[tigth]

i just woke up and you’re telling me i didn’t hallucinate sam campbell and david mitchell lady and the tramp-ing an eclair in the last one laughing 2 final

also: this banana.

[monstermonger]

He's worried about stepping on flowers. He loves nature.

[animentality]

[headspace-hotel]

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice

[dracula1992soundtrack]

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

[redfagdiver]

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

[probuccalfat]

you can go back to the past but nobody’s there

[dotty-literati]

A Cook's Tour (2001) by Anthony Bourdain

[commoncoot]

i need to quit my job so i can sleep for 16 hours a day

[gonzos-humansona]

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

[theweight]

*grasping at straws* My straws!

[wordfather]

the only way out is through but fuuuuuuuuuck fuuuuucckkkk cant i like scooch past or something

[grimalditeuthis]

what they don't tell you about hadestown is that orpheus and eurydice are not the main characters. neither are persephone and hades. or hermes. or the fates. the main character is whoever in the band is playing the trombone because holy fuck

[echoingvoids]

I made a thing

[hann4hkur]

my new comb

[hillerska-official]

Very hard to scroll tumblr on the bus in the current fandom climate (the hockey players are sucking each others dicks every other post)

[duckdotcom]

*experiences joint pain* we are losing the skeleton war

[sillyguyhotline]

fool me once shame on you fool me twice blinding stew

[etsahc]