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dirt enthusiast
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Monterey Bay Aquarium
shark vs the universe
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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RMH
Kiana Khansmith
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
d e v o n
Peter Solarz
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
pixel skylines
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies
Today's Document
@theartofmadeline
One Nice Bug Per Day
AnasAbdin
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@delayedemo-phase
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You! Have been visited by the gnome of executive function! Reblog to send them along to make sure they visit the next person in need!
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Have you had COVID?
No/not to my knowledge
Yes, once
Yes, more than once
Hugely curious about the stats of this. I'm testing a theory. Elaborate in the tags if you please.
Please reblog!
So this original poll was posted almost two years ago. I'm interested to see how it changes.
It's been almost 5 years.
Have you had COVID?
No/not to my knowledge
Yes, once
Yes, more than once
Please reblog!
Not "I can fix him (romantic)" or even "I can fix him (platonic)" but "I can fix him (with an air of soul-deep weariness, taking on a great burden)"
âIt IS rotten work. ESPECIALLY to me. ESPECIALLY if itâs you. Iâll fucking do it but Christ ALIVE.â
"Kamala Harris raised 50+ million dollars after Biden dropped out!" you fools.... that's the money she got from selling Biden to One Direction :(
DELETE THIS POST
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
*clicks play in morbid curiosity*
*hammers reblog button*
I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do
Unmute !
this is the best response image ever
rare vent art from a few months ago
I feel this!!! Also love how you muted the color along the way, I think it makes it that much more impactful!
This is the thing!
this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies
We need to reblog this so much that the post breaks
Do not like
Keep. Reblogging.
If we reblog enough we could save it
Reblogged at 1.7 M notes
reblogged at 1.8M notes
how did this lose over 5k notes
Iâm glad we cost Yahoo 2 billion dollars.
itâs like a perfectly preserved body at Pompei
Trump indicted for Jan 6th
This is the first thing I saw coming out of anesthesia. What a Good Day.
[id: the Scrooge meme edited so that thebibliosphere is scrooge and cryptotheism is the little bunny outside his window. thebibliosphere says, âYou there, boy! What day is it?â And cryptotheism replies âWhy, itâs Trump indicted for January 6th Day, sir!â the bibliosphere exclaims, âThen I havenât missed it!â end id]
It could be the fentanyl but this is the fucking funniest thing Iâve ever seen.
Sorry I wasn't listening to you, I was thinking about the Duke of Wellington's personal 11-foot-tall statue of nude, totally jacked Napoleon.
Twitter thread! (and yes Kate Beaton's "Nemesis" comic comes up)
Oh my goooodddd, im crying at Napoleon basically hiding it in embarrassment only for it to be put on display in the main room of his enemy
Napoleon: ... nice statue imma just *throws it into the basement*
Duke of Wellington breaking into Napoleon's house: OH BOY LOOK AT WHAT I FOUNDâ
What I wanna know is why Wellington put that statue there. Like was it some kind of power play to show off how he vanquished Napoleon, or did he just think it was a really nice statue?
Every time someone brings this up, I have to be the one to tell them that the statue was a gift to Wellington from the Prince Regent, and it wasn't looted. The British government paid around ÂŁ3000 for a giant naked statue of Napoleon. Wellington had to put it somewhere people would be able to see it, or he'd offend the Prince. Love that for him.
shoulda been a blackadder episode about this shit
Hey, could you do me a favor?
Could you just RB this?
The little RB statistics chart is so pleasant and stimmy to look at and I want to see what it looks like when it gets really REALLY huge because it makes me think of some deep sea lifeform
My cartoon for todayâs Guardian Books
Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.
[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]
shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DONâT KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS âJUST THE WAY IT ISâ. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.
How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and sheâs like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears
The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out âlet me onâ in unison and then since Iâm driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said âdo you play fortniteâ and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted âTHIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITEâ and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite
A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.
The hero we deserve
When I was on register at Kohlâs a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too
i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said âyour ring is very prettyâ and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said âdoes that mean youâre marrying two people?!â
I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom âthat lady has superpowers, donât tell anyone or the government will take her awayâ.
The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.
god I love tiny kids
there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming âCHEMICALSâ at the top of his lungs. he wouldnât even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.
I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said âdoes your insurance cover that?â
I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said âvodkaâ and me and the parents just fucking lost it
kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, âMAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.â
I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go âI love your picture, thatâs a great drawing Missâ. So blindly supportive.
One time my younger brother ordered a ânon-alcoholic fantaâ at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man
When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, âI used to be that free.â
oh my god little kids in the library are the BEST one time i was looking for a book and a little girl tried to help me cause we always help HER find the books she wants. sometimes when iâm helping them check out theyâll tell me about the books theyâre getting. i know so much about dog man.
oh man! another hilarious thing kids in the library do! they will straight up TELL ON THEIR PARENTS!
mom: the book was like that when we checked it out
child, innocently confused: i thought (little brother) did that though?
dad: yes thatâs our correct address and phone number
child, barely paying attention: we MOOOOVED!! :D
parent: we never checked that book out
child, trying to be helpful: yes we did, thatâs the one we lost at grandmaâs house, remember?
me, fighting laughter and trying to decide whether or not the enter the childâs testimony as official evidence or not
I know Iâve told this story on Tumblr before, but one of my favorite retail experiences was when I was stocking shelves once and dropped a couple of small plastic toys, and a little girl ZOOMED up, grabbed them, held them up to me, and when I thanked her, said âIâm closer to the floor, so itâs TEAMWORK! :Dâ and zoomed off back to her mom
I was telling a kindergarten class (4/5 year olds) that weâre hosting a book fair next week and they would need to ask their parents for money. One girl very excitedly told me she has âone moneyâ in her piggy bank. Her classmate, vibrating with excitement, said, âI have TOO MUCH money! I have ten dollars!â
When I worked retail there were so many times that the kids just wanted to be INVOLVEDâ if their parents were chill sometimes Iâd show the kids the security tag remover and they LOVED that shit. Other times theyâd just help me bag stuff up. There was also one kid who was CONVINCED that our steamer was a vacuum (it does look like one) and he was ENAMORED because he loved vacuuming.
I spent one summer writing in a local library (long story) and it was great to people-watch.
I was sitting near the family bathrooms. One of the doors caromed open and a kid maybe three years old leapt out.
He was not wearing pants.
He looked left and right, got ready to dash for the kidsâ books.
An arm clapped down on his shoulder and yanked him back inside with a squeak. The door slammed shut.
The movement and timing was JUST as comedic and cartoonish as youâre picturing. Kids are awesome.
My friends toddler was singing about the window he accidentally broke the other day. No discernible words other than BROKEN WINDOOOOOOOWâŚâŚ..I love that goblin baby
I know itâs not the same thing but Hardison and I are gonna be here for you forever.
