cashew elliot

elliot | he/him | 20 | personal dream journal | no longer allergic to cashews | pfp is an ikea chair |

[girleulogy]

If a hot bi girl wanted to fix me I would let her

[lumsel]

if a hot bi girl wanted to make me worse i would let her

[madnessofmen]

annotated margins but it just says “gay???” repeatedly at various points throughout the book

[cashewelliot]

I coulda had a t4t4t cuddle party this weekend ???

[nohohankerotomania-deactivated2]

true but i dont agree

[screenshotsofdespair]

[cashewelliot]

don't ask questions you don't want an answer to????

the gang of little old ladies at work finally put it together that I only work 3 days a week and confronted me about it, "do you got a sugar momma hiding somewhere" but when I answer "yes" I'm the weird one?

[cashewelliot]

I allow myself to be fetishized because deep down I belive its the only way I'll be desired

[cashewelliot]

trying that whole open relationship thing and now I have three dates in one weekend

[radiofreederry]

You will never be John McAfee bitch

[retroactivebakeries]

It is not enough that Elon Musk should die, nor even that he should die penniless, friendless, alone, and in pain. It is necessary, as a matter of moral certitude, that his death be utterly and completely mundane and explicable in its every particular. such clear and inarguable must it be that no true crime podcaster or history channel could ever inject it with falsified intrigue in the name of a quick buck; it must be so plain and clear that every four-year-old who heard of it would nod sagely in understanding.

[elevenquietseas]

beautiful, poetic and powerful encapsulation of the exact right vibe

you good bud?

[maykitz]

93 years old in the nursing home full throttle alzheimers just quoting youtube poops at the nurses

[p2ep]

[cashewelliot]

"your butthole had so much pussy on it; I coulda but a whole finger in"

[celceta]

I love seasonal fruits they’re like girl we’re back lol

[cashewelliot]

goodnight affirmation texts for the girls

[cashewelliot]

have wife, may be obtaining collective boyfriend,,,,

[cashewelliot]

update!

no collective boyfriend yet

she has a twink and I have an emotional investment

[cashewelliot]

doing a new thing where I text a friend I haven't seen irl in 4 years and tell them that it's "secret time" and give them a life update

[authorofemotion]

everyone talks about how tumblr should make an @everyone feature, but I have another proposal: an @anyone feature. this tags a few users at random and there’s no way of predicting who it will be. this will also solve nothing and make everything worse