CobaltHail

This Blog is still in the works, so please, but is slowly being more and more done-er than last time! At the moment, this blog consists of: 99.9% reblogs and 00.1% nothing.

[omnybus]

Pokemon Go tip:

If you’re out playing Pokemon Go and it starts raining, just use your trusty iPhone as a dryPhone

[cobalthail]

Tumblr's reaction to opposite-sex friendships: Assuming that a man and woman who are friends HAVE TO BE IN LOVE is REALLY shitty and heteronormative. It erases opportunities for diversity and representation in the media. PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE A THING. We need to teach society that a man and a woman can be regular friends without automatically assuming they're in love upon realizing their friendship.

Tumblr's reaction to same-sex friendships: GAYGAYGAYGAYFJADS13@JFADHDFSJH342UIEFJ!!! I'M LITERALLY DROWNINGN IN THE GAYNESS!!!

[gmbencompetence]

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

[jupiterjunebug]

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

[gmbencompetence]

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

[thisisdefinitelyacreativename]

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

[gmbencompetence]

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

[turtle-powered]

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

[gmbencompetence]

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

[analienorsutin]

Rare blue watermelon

[sickofimmortality]

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

[akiraita]

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

[unicornfan]

soap makes water molecules smaller

[elphabaoftheopera]

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

[brucebocchi]

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

[adataraxia]

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

[softurl]

[sasukehateblog]

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

[painisthecleanser]

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

The two way mirror

[rinlockhart]

“listen here, cumslut.”

[tenaflyviper]

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

[steven-universe-official-deacti]

Eliminate tumblr.

[theapplebane-deactivated2016071]

pls kill tumblr

[some-online-spiral]

has no one mentioned the time when someone tried to defend mayonnaise as a gender?

[furlockhound-inactive-moved-dea]

The people that argued the inside of a red, meaty fruit should be tagged gore because vaguely looked like a bloody wound if you squinted at it.

[official-albert-wesker-deactiva]

You mean this post Slagar?

[furlockhound-inactive-moved-dea]

That’s the one.

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

tag your gore/pomegranates asswipe 

[bye-bye-little-sebastian-deacti]

Please keep adding to this

[dreadedloreenkid]

That post where that guy thought Spain wasn’t a country

Related: that post where someone claimed white people shouldn’t speak spanish because it was “cultural appropriation”

[notcrazyiswear]

How about the recent “brexit correlation with mad cow disease” map that was literally just the same image in greyscale

[thinkingredwizard]

I’m glad the Brexit thing and the potato shaped globe map are on here.

I’d like to submit: “Shakespeare sounds best in THE American accent because THE English accent has changed since Shakespeare and the American accent hasn’t”

[judgeanon]

I love the one where someone thought a production still from Platoon was an actual picture of the Vietnam War.

[bravelykoma]

I nominate bad dragon horse dildo being passed off as a black man’s arm with burns (or vitiligo?) with others fawning over how beautiful it was.

[no1straightally]

wow this website sure would be better with some nupesy kat

[antimanifesto1973]

what’s nupesy kat

[no1straightally]

WOOAH OOOH OOH OH

[death-420]

i had a dream that i was solid snake workin at taco bell

[maxknightley]

“Uhhhh, can I get a doritos locos taco?”

“Doritos locos taco… Colonel, what’s the procedure?”

“That’s a taco with a special shell, Snake – made not from an ordinary corn tortilla but designed to evoke the famous tortilla chip, packed with extreme flavor. Substitute the shell and prepare the rest of the taco normally.”

“Got it. Excuse me, customer. There’s both Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese shells here. Which would you prefer?”

“Cool ranch, please.”

“On it.”

[death-420]

can we get david hayter in on this

[virtanderson]

[exdragonith]

Pokemon - Bounsweet

http://fav.me/daavjr9

“When running away from other Pokémon, Bounsweet flees danger by skipping along the ground. Since its bouncy movements don’t convey to others that it’s actually in desperate flight, no one ever comes to its aid.”

[animentality]

Gimme me the most cliched anime line you can think of

I’ll start:

“What…does it mean to be human?”

[angelbbi]

I will protect my friends no matter what!

[one-in-lemillion]

*villain gets beaten*

IMPOSSIBLE

[animentality]

*dramatic shot of eyes widened and pupils getting smaller

[ivoryyice]

“Both my parents passed away when I younger, so I live here by myself.”

[whalienfeelsogood]

is this love

[the-last-heterosexual]

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME

[korracrat]

*screams at impossible ranges for impossible amounts of time*

[rei-chanmorelikegay-chan-blog]

Humans… Are strange creatures

[speedo-asses]

*loud breathing*

[yanderechild-archive]

bbbbaka

[cheepieb]

I’ll get stronger…to protect everyone!

[animentality]

HE IS MY MOST PRECIOUS PERSON

[1e-15-deactivated20180319]

What is this feeling in my chest?

[iwasthinkingofanimeagain-deacti]

Why won’t senpai notice me?

[xjazh]

This can’t… be!

[fairyghibli-deactivated20181024]

“They sacrificed themselves…for me…why?” *hand covers half of their face while they sob*

[xternel-deactivated20220126]

*evil laugh* This isn’t even my final form 

[indraaas-deactivated20200720]

“Let’s make a promise!”

[tendous-satoris]

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-” 

[kageyama--toblerone-deactivated]

“y-you can do this ____” 

[illtakeapotatochipandeatit]

*protaganist turns a corner while talking to a friend and then falls on top of a female who will later become important to the series*

[sugaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

*badass anime lead with a voice deeper than the flames of hell* tch.

[squeekydogtoy]

“I don’t need you… I can take care of myself.”

[canarywitch]

“MY FRIENDS ARE MY POWER”

[chibiwriter]

“Class, we have a new student with us starting today.”

[marxiehodgeheg]

*character stands up, bloodied up and bruised, and it perfectly fine after being thrown against walls and blasted with various objects*

[mustangsgloves]

I can’t lose you too

[keonus]

“with you by my side, I cant possibly lose!!”

[lightbrand]

“But..but even then…!”

[plush-girl-deactivated20160810]

*anime villain chuckle* *close shot of their eyes as they look up menacingly* “You underestimate the strength of my powers!”

[fur4furaru]

*protagonist best friend’s/love interest/mentor voice* “If you kill [villain], what difference are you from them?”

[irisonmain]

“i-it’s not like I like you or anything! b-baka!”

[supahbeefcakes]

“th-that’s..!”

[reisartjunk-deactivated20181217]

“It can’t be helped…”

[professorplaid-deactivated20220]

“We’ll have to use… that”

[lucianite]

“You can’t possibly mean… that man!”

[memorian]

One of the best Pokemon Go stories so far. 

[typhwosion]

That one episode where Jigglypuff tried to kill Team Rocket.

[manicpixiedreamgolem]

i👏bound👏this👏emoji👏to👏my👏space👏bar👏and👏i👏cant👏undo👏it

[transkafka-deactivated20150624]

ronald reagan died without knowing about bofa…

[debthaver-deactivated20170812]

who is ronald regean

[cloudsnothing]

bofa deez nuts

[arousedhoe]

how do u be an adult

[slightmood]

ya gotta own a briefcase and then fuck it

[arousedhoe]

what

[slightmood]

the briefcase

ya gotta fuck the briefcase

[moonarchy]

ADS THAT SUDDENLY TAKE UP THE WHOLE PAGE

[moonarchy]

ADS THAT SUDDENLY TAKE UP THE WHOLE PAGE AND PLAY MUSIC

[dip-dop-pines-deactivated201603]

What about ads that play music, but you can’t find them anywhere on the page?

[moonarchy]

[thegamerinallofus]

Still hearing the ads music after you close the page

[elfzelda]

having adblock

[silver-tongues-blog]

Sites that forbid adblock

[running-in-blind]

When ads pop up even when Adblock is enabled

[cosmic-noir]

When porn ads pop up unexpectedly

[vampire-crimson]

this post gets better everytime i see it

[rasec-wizzlbang-blog]

if nothing else, 2016 was a good year for grand dads.

[anem0nesiac-deactivated20231104]

PSA:

Donkey Kong’s coconut gun can, in fact, FIRE IN SPURTS.

IF HE SHOOTS YOU, IT IS GOING TO HURT.

Spread this like wildfire.

[docmario-deactivated20170817]

not gonna say it again. hes bigger, faster, and stronger too.

[catwithbenefits]

that one kid in your class who brings a fucking Gundam to a Pokemon battle

[vonisv]

>not bringing your Gundams everywhere

laughingqubeleys.png

[scope-dogg]

Little Kid: Pikachu, I choose you!

Me: MAZIIIIIIN-GO

[newtypeofbanana]

Little Kid: CHARMANDER, LET’S GO !

Me: Gundam, Ikimasu

[sandileshole-blog]

Small child: Squirtle, get ‘em!

Me: GETTA ROBO, HASSHIN!

[final-mazin-blade]

Young Child: My Bulbasaur will win for sure Me: Great Mazinger, Scramble Dash!

[random-beard-man]

Teenager:  You wont beat my Charizard!

Me: Zeta Gundam,  ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORAAAAA!!!

[squirreldoctor]

College Student: There’s no way you can beat my Dragonite!

Me: Come forth! Gunbuster!

[meezy7-deactivated20210917]

@chaosagent23

[rock10zxa]

‘90s kid’: Let’s see if you can take on my IV trained Mewtwo

Me: HASHIRIDASHITAAAAAA OMOI GA IMA DEMOOOO

[idiosyncraticwordsmith]

Human beings in a mob

What’s a mob to a king?

What’s a king to a god?

What is a god…

To a non-believer?