. I could see that they were trying to listen and not judge but on the inside they prolly thought I was just being trans-phobic.

So I took a step back and tried to re-explain. I clarified, I don’t just miss-gender trans and non-binary people. I miss-gender EVERYONE. Being cis or heavily presenting towards a side of a spectrum does not save you from my dumb ass. If I can’t get the names right of people I’ve known literally my whole life, how am I going to remember a dumb little referable prefixory bullshit word.

All people are equally without gender in my eyes. All I see are silhouettes and my favorite one is Doritos chips.

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

Hc that Bruce is either so tired or his Brucie persona is so much of himbo that his keys regularly get locked in the car. But he is already too embarrassed to ask any of his kids to help so he just turns to the closest people on the side walk and tells them that whoever can get his car door open without breaking anything will get $10,000.

Because it’s Gotham and it’s one of Bruce’s normal cars, someone has the door open within a couple minutes. This becomes a common enough occurrence that if people see him out, they will wait by his car to see if he got locked out. They won’t break open the car until he gets there because one guy made that mistake and got arrested instead of paid.

Various members of the batfam have caught college students practicing picking the locks on their own cars so they are ready when they spot a very tired Bruce. Jason gives them lessons on how to open different types of locks.

No one ever really questions that Bruce Wayne is more consistent in carrying around his check book than his keys.

This trend also solidifies the denial that Bruce Wayne is Batman, because seriously? It would be impossible for the Bat to get locked out of his own car so many times. A few of the times it wasn’t even locked, he just wasn’t pulling the Handle correctly.

[adazzlingsakura]

Alfred Pennyworth is the literal definition of the meme "Call for an ambulance! But not for me!"

Image Source: The Batman's Grave #10

[bloodhungrywolfpack]

oh alfred you fun fuck