Calliope's Quill

Fanfiction, fun theories, and general nerdiness!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[shi-toyu]

COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN

So, I lost my job yesterday, so I'm opening commissions for the first time in years to help fill the gap.

Pricing

Under 500: $3 1000: $10 2000: $20 3000: $30 4000: $40 5000: $50

~10,000: $100

*PLEASE NOTE* If I go over the word count you have selected, you will NOT be charged an additional amount. I am also available to discuss what wordcount may best suit a prompt that you have in mind.

Fandoms

Marvel (Comics & Movies) Merlin (TV) Sherlock Holmes (Any) The Losers (Movie) Transformers (Comics or cartoons) Lord of the Rings

If there is a fandom you would like to see that is NOT listed here, please feel free to ask about it as you are reserving your slot. I ONLY WORK WITH FICTICIOUS CHARACTERS, no real person fanfic. That being said, OCs and the like are perfectly acceptable.

Also, you are not restricted just to new fics. Is there are series or one-shot I’ve already written that you’d like to see continued? Here’s your chance! For those wanting more of pirate!Stuckony, WinterSolider!Tony, mob!Everybody, spacecaptives!Loki and Tony or, really, anything else, I will accept extensions of these worlds as well.

Guidelines

-All slots are available on a first come, first serve basis. -Reservations can be made by third party individuals, but the true commissioner must confirm within 24 hours or the slot will reopen. -To reserve, reply/reblog this post and TAG ME to be sure I get a notification. Private messages can be made through Tumblr or Discord. (Please do NOT make payments at the time of reservation.) -Commissioners may submit any prompt they would like, but I reserve the right of refusal. -Once a prompt has been given and accepted, the prompt cannot be changed. This is to prevent me getting half-way through a fic and then having to start over. -Completed fics will be posted to Ao3/Tumblr and gifted to the commissioner.

Payment & Refunds

PLEASE DO NOT MAKE PAYMENTS WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR RESERVATION. Payments will be made via Paypal or the ‘Buy Me Coffee’ button after your reservation has been confirmed by me. Payments must be made within 24 hours of confirmation or the slot will reopen. For 4k fics and higher, payments may be broken into two parts, one half paid at the reservation and the other when the work is completed but before it posts. NO UNPAID WORK WILL BE POSTED.

Full refunds will be offered as long as I have not already started the fic. Once started, the available refund will be equivalent to the percentage of the fic left to be completed. (If I’m half-way done, you’d get 50% back.)

[sexboobomb]

I want to learn more exclamations that aren’t strictly just religious stuff. “Jesus Christ” this, “oh my god” that, nah I want something fresh.

What are some of y’all’s favorite exclamations that aren’t about god?

[sexboobomb]

first submission and we're already off to a fantastic start. absolutely love this one thank you

[sexboobomb]

ok its time for the challenge round now we want nominations that arent about sex either actually

[mbrainspaz]

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

[foldingfittedsheets]

@chekhovs-tantrum

Absolutely not letting you leave these in the tags.

[calliopesquill]

My aunt once used "Gosh darn hokey beans, golly jee-willickers". It's been more than 20 years and she's forgotten it entirely but it really stuck with me.

[violetsbookshelf]

Pointe Skirt by Darinika Atelier

[sunhatred-deactivated20220531]

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

[ardatli]

This is also the fantasy behind all those old bodice-ripper romances that people today like to mock or call problematic, by the way.

“Oh, my next forty years are going to consist of nothing but washing dishes and keeping house and bearing children for the disdainful man I married right out of high school because my parents said college was for men and I had no other obvious life path open to me? What if a pirate captain thought I was worth stealing away from it all? [what if I ran away but no-one could blame me for leaving]?”

[unclothed-i-shall-return]

#I read an article a long time ago about a woman who was raised in an incredibly repressive conservative christian community#where all that mattered was purity and virginity etc #She talked about how for a long time rape fantasies were the only way she could derive any pleasure from sex #because she couldn’t feel safe exploring the idea of wanting sex #it wasn’t really ABOUT rape or eroticizing assault or whatever #it was about creating a scenario where she was free from the shame associated with wanting #i think this is true of a lot of icky-seeming stuff in romance and erotica #it’s an imaginary scenario where nothing you don’t really want actually happens #but you can’t be blamed or feel guilty for it #you didn’t do anything wrong#anyway that article changed my perspective a lot #i think there’s also something to be said for people who have felt ugly and undesirable their whole lives #enjoying fictional scenarios where a hot alpha werewolf or whatever is so attracted to them he ‘cant help himself’ or whatever #because it can also be really shameful to want to be desired #when you feel like youre ugly and gross ( @headspace-hotel )

[calliopesquill]

It's like the reasons why monster romance and enemies to lovers is so popular.

Especially for those who feel unwanted, unattractive, or othered by society, there's something to the idea of someone who understands, who is an outside as much as we are. Someone who sees the worst of us and loves us anyway.

[kaiotisk]

made two bookmarks to sell at cons!

[mydonkeyfeet]

I forget if I showed the beautiful Tyrian purple that they made in the synthesis chemistry lab that I collaborated with at the art museum. They’ve been synthesizing mostly blue pigments and dyes from throughout history. This was my first time seeing Tyrian purple in person and I was so excited!

Historically it was made from murex snails and was hugely expensive and used by royalty, but chemically it’s similar to indigo so the class was able to create it in the lab without snails.

[sarcasm-hime]

While I was in town for Otakuthon I had to make time to visit the Costume Balls exhibit at the McCord Stewart Museum! Historical fancy-dress costumes are a special interest of mine and this exhibit did not disappoint ❤️

It was super interesting to see the variety in style and quality; some costumes had impeccable craftsmanship, while others were made with cheaper materials and not meant to last (but have survived against the odds nonetheless). I also loved the interactive screens where you could flip through some of the costume idea books with illustrations.

This is only a tiny selection of the photos I took; I was there first thing in the morning and only left when I had to catch my plane 😅 if you're in Montreal I highly recommend checking it out before it closes on Aug 17; I think it's going to Ottawa after that.

#historicalcostume #museumadventures

[sky-ham]

Fortiche just posted "behind-the-scenes" / blooper images for Arcane [1] [2]

[hanavesinauttija]

[pelagae]

And her sister Phthalo Blue, another slam dunk for copper!

[zhoudadudugongjin]

Don't forget about her distant cousin, Tyrian Purple

[kosmogrl]

[manwhorewednesdays]

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".

[donnathepirana]

I turned on closed captions for the Swedish Chef and I just started weeping with laughter.

[deactivated-blog]

[thesaltofcarthage]

These captions are peak Muppet and Jim Henson would be delighted.

[modmad]

how can you post this and not link to the original on the official Muppets youtube

[frontmansdefender]

[calliopesquill]

As someone who just got an email from the higher-ups at work regarding a request that I use less critical language after I made my opinion known about the creepy AI they used in our last mandatory training video, I anticipate that we will be receiving this email from corporate any day now.

[calliopesquill]

Jinu's Memories and the Nature of Bargains

So I've been thinking about this since the first time I watched this movie, about Jinu's request to have his memories erased and the nature of fae/demon deals.

This was not going to turn out the way that he wanted.

It's a common theme in mythology and folklore that when you make deals with supernatural beings (gods, demons, fae, etc.) you need to be very specific in your wording of what you want. Not to mention that creatures like fae and demons are notorious for twisting wishes and bargains into things that work in their favor.

You can make the request that you will never die, but if you do not specify that you wish to remain eternally young as well, you end up as a shambling, emaciated wreck that ages eternally but cannot die. You can wish to remain forever with your beloved spouse, but if you do not specify that you wish to remain human together, the god who thinks he's doing you a favor will turn you both into trees that twine about each other and a root system that can never be separated.

So for Jinu, who asked for his memories of his perceived sins to be erased... he said nothing about the emotions attached to them. And I think Gwi-ma would have capitalized on that. Take the memories, but leave the guilt and the shame and the pain, creating even more emotional turmoil within Jinu as he feels all of these awful things and does not remember why. Perhaps feeling even more guilty and shameful about it, or assuming he did something even worse than he did.

That is the nature of these kinds of deals, and we already know that Gwi-ma is exactly the kind of being who would take advantage of a desperate person and twist their wishes into something even more painful and awful than what they are already experiencing. Jinu was never going to get what he wanted. His continued pain and obedience were too important to Gwi-ma. It's easy to control and abuse people when they don't believe that they deserve any better.

[stuckinapril]

Has anyone figured out what’s so viscerally wrong with this woman yet

[stuckinapril]

She’s so one dimensionally evil you guys 😭😭 how is she real

[mintedwitcher]

read this and remember it. read this and remember that she is going to use the profits of her fucking ego-stroking reboot to decimate trans rights. read this and remember that every time you pay into her IP, you are emboldening her to hurt us more.

our lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

trans lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

[beggars-opera]

MA'AM??? YOU DROPPED YOUR CROWN???

[survivablyso]

this is AMAZING

[fresh-freddy]

Sewing in media:

Quiet, contemplative, peaceful. A graceful and beautiful craft.

Me sewing:

*stabs self with needle* Motherfucker!

*thread snaps* Die you bastard!

*stabs self with needle (again)* Bitch!

*stands up causing scissors I forgot were on my lap to fall and stab me in the foot* FUCK!!