E8D

He/It/She Emyt, 26

[naninadz]

wtf gay ass walk

[mevil]

my beautiful wife that is scared of a closed window at night

[slitherpunk]

[birdyaviary]

[fullmetalfisting]

Tbh germ theory DOES sound crazy. Like if you told a regency-era nobleman that tiny creatures lived on the surface of everything and THAT’S what causes consumption, they’d be like “ah, I see you are a lunatic. Would you reside in my hermitage? Rantings and ravings do so amuse my guests”

[mysteryteacup]

But if you told a Medieval person this they would probably go "Ah, so when the miasma settles on surfaces it gains evil life. I understand."

[alarajrogers]

Yeah, actually, it would probably be pretty easy to explain germ theory to a Medieval person as tiny evil spirits that live on everything, but they can be purified by soap and water, or by alcohol, because that is why God has granted us those things. And because they can float in the air, if you cough or sneeze after they have infested you, that can cause them to infest others. And when you are sick, the angels God has deputized to defend the bodies of His beloved children are at war with the evil spirits, and, sadly, sometimes they lose, but the best way to help your angels win their battle is to rest, drink plenty (this would probably be small beer in this time period, not water, because the water was also infested), stay clean, and for the sake of God do not allow anyone to let your blood, for the angels need that blood in their war against the evil spirits. Bloodletting is good for some types of illnesses but not the kinds caused by the tiny evil spirits.

[chekhovs-raygun]

boiling as a sterilization measure is also easy to explain. water returns to the air when heated and it rises as steam back up to the floodgates of heaven; we know God created the world in seven days, He's not up there making more water every time it rains. it circulates. the returning of water to heaven also purifies the water of unclean and malign influences. you know wormy water from a muddy puddle will kill your kid. you know you wouldn't wade into a bog and have a slurp. water that remains in the low places of earth absorbs all that is unclean from our waste and it may also sponge up new diseases from hell, we're not totally sure about that one, but it seems likely. God set up the heavenly water cycle so that the earth's waters wouldn't totally fill up with gunk.

what does this have to do with boiling your surgical tools? well look, the boiling water releases bubbles of steam which carries the malign influences up to heaven. you boil a knife, you send all the miasmic particles off with the steam to heaven. if you rinse the knife off in a bucket the water isn't hot enough, the particles go into the water and then right back on to the knife. you gotta boil it to get the particles all the way away. how can a tool or rag or a bed have miasmic particles on it when you can't smell them? humans have a lousy sense of smell. look at your dog on the hunt. are there no rabbits in the woods just because you can't smell them? we know that miasma is carried on the air, and is what makes stench so dangerous, and we know that humans can't smell worth a damn compared to dogs cats horses etc. a dog can smell if a rat died in a corner of the room last week. you can't. do you think licking the spot where the rat died is going to go well for you? luckily, what humans lack in snout we make up for in brains. we have extra brains where our sniffers should have been. God set that up for a reason.

and why does a rinse with wine spirits work? man, look how fast alcohol evaporates. my guess is that because wine contains a lot more vice than water, it evaporates a whole lot faster, in sort of an equal and opposite way that a rock falls faster than a feather. if you want the miasmic particles to get off there FAST, you dunk it in something that's going back to heaven at a gallop.

what's up with honey? it just preserves things against corruption. doesn't clean them off. honey doesn't evaporate at all. probably because bees don't sin. it's not good for ridding a tool of particles-- it's sticky-- but fine for preserving anything you don't want to go to heaven OR hell. this is why you wash the wound with wine spirits or purified water FIRST, to sluice the miasma out, then slap the honey on AFTER. and boil the damn bandage, too. you wouldn't put a rotten door in a sound doorframe and expect it to keep out bandits, would you? cmon.

[shinyjolteon]

im gonna cry this person is so sweet to their fish

[liittlecreatures1985]

i love the way civil asset forfeiture cases are phrased

[liittlecreatures1985]

[thesunnyone-deactivated20210516]

oglaf.com - The Cult of Sithrak

[tax--payer]

just turned a mouse into a single ounce of lead

[swagdinner]

[rosie-dear-rosie]

I love you speculative biology. I love you worldbuilding projects. I love you creature design. I love you fantasy biology. I love you speculative evolution. I love you science fiction.

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[homunculus-argument]

Is there any masculine haircut that looks good on straight, flat hair? Cuts that work well on curly hair look bad on straight hair because the texture doesn't support it, and cuts that are specifically designed to work with straight hair are evidently all either ugly, high-maintenance, or both.

[afluffymugcake]

I thought I'd search Google for why not and found t h i s

Yeah. Uuh. """"Effortlessly cool....""""

[homunculus-argument]

Shit like this is exactly what I mean by "haircuts for straight hair look bad because they're ugly".

[discordant-tongues]

my guy models as a side gig when he’s not plowing the fields for his lord

[homunculus-argument]

The lord makes him keep his hair like that to keep him from plowing the lord's wife also.

[thebestoftumbling]

[keysmash-warrior-deactivated202]

NooOOO

[samojon]

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[altamont498]

Those appear to be bird tracks rather than bunny tracks! Ergo, it was a bird hopping and then taking off, not a bunny getting taken away!

[danceintheskies]

oh my god thank you phoenix wright

[dinnermess-deactivated20200529]

yeah those aren’t bunny tracks.

[saffarren]

Forgive my sceptism, but why would a bird with a supposedly wide wingspan hop around in the snow in the first place when tree branches would suffice in the beginning?

Feel free to explain that.

[tinysaurus-rex-deactivated20240]

I’ll be real I don’t know much about Phoenix Wright. But! I do know a lot about birds.

The mighty ptarmagin! Practically a feathered rabbit, these magnificent creatures are built for the snow.

Look at those boots! Wonderfully feathered. They spend most of their time as little snow lumps.

In fact, they’re very well known for the above phenomenon.

These ptarmagin trails are a pretty common sight!

[valiantlyrainybouquet]

Reblog for the little snow lumps ✨

[baishujinkou]

[prokopetz]

Reasons why computer problems seem to mysteriously vanish as soon as a technician shows up:

You were spacing out and skipping a step somewhere without realising it, and you can’t reproduce it when you try to demonstrate it because now you’re paying attention to what you’re doing

It’s an intermittent electrical connection fault that’s being aggravated by movement/vibrations in your desk; you need to check your cables

The act of explaining the problem to someone caused you to figure out what you were doing wrong

The real cause of the problem was somewhere upstream of your terminal device – for example, at the network service provider – and it got fixed at the source while you were waiting

Your computer is in a location with poor airflow and is overheating; waiting for the technician to arrive gave it a chance to cool off

Despite all appearances to the contrary, modern computers actually have very good fault recovery, and most minor problems will sort themselves out on their own if you give it a minute

Magic

[bookshelfdreams]

the computer doesn’t respect you. next time, try firm eye contact to establish dominance.

[withered-tears]

The computer has a crush on the technician and was making excuses to see them again

[kaity--did]

does anyone else have a partner that has to do little tasks or he will explode?

[kaity--did]

I mean to be loved is to be known and to be adored is to have everyone you love also be known so this man is just be bopping around the house "bug proofing" (making it more inhabitable for my nonverbal autistic brother who is coming to visit) and a few days before my family gets here my mom and dads favorite drinks show up in the fridge and pepper jack cheese shows up in the crisper drawer and all the key pads are reset to the same number that my parents key pads are set to so it's easier for them. Two days before they get here the light cream my dad takes in his coffee that you can only find at once specific store will be in the fridge in the same place my dad keeps it at home. The back yard has been raked and leaves blown into piles so my brother can freely elope in the backyard without slipping and falling but the leaves have not been completely dealt with so that my dad can go out and rake when he gets overwhelmed and needs to divest from holiday conversations.

I am on face time with my mom running about and actively destroying the house (tearing open boxes like feral raccoon and showing her presents I've purchased for Penny for the holidays) and she is laughing at my husband (who is so tall his face does not show in the camera at all so it's just midriff and legs) expertly and silently waltzing around me folding laundry and picking up scraps of paper.

He comes down stairs with a smile on his face and a screw driver in his hand tells me "he's nothing without his little tasks" but he is everything to me.

[summerf0x]

Pikmin from the Pikmin’s pov is incredibly funny. Imagine you’re in a small group of people in the woods and you’re on the verge of starvation when all of a sudden Bigfoot comes out of the trees and gives you food in exchange for helping him collect some giant scrap in the woods. He can speak a couple of words like “follow me” and “get that”, but otherwise he’s incomprehensible and his main way of keeping you safe from predators is either by throwing you at them or beating the shit out of them with his bare hands. It’s a really weird situation for all of you but hey you’re getting fed and at least it’ll make for a really entertaining story if anyone believes you. You help Bigfoot rebuild his giant house that can fly, and once you’ve gotten all of his pieces he waves goodbye and leaves in said giant house. You assume he’s gone forever, and move on with your life with fond memories of your brief time under Bigfoot’s leadership. A couple days later, he comes back. You know who’s with him? Another Bigfoot. I’d lose my mind.

[enki2]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[ooppo]

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

[ooppo]

not that i care

[ooppo]