o(-(

Born to post, forced to lurk

[nutsobalanced]

Guys I promise I'm not a bot, pls don't ban me 🙏🙏🙏

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[memeclassheroes]

[rashemibabe]

Anybody want me to shut the fuck up for $500?

[s8riel]

[hannrum]

Omg i forgot i could also just post my superbat stuff on here💥💥

[mechabert]

Unfortunately, Flambae being a genius by accident is so funny to me.

It is, however, imperative he never realises he’s doing it. For example:

—

Robert and Roy? Tried solving a physics formula for the suit for a few hours. Days. Weeks, possibly.

Robert drank 5 days old coffee. Roy wrote his will just in case.

Flambae? Only stopped by to drop some food for his annoyingly cute boyfriend. Smack a few kisses on his cheeks. As a treat.

“Oh, that really fucking bothers me,” he gestures to the wall-long formula they’ve written on the whiteboard. “Hold on.”

He solves it.

While humming ‘hips don’t lie’.

“See! All you gotta do is manually decrease the propulsion heat when you reach peak altitude. Easy as shit. Or pie? Eh, shit sounds more badass.”

“…How did you do that.”

“Do what? I zoned out.”

—

“Hey, Bob-Bob, hand me the cutting board. I’m about to massacre these fucking onions. Bitches making MY boyfriend cry in my own damn house? I don’t think so.”

“…This is a laminated thermodynamics degree.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’ve had this thing since I finished college. But I can literally fly. Who gives a fuck about that.”

—

The nail in the coffin?

Vanderstenk.

Who, apparently, decided to give the whole supervillain thing a try. For Flambae specifically.

“YOU! I always knew our paths would meet again, Chadwick. Ever since your brilliant discovery in non-flammable fabric overshadowed me, I knew our rivalry would never end. My only equal. My only enemy.”

“Uh. No idea who the fuck you are, dude.”

“WE WERE COLLEGE. ROOMMATES. “

“Oh! Nope, don’t remember that. Can I get an autograph for my friend Vic, thought?”

Robert has never been more in love in his life. He also never had a worse headache.

[deletedunkown]

Bruce: *sniffing*

Bruce: did you change your shampoo? It smells different from the one you usually use.

Clark: oh, I did but it’s kinda weird that you know that B

~later in the batcave with Alfred~

Bruce: *head in his hands*: he thinks I’m weird

[animatedmess]

Clark’s internal monologue:

[faiyaart]

Superman's first meeting with Robin

a stupid unfunny joke

[vaasyaaa]

They're flirting

[ka-mi006]

Chad dragging Robert to a session with his court mandated therapist so he can heal and move on from the trauma of their fight (therapist’s words, not Chad’s) so that they can coexist.

Cut to the most insane couples-therapy-for-a-couple-not-together session.

Them just bickering stupid domestic shit, all the while Chad has a hand on Robert's knee and Robert unconsciously lean towards him...

The therapist jots down a lot of notes, most of which have very little to do with Robert's actual trauma and more about their relationship and how they can make it stronger—romantically.

When the therapist brings this up, they're both utterly baffled and jump to clarify that they aren't together in any way, shape or form. The therapist just stares at them patiently until they're both blushing messes.

[homunculus-argument]

A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.

[flufflogic]

Fourth circle needed: IT workers

[homunculus-argument]

You say that with such confidence that I am compelled to trust your vision. Personally I have no idea where this is going.

[trytocallmecal]

i'd say the overlap between "sex workers" and "people who work in morgues" is probably "seeing naked strangers a lot"

[homunculus-argument]

"professional handling of bodies of strangers"?

[small-gods-curator]

Putting my neck out for you folks here

[tryan-a-bex]

Okay I’ve gone through many of the reblogs and “prefer when clients don’t talk to them” is peak

[flamgayagenda]

This ... was NOT how Chad wanted this day to go. He had everything planned out perfectly, absolutely PERFECTLY!!

He was gonna come in to the office, show off his new techniques! Flash a smile and a grin, absolutely have Robert swooning. Chat the dispatcher up, flirt a little harder. Excude his pheromones and get Robert a little tempted. Chad could do it. He HAS done it!! Plenty of omega have lined up at his feet for him! Begged for his knot before they even finished dinner!!

Chad knew he was a prime Alpha who flaunted masculine, strong and powerful energy!!

So why ... in the absolute FUCK!!! Was Robert not taking the bait!?!? Chad looked good! He knows he does!! His hair was down and washed and styled! His clothes, a nice deep v neck to show off his chest, his pecs! Maybe not as deep cut as his Flambae costume, but fuck he certainly wasn't leaving much to imagination!! Jeans that looked like his ass was about to rip at the seams-- the fuck was wrong with this picture!?!

Chad was seething as he watched Robert toddle around, chatting to other fucking Alpha in the office, joking, snickering and then going to work with fucking-- that big ass islander guy- Royd?! The fuck!?!

Why in the shit was he being ignored!? Chad didn't think he could send out more of his scent or else all the omega from the next floor would come scrambling!! He had already fought off the ones on their current floor!

"Chad, Bae.... your smoking....." Prism says as she comes to stand next to him. He whips around with a look so venomous, even she took a step back. "Damn boy!! The fuck has your panties in a twist?!"

"Do I look like I'm ready to fuck right now?!" He growls out.

"... what?"

"Don't fucking 'what' me! Do I look fuckable right now!?!?"

Prism blinks once, twice. Three times. "I mean ya look hot is that what your asking--"

Chad grips at his hair. "I KNOW I look hot but do I look like I wanna fuck right now!?!"

"Boy, I dunno I guess why--"

A loud groan and slam of his head against the wall. He may have left a small dent. "You guess!?!?"

Prism growls back, "Why are you even asking"

"Becauseeeeeeee our fucking Dispatcher is either brain dead or doing this to purposely piss me off!!" Chad points across the way to Robert, who was chatting animatedly to Royd. Prism glances over, and then it clicks.

Ohh that's the problem. "You were looking to make a move today?" She asks (states) with a grin. "Annnnd Bobby boy isn't picking up what you layin' down is he."

Chad glares at Prism so hard, if his powers were linked to his eyes, she would be melted. She laughs. "It's not fucking funny!!" Chad growls out again, close to yelling.

"I'm sorry!! But it's kinda is!! You doing ALLLLL of this peacocking and Robert is just-- HA HA!! He ain't even payin' you no mind!!" She laughs nearly bent over, nearly falling to the floor and isn't that just a salt to the wound.

Chad can feel the vein forming in his jaw. "For fucks sake what does a guy gotta do to--"

"Have you ACTUALLY asked him!?" She says finally catching her breathe. Chad stops .... looks anywhere but at her.

".... no.... But cmon!! I'm standing here ready and waiting, I've given off more pheramones that cannot be taken as anything other than--"

"And when has Robert EVER said you have to do all that!? You-- WE-- all know Robert doesn't pay attention to any of that shit!! He needs pure, straight forwardness, Bae. You remember that visiting hero you nearly set on fire with how much he hung around Robert?? Yea Robert knew what he was doing to but didn't like being strung along like that. You know better!!" She informs before her comm went off.

" Anyway, I gotta get back. I get trying to woo him, but just be blunt, Bae... it'll take you farther."

And that ... is how Chad now finds himself, standing by Robert's desk, his face a little pink, and looking like a nervous teen.

"Hey .. Bob Bob.... you.... you have time to get dinner?" He asks quietly, even shy. Robert turns, looking at little startled, before that smile that makes Chad's heart beat just a little faster.

"Yea ... that sounds good... any place special you wanted?" As he asks, Chad gets just the littlest whiff of Robert's scent. Faint sweetness... like... vanilla?

Maybe ... just asking was always the better option.

[corviiids]

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

[lastoneout]

"This is some Light Yagami bull shit you are about to pull" <- Littany against avoiding small embarrassing/awkward moments that don't matter with over the top ass mind games.

[princessgiggles333]

Bruce Wayne, an omega, just gave birth and is horribly aware of how out of shape he's going to be for the next couple of months. Not in an insecure, self-conscious of how he looks way, but in an I can't protect my city if I'm not in the most optimal shape possible way. Except, they're both equally draining on his mental state (even if he doesn't want to admit to feeling bad about his body for a more... cosmetic reason). So Bruce has two problems: he's not as fit as he was pre-partum, and he feels bad about it.

His solution? Darling baby Dick as his workout buddy.

It's genius. He was already going to put himself through many intense workout sessions, but to counteract the bad feelings that kept nipping at him—despite very adamantly pushing them away—his puppy was the clear answer. Skin-to-skin contact with his baby makes him happy. Seeing his baby makes him happy. Being around his baby makes him happy. Thinking about his body makes him sad. Baby + working out = best outcome.

Cue Bruce reconstructing his regime solely based on bringing four-month-old Dick into it.

A mile jog with Dick in a stroller, after they've had breakfast together (Dick falls back asleep)

30 minutes of meditation with Dick, cuddled up in his lap and clutching at his shirt

A sparring session where Dick watches from the sidelines, giggling and clapping

30 laps in the pool as Dick tries to follow in a Batman floatie wearing little sunnies (with Alfred watching)

Target practice (for as long as Dick naps)

Lunchtime (he woke up from his nap)

15 minutes of coloring (per Dick's insistence)

5 sets of 12 pull-ups with Dick in a carrier on his chest, laughing at the sensation of being bounced

5 sets of 50 pushups with Dick on his back, treating Bruce as his personal rollercoaster, and tugging at his hair

5 sets of 30 weighted sit-ups, where Dick is the weight

And lastly, for Dick's favorite part

Kissing little Dickie on his chubby cheeks and button nose and little fingers (and everywhere else) (ends when Bruce gets all the cuteness aggression out of his system)

Bruce loves his baby. Dick loves his mama. Problem solved. He uses this routine for years until Dick gets too old, that's when he begins training with him.

[dapperdoodlenoodle]

Quite proud of this hand, but figuring out how the folds on leather pants work is killing me.

[go-star-sailor]

Boy Why You So Bouncy

[fladurblegon]

Gay bully be like “give me your brunch money”

[solargeist]

Grian coming out as a trans girl while already in a steady relationship with Scar, so it’s like they get to have all their “firsts” again