ball of anxiety with a keyboard

writer, artist, wannabe crafter. This blog is a Hot Mess (TM)

[cheezygoddess]

This blog has untagged content that could be upsetting or triggering. This blog might have content unsuitable for minors. Minors should not follow this blog.

[nicholelikewhat]

Via sircilly on Instagram

[sunderwight]

Cursed to be stuck inside this ancient amulet for years but you know I was kind of getting used to it. The solitude had eaten away just enough of my sanity that I'm pretty sure it only would've been a few more days before I started hallucinating some really neat shit.

But then. THEN. This fuckass twink descendant of my mortal enemies picks up my amulet. Takes right out of the sacred chamber. I guess it was finally a ruin now? Worse timing possible, too late to stop me going insane and right before the insanity could pay off.

So some clueless idiot is actually wearing me for the first time in centuries. I'm gonna wreck this dude's shit, I don't care if he is weirdly nice and kind of pretty in the face department. The second I accumulate enough power I'm breaking out of here and making him regret being born.

[sunderwight]

Okay so I did accumulate enough energy that I might have been able to break out, maybe, but also probably not quite just yet. Which is why I had to use it to stop that dragon from killing Captain Fuckwit.

Like I had to do it. If the dragon kills him how am I supposed to be the one to do it? I didn't rot in that sealed chamber for centuries just so that the last living descendant of my most hated enemies could get offed by something that wasn't me. There's no poetic justice in that and also I am NOT owing any dragons any favors.

[sunderwight]

I've been thinking about how I'm going to kill this guy. I mean there's not a lot else to do, I'm still stuck in the amulet so mostly I'm limited to being spooky in his dreams until I suck up some more power. But it's going to happen. I'm out of the sealed chamber now there's so many opportunities and also I'm patient. I've learned to be extremely patient. Would be weird if I hadn't.

Anyway I'm not going to kill him right away. Where's the satisfaction in that? He's the last descendant of my enemies (pretty sure) so of course I gotta drag it out. This is the only revenge I might ever get. I'll have to capture him. Keep him sealed away for a long time, see how he likes it. But like. In a nicer placed than that fucking chamber because unlike some long dead assholes, I have standards. Plus I'm also going to spending a lot of my time there too, menacing him and shit, so it better be nice for me.

I'm thinking summer house on an otherwise uninhabited island. I keep him there where there are no dragons or ogres or demon kings to interrupt, and I tell him all about the shitty things his ancestors did, to like. Demoralize him. So that he knows that even though I'm a scary evil creature that's going to be his ending, he doesn't get as much moral high ground as he'd probably like. I make him eat meals with me just to draw out the tension, and then I give him nightmares, making him twist and writhe in his sweat-soaked sheets while his heart hammers against his ribs and he wonders if this will finally be the night I finish him.

Yeah. Sounds good.

[sunderwight]

Fuck. Turns out there's another one. Descendant of my hated enemies from centuries ago, I mean.

Hope he falls off a cliff.

[sunderwight]

Listen. Giving him command of the remnants of my dark army is just practical right now. I don't have the energy to communicate extensively with them myself, and they'll keep him alive long enough for me to take my elaborate revenge without me constantly having to intervene and sacrifice my own energy to do it. And anyway I have ceremonies to plan, it's going to be amazing, I'm going to round up every last remnant from the old days so that they can witness my final triumph when I claim his life and soul forever.

Also, he used them to humiliate that other fuckass descendant guy. Even I can begrudgingly admit it was pretty well done. Corrupting influence gain! I'm kind of surprised his allies haven't all abandoned him for using dark and sinister forces to save their lives, though, but I guess it's fine if they don't. Sure why not. We can be cool with raising cursed armies in this day and age apparently. Yeah that thing I was sealed away for for centuries is just not a big deal now. Cool cool cool.

[sunderwight]

You know what, I'm going to make his friends come to the ceremony too. So they can also witness my triumph and his utter defeat and subjugation at my hands.

Maybe I'll even let them visit him in his woeful imprisonment afterwards as well. Just to really hammer the point home. They're not the worst company, at least. Not as annoying as heroes used to be. We can have them over for dinner while I lord my victory above their helplessness. Real power move to just let them come and see the guy that they are nevertheless unable to free from my dark clutches.

I guess I better make sure they also don't all die either, if that's the case. It's a good thing I'm patient. So many fucking setbacks!

[sunderwight]

AHAHAHAHA!!!! YES!!! FREEDOM!!! I'm out of the FUCKING amulet!!! At last, nothing stands between me and total domination!!!

The hero is already kneeling, too!!!

[sunderwight]

God fucking dammit.

Those guys were supposed to be dead for centuries! And they're still ruining my life! Fucking. That fuckass other descendant managed to summon them and of course THEY are still not cool with me or my dark forces, although I'm going to be real, they weren't looking too noble and above-aboard themselves when they turned up. That was some hypocritical undead revenant bullshit.

Of course I ended up fighting them. They attacked first! Again! They were even trying to kill their own descendant! And those heinous bitches called me the monster. I've never tried to kill my own descendants. Probably because I don't have any but still. At least try and take over his body first or something!

Well actually they did try it, I think? But that hero of theirs had worn my amulet for so long that he was too corrupted for it to work. Ha!

Small victories.

I'm going to need to hang onto those.

Because now I'm sealed back in the fucking Chamber Eternal again.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING---!!!!

Okay.

Alright.

I'm not going to lie this isn't looking good. I'm not in the amulet anymore but the seals on the chamber are strong, made with the souls of those fuckdamn ancient heroes. All my power is left with their descendant on the outside now. My plans are thwarted. I'm going to languish in this minimalist hell of a chamber until those ancient souls run out of juice, and currently they're forming a dome of spiritual energy so flush with power that the ghosts on the moon can probably see it.

It... it's going to be... I mean. It'll be fine. Back to getting to the good part of going insane, right?

[sunderwight]

You guys are not going to believe how I got out of the chamber.

[sunderwight]

Okay I think I've figured out what's going on.

I was really confused at first because, why would my sworn enemy who I've been plotting vengeance against this entire time free me from the chamber? At great effort and personal risk, no less? That fight was absolutely brutal, I'm not sure I could have even done it myself in his place, and I mean his situation without even bothering was quite good. He had all of my power. His ancestors were likewise distracted with sealing me away. He could have ascended to become the next Dark Lord or, I don't know, ran around doing his Power of Friendship bullshit for the next ten thousand years largely uncontested. Not only does he not have a further use for me but if anything, I present a massive threat to him if I can regain enough strength to take my power back.

But I think that's it! That Power of Friendship bullshit! Somehow, this guy has mistaken me for an ally.

I can work with this.

As long as he doesn't suspect that we're actually enemies, I can bide my time, restore my power, wrestle control of my armies back from his grasp, and then get him back on his knees.

I just need to pretend that I've actually been helping him out this entire time.

[sunderwight]

I really want him back on his knees. That was a good look on him. He's got like super long eyelashes for a dude. Plus you know that's where he belongs, groveling before my might! Mwahahaha!

[sunderwight]

Well this is going surprisingly well. Like I don't think it's even occurred to him to be suspicious of me? He hasn't even tried to drug me with truth serum or test me at a holy spring or drag me in front of any tribunals. When I caught one of his little friends passing information to his rivals he just... took my word for it. I could have been lying. I wasn't, because I was actually expecting him to check, but I could have been.

I'm almost starting to wonder if he really is descended from those ancient hero fuckers, he doesn't act like them at all. The apple must have rolled into a goddamn river and been carried off to sea after it fell off that tree.

This is going to be easier than I thought.

[sunderwight]

Just because I'm pretending to be his ally doesn't mean I can't still sabotage him, of course. That one little traitor might have been a real mole, who is... somehow still in the group, and not beheaded or anything(????). But I'm pretty sure the king's son is genuinely devoted to his brother-in-arms, to my hero-enemy, and hasn't committed any convenient betrayals that I can dig out and wave around to get rid of him. If that even would get rid of him (see: traitor mole still in group). More's the pity.

Such a strong political alliance with the ruling family will further cement my hero's power in this region. Potentially, that will make it even harder to extricate him for my own purposes later on. Of course, it's not worth the risk if I do something too extreme and it gets traced back to me, so I can't simply kill the prince.

But I didn't study medicine at my grandmother's knee just to forget all the useful bits in my dark rise to power. That idiot won't be riding out to adventure alongside his 'sworn brother' tomorrow if he has too many embarrassing rashes to get into his saddle.

This might seem like a petty plot that is beneath me but it's tactically sound. I've thought about it a lot.

[sunderwight]

I hate having no powers. Keep forgetting I can't turn invisible.

I can't believe I'm probably going to get ousted because I was caught putting itching cream in the shithead prince's ointment.

[sunderwight]

Apparently the prince is engaged to a princess from a neighboring kingdom who is also his childhood friend and one true love.

I don't know why people keep bringing that up as if I should care, but they haven't thrown me in a cell yet. So. Okay?

[sunderwight]

Starting to think I could just light this place on fire and everyone here would start apologizing for all the smoke.

[sunderwight]

I take it back these people are abominably over-observant. I'd rather be caught trying to poison the prince again, but the hero's singular suspicious friend, that woman knight, just had to follow me to the abandoned shrine instead.

Cats are one of nature's most successful predators. Properly trained, a dark familiar is an excellent spy and helper, and I am in need of every advantage I can get right now. Everyone knows the best way to ingratiate yourself to animals is to get them young. Feeding kittens is a sinister action.

I mean it's good that it helps my cover that these people think otherwise, it's just that they're wrong. Half of my family was executed for feeding cats. Back in those days everyone knew what was up and nobody cooed about it.

[sunderwight]

Shit, shit, I knew we shouldn't have kept that mole around. Fucking sob story bullshit. The hero's captured. My dark feline army isn't ready! I'm going to have to turn to some other means of regaining him before the enemy steals my power from him. They can't be allowed to do that. It'd kill him but more importantly it would make it that much harder for me to ever reclaim it.

[sunderwight]

HOW FUCKING DARE THEY?!

The only one allowed to strip him and put him in chains is me!!! ME!!! He's mine!!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST TO DO THAT TO HIM!!!

Bastards! Hacks!

I didn't sell my soul to eight different devils to be upstaged by some fuckers who barely grasps the fundamentals of summoning circles. Fuck the low battery I don't need the dark forces of beyond to take these bitches out, their rituals are shit enough I'm going to end them with a piece of chalk and three drops of blood. Hold my fucking beer.

[sunderwight]

Fixed it.

[sunderwight]

Gonna have to rework some of my dungeon/summer home plans. Chains are tacky. Some good enchanted silk rope works just as well.

[sunderwight]

Hero says he needs to reward me for saving him when we get back. I should probably decline whatever it is, that's what all these people seem to do, but I'll at least see what he's offering first. Just in case it's worth cracking my cover for.

[sunderwight]

You guys are not going to believe what the reward turned out to be.

[sunderwight]

I'll have to revise some of these long term plans.

[dajo42]

a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog

[dajo42]

knuckles gamgee

[sonicheritageposts]

sonic heritage post

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

I’ve never seen this one before and it just punched me in the fucking face.

[grieving-angel-hopeful-demon]

Just like Knuckles did to Sonic

[silverjirachi]

[archibaldtuttle]

Forever baffled by the fact that Tim Burton is still thought of as a defender of oddness. He treats monsters as things to be gawked at, to be drawn and imagined, then put away in a safe little box. He doesn't love monsters, he loves freak shows.

[flagellant]

"Tim Burton is a defender of oddness!" Tim Burton can't stand the idea of not treating fat people as carnival freak shows who are usually some flavor of cruel, disgusting, and/or just flat-out evil. He thinks he loves monsters so long as the monsters are coded as conventionally attractive skinny white people.

[dee-the-red-witch]

"But just look at his aesthe-" NO. Look at the ending of every fucking one of his movies. The odd protagonist has a return to normalcy. Every time. Every fucking time. Burton's a surbub boy and deserves his entire aesthetic being stolen by every mallgoth and new indie filmmaker that can steal a camera and write better.

[lakemojave]

He's also like really racist

[faireladypenumbra]

There is something that has always bothered me about Nightmare Before Christmas (aside from the fact that is a children's movie where the plot is 'midlife crisis of adult man') and it is its maintenance of status quo. There is a read of the film where Jack's curiosity and interest in Christmas (his oddness) is punished and put back in its proper place.

Growing up with Burton was fun, but I'm glad we have culturally outgrown his storytelling and direction.

[derrickwildsun-deactivated20250]

That video of Alex Hirsch reading S&P notes for Gravity Falls conveys a few things to me:

1) the U.S. entertainment industry (especially animation) is run by older conservative types who make up offensive terms and get really mad about them.

2) the people who run Disney would be the first to fall in line with a fascist regime.

3) most of the media we consume is tailor-made and watered-down to appeal to the tastes of older, deeply religious conservative audiences.

4) conservatism, not the left, is and always has been the biggest voice of censorship in American culture.

[sci-fantasy]

J. Michael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5, was before that a producer and writer for a number of cartoons in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s (The Real Ghostbusters and the original She-Ra, most notably). After a few years of dealing with the censors and their obsession with finding Satanism (or at least looking for Satanism to further political agendas) he wrote an article about the whole corrupt and bullshit system.

And published it in Penthouse, to force those same censors to buy a skin mag. The editor there asked, why Penthouse?

That one is from his autobiography, Becoming Superman. See also:

(As he goes on to say, he’s never worked in animation again–he’s effectively been blacklisted by the cartoon industry.)

[ivy-michaels]

Every time something like this comes up, I remember two stories about making media. The first is about movies, and comes from Quentin “Feet Man” Tarantino.

When he was making Pulp Fiction, he was worried that the MPAA would object to the high level of violence in the film, so he shot a bunch of extra-gory stuff that he didn’t actually want in the film, and added it in before submitting it to the MPAA. Predictibly, they asked him to cut most of it (without even commenting on some of the things that had him worried, like the bits of Marvin’s skull that lodge in Samuel L. Jackson’s hairpiece). The resultant cuts were actually more permissive than he’d expected, so he cut a little more and submitted it, and it got passed with an R.

The second story is about that artist on Morrowind whose name escapes me (I’m not a big ES fan tbh) who figured out that if he made two creature designs, one weird and what he wanted, and one even weirder, he could get Todd Howard to agree to just about anything by showing him the whopper first, then going back and “working” for another few hours on a second, “toned-down” version, and it worked every time.

The reason I bring these up is that the thing that drives censors isn’t some extant physical rubrick of what is and isn’t acceptable, it’s the idea that they can have absolute power over someone else’s creative work. It’s about the social dominance of the interaction.

There is nothing so innocent, so clean, that a censor will not find some fault with it. Because they must find something wrong with it to justify their existence, and because it makes them feel powerful.

This is true of all censorship.

[argumate]

love the genre of discourse that’s like “the world used to be [thing it never was] but now society is [I’m over thirty]”

[inphront]

evergreen post

[randomishnickname]

@captainjonnitkessler

[yourrottingwife]

SIMPLE GUIDE:

Body Horror: Things that cannot happen in real life. EX: The Thing, stomach mouths, eyes on hands, etc

Gore: Fresh injuries, often severe. EX: Severed leg, gutspill, deep gashes, etc

NEITHER: Healed injuries and burns, congenital differences, missing appendages, etc. If I could theoretically go to the store and see that character browsing the isles- It isn't body horror or gore. That's just a person. *AND the amount of people that tag, not just fictional characters, but real human beings as body horror is staggering. Its not solely a fandom issue, ableism and bigotry against anyone that looks sufficiently "different" is prevalent in real life and has devastating consequences.

(Modified) from my comment left on this post.

[yourrottingwife]

Adding:

Self harm scars are not body horror.

Pregnant people are not body horror.

Burn scars are not body horror, that includes chemical burn scars.

Prosthetics are not body horror.

NOT having prosthetics is also not body horror.

There is no disability aid that is body horror.

Congenital differences + disabilities are not body horror.

AND acquired differences + disabilities are also not body horror.

Real people are not body horror.

If you are uncomfortable or scared because someone looks different than you that is YOUR PROBLEM. It is your responsibility to get over it, or at the very least not make it everyone else's issue. Play the quiet game.

[demilypyro]

it's funny how "press F to pay respects" was such a gigantic meme that it seems to have permanently affected the way we talk online. people use it completely genuinely and unironically. had a bad day? F. died in a videogame? F. I see it constantly in Discord, Twitch and ingame chats. like it's actually being used as common shorthand. when it only gained prominence because of how hilariously stupid this screenshot is

[homoidiotic]

"Twenty One Things You Don't Say To A Transsexual" written by Riki Anne Wilchins in TransSisters : The Journal Of Transsexual Feminism (Winter 1994)

[jessaerys]

what in the world are "pity likes" you guys are inventing new ways to be insecure. every like i give is a like with my whole pussy

[renthony]

It's wild to watch the phrase "tumblr sexyman" morph into "man that tumblr thinks is sexy," because when I first saw the phrase come into use, I always saw it used in reference to the phenomenon of "when presented with a wide array of fictional characters, tumblr will always pick the skinny white man to obsess over, and if the fan-favorite character has no canonical human appearance, the fandom will inevitably create a popular fanon of the character as as a skinny white man."

When I hear "tumblr sexyman," I think of Cecil Night Vale being constantly depicted as a skinny white man instead of literally anything else. I think of the background character white men who get elevated over protagonists that are women, people of color, or otherwise not the white man power fantasy.

"Tumblr sexyman" is, like. An insult. I DON'T want any of my blorbos to win a "tumblr sexyman" poll. "Tumblr sexyman" is the exact opposite of what I want my own OCs to be. If any of my characters ever get called "tumblr sexyman," I will have to immediately re-evaluate myself and the art I'm making.

[toodrawtothink]

Still one of the best animations I've ever done. Took just under a week and was equal parts fun and challenging. So here are some process passes! The full version had too many colors so I had to do some compression T0T

As always, no ai.

[feaftlikeabeaft]

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

[the-uncanny-dag]

Sister post to The Vitamin

[drinksomefuckingwater]

drink some fucking water

[psychedelicmoonpie]

My favourite Adrian headcanon is that they're a biologist/zoologist who has seen so much shit, they're completely unphased by any and every alien habit of Grace's.

I mean full-on khaki-shorts-wearing, traversing-wilderness-with-nothin'-but-a-machete Adrian who yoinks snakes outta trees and pets swamp puppies and will unflinchingly dig around in elephant faeces for signs of a rare parasitic tapeworm if needed.

Oh, humans eat socially? No problem, Adrian has observed many many animals eat. Did you know that an obscure species of small underground dirt creature from the north side of Erid also eats socially? Adrian can give you a not-so-short presentation on them.

Oh, the human has no external carapace and so its internal sounds are absurdly loud, wet and off-putting? No problem, Adrian was just conducting an expedition last month researching the incredible eridian animal, the Wet Loud Worm from the south-east region of Wet Loud Wormland. They're desensitised, it's fine.

Oh, Grace leaks often from many orifices and it can be a bit of a learning curve to get used to? No problem for Adrian, see Wet Loud Worm paragraph again!

Meanwhile, Rocky is bewildered as to how he's managed to third-wheel both of his relationships, because both Adrian and Grace are nerds who nerd out about things, and Adrian is shaking in their carapace with enthusiasm to learn more about human culture and biology, not to mention everything about earth animals. And yeah, sure, Grace might be a molecular biologist, but he'll be damned if he'll pass up an opportunity to learn about alien fauna from a fellow scientist, and yes, Adrian, he'd love to hear about the small underground dirt creature from the north side of Erid, and he's so excited to learn more about the Wet Loud Worm, do go on.

[the-grey-hunt]

#zoologist adrian would be absolutely captivated by the concept of Plants. erid doesn't have those#you mean your atmosphere is so clear your entire planet has ground level sunlight and there's an entire subsection of life#defined by their ability to turn it into energy... because the rest of it DOESN'T? sure you synthetize vitamin d out of it#but that's nothing#saviour grace why don't you photosynthesize question? skill issue question?

[royalhandmaidens]

flying as a hijabi (alone this time) and the guy next to me is talking really loudly about bin laden and killing terrorists and making deliberate eye contact with me the entire time

why are ppl like this???

[royalhandmaidens]

and it’s only because i’m alone - having a 6’4” bulky built husband usually makes people swallow whatever nasty comments they may have

[royalhandmaidens]

jokes on him because a flight attendant overheard him and upgraded my seat

go stew in your anger in economy, peasant

[royalhandmaidens]

flight attendant came and slipped me this, bless her soul

[royalhandmaidens]

alhamdulillah safely home and very appreciative of the kind flight crew who looked after me

but i do want to take a moment to remind everyone that people with the intention to do evil or make their hate known almost always go after those who are perceived as vulnerable. it’s no surprise to me that things like this happen almost exclusively when i am alone and an easier target. hijabis especially, being so visible. to my hijabi girlies, remember to stay aware of your surroundings and practice safe travel habits. to my friends on here, it pays to be vigilant as well and to help watch the backs of those around you if you’re able

this stuff happens a lot more often than you’d think, unfortunately, and the most we can do is to try and be as safe as we can and watch out for each other

[landunderthewave]

If you experience someone ranting at a fellow passenger, one great non-confrontative strategy is to act like you know each other from way back when and are having a chance encounter. Like "Ooooh, what a surprise to see you here! How are you doing??" This will also allow you to brush past the aggressor.

[royalhandmaidens]

yes!!! this!!!

someone has done this for me before and it really does work! de-escalation is always safest for both you and those around you if it’s manageable and this is one of the best ways to do it!

[whatbigotspost]

In case anyone wants to learn more bystander tips and deescalation techniques , Right To Be (formerly Hollaback) has good resources and trainings, covering the 5Ds:

Distract

Delegate

Document

Delay

Direct