Hello, world!!

I'm lost, just trying to find my little niche in this foreign tumblrscape :)

[thedankmemes]

[chris-mangafr34k]

Even though I barely knew you, miss ya Nick

[chris-mangafr34k]

Pothos: "Moisture, plz?"

Me: "You get one moisture."

Pothos: "Sunlight, plz?"

Me: "Hmmm.... you get one sunlight."

*proceeds to aggressively grow a 3ft long tendril*

[tisorridalamor]

Describing Terry Pratchett’s books is difficult. Someone asked me what the book I was reading was about, and I had to tell them it was about banking and the gold standard, but like in a cool way with golems and action. 

 I don’t think they believed me.

[poorlydescribedpterrybooks]

welcome to the club

[amatalefay]

It is so, so difficult to explain to people that your favorite book is about transgender feminist dwarves, Nazi werewolves, and the mystery of a missing piece of really old ritual bread. And Opera saves the day.

[poorlydescribedpterrybooks]

yes, give us those sweet, sweet, terrible descriptions

[rhys1812]

A tortoise who’s really a god, finds an allegory for Jesus and they go on adventures in an ancient greece like place and then a desert 

[thesummoningdark]

The chief of police averts a rerun of an ancient war, partially despite and partially because of being possessed by a dying dwarf’s graffiti

[nightfoot]

It’s like Les Miserables but Javert is the good guy and also there’s time travel.  

[aethersea]

Macbeth but it’s about the witches

[zephyrantha]

Chapter one, the protagonist is hanged. Then he’s put in charge of the post office. Yes, in that order.

[roachpatrol]

it’s like mulan if there were way more mulans in mulan and also pratchett is extra irritated that too many people missed the point of jingo

[hypotheticalwoman]

The bureaucrats of the universe get annoyed at the paperwork humanity causes so they decide to steal Christmas.  Replacement Christmas is done by Death and replacement Death is done by goth Mary Poppins, who is also in charge of the investigation.

[katedrawscomics]

these are all nice and accurate reasons to read discworld if you haven’t yet

[uovoc]

Romeo and Juliet football AU but the other team is wizards

[animate-mush]

Hollywood????

[garrettauthor]

An entire clan of tattooed, hairy, kleptomaniac, alcoholic Scotsmen decide a little girl is their new best friend whether she wants to be or not and she rescues her absolutely worthless brother by discovering the power of selfishness.

[darkravn]

@cosmictwobyfour

[nudityandnerdery]

Someone is dying, journalism is being invented, and part of Pulp Fiction is going on in the background.

[pimpmizziriam]

The universes burocrats want to measure everything so they pay a man to imprison time so everything will stop and they can measure things in peace. Goth mary Poppins saves the day, the fifth horseman of the apocalypse is the best Milkman in the world, and chocolate saves the day. Also someone was born twice.

[tanoraqui]

Classic dynastic machinations are happening in fantasy China, to be completely overturned by a gang of elderly barbarian heroes and the world’s worst wizard and best sprinter

[bailesu]

Death incarnate battles a shopping cart for the fate of the world.  

[sashathephoenix]

@grifalinas

[grifalinas]

Phantom of the Opera au, except there’s witches, a cookbook that is thinly-veiled pornography, and Christine is played by a fledgeling witch with multiple personalities who can’t stop being sensible long enough to enjoy herself

[letslipthehounds]

Hidden heir to the throne decides an cynical, alcoholic cop is the best role model in the world.

[brawltogethernow]

Atlantis provides an excuse for a xenophobia-inspired war between Britain and the Middle East but it’s fine because the armies are arrested for conspiracy to cause public nuisance.

[numberlover1729]

the jfk assassination is parodied in the above.

Rain is brought to australia by a lousy wizzard who runs from dropbears, steals a sheep, and invents vegamite

[dduane]

(sigh)(smile) All of the above.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

A wizard goes to Australia and is hunted down by a bunch of other wizards trying to cure an ape of the ‘flu.

[baggebythesea]

What if a fantasy story took itself seriously and asked follow up questions?

[tp9829]

Man goes on holiday and incidentally ends slavery with the power of Opera.

[bigolechompers]

the rats are unionized and they run a scam with a cat and a little boy

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

[unbotheredmuse]

[chaosthedemon]

[agentsofoakenshiield]

[madtechnomage]

The Crushing Weight of Not Knowing If There Is a Task

[as-if-and-only-if]

im starting to think this crushing weight is not about the tasks

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Hey, y'all! I've just released my newest quarterly chapbook into the world! It's Not Just About the Poison: How to Keep Your Foraging Safe and Fun is where I let my anxiety think of all sorts of things that could go wrong while you're foraging--and then give you ways to minimize those risks.

If you thought the only danger associated with foraging was eating the wrong mushroom or berry, think again! While foraging is growing in popularity, foraging guides often focus more on listing edible plants and fungi than practical considerations like safety. This chapbook is a detailed look at how foraging can go wrong–and what to do about it. Topics include:

Risks Associated with Foraging

How to Mitigate All Those Risks

Before You Eat That…

If Something Goes Wrong

And More!

Consider this book a complement to your field guides and other foraging books. While it won’t absolutely guarantee your safety out in the field, it’s a good starting point to assessing and preparing for potential issues before they happen to you.

You can pick up a paperback for $6 or an ebook for $3 at https://rebeccalexa.com/foraging-safely/ - or if you want the ebook for free, sign up for my monthly email newsletter at https://rebeccalexa.com/news-updates/!

[passionpeachy-deactivated202312]

mushroom sprites & faeries 🍄

[em0bussy]

I've been seeing mushroom foraging (specifically puffball mushrooms) going viral lately so here are some reminders:

ALWAYS take a verified guide book along with you. Make sure it is written by an actual author and not AI as well as the accuracy of the content. Always rely on multiple books/online sources when going out foraging. Ideally, revise your mushrooms beforehand (still take a book with you)

Don't grab every puffball you see, this will cause a massive species loss and could possibly make the poor thing endangered. Make sure to see laws regarding mushroom foraging or set a weekly limit.

BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL! Mushrooms can be hosts to much more poisonous fungi. Make sure to check news on local flora and fauna, seek guidance from a professional or see if you can buy local produce and support local farmers.

Make sure to enjoy it and have fun!

[chris-mangafr34k]

#useful advice

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[liarsblade]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[liarsblade]

[a-potato-of-death]

[thedankmemes]

[anxiousangerball]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

[zooophagous]

There's a lot of dumb ass animal cruelty takes in general but my favorite is the people who think you need to force sled dogs to pull.

Have you ever walked a dog before in your entire life? They love to pull. They're the pullingest damn things you ever saw. They'll merrily rip your rotator cuff in half like a phone book for the chance to stick their own face into a pile of old feces. They'll drag you down the road while you go through all 5 stages of grief trying to make them stop.

There are hundreds of products on the market promising to get ordinary non sled dogs to stop pulling their hapless owners down the road and spilling their iced coffees. People have gone so far as to use electric collars to try and zap sense into their poor stupid labradoodle that wants nothing more but to suicidally pull itself and everyone it loves into the snarling maw of the nearest leash reactive pit bull.

A dog that's allowed to pull, nay, encouraged to pull, is probably the most self actualized animal on the planet right after seagulls that live somewhere with food stands outdoors.

[carnelianfoxx]

Hi Elon: please add a decreasing counter bar in the corner of the screen so I know how many posts left I can view. Because having a health bar on twitter would be the only funny thing you can do right now

[afloweroutofstone]

Sorry to everyone who’s enjoyed the last 130 years of science and culture journalism, but Disney needs the money to fund Toy Story 9

[catchymemes]

[spelldealer]

do you guys wanna see the cake i just made

[spelldealer]

what am I saying, of course you do

[spelldealer]

the mushrooms are made out of egg whites, sugar, vanilla, and cocoa powder! they taste almost exactly like toasted marshmallows

[gallusrostromegalus]

Mushreingues!