take everything i say with a grain of absurdity

we all came from the same soup, so that makes us cousins. | Armenian. they/he. born 1999. {pfp by bum-dragon on insta}

[cousinsam]

take everything I say with a grain of absurdity except when it comes to genocide. genocide is genocide. nothing absurd about that.

[tanadrin]

I hope there’s an afterlife so that whoever made this pot 2,000 years ago can brag that their cookware is so good it’s still usable literally millennia later. Something about this object being lost for centuries and then rediscovered, and being put (successfully) to its original purpose again is so pleasing to me.

[cryptotheism]

Some Uzbek digging a canal: “Oh fuck yes a free pot. This rules.”

[sanguinifex]

I think it’s kind of beautiful that this pot just got used as an ordinary pot. Like imagine you’re a smith and you make a pot so good that people are using it 2000 years later. You’d be proud, right?

[notlikingbestgirl]

Out of Touch

[hustlerose]

Out of Touch Thursday

[arbyscurlyfries666-deactivated2]

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

[snuv]

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

[rockmilkshake]

happy birthday.

[saltwatersweets]

this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this

[teaboot]

There is a reality not so far from our own in which Ratitouille (2007) was filmed as an avant-garde conceptual horror akin to Eraserhead (1977)

[teaboot]

There is a young American man in France. His mother has passed away. He has few friends, and works the thankless job of a bus boy in a prestigious restaurant, but dreams of becoming a chef despite having very little skill.

He returns one night to his humble apartment, which is known to have vermin, and comes across a rat, which he could easily kill or set loose on the street.

But the rat- it is special. It seems to speak to him. Promises him every little thing he desires- talent, fame, and fortune. Recognition and esteem like he has only ever seen from afar; fine company like the wealthy men and women whose scraps he picks at over the sink.

Put me on your head, the rat says. Put me on your head and think of nothing.

It is strange at first, yes. Strange to feel another take control of his life and live it better than he ever could. To see miraculous things created with his own two hands, to feel his feet move in graceful and fantastic ways with a confidence he has never had.

But the rat delivers as he had promised: he receives promotions, notoriety, admiration. He is noticed. Envied. Every day is a waking dream, rubbing elbows with beautiful women and handsome men and influential personalities who lavish him with praise. It is addictive, this lifestyle- never mind that he is only ever truly conscious of it as a passenger of in own brain.

It is when he has reached heights few can ever conceive, with all that the rat had ever promised- a beautiful wife in a beautiful house with all the world in his palm, in possession of all the wealth and success a man could ever want, that the rat says that it is leaving.

Leaving? The rat cannot leave. Everything he is, the rat has provided.

"I have delivered on our bargain", the rat says. "I have brought to you all that you have ever dreamed. What more could you desire? I must live my own life, now."

The man is furious. He is terrified. He destroys the rat, in all of the ways that a rat can be destroyed, until nothing is left of it but a fine smear of marinara sauce.

He returns to the restaurant the next day moving like the shell of something hollowed-out and brittle. He cooks well- his fingers remember the movements, his eyes recognize the patterns, his mouth knows without his asking what orders to speak and what platitudes make patrons smile pleasantly with their straight white teeth.

He retains the talents of the rat. The charm of the rat. All the worldly pleasures the rat had provided him.

Still, it seems, he is little more than a vessel for the talents of the rat.

But the rat is gone.

What remains of the man?

[teaboot]

You see my vision

[pinkyprincessnom]

Reminder folks, discord still has it's global age verification plans happening this year in the start of June

Best we start cancelling nitro's subscription, send feedback, or make fire on other platforms, and still give fire to your local/state/federal representatives about these age verification laws they brought into the world wide web.

Can we do that everyone

@d0esery @gentleman-velvet @roxfox5 @hannahhook7744 @youtube-privacy-union

I need you guys to spread this far and wide as humanly possible

[d0esery]

⭐️🌐HEY SPREAD THE NEWS GUYS🌐⭐️

DO NOT SUPPORT DISCORD! CANCEL YOUR NITRO! DON'T SUPPORT SITES OR PEOPLE THAT PUSH THIS!

(Thank you, @pinkyprincessnom , for the news :) 💕👍)

[fus-mar-hoz]

it is the 15th of April, 1919, a calm day in Milan. The recently formed Fasci di Combattimento march towards the office of Avanti!, the newspaper of the PSI. They force their way in and ransack the place, destroying equipment and setting fire to every piece of paper they can get their hands on. An editor faces down the barrel of a gun and realizes: "if only we'd published abstract and experimental art"

April 28th, 1945. soviet forces are bearing down on Berlin like a bulldozer, preceded by a hailstorm of ordinance. the cutting edge abstract art machine guns tear apart the cement facades of Berlin's government district, pushing the hitlerite regime to its limits and over them, Hitler cannot bear the psychological torment of his reality being torn apart by the legions of experimental artists levied to free Europe from fascism.

[sillywormz]

i went to "mad at me" island expecting to find people i knew, something i understood. but when my boat landed, standing upon the shore were a million empty husks wearing my own face. every foot of the island was occupied, and everywhere i went, they watched me with contempt. they never spoke, never breathed. they simply watched. no matter how i grovelled and begged, snarled and cursed, tried to hide or kicked and hit, they simply stared. the hatred in their gaze was inescapable, but i could hardly return it, knowing that their doomed existence was of my own creation. knowing that the hatred was nobody's but my own. in the end i just wept, unable to stand the relentless gaze of my own infinite glare.

the guy who i accidentally cut off in traffic last week was there also

[covid-safer-hotties]

The pandemic isn’t over—and queer people shouldn’t be acting like it is | Xtra Magazine

ANALYSIS: As a community, we talk a good talk about keeping each other safe, so why aren’t we doing it now? 

[redstonedust]

i do find the rules around clothes fascinating because of how made up it all is. we invented the idea of covering our bodies from the elements because we lack fur like other mammals and then made up all these rules around it and now people will unironically tell you "men cant wear skirts its unnatural" girl none of this is natural. we are born naked and made up the rest as we went along. hope this helps.

[alpaca-clouds]

Also whenever people get angry about people covering up too much or too little of a body. No, running around naked is bad. Nude tits are bad, at least on a perceived female body. Genitals are also inherently evol, apparently. But if someone decides to cover their hair in certain ways that is also evil because it clearly has to mean they are oppressed.

[fujoshane]

evil blue horse at denver airport and pharaoh ilya assembling to discuss my fate

[biracy]

Basically I think a lot of White ppl think the antithesis to racism is "Black people are inherently Cool, White people are inherently Lame" and it's just very hard to convince them that this is also extremely racist lmfao

[biracy]

It's the combination of "seeing a racialized group as Fundamentally Inherently Good is still dehumanizing and you aren't seeing them as people" and "your self-flagellating White guilt is extremely annoying for the people of color around you to deal with"

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[cranity]

it doesn't make sense

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

[punk-squirrely-ghost]

Explain.

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

try and tell me literally any one of these would not fit above a short story about two wholly random men from the MCU fingering each other, or possibly 12 chapters of one or more characters from a CW show being in high school while having a photogenic but terminal kind of cancer. try.

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

ok so i want to say in hindsight i think i could probably have been clearer

[cheaphalloweencostume]

Patagonia is posting notes app social media half-added apologies over their lawsuit 😭😭😭

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i mean. i’ll always side with the human over the company anyway. but these are markedly different

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!