the ottawa centaurs are snowed in at a hotel on a road trip. the game is cancelled, all flights are grounded, roads are closed, and tv and phones can only provide so much distraction. what’s a group of athletic 18- to 35-year-old men to do to pass the time?
set up their own olympic games in this edmonton marriott, obviously.
the schedule of events includes:
opening ceremony that’s just everyone doing shots in shane and ilya’s room while ilya plays club can’t handle me by flo rida from his phone speakers
relay race featuring rolls of stick tape as batons. at least one team drops it and it rolls halfway down the hall before they can catch it.
snowboarding (sliding down the stairs on a piece of cardboard they found)
chicken that they inexplicably play in a hotel room instead of the indoor pool
finding and discreetly disposing of all the pieces of the lamp they definitely broke while playing chicken
volleyball using a ball made out of everyone’s socks
triathlon making use of the pool, the spin bikes in the hotel gym, and then instead of using the treadmills for the marathon portion they have to run an incredibly circuitous route of the hotel hallways that involves going up and down multiple flights of stairs. remembering the route is part of the challenge.
greco-roman wrestling, no holds barred. quickly amended to greco-roman wrestling, some holds barred after shane bites ilya. shane’s victory is allowed to stand because ilya says it was his own fault for not being prepared when he knows shane is a biter.
who can carry the most hotel furniture up to the roof in 10 minutes
who can put all the hotel furniture back in its proper place the fastest after getting caught bringing it onto the roof
who can come up with the best apology to the team’s travel coordinator and the hotel staff
medals/closing ceremony that’s just more shots in shane and ilya’s room but this time ilya is playing sorry for party rocking
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