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Just ramblings. She/her. DISCLAIMER: Not A Spoiler Free Blog

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

how many sharks does a tornado need to be considered a sharknado

1

2

3-5

10 ????

more ??????

other ????????????

Voting ended onMar 27

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

this is the level of analysis we’re looking for here people

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

did everyone forget that the message of the ugly duckling isn't "you'll get a revenge body and all the haters will be sooo jealous" but actually "one day you'll be around people who understand who you are and love you for it"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

those ducks still think he's ugly as shit btw. he just doesn't care anymore.

[brownbitchshit]

I think we as a fandom don't talk about enough how Ilya is a lover but Shane is a protector! Like yes they both are Loverboys and carers but Shane is ferally protective of Ilya since day 1.

Ilya couldn’t understand what the reporter is saying, Shane stepped up to answer for him.

He felt something was off with Ilya in Sochi, kept checking up on him.

After Sochi when Shane realized how dangerous Russia is for Ilya, he tried to convince Ilya to not go back by asking if it's safe, if he has to go back.

When Ilya opened up about his father, Shane climbed up on his lap and hugged him. In that entire episode he kept checking up on Ilya to see if he is okay, if everything back home is okay.

When they get to the cottage, Shane is taking his bag, making his food, making sure he is taken care of. When Ilya talks about the danger of having a Russian passport and marrying Svetlana, Shane is the one who stays up all night to make them 10 years plan.

When his mom questions Ilya's loyalty to Boston Shane defends him.

This isnt the end. In TLG, Shane defends Ilya to Hayden and JJ.

When the near plane crash happens Shane proposes to show Ilya that he is 100% sure about them.

Most importantly when the Commissioner threatens Ilya and Shane to destroy their career, Shane snaps and says he chooses Ilya.

Shane is constantly making sure of Ilya's wellbeing, planning things for him, defending and choosing him everytime. Ilya is 100% Shane's baby and Shane is an overprotective mother hen which I think is beautiful.

[thememedaddy]

[scunthotter]

I literally love it so much that they both think the other one is the hottest person alive. Shane and Ilya both looking at each other and being so proud that they bagged a perfect 10. Both of them thinking that the other one is a trophy and being so proud that they won him. Their mutual obsession. I'm gonna fucking start biting people over this if I think about it too hard.

[mismedleym]

recollections

[mrporg]

[trulyabookweirdo]

I have this headcanon that [SPOILERS FROM THE LONG GAME] after Shane and Ilya get outed and the media frenzy winds down, they end up doing several low stake interviews to get the general population to like them as a pair. And so at one point they end up doing the "reading mean tweets trend" together (the idea was for them to defend each other) and one directed at Shane reads:

"Can you imagine being the reason that Ilya Russian-Greatest-Love-Machine Rozanov spends the rest of his life having boring missionary style sex? Shane Hollander, if you really love him, let him go"

And everyone can see Ilya trying to understand the tweet for a second before he freezes, his breathing becoming unsteady while he interrupts Shane (stammering through a media trained response) to say:

"you... You think that Shane... You think he..."- before completely collapsing into absolute laughter. The kind of laughter that kind of hurts, that has you wheezing and trying to find your breath, that gets tears in your eyes and turns your face red from lack of oxygen. His voice and laughter get high-pitched, and he has to steady himself on his husband cause he almost falls from his chair.

The man is completely undone while Shane smacks his leg to "shut up, shut up!", all the while trying and failling to finish the sentence, cause he can't believe anyone on this planet could think of Shane as anything less as a sexually-deviant-kinky motherfucker who would rather die than do something less than soft BDSM.

Every time he starts to calm down, he looks at the camera and starts laughing again. They have to stop recording for 15 minutes, and in the following part of the interview everyone can see the red eyes from the tears of laughter, and the cuts in the video from where he couldn't control himself and started laughing again.

The day after it's released, Ilya's unhinged laughter becomes a response meme for when people say something stupid.

[snap-crackle-cunt]

what shane says: im gay

what shane means: i can never love a woman in any way resembling the way i love you and when i tried she called my shit IMMEDIATELY so what im trying to say is i can't sidestep whatever we are the way you can, i will never ever love anyone but u

what ilya hears: somewhere along the line of our multi-year situationship that began with me immediately sucking ur dick, i have determined that i like men.

what ilya says: ya no fucking shit bro what

[feyburner]

I do think it’s funny when headcanons are presented as objective character facts bc I get “He would not fucking say/do that” as much as the next guy but I must also humbly acknowledge its powerful cousin named “A skilled enough writer could make me believe he would”

[kyraneko]

Ask not "would they do that?" but "what would make them do that?" and your writing will vastly improve.

[cloudabserk]

yuna hollander the woman that you are.

[cloudabserk]

he was bracing himself for bad news

[deqncas]

them doing this because connor said he couldnt see hudson because of the too many flashes. they're so cute i feel sick to my stomach

[gnawu]

can we mention ilya ‘look at me’ rozanov picking up on shane getting lost in his head and bringing him back into the moment with touch

[homunculus-argument]

The human body's response to HRT is actually admirable in the sheer indifference. Just pure I Don't Give A Shit, I Just Fucking Work Here compliance to the new instructions. You can get testosterone injected straight into your body and it doesn't even question where that shit came from, coming back from a coffee break and just going

"Okay, everything seems to be in ord- oh fuck now what? Oh huh. Alright fine. New orders came in, cancel the menstrual cycle. Dig up the genetic balding patterns from somewhere, I don't fucking know they're buried somewhere in the dna. I'm greenlighting the growing-hair-on-your-toes thing. Yeah just cancel the ongoing maintenance processes, new orders came in so this is apparently what we're doing now."

[skull-bearer]

Oh, and we need to build a penis. How? No fucking clue, use whatever we've got lying around. We're going to have to McGyver the fuck out of this dick.

[hyperhypnotichyena]

[softestaries]

big fan of how hudson williams hit hollywood like a canonball. he runs around like a little chaos gremlin pushing all the made up rules off the windowsill with his paw then stands by connor storrie like that makes him untouchable and it does.

[l1ng]