Yess, let's not forget that Bruce is considered the most elegible bachelor in Gotham, the billionaire playboy. The fact he had kids didn't erase the sentiment but only made the Gothamites hide it better as their precious little Prince was trying to get away from that image, and they would do anything for him, but now that he is embracing it again? It's anarchy.
I wrote something to continue with the idea so I will leave it here 🏃♀️
Bruce takes a sip of his coffee, uncaring of the scalding liquid, flipping quickly through his morning newspaper before having to attend the absurd amount of meetings he has planned for the day at WE.
The voice carries itself around the manor until reaching Bruce, who just takes another sip, not even lifting his gaze from the paper.
"Good morning you too Dick" He says casually to himself, barely flinching when the door of the kitchen slams aggressively against the wall, leaving a dent that will surely make Alfred tsk in distaste later.
Too much for a calm morning.
"How dare you?!" Dick is standing at the other end of the table, both hands resting over the surface and face contorted into an affronted expression, his right hand gripping something that looks extremely alike to the newest number of Gotham Gazette.
"How dare you?!" Dick repeats.
"How dare I what?" Bruce finally closes the newspaper, taking a last gulp of his coffee (and if he does it to hide a shit-eating grin from his eldest nobody has to know it), and standing up to start his day as Bruce Wayne, CEO of WE and tired proud father of seven.
Bruce hums pensively, "care to refresh it for me?"
He can feel Dick's rapid steps following behind him towards the garage, "you can't just appear naked at every billboard in Gotham!"
Bruce takes calmly the keys of the black Porsche, saying in an even more calm voice, "not only Gotham, Metropolis and Bludhaven also".
"Tha- that doesn't make it better!"
Dick looks feral, still wearing his police uniform and electric blue eyes wide with anger.
"Jake from the station had to give me THESE for me to even know you had taken a photoshoot with Calvin Klein!" He shakes the magazine in the air, as if it had personally insulted him.
Bruce let's out a short breath, the closest thing to a laugh he would ever give, "but I'm not naked Dick" he points out.
Dick can only splutter, "bu- but... Dad!" He opens the magazine in his hand, a high resolution picture of Bruce's chesy and criminally low Calvin Klein boxers occupying the majority of the page, the barest hint of a pointy smile at the edge of the image.
(Naked if you asked his kids, who had only ever seen him in fitted shirts and high turtlenecks; and overdressed, if you asked 21-years-old Brucie Wayne, who had one time strip teased in front of Gotham's mayor.)
And Bruce obviously recognizes the photo, is the one splashed at one side of WE main building, hung barely one day after the photoshoot and funnily the least scandalous one.
"Don't you like it? I thought it had come out pretty good, Michael was delighted with the results", Michael had been more than delighted, almost fainting with some of the more... spicy ones.
The sound of a motorbike engulfs Dick's next words, and soon the thunderous voice of his second eldest and the child-like one of his youngest reach the duo.
"Old man! What is the meaning of this?!" Bruce smiles at the sight of them both.
"Jason! Damian! Alfred has made some cookies so feel free to take them, they're your favorite Jaylad, double chocolate chips" he knows he is ignoring the elephant in the room.
Dick is glaring viciously to the back of his head, Jason is gritting his teeth, and Damian has clung to the side of his leg with one hand, snarling at the sight of the Gotham Gazette in Dick's hands.
"Be gone Grayson with that foolishness" a hand over his shoulder stops him from unleashing the Katana on his back, "no mortal eyes are worthy of Baba's beauty", a shine of possessiveness creeps into his eyes, tainting his emerald eyes Lazarus green.
So similar to Jason's current ones.
"What were you even thinking B?"
"Don't you know the amount of creeps out there and how dangerous they could be?"
"How would you think that this was a good idea?!"
Bruce sighs fondly at Jason. He knows that the words come from a place of care, of concern for him.
But Bruce has been spending the last weeks of his life hearing about his lacks and "oldness", how Gotham is finally tired of their Prince, and as much as he has fought against it it has all felt like a punch to a pride he didn't even know he still conserved.
A pride he had killed when he had kneeled in a puddle of blood at the age of 8.
A pride that rebirthed in the form of Brucie Wayne, Gotham's beloved playboy and philanthropist billionaire.
And a pride he had caged when he had adopted a small bundle of joy and hope called Dick Grayson.
So he just hums and slides a hand through Damian's hair, soothing his youngest worries and cute pout, before throwing the most exasperated glare he can to his two oldest kids, letting that blossoming pride mix with something more akeen to him. To Bruce Wayne.
"If you go low I can go even lower"
He quickly grabs a confused Damian and slides into the car, turning it on and putting his kid in the back seat, safe and secure, and driving out of the garage, ignoring the shouts of indignation that follow them.
"Where are we going Father?" Damian is curious about the road they're taking, not one that leads to WE.
"I think habibi, that you and me deserve an ice cream"
It's only fair to reward the only kid that didn't call him "grandpa".