The Hobbit Masterlist – Bilbo x Thorin
A Fruitful Headache — 3.1k
Bilbo is supposed to be meeting Thorin for a second date, but is instead, waiting in the Emergency Room with a minor head injury caused by shopping in the home baking section. He calls to rearrange the date but his predicament turns into rather a fruitful evening, if you excuse the pun.
A Smith and his Forge — 157k
Bilbo's door gets jammed one day. Luckily, a company of dwarves just so happened to have set up shop in front of the old smithy.
A Spoonful of Sugar — 23k
Thorin the baker may or may not have fallen in love with the golden-haired man who walks past his store each morning.
Chocolates and Marshmallows — 24k
A modern with some fantastical elements au and how Bilbo and Thorin get together after their confessions during Valentine's Day and White Day.
The Curious Relations of One Bilbo Baggins — 33k
Life in the Blue Mountains could be good...but there is a plot determined to end the line of Durin. Starting with the line's children.
Now for their own safety they must be taken away from the only home they've ever known leaving their Mother and Uncle behind and with Dwalin as their fierce and loyal protector. The wilds are not kind to them and their bellies soon grow empty and Dwalin is desperate to keep them and their location safe.
They find themselves in Bree and in Bree they meet what may be their hope for happiness.
Bilbo Baggins and his ward Frodo Baggins.
Upon the death of his cousins, Bilbo Baggins left his life in London behind to care for his orphaned nephew, Frodo, in Boston. After more than five years, Bilbo has accepted his quiet life of cooking and writing. When Frodo's professor appears at his door one day in need of a chaperone for the senior class trip to Erebor, Bilbo discovers that he might have one more adventure in him. Meanwhile, Thorin Oakenshield has devoted every day of the last twenty years to his family's kingdom; fifteen of them were spent in exile and the last five have been spent toiling to repair S.M.A.U.G.'s damage. Despairing of his heirs and hounded by his friends to look to his own happiness, Thorin believes that Erebor is the only comfort he needs.
Bilbo Baggins is a disappointment. To himself, to the family he still talks to, to his supervisors, to his past professors, and, hell, even to the bank employee that helped him secure the loans he needed for his undergrad. He has failed them all, in his mind. All of these thoughts come to mind as he stands at the front gate of his new place of work. His head falls back and his eyes read the ginormous, blocky letters above him: Gondor Zoo & Aquarium.
Thorin Durin is the lead vocalist and guitarist for the heavy metal band, Ironbeard. When a crazed fan starts threatening his life, band manager Balin, hires Bilbo Baggins from Guardian Security to be his bodyguard.
Inspired and persuaded by friends and family, Bilbo Baggins quits his boring job and opens a quiet little café with a rainbow sticker in the window – everybody’s welcome. He doesn’t expect it to become a safe comfortable place for a very protective and paranoid family, who happen to run the biggest gay club in town. He’s not complaining though, not when Thorin looks at him like that.
Living After Midnight — 59k
“Tell me, what sort of music do you listen to?” Thorin asks him, raising an eyebrow. “Do you prefer glam or thrash?”
“I—what? Simon & Garfunkel is my favorite band. I like The Smiths if I’m in a bit of a strop, Bowie if I’m feeling adventurous, I suppose,” Bilbo answers, aware there might be a note of snark coloring his words because, well. He was set up, meant to sound like a fool no matter how he answered, and he does not appreciate rude conversational traps like that. He does not appreciate anything about this situation. He does not appreciate the small, crooked, tight-lipped smile that flashes across Thorin’s face at his response, and he does not appreciate the way it makes his stomach drop.
or,
After his eccentric advisor deliberately botches Bilbo's housing application, he is forced to sublet a room with thirteen metal heads living in a condemned frat. He barely expects to survive the journey, let alone fall in love.
May Your Forge Burn Bright — 108k
Thorin labors as a blacksmith within the world of men to support his family and the other displaced dwarves of Erebor. Change comes to his monotonous routine when the smithy he works in unexpectedly comes under a hobbit’s management.
Thorin is a well known artist living a secluded life in the Swiss Alps. Bilbo is a former history professor living in a trauma rehabilitation centre after a devastating accident that took his parents lives. Through a mutual friend, Bilbo finds himself in Switzerland, and Thorin finds himself with company for the next few months, and neither of them are prepared for what that will bring.
Thorin sat in a bookstore reading to his nephews. He struggled to read the foreign English text, but he would do anything to please his nephews. Including humiliating himself in front of a cute man with a small boy of his own.
Thorin Durin, forced from his home in war-torn Erebor, struggles to adapt to England’s language and customs. Bilbo offers to help, and amongst many a cultural confusion, their relationship quickly grows beyond simple language lessons.
To Grow Old With You Is My Biggest Adventure Of All — 10k
Thorin and Bilbo meet when they are young and every two years since that day, but life can have many twist and turns which need to be taken to reach the end.
Bilbo was frozen in place as he stared at the carnage around him. The screams echoed in his ears, along with the blood pounding through his veins. The adrenaline had his heart thumping in his chest, but the shock immobilized his limbs.
All around him, animals flung themselves at each other, snarling and snapping their teeth. Debris flew in the air and littered the ground, yet nobody noticed. No one seemed to notice the horror of the scene except Bilbo, who stood amongst a mass of people replaced by savages.
It was Black Friday, and Primula had dragged Bilbo along with her to go shopping.
Bilbo just didn't understand; why would anyone come in every day, order cake, and then not eat it?
Where The Lost Can Be Found — 5.9k
Bilbo works the soup kitchen in town alongside Bofur. There's always the regulars - Bard who's fighting to find a job, Tauriel the runaway, Saruman who's always sour.
Then they get a newcomer. And even with the hint of a troubled, mysterious past, Bilbo's determined to get beneath the shaggy hair and to the soul hidden in those bright blue eyes.
Will You Be My Love Hobbit? — 5k
When a rather specific message appears in The Metro newspaper that Bilbo and Ori read every morning on the way to work, Bilbo does his best to deny the 'love note' is about him. However, that biker gang that hang around in the train station car park every morning are acting rather oddly...
"To the chain-smoking little stud who collects two Metros from Southend Central every morning. Will you be my 'Love Hobbit'? - Bearded Biker."
Frodo climbs up onto the stepstool, Bilbo’s hand on his back to steady him, and grasps the edge of the table in his little hands, carefully following the two DJs’ instructions of not too close and speak slowly and clearly and you’re doing great, kid, and then, when they nod and tell him to start, he says, right into the microphone:
“My Winter Wish is for my uncle to get a boyfriend.”
“Would you stop staring,” Bilbo hissed, for the fifth time since service had started. “He’s not about to grow horns.”
Bofur looked guiltily away from the door, and scuttled back over to the tail end of appetiser prep. “Just checkin’ if he liked the amuse-bouche.”
“Well,” Bilbo scowled, “We have an entire restaurant to feed, not just Mister Durin, and Lobelia’s in a fine mood tonight, so if I don’t keep you at prep, she’ll light your tail with the blowtorch, I don’t wonder.”
Against The Pink Sky Blackberry Tangles — 14k
In which young Bilbo and Thorin meet at a blackberry thicket and grow older together, sowing a love of their own, whether they are near to each other or apart.
A Shot in the Dark — 213k
When he opens his eyes again, he finds himself in his old bed in his old home in his old body. Is this death? Or a trick of magic? Either way, Bilbo recognizes a second chance when he sees one, and this time his adventure with Thorin is going to go a bit differently.
The Company of Thorin Oakenshield could no longer be described as a ‘merry gathering’.
Bilbo Baggins sat at the edge of the campfire, hugging his knees to his chest, and looked just as dejected as the others surrounding the warm, flickering flames. The woodland river was a little way behind where they had set up camp, not close enough to see, but close enough for hobbit ears at least to pick out the rushing and burbling of water. They were on the edge of Mirkwood now, the Elvenking’s Halls a full day of travel behind them, and were about to start crossing the Long Marshes.
At least, that had been the plan. Bilbo was no longer certain what was going to happen.
Erebor fell and the dragon sleeps on his hoard of gold. The scattered dwarves do not prosper under King Thrain in Ered Luin. Dwarves have few friends and fewer since the Crown Prince was lost and his younger brother assumed his duties.
Bilbo Baggins, respectable hobbit of the Shire, is travelling to Bree on behalf of the Thain, his Uncle, when he notes the dwarfish blacksmith. Curious, he realises the dwarf is a slave and on impulse, he buys him and tries to free him. But the dwarf, Thorin, has to explain that he has lost his honour and will be no longer welcome at his home. Especially when it seems that there are those who have profited from his absence...
When Bilbo Baggins was a young hobbit, an encounter with a short story led him to become a student of Dwarven history; and that study led him to travel to Belegost shortly after he reached adulthood. While there, he learns more about not only Dwarves, but also himself; and meets his hero, Thorin Oakenshield, King of Durin's Folk.
For Thorin Baggins, the subject of memories (or his lack thereof) had become an easily laughed off matter. Or at least, they had... Until one day a wizard and a company of Dwarrow claiming him as their King shows up at his and his husband's doorstep. At least the two will get a good chuckle out of this! ... Won't they?
When the Sun Rises, I will... — 154k
Bilbo Baggins of Bag End was not a very respectable Hobbit. No respectable Hobbit had a sword and crossbow hanging in their home, nor did they have Dwarves as family. But Bilbo Baggins did, and all of Shire knew of his husband, blacksmith Thorin Oakenshield.
When Bilbo comes home to find his Husband earlier than expected, he learns of a quest to reclaim Erebor. It is a death mission. Bilbo knows that Dwarves are stubborn creatures, and none more than Thorin himself. But nobody said that Bilbo himself was any less stubborn.
So he will follow his dearest husband across all of Middle Earth, through plains and mountains and forests, all while hiding the true nature of their relationship (Dwarven politics never helped anyone), brushing off some old wounds (and getting new ones) and finding out new things about the dwarf Bilbo calls husband (and his extended family).
Nobody ever said love was easy, after all.
A Complaint A Day... — 8.3k
Bilbo complains -- a lot -- so when the complaints abruptly stop, Thorin immediately knows something is wrong with him. He's more than willing to take care of Bilbo, and he may just learn a little something more about his hobbit husband in the process.
A Family Dinner Gone Awry — 2.6k
Bilbo encourages the Company to enjoy a hobbit meal about once a month when the nature of some of their bets come to light. The former burglar comes out to retirement to unearth this mysterious last bet placed on him and Thorin...
A Lesson Carved in Stone — 7k
Fili and Kili have been a little much lately. Their latest escapade: damaging the newly rebuilt Upper Markets that were scheduled to be unveiled to the public that night. However, uncovering Mahal’s Anvil seems to be the answer to all their problems…until it turns their hobbit uncle to stone.
A Mile In Your Shoes — 10k
After another stand-up argument at the negotiating table, Thorin and Thranduil find themselves in each other’s bodies, courtesy of one meddling wizard. Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes (or in one case, heavy armored dwarven boots) was never so hard…
Thrór, his wife, Thráin and his wife are brought back to life. how? no one knows I didn't think that far so valar magic.
the spoiled royalty of old react to new Erebor.
Thráin's trying but man didn't have it well.
Every Cloud Has An Inky Lining — 17k
"I don't know why I let you convince me to do this!" Bilbo wailed at Dwalin as the dwarrowdam above him stabbed his skin over and over again, carefully dripping the needle on the ink in between a few stabbings.
“Cause ye love Thorin, maybe? Also, I’ll have ye know my ideas are the best. Wasn’t it for it you would be still freeting about gifts and whatnots. Yer just a little wimpy...” Dwalin mumbled the last part as he grimaced, trying to counteract Bilbo’s accusations but he wasn’t fooled, as from where he was lying, the fool of a dwarf was more than a little sweaty trying to pry his white hand from Bilbo’s bruising grip.
I turn at last to paths that lead me home — 16k
So, maybe running off from the Shire to walk back to the Lonely Mountain on foot had been a stupid idea.
Or: Bilbo decides he‘s sick of his life in the Shire and spontaneously bolts to head for the Lonely Mountain. Luckily, he happens upon a delegation of dwarves from the Blue Mountains he can accompany on their way to Erebor.
As Erebor starts to receive its winter snows, the company seems interested in participating in this labamrazûkh'azghu. Bilbo assumed it was a type of snowball fight. He's about to find out, like most things the dwarves do, it's a little more intense than that.
Rosie Cheeks and Frozen Feet — 10k
The dwarves are all hard at work rebuilding Erebor. Bilbo's happy to help but feels as though they're forgetting that there is more to life than just work. So he devises a plan to help them remember what it's like to have fun. The snow helps.
In the year T.A. 2975, a great battle was fought outside the gates of the Lonely Mountain. In later generations, it would be known as the Siege of Erebor. Thorin Oakenshield, King of Under the Mountain, found himself in a grave confrontation against two Hobbits of the Shire, Consort Bilbo Baggins and his young ward, Frodo Baggins. The two creatures ambushed the isolated King, pelting him with blows from their expertly made balls of snow. It seemed the fight would be easily won, and Erebor lost to Hobbit usurpers. But soon his two sister-sons, brave young souls unyielding in their loyalty, aided the King. Thus commenced the greatest snowball fight in all of Dwarven history.
In the aftermath of the War of the Ring, Bilbo's kicking back in Erebor, thinking life is FINALLY gonna be all sunshine and daisies. But when Gimli comes waltzing back after a year of adventures and as love-sick as one can get, suddenly peace is just a distant memory.
Erebor gets thrown into a crazy mix of dwarf politics, love between an elf and a dwarf starts diplomatic chaos, internal fights erupt within the mountain, and, believe it or not, there are some marriage problems too for Bilbo and Thorin.
As the halls of Erebor become a hotbed of conflicts, Bilbo's stuck right in the middle of it. Leadership headaches, unconventional romance, and that pesky backache that never leaves him make for a wild ride. It's post-War mayhem, and Erebor and the whole world are rocking with the beats of change.
“Well, it’s been quite a while since the battle.” Almost two months, two months he has happily spent in Erebor, being with his friends, watching the Mountain come back to life.
He thinks about it all again. There’s nothing keeping him here, he has done his job, Erebor and its treasure are Thorin’s, exactly as they planned nearly a year ago in Bag End. He has lingered in the aftermath, and he should return home, since there is virtually no reason for him to remain here.
Except… home is where the heart is, after all. His heart is definitely not in Bag End anymore, but with the very Dwarf before him. However, this is not a good enough reason to stay, not when he knows his feelings will never be reciprocated.
“So, I’ve been thinking of heading back home.”
Thorin stills. The kind smile on his face vanishes slowly.
I Turn At Last To Paths That Lead Me Home — 16k
So, maybe running off from the Shire to walk back to the Lonely Mountain on foot had been a stupid idea.
Or: Bilbo decides he‘s sick of his life in the Shire and spontaneously bolts to head for the Lonely Mountain. Luckily, he happens upon a delegation of dwarves from the Blue Mountains he can accompany on their way to Erebor.
In Middle Earth, your soulmate’s first impression of you is written on the inside of your wrist. Bilbo’s says Mahal, he’s hot. Thorin’s says Oh. He’s quite handsome for a dwarf.
It’s quite obvious that they are meant to be together—to everyone except Bilbo and Thorin, of course.
The Trouble with Soulmates (or, Too Bad It Only Works Once) — 5.3k
Young Fíli and Kíli will do anything for their Uncle Thorin. Including finding the person who might be his soulmate (and dragging him back to the forge by both force and guile so they can meet).