People getting punched in the face

Exactly What It Says On The Tin

[bluelvyofficial]

[lizawithazed]

the best part is a whole bunch of artists took him up on it so there’s just an entire thread of Grunkle Stan face-punching nazis and it’s beautiful

[transfaer]

Unrelated, but entirely needed.

[pasteloshi-blog-deactivated2022]

Jotaro is ready for the holidays

[crimethincingofawhitechristmas]

Discourse is over

Now we criticize with our fists like adults

[ccorinthian]

all i want from star wars is a direct fight between the two generals

let General Leia punch General Hux in the fuckin face

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

barista: hi! what can i get for you?

me: punch me in the face

barista: what?

me: it's on the secret menu

[beingbyzantine-deactivated20161]

And…in honor of St. Nicholas Day: “I Saw Santa Punching Arius” Everyone’s favorite story about St. Nicholas, sung to the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” :)

I saw Santa punching Arius in the council chambers at Nicaea.

He just couldn’t stand to hear the heretic expand his theory how Our Blessed Lord was not much more than just a man.

Then I saw Santa grabbing Arius by the beard to pull him off his chair. The other bishops were justified, in assuming this was undignified throwing Santa in a cell for the night.

I saw Jesus and His Mother come to Santa praying in his chains.

Christ asked, “Why are you here?” “All for my love of You.” Off fell the chains and to him was given the pallium and the Gospels.

St. Nick went back up to the chamber amazing everyone at the sight. They said, “It must have been righteous anger!” “It is Arius we must excommunicate.” “The Son is consubstantial with the Father.”

(source)

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

N.B.: crowningmomentoffacepunch does not support physical violence as a legitimate means of resolving theological debate.

But this will never not be funny...

[askmrtorgue]

LIST OF PROBLEMS THAT CANNOT BE SOLVED BY PUNCHING

ARM TIRED FROM TOO MUCH PUNCHING

CERTAIN SUDOKU PUZZLES

END OF LIST

[gleneth-paltrow-deactivated2018]

PROBLEM ONE CAN BE SOLVED BY USING YOUR OTHER ARM?

[askmrtorgue]

WE ARE IN A BRAVE NEW FRONTIER

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Captain Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) Punchee: Dr. Arnim Zola

Memorable Lines: "Your death amounts to the same as your life: A zero sum."

Why it’s Awesome: Not many people have the opportunity to die for their country and live to see the result. Steve Rogers sacrificed everything to finally defeat Hydra once and for all - but while he slept in the ice, they reformed and regrew and are ready to rise up stronger than ever before. In which case - what was the point of it all? That is the taunt Dr. Zola, now reborn as some kind of weird cybernetic monstrosity, throws at him, and it's a taunt to which Steve at this point has no answer. No answer besides a punch in the face that is. Note - Steve has his shield, he could easily have smashed the monitor if that had been his goal. But it isn't. His goal is to punch someone in the face, in an act of futile catharsis. Because Zola can just move to a different monitor and keep laughing at him; Hydra isn't in the system - Hydra is the system, and when you punch one face, two more grow back. But that's not a reason to give up, just a reason to keep punching people in the face.

Where to find it?: Captain America: the Winter Soldier (2014)

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Pearl Punchee: Peridot

Memorable Lines:"That's right! I am a Pearl!"

Why it’s Awesome: Peridot is a terrible house guest. Not only does she spend all her time hiding out in the bathroom so that Steven has to pee outside, she also treats Pearl as her own personal servant. The Gem Homeworld seems to have had a pretty rigid caste system, with Pearls right down at the bottom as little more than accessories to more powerful Gems. Even abandoned on a doomed world having lost everything, Peridot still has her pride and she can still be above Pearl, whom she sees as a literal object, albeit a fancy one. But Pearl has been struggling with insecurities over who and what she is for some time now, and even duking it out in Humongous Mecha isn't enough to overcome them. It takes a punch in the face. Pearl finally stands up for herself, not inspite of her identity but because of it, delivering not just a literal facepunch to Peridot, but a metaphorical one to the entire tyrannical structure of mainstream Gem society. And it's the first step, not just to Pearl accepting herself, but to her and Peridot taking each other seriously enough to begin to work together. That cooperation is crucial to the future of the planet itself, and it begins like all great things with the self-actualizing catharsis of a punch in the face.

Where to find it?: Steven Universe, "Back to the Barn"

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Blinkin Punchee: Man in Tights

Memorable Lines:

We're men, we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! We may look like sissies, But watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!

Why it’s Awesome: No self-respecting Robin Hood should be without his band of Merry Men. But what is the point of being a Merry Man, much less a Merry Man in Tights, if you can't have awesome song and dance numbers? As Robin's oldest and most faithful family servant, it would be unconscionable to disqualify Blinkin simply for reason of being completely blind. It does however present certain challenges, particularly to the people standing next to him (although nothing a really tight choreography couldn't solve). But being a blind bandit is serious business, and Blinkin packs a punch to be proud of. And why settle for a stage punch, when a real punch will do just as well? Singing about punching people in the face is pretty great; actually punching them in the face, even accidentally, is even better.

Where to find it?: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

this post requested and masterminded by airbuilder7, with our sincere apologies for the long delay

Puncher: Kim Possible Punchee: Dr. Drakken

Memorable Lines: "You’re right, Drakken. Boys, dating… it’s hard. But this - is easy

Why it’s Awesome: Dr. Drakken has always been Kim’s arch-foe. And here at last, in what was intended to be the series finale, he has his finger on Kim's weaknesses: Her family and her self-confidence. Or as he frames it, "boys boys boys." With information gained from her rocket-scientist dad and extensive slumber-party based research, he engineers for her a "perfect boyfriend" with a personality designed to slice through Kim’s defenses, and just in time for prom too. Learning that she fell for a lie is the final blow to Kim's self confidence.

But heroes only fall so they can rise to greater glory. And in researching Kim's weaknesses, Dr. Drakken failed to account for her strengths: her allies, and, well, her strength. And there are two things that rebuild confidence like no other: finally expressing your feelings for your best friend and will-the-won't-they love interest, and punching your arch-nemesis in the face.

Where to find it?: Kim Possible, "So the Drama"

[thinkingredwizard]

The Ring of Rassilon, which I made and which you can now buy for yourself!!! :D It’s available in metal, so you can create wax seals for writing the Letters of Rassilon like this: 

Now, you too can return to Gallifrey to reclaim your Prydonian heritage! :P 

And if anyone challenges you, you can mark them as the Property of Rassilon by punching them in the face!!*

*The manufacturer cannot condone punching real people in the face, with the Ring of Rassilon or otherwise. Not many Time Lords were harmed in the testing of this procedure.  

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Peggy Carter Punchee: Gilmore Hodge

Memorable Lines: "What's with the accent, Queen Victoria? I thought I was signing up for the US Army"

Why it’s Awesome: Gilmore Hodge is one of the newest batch of Army recruits, full of American jingoism and 1940s sexism. And he has apparently not read his "How to Deal With the English" pamphlet, which might have reminded him not only that Britain has been in this war a whole lot longer than he has, but also that "A British woman officer or non-commissioned officer can and often does give orders to a man private. The men obey smartly and know it is no shame. For British women have proven themselves in this war... They have won the right to utmost respect." So Peggy Carter has to remind him herself. This is her character establishing moment. Challenged, she doesn't argue, but she meets the challenge "like a man" - by the book and in the only language Hodge understands: a swift decisive punch in the face.

Where to find it?: Captain America: the First Avenger (2011)

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Gintoki Sakata Punchee: Nobunobu Hitotsubashi

Memorable Lines: "We don’t need you police for this. A drunk’s fist is what suits a drunk."

Why it’s Awesome:  Shogun Nobunobu Hitotsubashi spearheaded the assassination of his eccentric but lovable predecessor Shigeshige Tokugawa, ordered the execution of Isao Kondo and Katakuriko Matsudaira, the commander and director of the police, and replaced them with elites loyal only to him. Just prior to this moment, he had two innocent hostesses murdered to prove a point and was about to kill another hostess for scolding him for it. Toshiro Hijikata, former Vice-Commander of the police and one of Kondo’s best friends, tries to punch him, but was intercepted by Gintoki, stopping him from attacking the new shogun in the presence of several policemen. Gintoki then proceeds to attack the new shogun in the presence of several policemen.

In addition to being pure catharsis, this punch shows how far Gintoki is willing to go for his friends. Gintoki, up to this point, had failed to save his teacher, failed to save Shigeshige, and failed to save Kondo. He knew full well that attacking Nobunobu would have dire consequences, and so he stopped his on-again off-again friend and rival from doing it and does it himself, taking everything upon himself for the people he cares about.

Where to find it: Gintama, Chapter 527

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Indiana Jones Punchee: Colonel Vogel

Memorable Lines: "No Ticket"

Why it’s Awesome:Nazis and zeppelins are two things that just go well together, much like Nazis and being punched in the face by Indiana Jones. When the Quest for the Holy Grail becomes a race against the Nazis, securing effective transportation is crucial. And that means zeppelins. Indy needs to make sure that not only is he on the Zeppelin bound in the direction of Alexandretta, but that his rival Colonel Vogel is not - and he can solve both problems by punching people in the face. And the best part is that it raises no suspicions, even when he throws a high-ranking officer overboard - he just seems like Germany's most dedicated ticket taker. If he can't punch your ticket, he's happy to punch your face, and none of the other passengers are willing to take the risk.

Where to find it?: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Dr. Harlene "Harley Quinn" Quinzel Punchee: Lobo

Memorable Lines: "Ya know what? I’ve just come out of a pretty abusive relationship. I’ve had a little bit of time. I’m starting to come to terms with a life without my Puddin’. And you know what I’ve decided? No one gets to lay a hand on me ever again"

Why it’s Awesome: Dr. Quinzel gave up an otherwise promising career in psychology when she had the misfortune to fall in love with her star patient. As Harley Quinn, she learned that playing sidekick to the Joker perhaps wasn't all she'd hoped, and that an insane criminal mastermind with a clown fetish and a bat obsession makes for a really terrible boyfriend. But even a textbook abusive relationship can be painfully difficult to recognize from the inside, and it takes branching off on her own for a while for Harley to begin to accept just how bad her situation was. So when she has a run-in with Lobo, alien biker/bounty hunter and high violence poster boy, Harley decides she has had enough of violence - directed against her, at any rate. He may not be the guy who hurt her, but he's a guy who's hurting her, and so she finally takes a stand for herself by giving him what he deserves - a punch in the face.

Where to find it?: Injustice, Year 1 Annual

[crowningmomentoffacepunch]

Puncher: Charles "Professor X" Xavier Punchee: Erik "Magneto" Lensherr

Memorable Lines:"I'm just not very good with violence..."

Why it’s Awesome: X-Men: First Class was at its heart a love story, doomed to tragedy. We watched as two dear friends came together then were driven ever more apart by their incompatible ideologies, leading ultimately to the confrontation that cost Charles Xavier his ability to walk and firmly establishing the primary battle lines of the franchise. Now ten years later they are forced to work together again - literally, by time travelling matchmaker Wolverine who needs their cooperation to combat a much greater threat to all mutantkind - and step one is to break Magneto out of high-security prison. Xavier has been having a rough time of it already: the weary pacifist, the crushed idealist, the man who gave up his powers not just so that he could walk, but so that he could sleep - and reconnecting with his best friend and worst enemy brings all this bubbling frustration and heartache and existential angst to a head in this fabulous moment of catharsis. It can be difficult to express your feelings, even for a literal mind reader; Xavier may be famously cerebral and non-violent, but nothing clears the air quite like a punch in the face.

Where to find it?: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)