Half Writer, Half Fangirl, All Nerd.

Half writing blog, half shipping/fandom hyperfixations

[red-shameless]

Presenting to you my writing cycle

[commandermorganwrites]

The season may be over (and it may not have been all I was hoping for), but I'll still be here haunting the tag daily, as I've done since I first watched season one. I'll still be admiring all the incredible fan art and fics. I'm still planning on writing more of my own. I'll still be yapping with anyone who'll listen. I'm still holding on to this complete and utter hyperfixation, which has captivated me and yanked me back into active fandom participation for the first time in years.

Why? Because...

[i-will-write]

The feeling when you type a single sentence for the first time in months

[niuniente]

I wrote under this post by @commandermorganwrites about the tarots we see in the motel behind Lucy and Cooper, but I wanted to make my own post about the topic, too. I'd be happy to hear everyone's thoughts about this!

A tarot person here! Generally speaking, Kings and Queens of the same symbol - here the swords - are considered a good omen. They talk about a team or a couple which is balanced (same symbol, both royals and not like other one is King and the other one is Knight). Together, The King and The Queen of the same symbol can take on the whole world but they might collide because they're a bit too similar. In this case, the Swords follow their own rules and expect the others follow these same rules, period.

Swords royals are strict, follow rules, can be distant and cold in their pursues of their goals, but they're not ruthless when upright. They do things which can seem cold but there's a very valid logic behind it. They both rule firmly, with logic and they are analyzing everything. Their trickiest part is how to handle emotions, as they are both so logical and follow the rules, especially the rules they have set for themselves. Page -> Queen -> King -> Ace form a line of enlightenment, reaching out something through evolution. The page starts this new journey with curiosity and desire to gain more knowledge and clarity; the knight continues the journey with passion towards knowledge but is still a bit immature or wet behind his ears; the queen has established a solid foundation in the element's energy with knowledge and wisdom; the king rules even bigger area with even greater wisdom; and the ace is the point when the person has learned everything the page, the knight, the queen and the king teach. It is a culmination of all these cards' meanings, and signifies new beginnings, especially when it comes thinking, thoughts, logic and goals with the Ace of Swords.

Ace of Swords overcomes confusion, it's the clarity of mind, it's that moment where you go "Oh no, what have I done?!" or "Oh, this is how things actually are!" It is righteous, calling for justice, and since this whole journey is from Page of Swords to Ace of Swords, it symbolizes a steady pace towards a goal that will be reached. The person will get justice. The confusion will go away. The clarity will win. AHA moments will be meaningful and create change, both inside the person and outside of them.

If these cards are for Lucy, it represents her journey on the outside world; she starts with a naive logic, learning more, adapting, realizing that some of her logic is solid and sound but it doesn't work exactly the way she imagines. She pursues justice and will have it, even if she had to do it herself. She will eventually conquer the outside world and become a capable person to navigate the world, albeit she is changed in that progress (aka too much naive energy has to go). Her "Golden Rule" and everything else similar, which Lucy follows strictly even when she didn't had to, is typical for Swords cards.

If these are cards for Cooper, then I would read them as his regular worldview and how he has used to be will change. As he has been on his journey for 200 years, he is at the King of Swords now and is reaching for the Ace of Swords - the ultimate clarity, the clearest answers, the clear view - but how he gets there might not be the way he thinks he will get there (as Aces are extremely powerful and do recall a wake up call in some cases). This can also mean that the clarity Cooper gets is that bargaining with Lucy is not just a simple gig like in the past but this one SUCKS and he was not anticipating it. The King of Swords' issue is lack of emotions and he will reach his highest potential - The Ace of Swords - by understanding that in order to survive, in order to rule as a king, one needs to respect their emotions and feelings, too.

Fool's card for Cooper can be a message of its literal meaning "fool -> look you idiot, what did you do?!" because he followed so tightly his own King of Swords logic. Even when he hesitated, Cooper still chose Sword's energy. It can (also) mean, that this is a new territory to Cooper - Fool is a brand new beginning where the old ways (beliefs, thinking, behavior, personality, life style, job etc.) have to go. If so, he just reached his Ace of Swords, and every Ace is followed by The Fool, the new beginning.

And what is Cooper's own card? Page of Cups! Page, the beginner of a new journey, and Cups represent emotions and feelings. He just had an epiphany through Ace of Swords, to start a new journey with The Fool towards the Ace of Cups, and it begins with the Page of Cups. When a person masters Ace of Cups, they have mastered lessons of love, empathy, compassion and emotions. Basically, one could say that the old Cooper Howard within Ghoul has awakened and he's backtracking to his old self.

[commandermorganwrites]

Was doing another rewatch of the betrayal scene (what can I say, I'm a masochist) and noticed something interesting in the background when the Ghoul is attempting to justify the betrayal to Lucy (and ostensibly, himself)

I cleaned up the image a bit, but here it is. The art behind him is of The Fool in tarot. I even think I might've found the exact image, thanks to Wikipedia?

Anywho, I'm by no means a tarot expert, but generally, The Fool card signifies new beginnings, with an overall positive interpretation if the card is upright, but an overall more negative interpretation if reversed. General positive meanings suggest idealism, freedom, innocence, etc. - good new beginnings. General negative meanings are more in line with what the average person probably associates with the word "fool"- stupid, reckless, etc. It still suggests new beginnings, but beginnings leading to paths one should be cautious traveling, and/or reluctance to undertake these paths. Its position behind Cooper is upright, and it's interesting to consider what this can mean. Obviously, I could be looking wayyy too deep into this (and probably am), but set design is typically pretty intentional, and we've seen throughout the show many instances of little hints and clues nestled in the background of scenes and frames. Personally, I like to think the design choice, in this moment, is absolutely intentional. After all, Cooper is definitely at the crossroads of a new beginning here, and has been approaching one throughout the season, with Lucy's influence. All in all, I just thought this was neat to catch, and as I haven't yet seen it mentioned anywhere, I was excited to yap about it lol. Perhaps it's already been observed and noted, and I'm stating the obvious, but just in case it hasn't, and just in case I'm correct, and it does mean something ^.^ EDIT: Reviewed some more and found other tarot images- another beside the Fool behind Cooper, and four behind Lucy. However, these are harder to make out, and since as mentioned, I'm not very familiar with tarot, and especially since these cards seem like they're possibly from a more obscure deck compared to what I and most others recognize, I'm not too sure what they could represent. My best guess on one of the cards behind Lucy is the Ace of Swords reversed*? Which, if correct, seems to indicate confusion, lack of or reluctance to accept ideas, wrong decisions, miscommunication, etc. Generally just not a great sign. I can't make out the others, so I'm posting the images I grabbed here, in case someone more well-versed in tarot recognizes them and can contribute what they might mean- I at least would love to find out! I'll keep digging on my end and update again if I find anything new. I love a new rabbit hole to dive into <3 *took another look, and actually think now it's the Ace of Swords Upright- hand appears to be at the bottom of the card, if this is indeed Ace of Swords. If so, indicates realizing the truth, making decisions, etc. Makes sense to me for this situation Lucy finds herself in- both positions the card could be in do, really

EDIT TO THE EDIT: Believe the second image by Coop is the Page of Cups! It's from the same deck as The Fool, which I'm having quite a time of trying to track down images for lol. Anyway, if correct, the Page of Cups Upright indicates youthfulness, idealism, happy news, romance (👀), just generally good news it seems, and emotional openness. Gonna keep looking for Lucy's!

FINAL EDIT (maybe): Someone found the deck all of the cards appear to be in (thanks so much again, csishewolf!) and I agree with their assessment on what Lucy's cards appear to be- The King of Swords, Queen of Swords, Page of Swords, and Ace of Swords. Many, many swords for Miss Lucy here. Generally, these all seem to indicate who Lucy is and who she's evolving to be, especially perhaps after this betrayal. Again, not really a tarot person, so would love to see someone who is tackle what these might mean! This was a lot of fun to hunt down and think on, so much fun it's past midnight now and I still haven't had dinner 😅Off I go, but yeah. This was fun C:

[weapon13whitefang]

Hello! Just wanted to add something for people. I'm a Theatre and Cinema major. One class I had to take was a script-writing class. In that class we also discussed and analyzed set design. Scripts and Sets generally need to coincide to tell the story and portray a message. Everything on a set needs to be intentional. From the sound choice to the color of wardrobe to the wallpaper color. It all has to fit together for something. The lighting in this scene is a good example.It's warm but also has dark spots and it silhouettes Lucy and the Ghoul in scenes. It's inviting but foreboding. There's a lot of ways you could look at that, which is good because there's a lot of ways Lucy and Ghoul could go after this incident.

Also, the Tarot cards are most definitely intentional. They tell a story all their own. That's what Tarot reading is in a way. They represent major life events and archetypes in a persons life. Past or present. All the cards around Ghoul make sense given that he has had to fall back into how Cooper Howard was and still be The ghoul in a world he has traversed for 200 years. Of course he's gonna be at a crossroad with that. Lucy is his parallel. Whether you ship them or not, she's him. She's Cooper Howard. Trusting, Naive, strong but soft. That is what Cooper was. He was a man who was pulled into a dark web he still has not escaped. Lucy was born in a dark web she still has not escaped either. They're parallels and foils to one another.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you're probably not at all crazy about the cards in the background meaning something. Good catch.

[commandermorganwrites]

Was doing another rewatch of the betrayal scene (what can I say, I'm a masochist) and noticed something interesting in the background when the Ghoul is attempting to justify the betrayal to Lucy (and ostensibly, himself)

I cleaned up the image a bit, but here it is. The art behind him is of The Fool in tarot. I even think I might've found the exact image, thanks to Wikipedia?

Anywho, I'm by no means a tarot expert, but generally, The Fool card signifies new beginnings, with an overall positive interpretation if the card is upright, but an overall more negative interpretation if reversed. General positive meanings suggest idealism, freedom, innocence, etc. - good new beginnings. General negative meanings are more in line with what the average person probably associates with the word "fool"- stupid, reckless, etc. It still suggests new beginnings, but beginnings leading to paths one should be cautious traveling, and/or reluctance to undertake these paths. Its position behind Cooper is upright, and it's interesting to consider what this can mean. Obviously, I could be looking wayyy too deep into this (and probably am), but set design is typically pretty intentional, and we've seen throughout the show many instances of little hints and clues nestled in the background of scenes and frames. Personally, I like to think the design choice, in this moment, is absolutely intentional. After all, Cooper is definitely at the crossroads of a new beginning here, and has been approaching one throughout the season, with Lucy's influence. All in all, I just thought this was neat to catch, and as I haven't yet seen it mentioned anywhere, I was excited to yap about it lol. Perhaps it's already been observed and noted, and I'm stating the obvious, but just in case it hasn't, and just in case I'm correct, and it does mean something ^.^ EDIT: Reviewed some more and found other tarot images- another beside the Fool behind Cooper, and four behind Lucy. However, these are harder to make out, and since as mentioned, I'm not very familiar with tarot, and especially since these cards seem like they're possibly from a more obscure deck compared to what I and most others recognize, I'm not too sure what they could represent. My best guess on one of the cards behind Lucy is the Ace of Swords reversed*? Which, if correct, seems to indicate confusion, lack of or reluctance to accept ideas, wrong decisions, miscommunication, etc. Generally just not a great sign. I can't make out the others, so I'm posting the images I grabbed here, in case someone more well-versed in tarot recognizes them and can contribute what they might mean- I at least would love to find out! I'll keep digging on my end and update again if I find anything new. I love a new rabbit hole to dive into <3 *took another look, and actually think now it's the Ace of Swords Upright- hand appears to be at the bottom of the card, if this is indeed Ace of Swords. If so, indicates realizing the truth, making decisions, etc. Makes sense to me for this situation Lucy finds herself in- both positions the card could be in do, really

EDIT TO THE EDIT: Believe the second image by Coop is the Page of Cups! It's from the same deck as The Fool, which I'm having quite a time of trying to track down images for lol. Anyway, if correct, the Page of Cups Upright indicates youthfulness, idealism, happy news, romance (👀), just generally good news it seems, and emotional openness. Gonna keep looking for Lucy's!

FINAL EDIT (maybe): Someone found the deck all of the cards appear to be in (thanks so much again, csishewolf!) and I agree with their assessment on what Lucy's cards appear to be- The King of Swords, Queen of Swords, Page of Swords, and Ace of Swords. Many, many swords for Miss Lucy here. Generally, these all seem to indicate who Lucy is and who she's evolving to be, especially perhaps after this betrayal. Again, not really a tarot person, so would love to see someone who is tackle what these might mean! This was a lot of fun to hunt down and think on, so much fun it's past midnight now and I still haven't had dinner 😅Off I go, but yeah. This was fun C:

[commandermorganwrites]

I always knew Cooper was a whiskey kind of man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[commandermorganwrites]

Me when I see people online talking about Garrus: 

[commandermorganwrites]

Of late: Me when I see people online talking about Ghoulcy

[commandermorganwrites]

Ode to the Other Girls

I was seventeen and caught between A girlhood and my future When a man I've never known Imparted upon me what he believed Was a pearl of praise and wisdom "Don't wear it that way," he had to say Pointing at the flowers I wore, Crowned upon my head

"It makes you look like all the other girls."

My fangs were not quite yet long enough, My courage a diamond in the rough, To tell him what it was I wanted to "But mister," is what I wish I'd said, Replaying the sepia memory within my head "I want to look like all the other girls." For the other girls, they stride boldly (yet never coldly) My cavernous chest becomes a home when they laugh, And braid my hair for me with flowers, For I never learned how

The other girls are crafted of love and light, And so I think it very right That from that moment, I have grown Just like all the other girls.

[commandermorganwrites]

My heart was the crater

And you, the meteorite

I took to be a wishing star

There is an irony here-

That which I wished upon

To make me whole

Is what emptied me for good

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[commandermorganwrites]

Vote

I love you, you say

As you cast your vote

For someone

So far from loving me,

They think I shouldn't exist

[commandermorganwrites]

One May night I stand

With bare toes curled

Around the grass

And to my lips,

Pressed a glass

Of cranberry wine

And I crane my neck,

So undignified,

Up to the sky

And I see: two planes,

And the suggestion

Of a star

I weigh the pros and cons

Of living and my life

Cons: I will never know

A great love-

Whatever the fuck that means

Con: I live as though

I'm in a drama-

A very boring drama,

The likes of which

Win prestigious awards

I ponder death casually,

Wonder if I can brave

The ennui of old age

But alas it's time

To weigh the pros;

I am not so depressed

That I can't count those

Pro: Maybe a kiss

To the forehead

And someone who wonders

Where you were

Can make up the loss

Of a great love

Pro: I like dramas,

And they sure beat

Tragedies, or

Adam Sandler movies

I tip my head back and drain

The sweet bitter

Of cranberry wine

And with my eyes

To the sky

I can just make them out-

A smattering

Of distant stars

[commandermorganwrites]

I waft as a ghost through these halls

Each room a memory,

Each memory a burden,

Each burden a gift,

Wrested from my soul,

But it was a good fight

I drift up behind you,

Press my fingertips

To the nape of your neck

And wonder if you feel me

Wonder if you know I am here-

Wonder if you knew I was there

[commandermorganwrites]

Darling, is it any wonder

You feel that you have never

Fit in anywhere?

There are not walls on this earth

High enough to contain you;

You are a creature meant

To mingle with the moon

And coalesce with the stars

[commandermorganwrites]

Everyone say thank you, mass effect modders

[commandermorganwrites]

Vote

I love you, you say

As you cast your vote

For someone

So far from loving me,

They think I shouldn't exist