Come Marvel at this... @comemarvelatthis - Tumblr Blog

I do consider Wolverine's interactions with Jean and Scott in the first X-Men movie to be sort of an inverse unicorn hunter scenario. sometimes the unicorn hunts you. aggressively.

batmanisagatewaydrug

the thing is. Logan finally makes one (1) pass at Scott that's so straightforward even Scott can't write it off as homoerotic bickering over Jean, and it sends him into a tailspin. he doesn't even answer he just leaves the room. gracelessly. listen it's 2001 and like, okay, obviously Professor X is gay, Scott knows that, he's fine with it but like. jesus christ. he has enough problems with the whole mutant thing; Scott Summers has not been exploring the lush garden of latent bisexuality. plus he's like SO coupled up with Jean so it doesn't even matter, right? it doesn't even matter and he never had to think about this again, except he does and he's dating a telepath (FUCK) and she Knows something is up and he can't brush it off forever so he tries (fails) to casually bring it up. haha hey Jean you know I always thought Logan had a bit of a crush on you, but I think he tried coming onto me the other day, can you believe it? ("I think he tried coming onto me" here means "he offered to suck my dick with all the subtlety you'd expect from a man who's very popular in truck stop bathrooms," btw.) and Jean Grey, the Dark Phujoshi herself, cannot hide that this is huge for her. this solves so many of her problems. she's salivating and Scott can see it and she's realizing too late oh no Scott was Not into it like that, abort mission hard. except he saw how excited she was for a split second before she got a lid on it, so he knows, and she knows he knows, and he know she knows he knows. and now Scott can't Stop thinking about it, and the more he tries to not think about it the more he does, vicious cycle, and he keeps having these dreams about. well. what if. what if I did let him suck me off a little. which Jean knows about, obviously, because she's a telepath (FUCK). so she knows. and he knows she knows. and she must know that he knows she knows. but neither of them are saying anything about it, just sweating it out while Logan continues to slut around the school in a white tank top pretending he's not playing six dimensional mind game chess to land the plane on this threesome.

winterofthedarkestlight

The Marvel Juggernaut: With Great Power Comes Zero Responsibility by Megan White

docholligay

I could not have articulated this but it is SO GOOD

ophidahlia

This is such an insightful critique of how capitalism, in its relentless pursuit of limitless profit above all else, not only stifles creativity and cages artistic expression but also actively promotes regressive social values as a means of safeguarding the security of those obscene profit margins.

imposterogers

museum curator, watching steve waltz into the smithsonian, the memory of having the stolen cap america authentic howling commando era uniform returned dirty and ridden with bullet holes still fresh in their mind: hide the VALUABLES

steve, reaching over the rope to poke at something on display: it’s my goddamn stuff???

eldritchjackalope

#I work with enough museum curators to be able to accurately picture their looks of absolute dead-eyed horror#at this meat-handed man pawing through the objects they’ve spent decades preserving#BUT ALSO IT’S HIS GODDAMN STUFF#so the mental image of the incredibly stiff and stilted surface-level polite conversation Steve would have with Smithsonian staff#both of them vibrating with indignation but unable to fully express it for PR reasons#is an endless source of entertainment for me via galwedenesday

galwednesday

#ah yes #the joys of attempting to figure out how to deaccession a bunch of shit#that previously belonged in the ‘no living claims’ category#and has for DECADES #what i would not give to see that paper trail tho#like was everything of Steve’s now owned by the Army upon being declared KIA and they donated it to the Smithsonian or what#MINUTIAE OF MUSEUM WORK IN THE MCU I WANT TO KNOW DAMMIT#like the museum has HAD to have dealt with fraudulent claims before so they’d have everything but ‘The Actual Original Owner’ showing up#locked down #okay but also #how long have they had this shit#when was any of this declassified via afearsomecritter

I’M SAYIN’, every single level of management at the Smithsonian must have had an extensively well-documented migraine after dealing with the colossal shitshow raised by such thrilling items as “sock (woolen)” pulled from the pack of one “Rogers, Steve G., 1918 - 1945 lol whoops he’s back″

ifeelbetterer

#okay but where is the fic#where is the story about a beleaguered smithsonian curator named michelle who one day realizes she has ’S. Rogers’ on her schedule#which was made after her boss had a screaming match with somebody named Carlson or Coulson or Colton or something#which happened after that reaaaaaaal embarrassing ‘break-in’ which is in quotes#because fucking KYLE just LET Rogers IN#and when very nicely asked why the fuck he did that KYLE#said ‘i mean he’s captain america right? it’s his stuff isn’t it??’#and michelle’s boss went off to murder someone#and michelle just sighed and had josh bring kyle some coffee#and explained to kyle that no she really did have to fire him#he’s been a great security guard but he literally had one job to do#but then the day AFTER that#fucking KYLE comes waltzing back in with a fucking LETTER#from fucking CAPTAIN AMERICA#asking if ms. michelle onadiche could see her way to reinstating FUCKING KYLE#in exchange for ‘the property belonging to S. Rogers and housed at the Smithsonian Museum for purposes of edification to the public#and michelle very carefully puts her head on the desk and wonders who taught Steve Rogers to use ‘ms’ so meanly#anyway I’m just saying #avengers shmavengers (tags by @leupagus)

singelisilverslippers

#SO LIKE HERE’S THE FUN THING #the smithsonian doesn’t deaccession A N Y T H I N G #they have things that are rotting to pieces and old plastic destroying itself and RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL that any SANE MUSEUM would have #GOTTEN THE FUCK OUT OF THERE #but because it’s PROPERTY OF THE UNITED STATES GUMMINT due to it being the national museum (system thing) #you can’t throw away so much as a paperclip #if it’s been accessioned #(there’s a paperclip collection at american history don’t @ me)#(american history is america’s junk drawer it’s hell on earth) #so steve would be like ‘hey that’s my stuff’ and the smithsonian would start S W E A T I N G B U L L E T S #because deaccessioning captain america’s personal belongings? is basically steve rogers stealing government property #which he does! all the time! #but they aren’t supposed to let him do that #and the paperwork is going to be: the worst #and possibly require an act of congress #and also FINDING IT IN AMERICAN HISTORY OOOOOH MY GOD like three years after #THE COLLECTIONS CALAMITY WE DO NOT SPEAK OF (but that we all got published for thank fuck we got something out of it) #someone finds like a stash of photos and a map and a few trinkets in a cabinet #that had gotten lost in collection #‘we have to tell him!’ says the intern who found it #so earnest! so young! so in grad school! #‘we absolutely the fuck do not’ hisses michelle who will HAPPILY live out the rest of her days if steven fucking rogers NEVER #DARKENS HER DOOR AGAIN #the intern squeals obviously #michelle fantasizes about murdering her and also captain america throughout the entire process and it almost gets her through #the textile conservator who initially had to process the captain america suit after he ‘returned’ it the first time still hisses angrily at #*steve like a cat whenever he walks by #…this got away from me (via @alyharania)

like i said in my initial reblog… all the people building stories out of this make me laugh with delight, but smithsonian & dc museum people adding their tags give me LIFE

… also steven grant rogers would be KIND and COURTEOUS to the front-line museum staff and not ask them stupid questions and you will pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch

alyharania

oh steven grant rogers is KIND and POLITE and CONSIDERATE to front-line museum staff, he will politely move himself to the side so he doesn’t cause traffic issues if he gets recognized and a couple kids want pictures, he apologizes to security for causing a scene (he didn’t mean to! he thought his baseball cap disguise would work, bless him). he returns his maps (sweet and so unnecessary but then one of the volunteers can take a map captain america used and will probably sign for them back to their grandkids so that’s nice). the docents LOVE him; he’s both a Nice Young Man and also from Back in Their Day.

the collections and conservation staff however have sworn a blood oath of pure vengeance against him and nothing he ever does will change their minds. the textile conservator (we’ll call her lorraine) who had to restore the old captain america suit spent THREE YEARS OF HER LIFE on that stupid thing and it’s still too unstable to ever exhibit again. lorraine went through FIVE INTERNS, two of whom CRIED ON HER. she had to spend a fourth year making a replica because everyone was writing their representatives that the captain america suit wasn’t on display and they MADE HER DO IT.

like if steve thought any debrief in wwii he ever had sucked lol try lorraine, who has given up trying to catalogue what the fuck happened to that piece of shit suit and finally tracked down his cell phone number after six months of this hell project out of sheer bloody mindness and desperation and tricks him into her office through a series of absolute goddamn lies about idk public programming or some shit that steve might actually care about and then corners him and makes him give her a play by play of what, exactly, the fuck he did to that suit.

cuz, okay, listen. blah blah save the world blah blah, but steven grant rogers* stole a priceless museum artifact, bled on it, set it on fire, dropped it into the potomac, dragged it (WHILE WET) through river mud and god knows how many plants and bugs and microbes, got melting plastic and metal and shrapnel and other people’s body juices and skin and hair embedded in it–the only reason he lives is because he can give the full and accurate account of what the fuck he did to it and answer questions of how the fuck it can be slightly, slightly unfucked. not saved! not made to look like it was! certainly not able to be put on a mannequin and exhibited again! but like she can get some more of the mud and that chunk of charred plastic out maybe. otherwise, lorraine would have murdered that dumb bitch in a fit of justifiable rage, and no amount of charming “sorry ma’am”s would fucking save him.

singelisilverslippers

#I LOVE STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WITH ALL MY HEART BUT IF I WAS THE MYTHIC LORRAINE#(who doesn’t exist because american history hates their costume and textile collection lolololol)#I WOULD STRANGLE STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WITH MY MEASURING TAPE AND NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AT ALL#*also yes i realize bucky barnes; hydra; etc. where also responsible for What The Fuck Happened To That Suit but steven grant rogers#would take responsibility for what happened to it#it’s not FAIR but also he’s a martyr#(the replica suit goes on display four years later and a scruffy guy with one arm and long hair is at the opening reception#kinda squinting at it#lorraine has already had like two cocktails because SHE’S DONE MOTHERFUCKERS NEW PROJECTS 4 HER#and he seems kinda nice #until she sees steve fucking rogers walk up to him#and overhears one arm dude say ‘didn’t i shoot you in that thing?’#she doesn’t get to hear steve explain that ‘ms. lorraine made a replica’ and ‘she’s brilliant’ and kind of scary#‘she said it wasn’t safe to put the old one on display so she made a new one’#because a red mist of rage has descended over her eyes#because she knows now who was responsible for the fucking bullet holes and all that FUCKING crusted blood and all that FUCKING MUD#her current intern#who is VERY excited about the new project they have preparing all the peggy carter mannequins for the SHIELD exhibit in three years#and is pretty sure they aren’t going to be able to intern if lorraine gets arrested#steers her back outside the gallery and back to the drinks and appetizers#michelle pats the new intern on the arm#‘you’ll go far young padawan’ she says and makes murder eyes at a polite looking steve rogers#who detours to chat with a docent instead) (via @alyharania)

that’s it imma marry this post

swingsetindecember

imagine bucky barnes stealing his jacket back. and making adjustments for his new arm

IMAGINE THAT LORRAINE

pati79

Omg this post is the best that has ever happened to me during a subway ride!

valeria2067

I don’t even go here, and I love this post

tjwock

As a museum worker it actually rather baffles me that his things ended up in the Smithsonian, because the US Forces actually have a SHIT TON of their own museums and having dealt with those Mo Go’s on both sides of the conversation I just cannot envision them giving it up.

I CAN see each of those museums trying to argue for custody though. Nation museum of health and medicine? Steve was a science experiment in healthy soldering it totally belongs to us! Marine Corps museum? Steve was the first Marine OBViously give it here! NAW FUCK YALL IT BELONGS IN THE ARMY MUSEUM. WHICH ONE? WHAT DO YOU CARE GIVE IT HERE.

So like. Clearly the Commandos quietly split Steve’s things up amongst their own and smuggled them home. As they died, they sent their own belongings along to each other, until only one was left with all of these trunks of memories and memorabilia and loss, and he’s gotta be thinking, fuck the army what has it ever done for us or Steve and then he wills it to the National Museum of American History, whose PR officer has a freaking field day and the advancement team only sees dollar signs and meanwhile the conservatives are bemoaning the fact that these priceless treasures have been sitting all wadded up in a trunk being subjected to horrible humidity and temperature fluctuations and don’t get me STARTED on the IPM-

Anyway that’s why they’re at the Smithsonian and not one of the Armed Forces museums.

meredactyl

can confirm that the curators would be polite, even while grinding their teeth internally, but Superman’s heat vision would have nothing on the murdergazes of the objects and paper and textile conservators when Steve was in the room. ESPECIALLY after Steve wheedled a donation from Tony in the amount of Sizable Percentage of Annual Funding to benefit the museum and endow Lorraine’s position.

white-throated-packrat

Seriously, the NMAH might not let him into the Suitland pods at all. I mean, the museum on the Mall looks big, but the lion’s share of storage if off-site because the Smithsonian has so much stuff.

Also, the Captain America exhibit was at Air & Space for some reason (I think Winter Soldier might have been filmed when NMAH was actually closed for renovations), which is another level for Steve to fight through – the Smithsonian is a lot of different museums, and it’s likely that his stuff is split between different collections. Good luck finding anything not actually on display if the curators want you to get lost – the non-exhibit spaces in the buildings are rabbit warrens because some of the building are over a century old and repeated additions have made them quirky to navigate.

#steve rogers

imposterogers

wade wilson kidnaps hugh jackman in deadpool 3 bc he’s convinced he’s actually wolverine. he spends the whole movie lugging him around but he’s literally just hugh jackman

creme-meme

hugh jackman does everything to prove that he’s hugh jackman. he sings, he tap dances, and he has an australian accent.

the reveal at the end of the movie is that hugh jackman isn’t wolverine, but wolverine is hugh jackman. logan went into witness protection in order to retire from being a superhero and having an alternate identity as an australian actor who started his career in musicals was basically fool proof until wade blew his cover story

hellenhighwater

Considering that Hugh Jackman exists in the Deadpool cinematic universe, this works in-canon quite well.

This is revealed, of course, when Hugh Jackman gets shot and killed just prior to the final battle, providing Deadpool with the emotional push that carries him to victory. After Deadpool finally defeats the Big Bad (somehow overcoming by himself whatever obstacle he thought he would need Wolverine for) he turns to see Hugh Jackman in the last stage of regenerating from being ‘dead’ and absolutely looses his shit about it.

zebraljb

Every morning should start with me reading something like this.

#deadpool #wolverine #hugh jackman

canyalltexteachother

real talk, superheroes can be so focused on stupid shit sometimes…arms dealers this, drug dealers that… take down the fucking government already you stupid bitches!!

charlesoberonn

#I love this more than life itself #magneto

see-arcane

Okay, I’m calling bullshit on both the film and the comic versions of Marvel civilians’ general reaction to Venom being: ‘oh no a monster D:’ It’s just too unrealistic even for the standard level of Marvel civilian foolishness. They are living in a world where demons, mutants, aliens, A.I., and living breathing gods are their fellow pedestrians and you’re telling me they’re going to look at this

and this

like he’s not the man-assed musclebeast mascot of San Francisco?

Like he’s not constantly getting phone numbers scrawled on bar napkins plastered to his buff Silly Putty biceps??

Like seven out of ten ‘victims’ he rescues in a week aren’t the same handful of fans who purposely walk down dark alleys with boxes of Godiva on hand???

Like he’s never been stopped by the world’s most steel-balled paparazzi on the street and broke the city’s heart by stating, “What? No, of course I’m not single,” before immediately mending that heart by following with, “But if my Other is cool with it we’re down for a threesome,”????

Impossible. This is the Age of the Monsterfucker and I refuse to believe such hearsay

aelia-likes-monsters

As someone from San Francisco, I will tell you now that 2/3 of our fine city would appreciate an ass like that.

ms-demeanor

It took approximately four seconds for the whole city of Philadelphia to accept hideous monster Gritty as their precious smol son. Venom would *immediately* be taken into the fold and showered with love and propositioned *constantly* by people who think Cap is too much of a boy scout and Loki is too skeevy.

#venom

coffeefrenchandhistory

These.

These are two of the most powerful moments in the X-Men movies. This is how you define Magneto. A man scarred and impacted by what he endured in the camps. A man who endured the unendurable.

I never saw him as a villain. I never saw him as a monster. I saw him as a man who wanted to do everything - to move heaven and earth - to keep his people safe.

#magneto #magneto was right

loislane

in superman adventures #19, there’s a villain named multi-face who can convincingly disguise himself as anyone, even tricking dna tests and x-ray vision. Superman initially can’t stop him

and the only reason he gets caught is because multiface decides to disguise himself as, of all people, CLARK KENT i’m screaming

loislane

why do villains always mess up so badly

ninja-pyro

Clark Kent attending Bruce Wayne’s yacht party where Bruce told Clark to wear his clothes and……

stalker-among-the-stars

Ta-Da!

Sard borken

cryptiboy

calling the people at the party Bruce’s “fake friends” as if he’s Bruce’s only real friend and he’s low key jealous

#DC #batman #superman

radicalposture

- Thor and his magic patu: notes on a very Māori Marvel movie

#thor: ragnarok

atuans

where’s that panel of a very sensual and topless clint barton that looked like he was about to fuck venom

atuans

don’t worry about it, i actually just found it! i hate it!

mutiemenace

this website right now

berryarmstrong

LITERALLY THIS WEBSITE RIGHT NOW

#clint barton #venom

andernell

Killmonger

meleedamage

The banter between Barnes and Barton in Tales of Suspense is fucking flawless.

A limited run is not enough!!!

meleedamage

I can’t fucking get enough of these two.

soundssimpleright

OH MY GOD

WHAT

WHO

HOW

I WAS NOT INFORMED?!???!?

#bucky barnes #clint barton

joe-normal

sometimes i forget that thor doesn’t actually have an Australian accent because his counterpart is tom hiddleston as loki who sounds like a deep thought algorithm’s platonic ideal of posh Britishness and in comparison thor no matter how gentle and flowery a script they give him invariably sounds like he’s moments away from turning to the hulk and saying “you’re a big cunt aren’t ya”

phil-the-stone-deactivated20180

actually ive decided that infinity war just needs to be 2.5 hours of peter parker trying his best to address various adult superheroes as politely as possible and struggling a lot. attempts range from “your majesty mr panther sir” (accepted with only a small twitch of the lips & shuri giggling a lot) to “starlord”, which earns him 2 hours of riotous mockery from a talking raccoon

phil-the-stone-deactivated20180

princessamericachavez

But hear me out: when Tony finds out about how Shuri healed Ross he moves hell, heaven and earth to get there and downright begs Shuri to take in Rhodey as a patient because she’s clearly the best and he’ll sell his soul if it means healing his best friend but then Shuri just smiles and says ‘sure!’ and he bursts into tears right there in her lab.

bairnsidhe

Okay, but this isn’t painful enough, so time for me to shine!

Everyone expects Tony to be a dick to Shuri the first time he meets her. Like I mean, EVERY-damn-BODY. His ego is legend, he once made Neil DeGrasse Tyson cry at the Nobels. It’s especially bad when it’s someone new to him. And here’s this itty bitty girl-child making claims to greatness and scoffing at Tony’s work.

Reporters are waiting with baited breath.

T’Challa has practiced his “Make my sister cry and no-one will find the body” speech in from of a mirror.

Oyoke and Nakia have insisted on teaching Shuri hand-to-hand.

Pepper and Happy institute social media lock-downs at the Stark Gala the meeting will take place at (they couldn’t exactly not-invite the girl who donated the most to the Maria Stark Foundation.)

Peter actually webbed his way to the tower to try to calm Tony down the night before, and got yelled at by Aunt May for breaking curfew.

Tony walks straight to her at the gala.

The world seems to pause.

He puts a folder in front of her on a side table meant to hold drinks.

“My best friend. Care to take a look?”

She hands him her sparkling cider.

Pepper near about has an aneurysm in the two seconds before Tony happily takes it from her.

Shuri looks at the file.

“Another broken white boy for me to fix?” she says with a grin like sunshine and open sky. “Of course.”

“Rhodey is black,” Tony says quietly. It is the only time in their entire friendship over the next decade he corrects her. He doesn’t cry. Stark men are made of iron. But he holds whatever she hands him. He never puts up the wall of sass and self-image to push her away.

And when she tells him Bucky Barnes, his parent’s killer, is Rhodey’s physio partner?

He sends her every single page of his father’s notes on Super Soldiers.

kryptaria

oh my god yes please

sammie-skele-turtle-blog

@bairnsidhe you just made this SO much better. Would you mind if I used your addition to this post as the center of a story I want to write?

adreamorawish

PREACH

glorious-spoon

Dipping my toe back into the Captain America fandom, and one of the most relentlessly weird characterizations I see is this idea that Steve is a naive ball of emotionally vulnerable sunshine who just wants to hug Bucky everyone better and needs Sam or Natasha or Tony (?!) to explain to him about PTSD and the horrors of war and the lingering after-effects of trauma.

Like. Were we even watching the same movies? Because in the ones I saw, Steve is an intensely private, deeply traumatized war veteran who deals with his problems by punching things and flees the moment someone tries to get him to talk about his feelings. This is a dude whose reaction to the death of the most important person in his life was to hide out in a bombed out bar by himself trying (and failing) to get shitfaced drunk. He’s a kind and decent person, sure, but he’s also an angry, emotionally repressed human disaster.

#steve rogers