Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away
Why does staff still allow people funnier than you to leave tags on your posts. They should have fixed that by now
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
macklin celebrini has autism

Kiana Khansmith
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
we're not kids anymore.
đŞź
cherry valley forever
Claire Keane
sheepfilms
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Game of Thrones Daily
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
icyghini twinkie

No title available

PR's Tumblrdome

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
official daine visual archive
Xuebing Du

Product Placement
seen from Spain

seen from Germany

seen from TĂźrkiye
seen from Poland

seen from Singapore

seen from Australia

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy

seen from Malaysia

seen from Singapore
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
@celeste-uqb
Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away
Why does staff still allow people funnier than you to leave tags on your posts. They should have fixed that by now
I found THE funniest folktale ever (Tatra mountains again) but there is no way I can do it justice in english.
I will try, of course, but I will fail.
the tale is about a man complaining to his wife that he has to work so hard each day and she just stays home and does nothing â so they switch roles, she goes to work instead and leaves all the household chores to him.
of course he fails at each chore but I cannot stress enough how absolutely badly he fucks it all up.
Man and woman (endearingly chĹop i baba in the gĂłrale dialect) - slight warnings for mentions of animal death and bodily harm, as it usually is in slavic folk tales.
There was a woman. One day her husband complains. The man despairs! Woe, woe, he has to work each day to earn money and she gets to stay home, and that it is unfair. And so the woman agrees and goes to work next day instead and leaves all the household chores for him to do.
She tells him to let the hen and the chicks out but beware the goshawk. He lets them out but does not keep an eye on them: the goshawk steals both the hen and all the chicks.
She tells him to gather hay and grass for the cow to eat and feed her in the barn. He ties the cow to the stake too far from the hay and the cow chokes on her rope trying to get to it.
She tells him to prepare her some food, given she has to work all day away from home: to mill wheat and bake her breakfast, and bring it to her. But he is too caught up in all the chores to be able to do so, and she is left hungry for the entire day.
She told him to bathe their little son JaĹ and to churn fresh butter for the week. He puts the child in the bath and starts to churn the butter, but he forgets he had milk in the pot on the stove for his wifeâs breakfast and it boils over.
He rushes to get the milk and does not mind the child. JaĹ wants to reach the butter and he falls out of the bath: he knocks over the butter churn and put his eye out as he falls.
The man despairs! Woe, woe, no hen and no chicks, no cow and no milk, no butter â and now his son is hurt, too! He does not know what to do and decides to leave the house and get some wood for the stove instead.
He takes his axe and goes to the forest. On his way there, by the lake, he sees a wild duck! He decides to get her so at least they have duck for supper. He throws his axe at the duck⌠and it falls into the lake. The duck flies away.
The man despairs! Woe, woe, no duck and no axe. He does not know what to do and decides to undress and lie down to rest after such misfortune. He falls asleep on the lakeâs bank.
But behind the leeve there was a hunter: he was waiting with his rifle to kill the duck for hours, and the man ruined his plan. And so he steals the manâs clothes as he sleeps to have something to bring home at least.
The man despairs! Woe, woe, no clothes to put on at all, and a long way back home through the main road leading to the town. What shame! He sees a horse-drawn cart with hay and sneaks behind it, and hiding behind it he sneaks back home, naked as God made him.
But he feels shame for heâs fully naked, and so he makes his final mistake: he takes some hay from the cart to hide his most shameful bitsâŚ
The woman comes home, tired and hungry. She sees the man sitting by the stove, crying, and she asks him why he did not bring her any food at all. The man despairs! Woe, woe, he cries and cries.
Why are you crying so, the woman asks. I let the hen and the chicks out and the goshawk came and stole them all! Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, weâll get another hen and weâll hatch more chicks. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks. I wanted to feed the cow but I tied her to the stake too far from the hay and she choked and now sheâs gone! Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, we will get another cow. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks. I drew the bath and churned the butter, but the milk boiled over and the child fell out of the bath and ruined the butter and put his eye out! Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, at least he wonât get drafted. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks. I went to the forest to get some wood and I threw my axe at a duck but the duck flew away and the axe fell into the lake and so I laid down undressed to cry and a hunter hiding by the leeve stole all my clothes. Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, we have some cloth in the chests, I will sew you new clothes. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks.
I had to take the main road to go home and I was naked as God made me, and so I sneaked behind a cart! Woe, woe, he cries, I had to cover my shame with hay so that people would not see!Â
Woe, woe, he cries.Â
The horse ate my dick.
I hate Nintendo Switch Online. I hate the lack of optimization. I hate the expensive subscription service. I hate the lack of games. I hate the limited time releases. I hate that it's never gonna have the level of content that the Wii virtual console had. I hate what capitalism has done to gaming.
This collection includes: All the GBA, GB and GBC games currently available on the Switch!!
+ And a few extra bonus!! Mostly from the same series'seses
Download here for free!!: https://www.mediafire.com/file/pzycxh6zu9b8drf/GBA_Online_PC.rar (405 MB Uncompressed)
They're all ready to be played in HD on PC. Just drag and drop the files on the included program
Target audience right here!! The joy of gaming and sharing it with others is the reason i post and i made this blog. Enjoy the Kirbyses very much, and do remember to support the official release whenever possible
This post is so fucking distressing as an old man that has had emulators and full romsets on their computers since the 90s. Reading these comments is slightly crushing. This was ALWAYS here. People have been working TIRELESSLY to preserve video game history, to keep games actually playable. The above mod pack is comically small, you can very easily find full romsets of more or less every console out there, most aren't more than a few hundred MB (it only gets unweildly when you get to like CD based games). Maybe more if you get one of the romsets that has like, every region release for every game and hundreds of mahjong games and stuff but idk. Go to Zophar's domain. It's not perfect, but it's been around for a million years: there you will find emulators for anything that play ON anything (phones have emulators on them, too!) If you just google search "_____ rom", you'll find it. Torrenting romsets is so easy, but if you just want a few specific games, you can just google them. If you use common sense and have an adblocker etc., most of the big websites that will come up first on a search are absolutely fine to go to. Download your games. And then, for good measure, go to MyAbandonware.com and give them a browse.
on it boss
step 1: mitosis
I went to the Jane Austen Centre in Bath back in December so naturally there were Christmas decorations for sale in the gift shop. It was late enough that some were reduced, so naturally I had to get Elizabeth and Mr Darcy and now they both live on my shelf in my bedroom.
Elizabeth looks nice enough (slightly questionable facial expression but I choose to believe that this was her exact face when Mr Collins proposed):
But I was a cheapskate and so I ended up getting a Darcy who, put it this way, is aesthetically (and vertically) challenged...:
(I can only assume that they had already sold out of the nicer Darcy ones)
Personally I love them as a pair because Darcy would be so offended to be depicted like this. Maybe if he had been able to see such an effigy of himself then he wouldn't have been so conceited.
This is what was on Darcy's shoulder, whispering into his ear: 'Insult her family when you propose. Do it. You know you want to.'
Darcy: I have no wish of denying that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice in my success.
The Doll: YES!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!! NOW ADD MORE INSULTS!!!!
Darcy: Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself.
The Doll:
Child soldiers exist, war is not an adult topic.
Children die, death/murder is not an adult topic.
The Troubled Teen Industry exists, child trafficking is not an adult topic.
Children get raped, sexual assault is not an adult topic.
Children have alcoholic parents, addiction is not an adult topic.
Children get beat to the point of hospitalization at school, that level of violence is not an adult topic.
That when these things get into "kid friendly" media at all, they tend to be heavily censored is about protecting adult control over kids, not about protecting children.
emilio please im not sure how catering would help this situation
Feeling very called out right now
One of the darkest moments of Franceâs colonial history has never been properly acknowledged. That could be about to change.
^ Just so people know the official name for further googling
one of the best academic paper titles
for those who don't speak academia: "according to our MRI machine, dead fish can recognise human emotions. this suggests we probably should look at the results of our MRI machine a bit more carefully"
I hope everyone realises how incredibly important this dead fish study is. This was SO fucking important.
I still donât understand
So basically, in the psych and social science fields, researchers would (I don't know if they still do this, I've been out of science for awhile) sling around MRIs like microbiolosts sling around metagenomic analyses. MRIs can measure a lot but people would use them to measure 'activity' in the brain which is like... it's basically the machine doing a fuckload of statistics on brain images of your blood vessels while you do or think about stuff. So you throw a dude in the machine and take a scan, then give him a piece of chocolate cake and throw him back in and the pleasure centres light up. Bam! Eating chocolate makes you happy, proven with MRI! Simple!
These tests get used for all kinds of stuff, and they get used by a lot of people who don't actually know what they're doing, how to interpret the data, or whether there's any real link between what they're measuring and what they're claiming. It's why you see shit going around like "men think of women as objects because when they look at a woman, the same part of their brain is active as when they look at a tool!" and "if you play Mozart for your baby for twenty minutes then their imagination improves, we imaged the brain to prove it!" and "we found where God is in the brain! Christians have more brain activity in this region than atheists!"
There are numerous problems with this kind of science, but the most pressing issue is the validity of the scans themselves. As I said, there's a fair bit of stats to turn an MRI image into 'brain activity', and then you do even more stats on that to get your results. Bennett et. al.'s work ran one of these sorts of experiments, with one difference -- they used a dead salmon instead of living human subjects. And they got positive results. The same sort of experiment, the same methodology, the same results that people were bandying about as positive results. According to the methodology in common use, dead salmon can distinguish human facial expressions. Meaning one of two things:
Dead salmon can recognise human facial expressions. OR
Everyone else's results are garbage also, none of you have data for any of this junk.
I cannot overstate just how many papers were completely fucking destroyed by this experiment. Entire careers of particularly lazy scientists were built on these sorts of experiments. A decent chunk of modern experimental neuropsychology was resting on it. Which shows that science is like everything else -- the best advances are motivated by spite.
Dear Men Writers
Lesser known facts when writing women:
High heeled shoes donât become flats if you break the heels off.
The posts of earrings arenât sharp.
Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
You canât hold in a period like pee.
Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.
Feel free to add your own.
- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.
- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.
- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.
- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.
-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.
- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most canât run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesnât mean âbuy me a drinkâ - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. Â If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it wonât fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.
Yes to all of this. Â But also:
If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back. Â No. Â If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place. Â Furthermore, thereâs probably a canâs worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds. Â Thereâs no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.
This is one of the funniest posts Iâve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing theyâre impossible
^^^This though
The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.
GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC. Â If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models. Â We become squinty.
-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.
-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.
-womenâs nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkinâ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.
if youâre being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebodyâs nipples are, jim butcher
- Wearing a bra that doesnât fit HURTS. Itâs not sexy to wear a bra thatâs âtwo sizes too smallâ, itâd make your clothes hang oddly and youâd have a weird, uncomfortable âquad-boobâ effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.
Also, after removing a too small bra, thereâs gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while
-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.
-Lips arenât just naturally red âas if sheâd been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause sheâs so perfect,â my dear little Kvothe from âName of the Windâ. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, itâs either perfume or something sheâd been eating recently.
Iâve been appreciating this post but now itâs back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I donât think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience
Is it weird that Iâm female and wasnât aware of a solid third of these?
I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I donât know half these things despite being a woman
(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.
Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think âoh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right nowâ. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.
Also: women working out are almost never sexy. Theyâre not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.
I love this post.
I never understood why men feel the need to address all this telltale âfeminineâ awareness when writing women. Like once in grad school one of my male colleagues wrote from a female characterâs POV and was like sure to notice how her feet felt in high heels and all the womenâs lifestyle magazines on the coffee table and also that like, her breasts were âheavyâ or some shit. I write male characters all the time. Not once have I ever stopped to make sure they notice the weight of their own balls or been hyper aware of their chest hair or some bullshit like that. ????? why????????
Love this. Iâve been cackling to myself for good 20 mins reading all the comments as well but the last reblog had me dying like can you imagine!!
âChad was late. He had an important meeting to get to and was mad at himself for oversleeping.
He quickly washed and brushed his teeth and then ran downstairs, his balls bouncing playfully in his pants.
Do I have time to make a coffee? he thought. He decided he did so went into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. As he was waiting, he noticed his thick, curly chest hair was poking through the button gaps of his shirt. He giggled to himself and tucked his manly fuzz back in, hoping it wouldnât happen during the meeting.â
Men, do you see how jarring and stupid this is!?
little guy is one sniff old and seeing so many wonderful things in this big and large world
Not âOnly my reading of canon is correctâ or âInterpretations are subjective and all validâ but a secret third thing, âMore than one interpretation can be valid but thereâs a reason your English teacher had you cite quotes and examples in your papers, you have to have a strong argument that your interpretation is actually supported by the text or it is just wrong and Iâm fine with telling you itâs wrong, actually.â
If the text says the curtains are blue you can argue about what that means; but if youâre going to claim theyâre actually yellow youâd better have a really good argument.
i know the curtains better than the author. thank you for coming to my ted talk
Fandom has such unresolved mommy/daddy issues about authors. If you apply a little reading comprehension skills to my original post youâll see I didnât say anything at all about the author. You guys always make âinterpretationâ about your beef with the author. Youâre all obsessed with the author. This post is just about deciphering what is there in canon. Figuring out what is being communicated by the canon itself with all the words and images and basic formal elements that are there in canon. Thatâs all itâs about. It really doesnât matter if the author intentionally put all those things there in a pattern that might support the idea that this one characterâs queer. Thatâs not what this is about. What matters is if you can compellingly argue thereâs a pattern of evidence there. Or not. Everyone is conspiring together to make me go insane still adding shit about authorial intent on my post.
(mid-divorce) the american education system never taught me how to cherish a woman
(picking up rat that controls me by my hair) but you. you know how
March
starting a collection
violence and death and dying and blood and guts and gore and violence and viscera and fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
The courage to slay a god.