a link to the legend

jay/leo/leora | they/he | 28

[timetravelstudies-deactivated20]

crossfaded off of birdsong and a ray of sunlight

[speedlimit15]

grocery store mission barely accomplished took massive damage to the hull and all internal systems. shield repair could take days

[scarletjohansson]

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS | S4E05

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[caffeinatedopossum]

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

[fatluka]

We don’t have to watch OKC Thunder play another game until next season. Time to #JerkOff.

[cannotacrowmb]

wemby is so great. he's 22. he had a potentially fatal blood clot. he's in a fantasy/sci-fi book club for nba players that's just him and one other guy. he beat the okc thunder in the nba cup semifinals and said immediately afterwards he was happy to be playing "ethical basketball" (implied: unlike them). he has a high kick so high that it can knock a basketball out of the hoop. he decided the best way to recover from the potentially fatal blood clot was training with shaolin monks. he could have had a career with fc barcelona but turned it down because the coaches weren't challenging him enough. he's 7'4". actually he's 2.24m because he's french. he cries on the court because he "refuses to hide the burden of [his] emotions." he elbowed a guy in the neck last week. he hates iso ball. he hates ICE. he's the first guy to win defensive player of the year in a unanimous vote. he's currently building a 7,500-piece lego model of the millennium falcon

[eclipxium]

There's rpf tinhatting and then there's "realistically, they've jerked off together at least once." It's different yk

[eclipxium]

You're literally the first person on all of these notes who got what this was really about.

[aropride]

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

[dragon-png]

[meow-moment]

[jerreeeeeee]

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

[jerreeeeeee]

what mutual is prev

my liege lord

my loyal knight

my wise wizard

my evil advisor

my brother in arms

my lady muse

my wild mermaid friend

my fellow alchemist

my dashing rapscallion

my monstrous foe

Remaining time: 2 days 16 hours

[copepods]

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

[copepods]

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

[lintubintu]

@holyknuckled like that?

[holyknuckled]

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

[palmer]

I’m going to the grocery store does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45 minutes

[jurynullification]

How much

[palmer]

Only 3400

[jurynullification]

hot damn 🏃‍♂️ cmon guys lets go 🏃‍♂️🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🧞‍♀️

[palmer]

ok I’m back you and your boyfriend and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your djinn can go

[girlballs]

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

[girlballs]

congratulations for writing the funniest and also most correct tags on this post

[kamyysh]

2 part of kcd themed tarot deck!

1 part

[kamyysh]

I'M FINNALY done with the kcd themed tarot deck

2 part