If you think about it earthquakes are tectonic plates frotting and the lava coming out of the volcanos is cum
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@bweester
If you think about it earthquakes are tectonic plates frotting and the lava coming out of the volcanos is cum
he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain
*throws ibuprofen on the ground and watches the aging tumblr populous peck at them like chickens*
sharks every time theres a cataclysmic extinction event: damn thats crazy. anyway
Good thing I’m so smooth
Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated
Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-
Me: he needs to be sedated
Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-
Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off
Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate
Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him
Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him
Me:
A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file
Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:
Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears
Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night
Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning
Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels
Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash
Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4
Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack
Tricked me into loving him forever anyway
Ripped an escape hole
in the patio screen door
in a single night
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!
the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend
eepy vibes 😴
It is hard to understand these things with an IQ of 3
Wait'll she hears about phone books.
this is like cocomelon to me
me: wtf, if you have 8 kids you should absolutely be engaged enough to give them all separate rooms, or at the very least try! honestly, if you thi-
*heaven tiger*
me: ….ah. okay
tag yourself, am spart
My friends and I love this video so I made some Fanart and did little redraws of all the cats and presumably what they say. Still love Spart
the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.
when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right
that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?
had to draw it
a few people pointed out that they probably wouldn’t understand what they were saying and just mimicking whatever sounds they happen to hear so I wanted to add this
“you support gay rights so you must be gay”
i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you
turns out i am gay
holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type
Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!