"hi tofu" is so fucking funny probably one of my favorite moments on the podcast like it did not cross his mind that tofu could be anything but a nonbinary phannie
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@bright-warrior
"hi tofu" is so fucking funny probably one of my favorite moments on the podcast like it did not cross his mind that tofu could be anything but a nonbinary phannie
The next episode of Hard Launch:
my friend's discord server has a "proof of touch grass" channel where they post pics of them doing regular activities outdoors/in public. i think many online spaces could benefit from such a thing
when i was super depressed - like struggling to eat anything barely able to get out of bed to pee depressed - my good friend asked me every day to send her a picture of me holding a leaf and a picture of a meal i was eating and it helped me significantly
(also, she was never judgey - if my meal was a single potato chip she would simply say good job eating a potato chip today <3 )
which is to say, i agree proof of touch grass is a good idea for online spaces
This kinda required my brain a bit
everyone's "well-adjusted" and "mentally healthy" until the "sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all" part of Bohemian Rhapsody comes on
“If I Am Killed For Simply Living” — Althea Davis
don’t like it when I’m about to board a plane to America and discover it just came from there not one hour ago and is getting sent straight back, like please put this girl in the stables and give her some oats, rub her coat till it shines, she’s earned a rest
Also there's the fact that having just escaped America, she has to return to America.
Me after reading 120 pages of Dungeon Crawler Carl in one night: oh boy, this is going to become a hyperfixation so fast
After realizing it has 7 books and counting and getting a TV show: OH. OH NO. WHAT HAVE I DONE. MY BRAIN HAS ALREADY LATCHED ON
Dungeon Crawler Carl really came out here and said the human race can out-stubborn fucking anything, asks what survival is and what you're willing to do for it, and how you carry the weight. that capitalism is violence, and that it breeds violence. that we need to hold each close and do what we can to help when we can, because what else is there?
....it also made me read the word nussy in a context where it makes sense.
dungeon crawler carl is fun because you go into it thinking it'll be an unserious, fun and gratuitously violent action book, and then you get to the very first boss, and then you think, now hold on. Hold on. And then all of a sudden you're seven books deep and insane and also holding on to the indomitable human spirit for dear life and also a crab has to jack off. like holy shit dude. i've got relentless hope and found family in one hand and the world's weirdest foot fetish in the other
I made you short?
you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro
if u ever think ur being overly petty and bitter just remember there once was a portuguese prince whose dad assassinated the woman he loved & when he became king he literally had her body exhumed & placed upon the throne as his queen & forced the portuguese nobility (aka most of his father’s supporters) to pledge their alliance to her & kiss the hem of her clothes so that they would “render her when dead that homage which she had not received in her life” (x)
WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN GET THESE STORIES FROM???! DO YOU LIKE MAKE THEM UP OR SMTH??!
yeah… or i’m portuguese and know my history
okay so like, this is one of my favorite parts of Portuguese history
and it’s not because I have the same name as her or anything (even tho it’s definitely a factor - because how cool is that?!? - and I kinda used - and sometimes still use, let’s be real here - that as an excuse to call myself a queen because reASONS and shut up you would do the same)
but because that shit is like the stuff of legends and there is a whole myth surrounding their love story and the supposed place where she was killed - on the king’s orders near a fountain in the farm where she secretly lived with prince Pedro - because there’s a red stain there and it’s said that when she was stabbed she cried for the king’s men to spare her children (if memory serves me right) and her tears landed on the fountain and turned red because she was terribly devastated and in pain thinking only of her children and how she was going to leave them without a mother when in the last moments of her life…
and also, you know that prince? before he did that thing when he exhumed her just to make her ~officially~ his queen - and have everyone who ever opposed to them and their love kiss her clothes to pay her homage and the respect she did not have in life?? like that shit savage bro - he did another thing, even more savage than that
he searched the whole country for the two dudes who stabbed her (there was a third but I think he died or smth), even went to spain because one of them fled the country after the king died, and he fucking RIPPED their hearts out (one from the front and one from the back, because Inês was stabbed from both sides too) and tortured them in public, y'know, as you do
and that, my dear friends, is why the story of Pedro and Inês is considered one of the best love stories on our country (and I would say the world too because that shit better than anything Shakespeare or Nicholas Sparks ever wrote and it was fucking real)
my boy Pedro didn’t fuck around when you fucked with his lady, and you lyin’ if you say you don’t want you a freak like this - this Extra™, this ride or die, this savage - when it comes to love.
listen up, girls and boys, take note: follow their example and get yourselves a freak who would crown you queen after you were killed
TL;DR: basically Portuguese history has the best love story in the world and its the most savage thing you could imagine. go look it up - the story of Pedro and Inês. *mic drop*
Reblogging to add even more awesome contest to a previous reblog
People thinking this is fake is genuinely why I insist there is more history outside BBC shows about the Tudors. Yall are missing on some prime telenovela shit here on the little iberian peninsula
my brain has subconciously decided that tiktok is “unhealthy” but tumblr is “healthy” which i dont think is entirely true but i kind of like the idea.
kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc
hobbies should not take up this much space. there ought to be a hobby pocket dimension, where I am able to store everything I need in a breadbox that weighs no more than my cat.
u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then
btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.