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[walmart-the-official]

Hey, don’t cry. Free online database of Japanese folk lore

[bleu-guacamole]

Might I add, free database of mostly European folklore and myths

[bogleech]

A Book of Creatures by @a-book-of-creatures doesn't update these days but is another thing along these lines, really huge, fully illustrated all by the author and cites all sources

[mylordshesacactus]

For all that the 1800s etiquette guides are--obviously--derangedly sexist from a modern perspective? They're also mindblowing in how casually they will assert things that MODERN DAY CONSERVATIVES would scream and cry and shit their pants about.

"People back then always married young it's natural!!!" Every single 1800s guide I've ever met casually mentions that, of course, you really shouldn't get married before you're at least 20, and waiting until 25 is usually better.

Or, like. Okay here's a long segment:

Just firmly going "it is crazy sexist to blame The Wife for overspending when thirty seconds of asking questions will immediately establish that her husband was outright lying to her about how much money they had. Talk to your wife like a normal person."

Or--okay, here. A section on being honest and not writing love letters in secret, because that's usually a good sign that there's something untoward going on....

....except that he then immediately acknowledges that sometimes, the reason you're hiding this from your parents is that your parents suck. That there are parents who frankly have not earned the right to approve or disapprove of your partner.

(I realize the phrasing there sounds a lot less strong than my summary, but--trust me on this. When you're familiar with the narrative voice of these kinds of books, this passage is downright radical. The mere acknowledgement that if you treat your kids badly, it's your own damn fault when they don't talk to you? I've genuinely never seen that before in this genre. Don't freak out over "properly trained", either. It's just a linguistic shift--at the time, "training" was used the way we would say "raising" a child today. )

[ca55x1nyu]

good for writing with later, tyy

[galileosballs]

Also, please do not listen to how people talk about cover letters on this site. Cover letters are important, and in many industries you can be damn sure they'll be read. And no, they're not 'fanfic about working in your office', or just re-stating the resume contents in a fancier guise. If you treat them like that, then of course they're not doing much for you. That makes you sound like a syncophantic windbag, and it's not doing anything else to help.

I was trained in the dark arts of the cover letter by my mother, who is a hiring manager. And her training has paid off: I've been consistently told my cover letters are excellent. Let me pass on the wisdom.

The job of a cover letter is to give a prospective employer strictly more information than is on the resume. This is where you take the resume contents and put them into context. You look at the job requirements (you are looking at the job requirements before applying, right?) and look at your resume and ask the question (in your head) "why would a person think this candidate would be good for this job?" and your cover letter is the answer to that question. If you don't answer that question, the hiring manager is going to have to do it themselves, and you have way more information to work with than they do.

This is especially important if you're moving from one industry to another, because then the relevant connections aren't obvious. It's also very important if you're overqualified, because then you can use the letter to say "I know it looks like this job would be too entry-level for me, but I'm interested to pursue it for reasons x, y, and z". You can also use this space to explain away something that might otherwise be disqualifying, like job-hopping or a long break in employment. The tone to strike here is always matter-of-fact and constrained to topic - don't go into detail about health stuff or personal tragedy, just tell them what they need to hear: that this period of your resume was affected by [bad thing] but that it's now in the past and you're looking forward to the next chapter. Remember, one of the things they're trying to learn is whether you'd be content in this role, or whether you'd be miserable and leave after 2 months, which would force them to do all the work of hiring again. You're trying to establish that you will fit right in and not cause problems. Knowing what drew you to this job in particular (and don't just say 'money', that's true for everyone) helps with that.

And the other mistake? Everyone writes cover letters that are too long. One page is fine. Two is the absolute maximum, and that's if you have a lot of specific things to say. It's a waste of your time and theirs to pad it out with fluff. Of my two most recent successful cover letters (i.e. jobs for which I was interviewed) one was 390 words and the other was 550. That's the length of this post. How long did it take me to write this post? About 15 minutes to write, 5 to proof and edit. That's how long you should be spending on a cover letter, maximum.

[thestuffedalligator]

I’ve been tinkering with the idea of an urban fantasy “All Fairy Tales Are True” setting where some fairy tale characters are mortals who reincarnate and live through their story again and again with no memory of their past lives, but other characters are immortal, carrying over biases and grudges and regrets from the last time they went through this.

Snow White’s dwarves keep her room exactly as she left it, and keep a wary eye on the horizon for the day she returns. When she does they treat her like a beloved daughter come home, cook her favourite meals, warn her to stay away from apples this time, and keep calling her the wrong name.

Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother found her a touch ungrateful last time, and has decided not to appear to her this time around to teach her a lesson in gratitude. This Cinderella, without the memory of the last time, is still a terrified, miserable woman desperate to escape her awful situation.

The Witch in the gingerbread house has developed a thousand traps to eat those goddamned kids. She’s failed every time. She lives a life of Sisyphean torment previously known only to cartoon coyotes.

[canvaswolfdoll]

i dunno, i think that cinderella example discounts the power of narrative inevitability.

sure, the fairy godmother isn't going to help. but someone takes notice of poor cinderella and lends a hand. and when the replacement godmother hits a snag, or can't quite find a way over a hurdle, they suddenly find reality... shifts a little, bends to their will. by the time of the wedding, there's a new immortal being in the world.

the former godmother notices her power wane. her ageless visage wrinkles. and resent grows. jealousy takes root. this isn't meant to happen to her! she was meant to be immortal. and then there's that dang snow white (or whatever she's calling herself now) over there, flaunting her beauty...

sometimes, after a few rounds, the evil queen doesn't bother to change back. settles down. starts baking.

all the while, a generations old cabal of dramaturges have been experimenting with what changes can be made. a pear or other non-stone fruit can be used for snow white (speculations abound about the prohibition on stone fruits,); cinderella does require specifically glass slippers; little red riding hood can get very abstract.

the more obscure stories are a source of much debate. does 'the girl with silver hands' still occur with modern hand prosthetics? what does one need to activate 'the devil's grandmother'?

surprising is how one hans christen anderson has caused the advent of new stories to track, and is responsible for an uptick in swan-induced injuries of academics attempting to move eggs between nests.

[ca55x1nyu]

Lohen = Bunny

I guess I can see it, there's that movie with the Knights who Say 'Ni', forgot the name, but they have a killer bunny/rabbit.

[qinnyanimation]

Young Tf!Majorscythe from back at Tegrith

And the extra bits for them in the present

[bewaredakotaflare]

[altocat]

Been a while since we had a poll lol

If Sephiroth could choose his dad of the (many) candidates, he'd pick...

Hojo (Combination of obligation, Stockholm Syndrome, and learned helpless)

Glenn (Related to him the best and wasn't afraid to hug him)

Gast (First potential father figure, likely was the "nice" scientist parent)

Vincent (Cool guy who loved his mom. Also has a gun.)

Grimoire (Another cool guy who loved his mom. Vincent without the edginess)

Angeal (Gives off MANY a kind of "Dad vibe" amirite 😏😏😏)

Jenova (Because Jenova is technically his dad too ig)

Lazard (AKA the only one who could have rationally talked him out of arson)

Choose your own (comment/reblog)

Voting ended onApr 25

[ca55x1nyu]

I think Sephiroth would reject having a dad, father, pater, vati, etc any version of a male parent due to bad experiences and see about getting two moms instead.

[idontcaboose]

The Tragedy of Party Crashers part 1

Masterpost

"Damian, what the hell is this?" Dick asked as he picked up a small pile of paper from the coffee table.

"My group history project."

"Ok, but why a script?" Dick asked while looking critically over the four kids in the main sitting room.

"The history teacher is making a pass at the filmography teacher." Damian huffed.

"Ya, so now we get to impress the recently divorced film teacher for our history teacher and hopefully get him laid so he can get that stick out of his- " Mystery boy number 1 helpfully supplied.

"OK! I do not want to hear about teacher situationships. But why film here?"

"The thought process was that y'all get your galas interrupted, so what better venue than one of the actual venues?" The mystery girl of the group shrugged.

Dick looked hard at the only girl in the group. Honestly it was hard to tell the three other kids apart. They were obviously triplets. Two boys and one girl, if they all dressed in the same clothes, he would probably have a hard time telling them apart.

"Okaaaayyyy, but why a tragic comedy?"

"Because dark humor is best humor." Mystery boy number 2 deadpanned.

Dick stared as all four kids nodded in agreement.

"Ok, classmates of Dami, could I have your names?" Dick finally asked.

"Have, no, I quite like my name. But you may call us Danny, Dani, and Dan." Danny said, embellishing the introduction with full hand gestures as he said his siblings names.

And there Dick had his answer as to who came up with a comedic tragedy involving the Waynes, the Bat Family, and the gruesome end to the Joker by….. choking on his own spit mid monolog…. Or by banana peel….. or by rotten tomato….

Or Brucie drowning him in a toilet…..

Dick set down the paper and slowly backed out of the room, softly closing the door with a click.

What the Fuck is wrong with these kids?!

Next?

[hell2theyeah]

Dick: "that... can't be right, did their parents actually name them like that?"

Damian: "No, those are not their names."

Dick: "Oh thank god"

"Their names are Daniel, Danielle, and Daneil"

[ca55x1nyu]

"That's not better." - Dick probably

[pragnificent]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[thingsamylikes]

I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.

[lemonsharks]

always reblog money snake

[hi-raethia]

as i depart this life for the next.

(poem is “above everything” by david ignatow)

[starry-blooms]

I’m going to go insane over this stupid line RAAAAAA anyways im calm and cool. The orbs are to represent the first 3 monarchs and ofc he’s got the petals that are chat and some dandelions:)

[ca55x1nyu]

I gave up my ability to disappear, taking on this crown, but why is it that now no one sees ME?

[pastelchaos242]

I full on believe that while the oceanides are Genshin equivalent of mermaids their mother egeria is a siren or lady of the lake

Egeria can emerge from any body of water and uses this to go give people side quests. Kaveh is one stop at Harvisptokhm from getting a commission to build her a underwater palace

Egeria is mixture of the pride of the dragon race with the aggression of the primordial race. She is a menace. While the oceanides were made out of sugar spice and everything nice. However they have inherited their mothers some what crazy behavior *cough* ianeira casting explode gall bladder *cough*

Egeria is literally said to have driven a women who she has never met face to face with to destroy an entire kingdom. The idea of egeria got Remus of remuria stabbed fifty times. Remus probably had night mares of this women clawing her way out of the depths of the ocean to destroy him because of that. She is such a menace her mother had to force a dragon prince to gaurd her to stop her ass from escaping

Furina is going to sit on a rock and sing “part of your world” while egeria is drowning some sailor who dared to hit on her daughters

[ca55x1nyu]

Sort of like Egeria is a betta fish, while the others are similarly pretty, but much less aggressive?

[starcurtain]

(Yet) Another VarFlins Fic I Want to Read

Just a very light-hearted and silly one: Although the Knights of Favonius encampment has basically become permanent in Nod-Krai now, because the threat of the Wild Hunt has greatly reduced, Varka is able to start spending longer on his trips back home to Mondstadt.

While the Grand Master is off on one of these homecomings, Flins finds himself somewhat adrift. The Wild Hunt's activity is too low for anything other than the average night patrol, so he's suddenly left with a wide open schedule and no real ideas for how to waste so many hours. A few too many pours into the firewater at the Flagship one evening and perhaps a bit lonely without his designated drinking buddy, Flins hits upon an idea that has never come to him before:

Why not visit Mondstadt himself, and see what all the talk is about?

There's enough Lightkeepers to cover their schedule for the next few weeks, and Illuga's bound to check in at the cemetery at least once or twice, so the spirits will have someone to talk to--there's nothing stopping Flins from going on a short trip, is there?

How long could it possibly take a fae to get to Mondstadt? A day or two?

Enter, The Problem™. Flins is not exactly an experienced world traveler. In fact, the only foreign land he's ever been in is Nod-Krai, if you can even count that as foreign from Snezhnaya. Certainly, he's a capable being, and he doesn't need much food or water, so there's no reason that traveling should prove to be particularly challenging...

Ah... right?

(Also known as: That time Flins accidentally accepted 20 sidequests.)

Or: Flins goes on a road trip and:

Terrifies an entire ship of innocent merchants (on accident)

Is waylaid by a Fontainian catgirl to be used as a prop in a magic show

Gets arrested for being a flying object in Fontaine on the wrong day of the month

Has tea in the Fortress of Meropide

Gets waylaid again by a golden bee on a ship above the ruins of Remuria

Blows off course into the Great Red Sands

Fights a djinn who thinks his lamp is pretty enough to steal (like two hermit crabs fighting over a shell 😂)

Terrifies several Eremite communities (also on accident)

Is in turn (mildly) terrified by Candace

Is tormented by the abysmal jokes of the Sumeru chief of police (who was supposed to be rescuing him from Aaru Village's Guardian; "Please sir, I'd like to go back to Miss Candace--")

Ends up being accepted as one-of-us by the aranara

Gives a silver-haired man in headphones some advice on how to best ragebait his easily ragebaited "roommate"

Gets directions from Hat Guy (thank goodness, a familiar face)

Only to promptly be distracted guiding miners with his lamp in the mines of the Chasm

Ends up in a bidding war for an antique in Liyue against some also-obviously-nonhuman-creature calling himself a "consultant" for a funeral parlor but that doesn't mean Flins is going to give up easily; just think of how nicely this Noctilucous Jade would compliment the shade of the Grand Master's eyes--

Meets some new ghost friends on Wuwang Hill (while serving community service with the consultant for their crime of accidentally bankrupting the funeral parlor)

Uses all his remaining mora to purchase an entire cask of Dandelion Wine from Dawn Winery, because surely the Grand Master will appreciate having all of this tonight, the night Flins finally arrives in Mondstadt! Ah, hm, why is this red-headed man staring so suspiciously at him...

Er, well, here is Mondstadt, but where is Varka?

What do you mean he's in Nod-Krai?

tl;dr: Flins travels half of Teyvat just to realize that Illuga has apparently forgotten to check his mailbox again and, panicking at Flins's absence, immediately notified all of their mutual acquaintances in Nod-Krai--including Durin and Albedo, who in turn got word to Varka himself--that Flins was suddenly nowhere to be found. Under such a condition, with his dearest ally in Nod-Krai vanishing without a trace, of course the Grand Master would rush back to Nasha Town in an instant, no?

Now Flins is left on his own to meet all of Varka's extended "family," who are certainly verrryyy curious about the beautiful man who showed up in town out of the blue looking for their Grand Master... (Good thing Flins has first impressions down pat!)

Interspersed between Flins charming all of Mondstadt are also snippets of the Grand Master's very confused race back to Nod-Krai, complete with rumors he keeps hearing of a "lovely but mysterious gentleman" at every stop along the route. This gentleman would sound a whole lot like Flins, except all these people on the route seem completely convinced their mysterious man was on a pilgrimage to visit his lover in a foreign land. That can't be Flins then, can it? Because--because Flins doesn't have a... lover, right? Right?? Varka isn't too late, is he?

All's well that ends well, naturally: With the somewhat-meddling-but-very-well-meaning help of Barbatos and at least two of the Hexenzirkel, Varka realizes the confusion and makes it back to Mondstadt again just in time for Windblume, to find that Flins already has all of Mond wrapped around his finger--as is only to be expected.

(Rosaria: You can tell my father I approve.

Flins: Well I'd be happy to, naturally, but what exactly are you approving...?)

Of course, a happy Windblume is had by all.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: Look at the 'fire-butterfly' we managed to film. The picture really doesn't do its beauty justice. (cr 鸟王艾雅康，观鸟景jhin，生态摄影阿博特，毕强，Sjxxphotograph，Fische，鱼摆摆，Shanalotte，冰鹡鸰）

[kitsunesongs]

The Michael!Alastor au has consumed me.

It's sometimes interesting because Lucifer and Michael would be so different and since Lucifer has fire and light Michael would have ice and darkness. Like a certain someone's shadows 👀

Imagine if that's how Alastor kills Overlords he freezes them eternally so no one knows or really sees this particular ability.

Also his radio thing could be an unconscious way of trying to connect with his other siblings.

Im gonna take somethings from my favorite supernatural fanfiction but what if we go on the idea that reincarnation shows a facet of someone. Like its them but a facet maybe one that isn't seen very often.

We can also still have Alastors deal just modified because like as the archangel of Justice he would want to go where the bad guys are to take care of them more permanently. So his deal could be like dont stand in my way and I owe a favor or smth (your better at the deals lol)

Like I said a lot of thoughts xD

I love all of this! The shadows are Michael's, he has ice powers too, the radio is him instinctually doing what he did with his siblings, he makes a deal not for power (he somehow knows he'll have power when he dies) but to make sure he goes to hell...

[ca55x1nyu]

Radio = Connection like Supernatural's Angel Radio thing?

[nerdpoe]

Due to Danny's ghostly nature, he misunderstands a bit when his DOOMED buddy in Gotham complains about his little brother.

The guy is clearly just blowing off steam, talking about how can he trust the little demon when he'd literally been stabbed, thrown off a banister (danny was pretty sure he was gonna say something else), got Mufasa'd (dropped from the roof and barely managed to save himself), and talked shit like, constantly.

And Danny, with all of his ghost instincts only partially tucked away behind human skin, can't help but coo.

"Aww, he must really like you man."

"...He's tried to kill me."

"But not really? Dude, why aren't you picking up on this?"

"Picking up on what? That he wants to be an only child?"

"No, dude; that he wants to fight you. Like, in a learning way, with only a little bloodshed. Man you're bad with kids. Of course he's trying to stab you, he wants to play."

His friend pauses, the character he's playing stopping midfight.

"You...aren't human, are you?"

Fuck.

[ailithnight]

Tim's DOOMED buddy is pretty tight lipped about what kind of alien or magical creature he is, as is his right of course; but Tim is a Bat and a stalker and down for a challenge, so he's constantly trying to figure it out based on context.

Right now his best guess is actually some kind of demon or hellspawn.

Which makes it all the more baffling when, out of sheer desperation for some got damn peace, he actually tries some of GhostBoi's advice for dealing with the Demon Brat, and it got damn fucking works!

[hdgnj]

Tim is going to bring that up and it will confuse both of them. Danny thinks on it.... And the only humans he knows with those instincts are extremely liminal. Oh fudge cakes! The kid might be liminal! If he is? The Ecto acts apply.... How does he being that up with his gaming buddy.

[ailithnight]

Danny, in all his infinite 14 year old wisdom, makes Tim a powerpoint and sends it over their secure server. It's titled

Extended Ectoplasm Exposure (Image of a stray puddle of ectoplasm on the floor in the Lab): How being a little bit dead makes your brother non-sentient in the eyes of the United States Government

It's the garish, psychedelic creation of a severely sleep deprived, caffeine fueled teenage vigilante (not that Tim knows that yet ; ]). It horrid and beautiful and Tim hates the content -on account of said content being deeply concerning on many levels for both his family and his friend- but appreciates the art. God, just the title screen would give B a migraine. He is absolutely using this abomination to debrief everyone else. With his own, Bat standard annotations of course. But beyond bringing it up just a couple degrees to Bat standard, it's already perfect. And why mess with perfection?

[hdgnj]

Just before he does, he needs to do some extra research first. Mostly fact checking. His buddy might have missed some stuff, or misunderstood after all. He is also going to try some of the latest advice. GhostBoi had recommended a surprise attack of Damian was getting angsty.

So, he did his research. Becoming more and more horrified about the laws. Amity Park. His friends general living situation. And bided his time. Once it was all complete. PowerPoint fully annotated. And then he just had to wait for Damian to be in a bad mood. Which, it's Damian. He waited for all of three hours.

The knife he threw was a wooden one as well! He was just testing a theory! Sure, he was pretty sure Lazarus Water was a type of ectoplasm. And he was pretty sure this made Jason and Damian Liminal. Therefore being subject to the laws. The PowerPoint had some bonding advice on it to. This was on there. And look! He now has a happy, sleepy, calm demon brat!

Bruce looked visibly disturbed at the sight. Probably because he'd watched the two of them fighting, Damian then begin to smile, and slowly calm down. And then decide to sit next to Tim. Leaning into his side. Now was the time to strike.

Tim: So. I made an accidental discovery. Everyone needs to come over for a debrief. Asap. It directly applies to not of us.

Damian:... Is this why you finally reciprocated my attempts to spar?

Tim: Yup. Baseline humans don't bond like that.

Bruce: Damian isn't a meta.

Tim: Nope. But he isn't fully human either. No one touched by the pits is.

[lifeofamanhwareader]

Tim: *opens slideshow*

Bruce externally:

Bruce internally:

Bruce (thoughts): my god.. that's.. oh.. no please.. please not the generic slide changing animation.. oh god the memes.. what even IS that grammar?!? THEY CHANGED THE ANIMATION FOR EACH SLIDE?!?! This is an abomination.. oh my god..

Bruce after the slides.. he just.. spends half an hour just.. standing there.. not saying anything.. not even moving.. digesting the information. The others are getting unsure if he's even breathing at this point.

Bruce, suddenly, and without warning:

THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT DID WHAT-

[hdgnj]

While waiting for Bruce to reload.

Jason: Just wondering, but... How much extra effort did it take to bring that.... Monstrosity up to code. Instead of making your own?

Tim: Honestly, not much. It was already thorough. It was mostly fact checking.

Dick: Forget that! This means that most of us! Are no longer fully human!! How did you even find out about this?!?

Tim: Online friend.

Jason: You can't just say that. What the fuck?

Tim:... I was venting about Damian. He forgot totally normal, baseline humans, don't stab in a friendly way.

Dick: No. No way! He outed himself by accident!! Poor kid.

Tim: Then I had that bad day. Used his advice. Ad it worked. So I used some more. Came to some interesting ideas.

Jason: And then, he what, just fucking.... Is such a sweetheart he sends you this out of concern for another Liminal?

Tim: I mean. From my research, I'm pretty sure he's Amity Parks local hero?

Dick: That would explain the data that was behind firewalls I guess?

Bruce reboots. Shouts. And Tim can later use this footage for blackmail. But yeah, this is a real issue. They need to sort it.

[snowypebbles]

Jason is stuck in that hellish middle point where he is liminal enough to use fighting for EVERYTHING, while also being strong enough to cause serious damage to the squishy humans near him. Meanwhile, the only ones who can keep up with his strength-wise can also put his slightly squishy body six feet back under the ground. He probably leaps at Grundy and Waylon for spars, and while Waylon is incredibly confused, he rolls with it. I also think Jason would have been sparring with Damian a bit, but not too much, because for one, he doesn't stop by all the time, and for two, it isn't considered normal for two humans to toss each other around like ragdolls.

[hdgnj]

Waylon is just so confused. Why is the brat suddenly so much calmer, but so much more feisty??? Why does he no longer chill out with a meal, why's it gotta be a brawl? He doesn't mind, but he is thrown. At least Grundy seems calmer??

Meanwhile Bruce has sent Tim off to inflict that horror show on the rest of the Justice League. If he had to suffer it so do they.

[snowypebbles]

Thrown both mentally and physically as he just got tossed through a wall.

[ca55x1nyu]

Things ESCALATED

[evilminji]

Okay, But, >.> Listen...

So MAYBE, just MAYBE, I am an incureable RoFan Isekai nerd. Shut up about it, maybe. What're you a cop? Mind your business. BUT! And hear me out...

W...What would actually? HAPPEN if Danny went into a Visual Novel? Some Otome game? You know, aside from being vague flustered by and then DEEPLY ALARMED by these walking Red Flag Fruitloops that girls are supposed to find "dreamy" or something?

Like we know how MMOs work for him. And probably OTHER open world games? But a visual novel? Would it be like the Christmas Episode? Would he hear narration? Be stuck in static "scenes"? Or would it be like a cut together "only the interesting parts" movie that he's somehow IN?

Like?? At SOME point his curiosity is gonna get the best of him. He's gonna want to know what different video games are LIKE on the inside? What's Pong like? Tetris? Mario? One of those Mama's cooking games? Etc etc.

He probably hits up a game sale. Buys a box or two. Figures he can always resell um or just give them away for free. Might even use them for parts. Who knows. And?

It's kinda cool!

It's even SCIENCE! See? Tucker's in charge of notes. Sam's in charge of hilarious commentary and pizza. Jazz is keeping them from drinking and doing ghost shit (terrible combination, we never speak of What Happened(tm) again). And the Dr's. Fenton got distracted by making fudge and debating what games should be counted towards which categories.

They've made an afternoon of it.

And NOW? They've reached the bottom of box one. It was "Survive The Villainess! My Rose for You!" Or... judging by Sam's climbing eyebrows and growing scowl? A DEEPLY unpleasant porn game about school girls.

You could not PAY him enough.

Yeah, he DOES realistically kinda want to know what happens.. if.. like? You know... sexy games... like would he? Or does he just WATCH or...? *awkward cough* But! That's NOT for Family Science Night! And DEFINITELY not THAT game, THANKS.

He'll find himself an ETHICALLY SOURCED smutty game full of consensual boning. For PRIVATE TIME. Those test results are gonna show up like MAGIC and we WILL NOT be talking about them! Got it? Good.

Now what the fuck is he look at here?

Jazz is surprisingly knowledgeable. They are not allowed to ask. They respect it. The main character "wakes up" inside the body of a "villainess" and must survive. Turn her terrible reputation around. Avoid "death flags". Preferably romance one of the hot guys?

Uuuuuuuh... you realize Danny's in a committed relationship, right?

Sam and Turker allow it. But they reserve the right to blast his taste in Fantasy Guy's. Chose carefully, for their roasting shall be BRUTAL. Luuuuuv yoooou~♡

He wants a divorce. They're not even MARRIED and he wants a divorce. You see how they mock him, Jazz? The cruelty he suffers? He's taking the Blobs and moving to Frightknight's. They always warned him about you living folks and your fast ways, but he didn't listen! *continued dramatics* *is smacked with a pillow*

But actually going IN? The weirdly, vaguely European over the top EVERYTHING? Giant jewels and ridiculous, fancy dresses? The walking red flag Romantic Archtype Leads? He wants to PUNCH half these guys! This is ABUSE! Are people OKAY!?

Like? I feel like he'd stay way, WAY longer then he needed too? Just out of morbid curiosity? W-where is this plot GOING? It's so dramatic. Why is my dress MORE dramatic now? Why is everything so... Sparkly.

It would be? AMAZING and baffling and I would pay real money to hear their live commentary. "Why not simply judo flip the crown prince off the balcony, then take over the country, sweetie?" "Solid plan, honey! He deserves it!" Beautiful. Flawless. Sage advice really. Too bad Danny can barely walk in his five million bows dress.

It's the BEST Au and I might be a genius. Or deeply sleep deprived. Meh. We'll 50/50 it, six of one, half a dozen of another.

@hdgnj @ailithnight @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

[evilminji]

The more I think about it? The funnier it gets for me? It would be.. SUCH a culture shock? Like a HARD culture shock.

Danny doesn't read romance novels. Or eastern fantasy Manga of any kind. He reads space articles and watchs western cartoons. Knows NONE of the troupes. The cold-hearted, black haired, red eyed, Duke of The North? Whoms't??? The inpronounceable vaguely European names? Know your place, Tiffananthinny La Rue! A SHAME upon this Bruthandurger NAME!

You are illegitimate and a secret lovechild! Soap opera drama! There are half demi-humans and werewolves! Elves maybe! We are sending untold background charaters off to The War(tm). They may never return. But what about THE BALL!? Which of course is happening in HIGH SCHOOL!

Danny has no idea what's happening.

Why does the "original heroine" character want to kill him? Where are the teachers? Is anyone ever actually IN class?? Sam is looking up a walk through. Jazz is trying to explain the troupes. His parents keep suggesting Revolution. Which... I mean... he's starting to think he should TRY. See if the game will let him.

These guys are nuts.

Why does every one keep calling him "interesting"? Jazz? Did that guy REALLY just say he's "not like other girls"?! REALLY? Really. Wait. Jazz? Why did you make that alarmed noise? Avoid him? Why?

What's a "yandere"?

@hdgnj @ailithnight @nerdpoe

[hdgnj]

All I can imagine is him doing this to a game the core four YJ team have been trapped in by Klarion. Tim is the serious/smart one obviously. And hates that he can't go outside of his set behaviours. Why is he being such a creep?

Cassie is the athletic/royal charming type. She is kinda enjoying it. But wow is this dude obsessive!

Bart is the puppy type, excitable and friendly. Who definitely has the MOST yandere bad end.

Connor is the bad boy/hidden route/villain. And hates the moody bullshit with a passions.

[evilminji]

I can totally see it? Klarion just? Talking over them? Cassie is there with inexplicable gleaming teeth and haunted by roses. And its..it's... there is this SMARMY undertone? Condescending somehow. Don't get her wrong, the flippy hair and inexplicably always perfect cape is awesome. Plus she could MARRY this horse its so perfect. She's totally rescuing Valiant to a life of Horse-y splender on the Amazonian islands when they leave... but like...

The fucking MICRO AGGRESSION are enough to put her fist through a wall? If she has to say the phrase "a lady's place is" or "a lady should" ONE MORE TIME? She's going to vomit blood. As her Amazonian sisters would both understand and respect. She's going to have to die, Robin. It's the only way.

And Bart? He is getting VIBES man. Just... creepy, haunted doll "come play with uuuus" Rotten VIBES from all this Twee "Aren't I Cuuuuute~☆ ;P " ness? He's pretty sure he's gonna find BODIES! Get him OUT of there!! His room looks like it was made for a CHILD.

The way they are some of these people are talking at him is getting him CONCERNED! Like? Yeah, cursed with the West family baby face. But the creeping on a little kid vibes he's picking up? Why are none of these people in jail!? Why is everyone acting like it's normal to give him creepy stuffed animals? Are you flirting or gifting a child a toy? YOU CAN NOT DO BOTH.

He may have them positive good time vibes, being a Speedster and all around Cool Dude? But he's not STUPID. Why is every one acting like he's ALSO a naive BRICK? He comes from a family of SCIENTISTS!!

Kon is trapped in his clothing. No. Really. There are so, so many unnecessary buckles and belts. It's so uncomfortable. This is actual leather. None of it breathes. He hadn't seen the sun in days, his "relatives" all remind of Lex, he's apparently supposed to either be Evil or deeply misunderstood but has a god damn TORTURE DUNGEON just... attached to his room. For funsies, apparently!

Did he mention he lives in a tower now? It's boarded up. Because something something, unspecified the world hates me. There are bones everywhere.

Misunderstooooood, guys. My unspecified murders were just because I was saaaaad. You good over there, Rob?

No. No Robin is NOT good. This feels POINTED, Klarion. He would NEVER abuse his powers of... Observation(tm). To... OBSERVE, not stalk! Observe! Some poor unsuspect young woman. This is creepy! Criminal! He is a moral-ish, vaguely upstanding, sometimes law abiding Vigilante! He only stalks his co-workers and criminals!

He mean OBSERVES! And why is wear glasses? His eye sight is fine! But... also?

He KNOWS he's not SUPPOSED too, you know, ACTUALLY be.. Observing the "heroine" girl or whatever? But there is something DEEPLY wrong with her. Like, "call the cops and get a medical intervention before she hurts somebody", wrong. You guys noticed that too, right?

The whole... weirdly obsessed with being a Pure Naive Girl shtick thing she has going on? The has to be the center of attention, thing? What we thinking? Narcissist? I mean... KLARION made this game, there is no way its NORMAL right?

Then? Before Klarion can really get into his "Fun"(tm) while the JLA Dark are franticly searching for where he *Poof!*ed away the ONE game copy of the trap game? Because that has a whole TEAM of hostages in it?

What's that from the HIGH BAR?! Ooooooooh! It's the FENTON LUCK! With a FOLDING CHAIR! *WHACK!* In wander possibly the ONE PERSON who can tell Klarion to fuck off and have him actually just fuck off. The Keeper Of The Balance(tm). The King Of The Dead(tm).

Danny "when I'm in my human form don't bother me" Fenton/Phantom!

Currently NOT in his office! Enjoying a lovely bit of time With His Family! Sure would be PISSED if you ruined that, Klarion! This is, OF COURSE, just a HARMLESS little goof... RIGHT? He's not gonna actually have to get up, go upstairs, STOP Family Science Night, and put on his crown... RIIIIGHT? Klarion?

Klarion, the Not Stupid Witch Boy: *cold sweating* :T mmmhmm! Just having a bit of fun! I do enjoy my jokes!

Great! :) So? What'd ya make? :) and who are your friends? :)

(Klarion, suddenly in two places, floating infront of the Young Justice secret meeting they are holding in a broom closet: Okay! What's it gonna take for you meat bags to BE COOL?)

[hdgnj]

Klarion: Look! Please! he cannot know! Please! What will it take!?!?!?!

Tim:.... Guarantee you will let us go with no issue.

Cassi: I want Valiant to leave with me!

Bart:... Stop the creepy flirting through gifting of kiddie toys.

Kon: ..... One favour after we leave.

Klarion:.... I hate all of you fine. Phantom is playing the game. I'll let you leave once he's done.

Tim: So. Who's Phantom?

Kalrion:... High King of the Dead... Keeper of balance. And one of the few beings who can solo Darkseid.

Tim:.... Perfect! If we make friends with him!!!!

[mkarchin713]

I can just imagine the teams reaction when they meet Phantom.

They are expect some eldritch abomination or muscle bound power house or a skeleton man.

They are not expecting a twink in a frilly pink dress.

…

Danny swears he is going to change out of this monstrosity as soon as he finds the character customization section.

At least Klarions friends are trying their best not to laugh in his face.

They seem pretty cool as long as Danny doesn’t activate any cut scenes and they are forced to say and do what their characters do in the scenes. Klarions friends seem to have … let’s call it a negative reaction to their dialogue, not that Danny blames them, his dialogue trees suck but it’s the only way to complete the game.

[evilminji]

Honestly? If it's a villainess otome game? He's prob in a RED dress. Still dying though. It's still a walking OSHA violation and should be illegal to have within 50 feet of any staircase. He's in Dramatic Impressive Villainess Heels.

His feet are DYING.

To say nothing... NOTHING! Of the hell that is his jewelry.

It's so heavy. His ears are going to rip off and this necklace might as well be a cannonball on a chain. But? At least he didn't have to wear the "heroine" outfit? Is he getting that right? He thought HE was the... oh! No, he's the PROTAGONIST. The "Heroine" is the protagonist of the supposed "original novel"!

Cool.

......why does she seem COMPLETELY nuttypuffs?

[hdgnj]

You know.... Klarion is ok with this actually. It's still chaos. Still fun. So long as no one bland this will be a fun memory right! Right?! And.... Ok, yeah. Maybe he should have chosen another game. He may have underestimated how... Creepy this one was.... Oh. Oh wow. Phantom is going to KILL him if he reaches any of the bad endings. Oh. Oh fuck. Should he... Add green and red sparkles around the good and bad options! Is that too... Suck up of him? Argh! This was MEANT to be fun! Not stressful!

Danny is, suffering for 'fashion ' right now. What is that? Does he HAVE to wear it? Like, that's not clothes right? Right?! Why are the maids advancing like that? Oh shit! Fuck! no?!!!! He doesn't want to wear it!!! You can't make him wear a damn corset! please!?!?

Danny has never been so glad he meant have to breathe. Young Justice are concerned. He seems, subdued today. What's wrong?

Danny then goes on a long rant about how the dress and heels and jewellery were bad enough. But he has to wear a corset now. And he can feel his ribs breaking guys! Breaking! He can't breathe! He might not need to! But it feels weird to not be able!

[evilminji]

What's WORSE is he's TALKED to historical ghosts! You know, ladies who ACTUALLY WORE THESE THINGS! They aren't supposed to FEEL LIKE THIS!

What the Actual Fuck!? It's supposed to be, you know, sorta really unbendy shape wear! Supportive! WHY AM I IN A BEAR TRAP OF LACE!? Dora would be AGHAST.

And Klarion, dressed really, REALLY badly as a maid is like? Yeeeeeah. That isn't even me? It was just. LIKE THAT. They do No Research. It's all vibes.

Speaking! Of unrelated things! I got this sparkles idea I wanna run by you! For no particular reason! Ha ha. *strained smile* you'll LOVE IT! Right Teekle? Right. Really streamlines the whole proc- *feels someone try to kill his double* Hold that thought.

Smash cut to him like *violently throws open the door* justice Nerds! Pinky the Ex-protaginst has gone ROUGE! She is Twee and insane! *everyone looks to Robin*

Robin: oh COME ON! Why do you assume I'M the expert?

Everyone else: Gotham.

[hdgnj]

Danny is now dodging assassination attempts. Really really bad ones. It's actually funny. But also, he feels like he needs to sit the lady down and help her with better ideas. also, was this part of the game? Uh, Klarion? Have we, perhaps, maybe.... Brought the game to life. Two beings of magic and power that we are? Can... Can we leave before the end of the game? We should check right?

Oh. Oh no. Oh fuck! Klarion! Get over here! What did you add to the game?! Look at what's happened! We need to know what was original! Now! Get me to the baby heroes! We need to figure this out!

[evilminji]

As always, you! You get my vision! Heroine-chan is going full-on White Lotus Cracklepuffed Nuttynuggets. Just... FULL ON "I AM SUPPOSED TO BE SPECIAL! It's supposed to be about meeeeeeee!" *tries to ax murder you*

Because that's her "character" dialed up too 11. Klarion and Danny are pumping out too much Power(tm). Just by EXSISTING in the small, contained, system of this "World"? They are bringing it to a higher state of being.

It's like having Gods chilling in downtown New York pumping out Divine Magic Radiation. Slowly turning the locals into elementals. Whoops. They forgot that much like a human in space, with no cooling unit in their suit? They CAN "cook themselves alive" in small spaces.

This is VERY MUCH an early warning sign. Things that shouldn't be alive, starting to show sentience or the mimicking thereof? Bad Sign. We need to GO.

But GUEES who locked the doors cause he thought it'd be FUNNY?

Klarion.

Guess who's trying to keep Pink In Delusions away from his fuckin CAT? KLARION! Stop CHASING HIM! Leave Teekle ALONE, YOU MONSTER!

Worse STILL, Danny can't even blast her! Because THAT would just release MASSIVE AMOUNTS of Ectoplasmic power into a small world box! Which was FINE when they could LEAVE. And there weren't HOSTAGES.

And now?? NOW he's finally gotten around to demanding to know what the red sparkles lead too. Klarion won't tell him. But his Sister sure can guess! Oh? Did you FORGET, Witchboy?

Family Game Night? You'll NEVER guess who's looking up the emergency JLA number as we speak. His mother. His Dad is already getting guest chairs out. You? Grounded. Community service. Danny is SO MAD. *is handed a note from young justice* .....and you still owe Cassie her horse and Kon his favor.

Klarion: D:> noooooo!!!

[hdgnj]

Young Justice like... "I'm sorry. Grounded?"

Danny: What? my mirror born sister/cousin/daughter dragged him home a few months ago. How did you think he knew about me??

Klarion: Ellie switches between calling Phantom Mama and brother. And since she decided I was her twin in chaos??

Tim: You got adopted by the GHOST KING??????? Is THAT why you bribed us to silence????

Danny: Hmm. Too bad for Klarion I guessed already. But you know. There's this thing called 'plausible deniability'. Anyway! How are we corralling the pink menace?? We can't use our powers. It WILL make the situation worse. So, sparkles??

Klarion: Green sparkles leads to the good ending. red to the bad....

Danny: Right. Well. Wanna do a speed run while dodging the incompetent assassination attempts??

[evilminji]

Now the Very Serious discussion of? Who's gonna take one for the team and kiss this guy? (No offense) (oh, totally none taken! I'm spoken for! I get it.)

Cassie would Prefer To Not. She WILL if she has too, but... eeeeeh. She's 9/10s lesbian in preference and does NOT know this guy well enough to have that Emotional Connection(tm) you know? Plus twinks in dresses don't do it for her.

Fair enough.

Bart WOULD volunteer? Cause honestly, it won't MEAN anything and it gets them out of here? But uuuuh.... his "route" is WAY too creepy. He can't. Just... No. This is him putting down a boundary. Hard No. We aren't doing that. Find a different way.

Also Fair. And they all respect that.

Tim? Toss up. Either him or Kon need to distract "Heroine-chan". If they can make her feel... "special" and "like a princess"? She falls back to trying to SUBTLY manipulate instead of outright murder. She has behavioral patterns. They need her pretending to be a helpless waif again. It buys them time.

But! That depends on WHAT the "Good Endings" for Tim and Kon ARE.

And if they need to drag this OUT or play it to completion. If it's buy time? Bounce back and forth between their routes. If it's finish this? Speed run the lesser of two Icks. So... fess up Klarion.

What, EXACTLY, is the "Good End" here?

[comp-sigh]

Klarion? Klarion is SWEATING. how does he explain to his brother/dad danny that he chose this specific otome game to trap yj in is because even the best of the good endings is really kinda sorta fucked up?... he REALLY doesnt want to explain... maybe letting the ex-protagonist murder him isnt such a bad idea?

[hdgnj]

Obviously Tim's is less horrific. I mean.. Do you prefer Big Brother is WATCHING you vibes, or We shall lovingly maim our enemies in our secret torture dungeon vibes????? Yes, those are the good ends... DO NOT ask about the bad ones!!! Just.. Don't. Please!!!

Danny:... Those are the good ends? I either end up wife and accomplice to a criminal? Or a murderer??

Klarion: Better than victim right?

Tim: What kind of fucking game IS this????

Klarion:... It's based on a Japanese novel...

[evilminji]

God Klarion is actually gonna be SO relieved when Dr. Fate shows up? Like "OH THANK CHAOS! It's the boring RESPONSIBLE guy! Save us!"

And like? *glaring interrogation* What's The Novel's NAME, Klarion?

Because there are SO many fan forums? SOMEBODY has posted spoilers. Sam has her laptop out and Tucker is ready to tear the internet apart.

"Survive The Villainess! My Rose For You!" Huh? Based oooooon..... says HERE? "SURVIVAL of the Villainess. My Rose For You!" According to this, the "Rose" in question is your love. And if you give it to the wrong person you Die.

The novel was a Romantic Fantasy HORROR novel.

.......KLARION!

He can explain! .......he thought it would be funny. *whack* Ow! Stop HITTING! Mean. >:(

But at least their mentors have found them? And JLA Dark are trying to get them out. So.... Stall? Yaaaay. More dramatic tea parties. At least he's immune to poison. And THANKFULLY, nobody is forgetting anything RIGHT?

*Klarion makes an Oh Shit facial expression, counts off the Young Justice on his fingers, then visually tries to remember something by counting off again... leaving an extra finger still up.*

Y-Yeah. Probably. Definitely FINE and we shouldn't worry about it! Ha ha.

..........you uuuh.

You didn't have a weirdly helpful and attractively designed looking butler... did you? Who kept disappearing and showing up at weird times? Bizarrely influential? Never smiled with teeth? L...Long hair?

*Danny puts down his definitely poisoned cup of tea* *squints suspiciously*

WHY.

*tower of the Fantasy Castle explodes in the background. Sky goes red. Obvious hell demons invading*

Hidden character. Your butler was secretly the Demon Lord. *nervous jazz hands* S-Suprise! <:D

[hdgnj]

Danny*deep calming breath*

"You mean to tell me! That this game ALSO has magic! And you didn't think to tell us! What are your characters abilities! And how do we use them! "

Klarion(nervously): Here you go. One list of abilities per person. Enjoy your magic!!!

Klarion tries to run before being dragged back by his cape. Danny is visibly fuming.

Danny: Why does it say I have to kiss someone to use my 'holy saintess' powers?!

Klarion: Well! It's a romance game! It was part of the original settings!

Tim:.... I don't know how to feel about my magic and how it works..... Trapping people in images seems... Pointed.

Bart: I have to do creepy kid shit... Fuck! Like, I have puppet control powers. But all the puppets I have are.....

Kon: At least you don't have to drink blood. The blood of the innocent specifically.

Cassie: No. But I do have to use the love of my admirers as fuel. And I'm pretty sure that means they either die or go insane.

Danny: Ok. You know what. Powering up by being kissed no longer seems so bad. Who's on smooching duty?

Tim:... I guess we take turns? In case it has unforseen side effects?

[ca55x1nyu]

Absolutely amazing story idea