Friendly Neighborhood Cryptid

I'm here, I'm queer, and I could be anywhere.

[ciaranshade]

Y'all, if a potential workplace brags about treating their workers "like family," fucking run.

[ciaranshade]

Help, I forgot what the tool they use to do intrauterine ultrasounds is called and mentally referred to it as a +1 Dildo of Seeing.

[malewifenat]

What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

[captainlordauditor]

same energy

[princesskuragina]

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[catradoraism]

[thousandfoottallowl]

there’s more

[snenby-with-two-daggers]

[0palite]

[hulking-godless-child-beast]

[augustdementhe]

SIGH

[i-restuff]

here’s another one

[daeva-agas]

IT GETS WORSE WITH EVERY ADDITION

[elamikaaa]

how does this get even worse

[moontideempress]

I think about once in a while…

[chamomiletea-baggins]

We have another one…

[notemily]

[zenon-karr]

This is the internet now tho 😭💀

[sigridlaufeyson]

@lifeistooshorttowasteyourtime @marril96 @latent-thoughts @suometar

😂😂😂

[latent-thoughts]

Omg so many additions since I last saw this post! 😂😂😂

[rosalysaoirse]

It’s funny but incredibly telling how entitled/ignorant/insensitive some of these people are… idk if it’s an education gap or purposeful ignorance.

[mastreworld]

The really bewildering thing to me is that I remember when you needed to get up and pull a dictionary off the shelf, or visit a library to look up the facts you needed. Now people have all kinds of information literally at their fingertips and they can’t be bothered to use it.

[wolfpawn]

Oh dear gods, it’s gotten worse

[fierceawakening]

When you know politics but no facts

[anarchistmemedistro]

don’t take people too seriously on the internet

[captaindibbzy]

This hits different when combined with that “Americans don’t learn other countries exist till they’re in 5th Grade” post from the other day.

[dzamie]

Demily recently got another one lads

Also, I love that, in the sign language one, it seems like the last image might’ve been a gif of “fuck you,” screenshot at the perfect time to let you know they were about to sign “fuck you”

[rickhunolt-deactivated20260329]

As a romanian person I gotta add this one too

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is my favourite post on this website

I have literally had people tell me that I’m a gross appropriator for learning sign language while not deaf.

I sometimes cannot speak, but leaving that aside, what the FUCK lol

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I still remember the guy who got mad at me because I spoke about the cultural role of the Norse gods in my life and my culture and insisted that I should be “proud of my Christian heritage instead” and quite simply would not believe me when I told him I was from Scandinavia because “that doesn’t exist anymore.”

[hugtheteadrinkthekitten]

someone please edit that map of europe with the spain void to also have a void for the whole of scandinavia

[dduane]

Every now and then I just have to reblog this.

(while particularly loving: “Gender of the Day: Wales”)

(also “Port O’Rico”)

[yeomanrand]

“You can’t ofload your boat there, man. That’s Rico’s Port. Yeah, Port o’Rico!”

[the-haiku-bot]

“You can’t ofload your

boat there, man. That’s Rico’s Port.

Yeah, Port o’Rico!”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[irishironclad]

Some additions

[mightyoctopus]

Blind Tumblr users: don’t get the latest iOS app update!

I just updated my tablet to the newest version of the tumblr app for iOS and it completely broke screen reader access for both VoiceOver and Spoken Content. This has happened in the past already, so I will file a support ticket and copy-paste my text from last time, but this really sucks. I sincerely hope this doesn’t affect all screen reader users, but I’m unsure how they could program this bug in a way it only affects me. If you rely on a screen reader to use the tumblr app, I’d advice to not get the latest update to be on the safe side.

When I say “completely broke access”, what I mean is that no posts on my dash or on individual blogs get read or recognized at all. No plain text, alt text, tags, etc. Note count and buttons still work though.

If you also run into this bug, here’s my advice. If anyone has something more useful, please tell me

File a support ticket and report this bug

Use the browser web version, which still works for me

Interestingly, if you save a post to your drafts and click on “edit” the post text seems to get read correctly. This might be a work-around for some people.

If you have the latest version but your screen reader didn’t break, also please tell me! I would be fascinated to know if this bug is only affecting some people

TL;DR: The latest tumblr app update for iOS made it so screen readers no longer work in the app

Please boost!

[shrimpy-in-wonderland]

Some Queenie fo today

[sapphicgardensinmymind]

i’ve never seen a mouse that looks so much like a mouse before

[ciaranshade]

Reading where someone's reblogged one of your posts, so you go back and read it, and you realize all the spelling "errors" you made because of Autocorrect, and now you're worried about how many people have seen said errors and judged you.

[tchaikovskaya]

had to be there i guess

[arvethli]

I told y'all it was a pun

A very long thread on it: https://twitter.com/lmrwanda/status/1505646738627088389?t=06aHTTZkf1ZaJyCDhWUzTg&s=19

And the punchline, if anyone wants to jump there directly: https://twitter.com/lmrwanda/status/1505648702119202823?t=IHkQWeElTa0T63o3lbr12Q&s=19

[honeylazors]

[fierceawakening]

that's excellent

[thisarenotarealblog]

cracking open a cold one with the sumerian dog

[dracula61]

[domina-honoribila]

Quick question, do you all still understand each other?

[kira-serialfaggot]

Why?

[the-lumpfish-queen]

¿Qué?

[ciaranshade]

Nani?

[marxandangels]

[jkl-fff]

Strange that it never occured to me. There are times I've been so upset that I've stamped around while cussing, that I've lain flat on the floor and groaned for as long as I had breath, that I've ranted my frustration aloud in an unhinged monologue, that I've swung my limbs about in a fury. All until I'd vented enough to just ... resume my normal life.

And if I'd had not the privacy of my home, I'd either have had to bottle that all up ... or open it all up where the public could scrutinize my every move. It really is a privilege to not be constantly on display like that.

[allsadnshit]

One of the most profound messages I think you can learn as a people pleaser in recovery is that even if you police yourself every single moment as to not offend anyone and to be generally likable, some people will hate you and want you to be unhappy anyways simply because they can inflict harm and want to so you really might as well voice your opinions and live life loud and proud so you can attract people who will love you and understand you too

[jewishevelinebaker]

Teen girls reading this, if you feel a calling to write fanfiction about a teen girl being transported to a fictional world, go for it. If you want to write about a teen girl being adopted by your favorite characters or joining the fellowship of the ring or becoming a knight, please do.

We should be encouraging kids to be creative and practice writing, an important life skill, not discouraging it because we find teens acting like teens to be cringe.

[play-now-my-lord]

anyone who tries to control who you associate with does not have your best interests at heart. it's a three-strike system for me; once might be just beef, twice (or pushback on once) is a bad sign but not worth cutting someone off over; three times (or pushback on two) and they're up to some shit i want nothing to do with

[play-now-my-lord]

people are way, way too casual about this shit. there are whole little subcultures here where the big fish get to declare collective enemies for the entire group and nobody who follows them around or depends on them for community can have a relationship with them. that's at least abusive, at worst the social bedrock of a small cult. don't get suckered into it

[baba-fett]

Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

[paranormal-taters]

specifically this kind of bonk.

[dduane]

PSA: *Beware* AI-generated fungi guudebooks!!

…Not a phrase I imagined myself typing today. But, via @heyMAKWA on Twitter:

“i'm not going to link any of them here, for a variety of reasons, but please be aware of what is probably the deadliest AI scam i've ever heard of:

“plant and fungi foraging guide books. the authors are invented, their credentials are invented, and their species IDs will kill you”

…So please be careful if you run across anything of this kind.

[teaboot]

“I knew you were Autistic, but I still talked to you like a normal person!”

Listen I appreciate the sentiment there friend but I don’t think hearing you say it like that is the lofty honor you think it is

[teaboot]

Like I’m not sure how to break this to you but I do see myself as a normal person, and hearing you imply that you’ve been Playing Along With My Delusion all this time kind of makes me feel like two poorly-disguised children in a trench coat trying to sneak into an R-rated movie called Dignity And Respect

[secifosseluce]

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

[secifosseluce]

normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast

*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*

normal person: walking faster 

[secifosseluce]

even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so

kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:

 moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳

Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :) 

her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this: 

[bargains-by-duckface]

This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.

[secifosseluce]

literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten

[moonsterm]

that means the angels are babysitters then

[moonsterm]

here have more

[patricia-von-arundel]

You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.

[frikinnerd]

Always reblog Cryptid Jesus

[moonsterm]

I made more. cause it’s fun

[crap-copper]

I love that you guys used their actual names

[roane72]

I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.

[amatalefay]

“Hi, I’m auditioning for Macbeth and I’ll be singing “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King’.”

[amatalefay]

oh my god what happened here

this is an 8-year-old post why is it getting notes again

YOU

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

eheheheheheeheheheheheh