Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.
Why is this back on my dash in 2018

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
RMH

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sheepfilms

roma★
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occasionally subtle
Keni
𓃗

Andulka
h
Mike Driver
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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macklin celebrini has autism
One Nice Bug Per Day
Claire Keane
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Game of Thrones Daily

tannertan36

seen from France

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@darlingkeepmydreamsasecret
Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits of of mountainsides. They crave that mineral.
Why is this back on my dash in 2018
Oh god, why didn’t you just let him through?
This Untitled Goose Game expansion is WILD
Man at my job just told me to “hold your little horsies just a little longer ☺️” about the task I’ve been waiting for him to complete or at the very least update me on for six weeks. Brendan, I will fuck your adult son. You’re gonna start seeing me at family Christmas. Horsies in tow.
(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you
the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user
@i-like-reblog-maps I heard you like large maps ^_^
what the fuck
that thing is eldritch
acquired a dark mode version just to see what it’d look like. oh my god. this map is gorgeous
i have never seen a hub that large. i’m?? stunned
Didn't realise it was a reblog map at first,thought somebody was drawing the visual effect that accompanies casting Testicular Torsion.
crisp glass of water moodboard
Audio on for exactly the horrible noises you expect
Thinking about this one day when I was in Chicago and it was so foggy that the buildings turned 2D
I mean... you're not wrong
working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent
“Tour Guides”
-2026
Hi pervert! I've ô’btained an item...
tuesday status?
yup. its tuesday 👍
copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol
lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls
OK bisexual (czech)
Hell yeah 🤙
Biczechual
Visiting family for the weekend, including my seven year old niece, who is obviously the most special and incredible child on the planet
Anyway, she really, really loves it when I tell her stories. She loves stories anyway, and at first this manifested as "stories about Tad-Cu Bryn", aka my father (her grandfather) who died before she was born. This has been a lovely way to keep his memory alive, and she adores every story - she has her favourites, which she will request.
Then it became apparent that she specifically loves me telling her stories. She'll happily ask others for them too, but from me she just wants any anecdote at all; which of course is wonderful and demonstrates that she is a child of impeccable taste and wisdom and brilliance, but also she has ADHD and the energy reserves of a seven year old and so this gets Tiring very quickly
Yesterday, in the car on the way back from the wildlife centre, she asked for one of my longer stories, and I was like hey, how about we try something different?
And she was like, no, tell me a story about Tad-Cu Bryn
And I was like, this will be a brand new story and you get to play it and help me tell it
And she was like, explain
So I gave her three characters to choose from. The first was a warrior with a sword she could name, who was nonetheless dyspraxic. The second was a gymnastic elf who could commune with trees but was afraid of heights. The third was a dyslexic witch whose spells sometimes go wrong when she spells the words wrong.
She picked the witch. I pulled up an online d20 on my phone. I went to start, and she insisted my mother had to play as the elf.
So I told them that the new queen of the kingdom had called for them, because their palace treasury had been robbed - specifically, a single enchanted coin that brings luck and wealth to a ruler's reign had been stolen. And tales of enchanted coins were suddenly emanating from across the land, so each one needed investigating until the right coin was found.
It turns out kids who like stories will absolutely lap this shit up. She was enthralled. It was the simplest story - they had to get into a bank, revive some unconscious gnomes, then enter the vault, find the coin that had been deposited into it, then get back to the queen. Enough to fill a half hour car ride, basically, but she managed to fill it with all the wacky hijinks you get from a ttrpg, particularly when she tried to smash a door down with a hammer but rolled a 1.
We finished with the queen saying it wasn't the right coin, and then my niece demanded we go again, this time with her playing as a sapient reticulated python. That time we made it all the way to the final boss fight, which was a sorcerer who created a big coin monster out of loads of coins; I asked my niece what she wanted to do, and she described graphically how she wanted to constrict and eat the sorcerer and immediately rolled a 19. So, sure! Okay. The sorcerer is now very dead. The coin monster, though, was still there, and as my niece tried to say she would do the same thing, I was like, no, you're a snake and you just ate. You're now immobile.
At this point, my sister advised her to regurgitate the sorcerer.
Great! said my niece. I'm going to do it at the coin monster.
And rolled a 20.
So she projectile vomited a dead sorcerer into the coin monster, and won the day.
Anyway, today she immediately demanded we play "the game with the story where we choose", and my brother in law is now asking me how he can do this with her ("Are you making it all up as you go along??"). But yeah, turns out, this is a fantastic way to entertain a seven year old. Vague ongoing quest, then three steps: get into (place), resolve (minor puzzle), boss fight to finish. Boom. Easy.
So far I've done a bank, a tavern, and an art gallery (it featured an exhibit that was just a room full of slippery banana skins). I'm going to do a pirate ship next
A few people have asked so. The best bits:
The aforementioned snake regurgitation bit. What I didn't mention was that at first, when I said she now needed to lie down and digest, her attempt to resolve it was "Nana, you need to find me a heat lamp" and I had to be like, "Nana has bigger problems right now because she is fighting the coin monster, and also you're both trapped down here." Why were they both trapped? Because rather than finding the stairs down to the basement, they chose to hack a hole in the floor and drop through
When they found their first enchanted coin, Niece picked it up with her bare hand. This made her hand swell up to five times the size and turn blue with orange polka dots. Her response? To immediately pick up the coin with the other hand so they could match
Niece decided very suddenly and randomly that slipping on banana skins was funny, and periodically she would competently enter a new room and she'd interrupt me to say "And then I stand on a banana skin!" This is why I made the banana skin modern art installation. Purely for her to enjoy getting through the room
At one point as the witch they decided to jointly fly on the broom to a new location. "You don't need to roll for that," I said, but Niece was enjoying rolling by then, and so did anyway, and somehow rolled a 20. It was the world's greatest broom ride. They had in-flight entertainment, free snacks each, they napped, and they landed 20 seconds before they took off
The morning I left, she saw me and asked if we could play "Dungeons and Dragons", so her father has definitely been discussing playing with her because I never used that name. Delighted to have offered this new past time into their lives, and next time I'll try and write a little detective campaign, I think
Today my co-worker had to bring his nine-year-old daughter to work, and she did great for Many Hours, but at 2pm she definitely was flagging and bored. She started wandering the office and playing with the standing desks and throwing a ball around, as nine-year-olds do, and I thought. Hang on. Hang the fuck on. I have the cheat code now. I can fix this.
She picked the elf, and assigned the witch to her father. Our other co-worker Ian became the clumsy ninja. I sent them to the tavern.
Things I have learned:
No one who isn't already a player of ttrpgs is very good at remembering the quest; they tend to only think as far as the immediate puzzle (get the door open) and not as far as the overall goal (find the coin)
No one who isn't already a player of ttrpgs is very good at asking the NPCs for useful information
Young girls really love the opportunity to beat the shit out of monsters
Kids love a bit of slapstick detail added in
People who are not already players of ttrpgs are astounded when they suddenly realise you're making it all up for them as you go along
Parents of bored young kids are so insanely grateful to you for spontaneously GMing their kids they will offer you many favours vis a vis getting your marking done like 10 out of 10 strategy
I fell in love with this sentence and it circles my brain so it’s turning into pottery
PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!
Hi, I just wanted to share this photo I took. I think in fact, the most Photograph I have ever taken. No, this is not AI, this is a real photo, and whenever I look at it I feel like Tom Haverford staring at that abstract painting in Parks and Rec. Also I took it out the window of a car going 100kph, so, uh, yeah.