[akindplace]

I’ve been reframing thoughts from “they could do it, but I can’t because I’m not good enough” to “they could do it and so can I because we’re both humans just trying our best”, or from “I can’t show up unless I’m perfect” to “I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to show up”, or from “the future is hopeless” to “there is hope even if I can’t see it”, or from “I will always feel this bad” to “everything is temporary”, or from “it is taking too much time to get better” to “it took time to get sick, it will take some time and patience to get better”.

But that reframing takes time too. It takes effort. It takes doing little things to make yourself feel better even when at first doing those things seems silly. Sometimes, you will fall off track, but you will get back up on your progress after resting as much as you need. Remember that this is about progression and not perfection. Remember it takes time, it takes a lot of trying, grieving, self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, but it is worth it, because little by little, you start to change, you start to get better. Don’t hold yourself to the highest of standards in your recovery, please keep in mind that you deserve to enjoy life, that you deserve to heal, that you deserve this progress, even if you’re not doing it perfectly, even if it seems slow, even if at first it feels hard to believe that you deserve good things. You don’t have to earn your healing by being perfect at it. Take your time. Rest if you must. But keep going, you’re doing great just by trying.

[07242024-deactivated20240725]

um *finds happiness despite it all*

[akindplace]

Why romanticize depression when you can romanticize recovery, learning how to enjoy things again, trying to forgive yourself and build a life you are satisfied with

[sadiepickles]

My advince on getting happier once you've gotten past the hurdles of unlearning negative self talk and shame is to actively comment on when you're happy. I do this many times a day. Worrying about the future steals your joy in the present. When you sit on a couch under a heated blanked reading memes, a simple acknolwedgement of "I am very happy right now" is the type of comment that will reclaim your joy.

[positivityadvocate-deactivated2]

[this-road-to-hell]

My therapist: just because you made a plan doesn’t mean you’ll always follow it perfectly, and that’s okay. It’s better to follow a plan cursorily than not at all.

Me, sobbing: THAT WAS AN OPTION???

[abcsofadhd]

Oh, this is super important.

⠀

When trying new coping strategies or learning a new habit, you’ll fail. Possibly many many times.

But that’s alright! No one just PICKS it up immediately. 

⠀

You’re trying to learn to do it sometimes, and then occasionally, and then more often than not, and finally every time!

Similarly, you might fail in any plan or timetable you’re trying to use.

But that’s alright! 

As OP’s therapist said, it doesn’t have to be perfect! In fact, no one can pick it up immediately. 

⠀

Doing things OCCASIONALLY is better than not doing it at all.

Doing things LATE is better than not doing it at all.

Doing things PARTIALLY is better than not doing it at all.

[kipplekipple]

Also don’t aim for perfection. Just aim for as best you can, ideally a little better than last time. But? There will be ups and downs. That isn’t a flaw in you or your techniques, it’s just how people work.

[flowercrowncrip]

We are allowed to hate the side-effects of our meds

We are allowed to find our carers irritating to be around

We are allowed to find assistive technology awkward

We are allowed to find and mobility aids annoying and uncomfortable

Performing gratitude all of the time is exhausting, disabled people are allowed to be human

[free-my-mindd]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[starinthemaking]

Constantly on my mind

[artofdyingslowly]

enemies to lovers but with myself

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

[creamypancakebatter]

this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks

[girl-that-writes]

One day, you'll be singing your favourite songs at the top your lungs as you swing around your house to its beat. One day you'll look back at the battle you are fighting today and think about how you overcame them all. One day you'll be at peace with yourself. Please hang on until you see that day.

[selfcaremyselfcare]

[crystaldragon1997]

[demonprincex]

How Do I Become Less Obedient?

Autistic Advice#12: Noncompliance is a liberating social skill - but it must be developed.

If you’ve never been all that disobedient before, you can and should start really, really small. For example, you can wear the slightly revealing or gloriously trashy-looking garment that makes your mom roll her eyes and sigh despondently every time she sees you put it on. You will feel judged and disapproved of when you put it on, but that is fine. Your goal is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and continue with your desired behavior anyway.  Saunter down the steps in that highlighter-yellow Garfield crop top with your chest hair flowing over the neckline, and harness as much courage as you can muster. It’s okay if you feel like a beacon of sin. Just keep it moving. Your emotions are not the target here. Your behavior is. You can feel however you are feeling in the moment so long as you keep acting like you’re free.  Do you have a favorite TV show that a partner or roommate vocally hates? Try watching that show around them without apologizing or defensively joining them in mocking the program. At first, you probably won’t be able to enjoy the show while in their presence. You’ll feel self-conscious about everything they find annoying or cringe-inducing about the show, and so focused on their reactions that you can’t relax. That’s okay. Allow those feelings of embarrassment and guilt to exist and pass through you without giving up. In time, you will be able to ignore these reactions more, and enjoy the activity.  You want to see the needle of discomfort moving down just a little, like Link’s body temperature meter in Tears of the Kingdom when he puts on a breathable outfit in a hot climate. You’re not gonna go from roiling hot to frosty cold in an instant. But after a certain point, you won’t be actively in pain anymore. Things are just gonna slowly suck less, bit by bit, until they are finally okay. That’s true of most major life adjustments, I find.  Probably the best way to develop self-advocacy skills while growing in your distress tolerance is simply by telling other people no. Do this without explanation or hedging. Nitpicky aunt wants to hear all about your dating life? “No, I don’t want to talk about that.” Unreliable ex-friend wants you to do them the tiny favor of moving their entire home gymnasium into a new third story walk-up? “No, I’m not available.” Manipulative shift supervisor wants to cajole you into sticking around for another three hours to close? “No.”  As many advice columnists smarter than me have already intoned, “no” is a complete sentence. “No” requires no explanation. “No” is not subject to debate. “No” can be repeated over and over like a broken record if a disrespectful person acts like they can’t hear it. And you can walk away at any time to make your “no” physical and impossible to argue with, when someone has proven they don’t respect your boundaries. 

you can read or listen to the full piece for free here

[demonprincex]

Feeling unsafe is not the same thing as actually being under threat — and if we mask and people-please reflexively, we are likely treating many completely harmless situations of disagreement as if they were mortal threats. It’s important to learn to distinguish between a situation where you have no freedom to speak up, and one where you can live authentically as yourself, and simply get more comfortable with not pleasing everyone. So in any situation where you are free to, try saying “no” and riding out how scary it might feel.  When you first say “no” without explanation or apology, you will feel anxiety. That’s okay. In fact, you should pat yourself on the back for reaching the borders of your comfort zone. It is in this area of unfamiliar, slightly scary, yet possible action that we are able to grow.  You might panic the first time you tell your spouse you’re not cooking dinner every night anymore, and he’ll have to figure out the meal planning himself, or the first time you let a call from a manager go unanswered while you’re off the clock. Great! You are training your body to recognize that nothing bad happens when somebody is a little peeved at you. You’re detaching your sense of safety from another person’s feelings, and tearing apart that enmeshment hurts the way ripping off a band-aid does. 

[sweatermuppet]

[shaking myself by the shoulders] i will get better. i will continue. i have no goddamn choice

[recomvery]

Stop thinking: "How can I stop feeling like that?" And start thinking: "How can I cope with this feeling? What could I do to support myself in this situation?" Find coping skills that you like and that work well for you. Try cozy gaming, drawing, tea, working out, a hot and cold shower, journaling, sour candy.