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[dadnd]

18:59 minute reading of Of the Body Condemned by @ladyofrosefire and @sparxwrites on AO3, https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043067/chapters/56248735.

By decree of Her Majesty, the Bright Queen Leylas Kryn, Umavi, Empress of the Kryn Dynasty of Xhorhas, Essek, formerly Thelyss, formerly Shadowhand, is to be taken this day to a place of public execution.

A conversation. A conclusion.

Publishing acknowledgments:

Ambient background: musicbrain on Freesound, https://freesound.org/people/musicbrain/sounds/398970/

[dadnd]

Fjord's Confession Transcribed

idfk if this has been done already i couldn’t find it so here we go

Starting @ Minute: 2:39:48  Episode: 02X118  Live 12/3 7PM PDT

Travis narrating as Fjord: I'm going to make my way over to Jester's room and knock on the door.

[some ooc joking that I’m not gonna write cuz I love myself]

Jester: Hello?

Fjord: Um. I was really worried about you, when you fell.

Jester: Yeah.

Fjord: This suddenly feels far more serious than I thought it might be.

Jester: I know! I can't get the image of it out of my head. ...It's scary.

Fjord: What do you think will happen?

Jester: I think if they bring it back, it will, um...it will absorb everything it can. It felt like all of the people that lived there were like, like they were part of the city. Not like they could never escape; it felt like a hell, it  felt like tormet.

Fjord: And we have to stop it, right?

Jester: Yeah.

Fjord: I-I may have a problem. Um...

Jester: What is it?

Fjord: I saw you standing on that pillar and it was the first time where I kept myself from trying to stop something that was happening to you and I-I didn't do anything, and it's bothering me.

Jester: You couldn't do anything Fjord. It was in my head, you know?

Fjord: Yes. I...I don't want you to gamble with yourself. I-I know we were playing, and it didn't seem like much, and it seems to have exacted a pretty serious toll. All I'm saying is that I want you to be careful while we do this. I don't think we're going to be the spectators we thought we might be.

Jester: Okay.

Fjord: I want to come out of this and be able to go back to the sea, and go back to Nicodranas, and go back to where it's warm and not fucking freezing, and...

Jester: Me too.

Fjord: I just don't know if that's--I don't feel as optimistic now.

Jester: Me neither. But, I'll try to be safe, and you should too. But if it comes down to it, if it means stopping that thing--I want to stop that thing.

Fjord: I told your mother I would  look after you.

Jester: I'll be fine, Fjord. We always are.

Fjord: I care very much for you.

Jester: Really? Is it because I have chiseled cheekbones now?

Fjord: It's the longer horns.

Jester: Yeah, that really does it, doesn't, it huh?

Fjord: Yeah. It gives you an intimidating look.

Travis narrating as Fjord: And I pull her in.

Fjord: Can I kiss you?

Jester nods.

Travis narrating as Fjord: I kiss her.

Fjord: I-I don't know how this will go. But I can't promise that I will just let you throw yourself at this thing. I don't think I can do that.

Jester: I don't have an argument, hehe.

Jester: Kissing is a lot more fun when you're not dying.

Fjord: And when you're not underwater drowning.

Jester: Yeah that's--that's what I mean.

Jester: I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Fjord laughs.

Fjord: I've wanted to do it for a while. I'm kind of a big coward.

Jester: No, Fjord, you're very brave.

Fjord: I am very brave, aren't I?

Fjord: I feel a bit...better.

Jester: Me too.

Fjord: Are we sure we have to go fight this thing? We could just leave, we could just stay in this tower.

Jester, overlapping with Fjord since "We could just": We have to go fight this city. We have to go fight this city. We have to fight it, Fjord.

Fjord: We could get cats and just flee.

Jester: We have to fight it.

Fjord: Alright. I'll see you in the morning.

Jester: Okay.

Fjord: Goodnight.

Jester: Goodnight, Fjord.

Laura narrating as Jester: Hehe. I'll just go, I'll just go lay in bed and hold up my little unicorn figurine and fall asleep holding it.

Travis narrating as Fjord: I don't sleep much.

[dadnd]

Of the Body Condemned Chapter 3: Remedy

15:12 minute reading of Of the Body Condemned by ladyofrosefire and sparxwrites on Ao3. By decree of Her Majesty, the Bright Queen Leylas Kryn, Umavi, Empress of the Kryn Dynasty of Xhorhas, Essek,

The healing begins.

Chapter 3 written by @sparxwrites @ladyofrosefire

Listen on these platforms:

Soundcloud

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

Stitcher (coming soon! it slow)

YouTube

Come and join our community Discord server to gush about CR, play video games, and have a good time!

[dadnd]

Of the Body Condemned Chapter 2: Liberation

TW for Graphic Depictions of violence. The Mighty Nein discover Essek's fate. Please mind the tags. 17:45 minute reading (available on other platforms) of Of the Body Condemned by @ladyofrosefire and @sparxwrites on Ao3.

[sparxwrites]

fic summary:

“The strangest day of Jester’s life so far starts with a trip to her local coffee shop, and with a man waiting at the counter telling her that he thinks his girlfriend may be dead.

(Or: the one in which Nott runs the shadiest coffee shop in town, Fjord is having a Bad Day, and Jester’s just along for the ride - though the free coffee and part-time job are bonus.)”

See AO3 for tags, content warnings, and credits.

The strangest day of Jester’s life so far starts with a trip to her favourite coffee shop, and with a man in the queue telling her that he thinks his girlfriend may be dead.

“Ex-girlfriend, actually. Maybe. It’s complicated.” Jester nods, sympathetically, as though she too has had an ex-girlfriend-actually-maybe-it’s-complicated before. “Actually, I’m not sure we were ever dating to begin with, but– look. I just wondered whether it’s normal for someone who usually texts you every day to just… stop? Is that some sort of… girl thing, or, I don’t know…?”

[read more on AO3]

[prokopetz]

The ultimate power move in a vampire/fairy rivalry would be the fairy inviting the vampire over for tea. The vampire has natural dominion over anyone who invites them into their home, the fairy has natural dominion over anyone who violates the laws of hospitality, and neither can refuse the appointment without showing weakness, so it’d just be a constant headgame of the vampire trying to manoueuvre the fairy into a position where the obligations of hospitality allow the vampire to eat them, and the fairy trying to trick the vampire into doing something that would allow the fairy to declare them a poor guest.

[lynati]

You know EVENTUALLY they’re going to get hit with the magical equivalent of being snowed in together, right?

[guardiankarenterrier]

is

is that not the point

[brunhiddensmusings]

next paradox -faeries have power over those who eat fey food -vampires have power over those they feed on even should the vampire successfully bite the faerie theyre still at square one

[krystal-prisms]

Schrodinger’s hospitality rules

[ginger-biscuit]

Oh to be Expositor Beauregard Lionett, trying to drunkenly ping silver pieces off a burlesque dancer while the two women you have a crush on sit upstairs writing you the world’s worst love poem

[daughterofsarenrae]

blessed image

[dadnd]

TW for Graphic Depictions of violence.

By decree of Her Majesty, the Bright Queen Leylas Kryn, Umavi, Empress of the Kryn Dynasty of Xhorhas, Essek, formerly Thelyss, formerly Shadowhand, is to be taken this day to a place of public execution.

(If his friends have any say, he will not stay there.)

17:45 minute reading of Of the Body Condemned by @ladyofrosefire and @sparxwrites on Ao3.

[yankingmyvajane]

It’s definitely true. 

[laurasbailey]

the amount of deep cut parallels in critical role is truly absurd. like, yeah, i’m always thinking about the fact that beau is a part of an order that worships ioun and yasha was a part of a cult that worships tharizdun and ioun and tharizdun were archenemies and yasha (under the influence of the cult) almost killed beau much like tharizdun almost killed ioun and both beau and ioun had large abdominal wounds. like. this shit is improv and dice rolls and it has better continuity and parallels than every scripted thing i’ve ever watched.

[pendragon-fruit]

nary a dry eye in the house.

keyleth & vilya reunion when 🥺🥺

[prismantis]

get you a tiefling gf who can do both ✨

(commissions open!)

[busymatches]

MONSTAAA!!!!

what if gnomes had like lil fangs tho 

[layaart]

It’s Cad’s anniversary today! & day 2 of Caduceus Week. Here’s Yet Another Caduceus Portrait

[romcommunist]

i went to the cooking competition and all of the chefs kept yelling “cast iron pan” but i dont even know how to use that damn spell yet im not a high enough level

[nicodranas]

Quarentine Hiatus Reading List

Fantasy novels to read based on your favorite cr character because no one in my family reads and I have to subject someone to my taste in literature

Beau- The Kingkiller Chronicle, Patrick Rothfuss

ok so admittedly there are less lesbians than I would like in this one (I haven’t read them yet but Priory of the Orange Tree and Gideon the Ninth are on my list) but do you like your hero’s cocky? Do you enjoy the satisfaction of the underdog kicking ass? Do you like to yell about fictional characters who underestimate their value to their friends? Well boy oh boy does tKC have that. It’s fun to read, it has a charming semireliable narrator, and it’s written by the guy who played Kerrek in campaign 1. (Also check out Julia Maddalinas art, those incredible six foot tall oil paintings are the reason I finaly read the series)

Fjord- A Darker Shade of Magic, V. E. Schwab

What’s hotter than suave magic gentlemen? Dimension hopping suave magic gentlemen that’s what. This book follows a cool young ambassador/smuggler with a magic eye and a crossdressing thief who’s only just learned theres magic adventures out there to be had. More YA fare than some on this list but its well written and there’s just a hint of piracy that may grow further along in the series.

Jester- Unnatural Magic, C. M. Waggoner

A gunpowder fantasy novel. It has Romance, it has Female Empowerment, it has Huge Hot Trolls, it has a set of characters that step away from the Cis/Straight default expectation of modern fantasy, and it Fuuuuuuuuuuuuucccckks. (No seriously I kinda assumed this was a ya novel and then I got to the smut and I was like… damn I’m even more into huge grey fantasy folks than I thought)

Caleb- Realm of the Elderlings, Robin Hobb

(ok so I was going to say the Silmarillion as a joke but) RotE has 16 whole books in it and sometimes you need 16 whole books to fill that 16 book shaped hole in your heart. There’s angst, and intrigue, and dragons, and did I mention theres 16 books? The first, third, and fifth series follow a royal bastard who is recruited as royal assassin, and his friend a “not really a human, not really a gender” prophet who is trying to save the world. It’s real good y'all and *minor spoiler* the unrequited love in Tawny Man killed me dead

Nott- The Seven Realms Series, Cinda Williams Chima

Ok ok ok so Maybe this is a YA series and Maybe I read it back in high school and Maybe it’s a little cliche but sometimes that’s just what you need when the world is falling apart. The first book follows Han, a thief with a set of mysterious magic bracelets, and Raisa, the crown princess of the kingdom. Yes there is a love square, yes there are evil wizards, yes the first book is called “The Demon King”, and yes the demon king is hot.

Yasha- A Song of Ice and Fire, George R. R. Martin

ASOIAF is Good ol’ Classic Fantasy, and I know what your gonna say “man that GOT ending sucked”, and I get it, I do, but ASOIAF is not that. Martin’s writting is some of my favorite of all time, and if you enjoy nuance and detail and quiet moments just as important as the big, then you will like ASOIAF. Also Martin’s been hinting at getting a lot of work done in quarantine so maybe… maybe… book 6… soon?

Caduceus- The Slow Regard of Silent Things, Patrick Rothfuss

So yes this is technically a spinoff from tKC but this novella is very different from that. I mean there is literally a disclaimer at the begining of the book to warn prospective readers that this is a different type of story all together. It’s in the title, this is a slow strange story about Auri, a young woman who lives in a labyrinth of tunnels underneath ‘The University’ where much of tKC takes place. A winding bittersweet mystery may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but sometimes slow is nice.

If you find something new here, or read one of these and want to yell about them please yell at me! Without CR on a regular basis to sate my need for fantasy I have in fact read 4 novels in the past month and I may be losing my grip on what an acceptable amount of books is. Join me!

(And if audio books are more your style check out the OverDrive app, it’s free and you can use it with your school or local library)