32. ENTJ 1w9. Amateur Photographer. Artist. Chill Canuck/Newfie. Coffee Addict. Egalitarian. Local Swamp Creature. Hiking/Nature Enthusiast. Hipster. Weightlifter. Writer. May or May Not Be 3 Beavers in a Trench Coat. Art Blog: Pocket Raptor Draws
Now that we're in 2026, looking back over the course of last year not all of it was bad. Consider this my sister post to my New Years Eve spiel, this is the good of 2025, just what I didn't focus on while I wrote up the other more personal inner thoughts showcasing just my own melancholy if you will.
I also made the mistake in thinking that we're half way through the decade when we're already a year deep into the latter half, but that doesn't change how I want to change for the better and the plans I have to make 2026 a decent year. Half the battle is your own mindset either way. It's definitely hard to ignore the negative but that's why I have to remind myself that there was a silver lining even if I didn't see it at the time.
2025 was a bizarre year, and sure I might not have done everything I wanted to but there was some good times to be had. I made a new friend over the course of last year, which is almost unheard of at my age of 32. It's tough making friends as an adult, but what's even more wild is having found friends that are really there for you even if you have a hiccup or don't see them for a long time. I really appreciate the folks I have in my life and my partner who is also my closest and best friend. I might've gained distance with my family but the people I keep in my circle otherwise got a little closer, and that's one of the best feelings out there. It's almost so sugary sweet it makes me want to bawl like a babe.
My writing really took off, I decided after much contemplation that I'm doing a rewrite of the main story of DIVE. The prequel arc was so good that I felt the rest just didn't fit, so I had to fix that, bring the quality up a notch for the rest. I managed to get half way through the first arc, even got most of the chapter summaries ironed out too so it wasn't like I was idle.
Speaking of my creative hobbies, I did get a good handful of character designs revamped too. That was one of the main things I really wanted to crack into even if I didn't get around to drawing jack shit for the holidays (which I might finish them anyways for craps and yes I will draw a little something for new years even if it's late, who cares). I didn't do a lot of drawing overall but I find I'm still improving, I like that I don't have to draw every single day to get better. It's cool having something you're really talented at especially something you can use to unwind with at the end of the day.
One thing that I didn't mention but I started during the latter half of 2025 was my own 'project pan', meaning I'll be using up whatever skincare or makeup I have instead of buying more than I need. I got tired of hoarding a lot of stuff that will inevitably expire at some point. I had a friend that said it a while ago, why save that thing you love for a special occasion when today could be that day? She's not wrong, so I decided I was going to start dipping into even some of my favourite scents that I've been babying for a while.
I told myself since one of my goals is finish paying of what small debt I have and begin to really save and put away money, that I would cut down on my spending in general. Do a low or no buy for most of what I have and only replace what I have when I'm fully out. That way I can use up what I've already got, maybe try something new at some point but clear up some clutter too. There's definitely things I've forgotten about entirely that I've rediscovered in my house, it's incredible what I have on hand. I think I've got enough conditioner to last me another whole year or two.
It feels good to already started the process of curbing my bad habits. Nobody talks about how addicting just spending money you don't have can be but I think last year was the first year since I entered adulthood where I really felt like I could fight back against my own impulses. Having to play the game of tug o war with myself and now I can finally let go of the rope without having to worry about the other half of me falling onto her ass. I stuck to my game plan somewhat with some room for improvement but it's a start, that's the main thing that matters is I haven't given up on myself.
Probably one of the most enjoyable thing of the past year was just getting out and doing more hiking. I did a lot of hiking over 2025, even some fun solo hikes on some of my favourite trails. I think I did sugarloaf path and biscan twice alone in their entireties. Some of the vistas we have here on the island are magical in and of themselves, my pictures really don't do it justice. I don't think I could say what was my favourite hike of the year, each and every trail always has something lovely to see. I highly recommend people get out and explore them for themselves because my pictures don't do them justice.
I guess the other big thing that happened was getting a full time position at my workplace. I don't mention my day job very often but it's nice to have a set schedule and hours, I don't have to plan around what's been handed to me - I know what to expect. Helps me map out the day, which is something I'm a big fan of.
Other than that I got play some good games over 2025, Expedition 33 being the cream of the crop. Caught up on a couple of shows I had been meaning to get back to. Started to chip away at my reading backlog of books that I had kicking around my house too.
So out of everything that transcended across last year, I think I'll be having a good time either way. The foundation is there, I just gotta make it happen.
Cheers.
Happy New Year.
PS: I have lots of photos from last years hikes to go up and a couple of reviews so keep your eyes peeled for those!
2025 is almost done, that means that we're half way through the 2020s. It's wild to think that we've flown through half a decade. A lot has happened, several events that I would argue are once-in-a-lifetime events. Thinking back on how I've changed within the past 5 years has really put into perspective a lot. I know I'm not the same starry eyed woman I was at the beginning of 2020, I've grown up but not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. A lot has shifted and some not for the better.
I lost my sense of stability during 2020 and 2021, my mental health was in a free fall. I hit my worst depressive low in 2022, so much so that there was an entire week that February that me and my partner dubbed my 'big sad week'. I lost my father to cancer in 2023 and left my lifting group after 4 and a half years. Moved towns in 2024 and had one of my best friends move to the other side of the country.
That just leaves us with this year - 2025. What happened? I feel like everything and nothing at the same time. I've come to the realization that my distance from my own family isn't by accident nor do I hold alliance due to blood relations. The more time passes the more I realize that my past self might not have been entirely wrong to think the way she did, past Vivian had her reasons and so does present Vivian.
Seeing people progress, but also regress is disheartening but I'm not in charge of others and their actions nor their thoughts. I don't care to police or censor anyone. I was told growing up to 'broaden my horizons' but it's bizarre having those same people that said that to me close their boarders and shut out other perspectives unable to admit they're wrong. Such is the hubris of humanity. You work on one part of the picture, sometimes you end up forgetting about the rest and what you had worked on before.
I think one of the jarring thoughts I've had for a while is understanding the different points of view from the people that are no longer here, that have no voice now that I'm in the same dilemma. The other eye opener is realizing what I tolerated for so long from people that I thought cared and loved me - people that I once looked up to for guidance are no more than flawed broken people that used and abused what control or power they had. Seeing my own childhood from my adult perspective has been more saddening than anything else to say the least. My disappointment has been immeasurable. I almost want to scream into the skies and cry but I know that won't solve what's already happened.
Having to shut out people and keep to myself knowing full well that I cannot trust someone is the worst, although not surprising. I've grown distant and I know I have, but it's something I have to do because there's a fine line between giving benefit of the doubt and sabotaging yourself entirely for the other party. I told myself a while ago that I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. I wasn't going to be fooled and raked over the coals to uphold some sort of preemptive notion that I'll keep myself in a perfect little box out of peer pressure or some other societal nonsense. I'm to the point where I don't care who doesn't like me, I will unapologetically be myself and go by the beat of my own drum. I take zero qualms about voicing and advocating for myself even if it's taken as rude. I cannot and will not expect the world to look out for me and my best interests so that leaves me with having to do it myself.
This year was also the year I decided I was going to kick my bad habits and get myself back on the path of bettering myself and not just talking about it. I kept saying I was going to do this or that but I never did. Breaking down what I needed to do in bite sized chunks while allowing myself some leeway was what I figured was the best way for me to do what I could. So far so good. I didn't want to follow suit with the people I've been critical of, I wanted to be better than them and keep that promise to myself as a form of self care that I'd go above and beyond for me. It would be a shame to waste what precious time I have, squandering opportunities or throwing away what's good. There's no need for me to throw out the baby with the bathwater so to speak.
After my father passed it was pretty apparent that things were going to change, that my family shifted - the mask continued to slip until I came to the realization that both me and my partner have the same type of relationship with some our blood relatives. We're both the odd man out whether we want to be or not. I've come to terms that by being candidly me, I will rock the boat, I will derail the train because so many can't fathom being their authentic selves without fear of scrutiny. My relatives are no different, they're inherently flawed and frankly very human to the point that they do and say the same shit that others do that they judge and are critical of. It's all of this small minute bullshit that they get caught in, they forget the bigger picture or some of life's simplest lessons - it's okay not to be perfect, it's okay to make mistakes. It's just hard to watch the people you care for go in circles wondering if they'll ever see what you do and break out of that vicious cycle. There's some parts I've lost complete connection with, some people I don't care to longer talk to. I know I'm not a priority to them, I know that if I wasn't related then I wouldn't even be a fleeting thought. There's so much nonsense that people try and uphold just because it's a cultural nicety. Life would be easier if people were honest with one another, themselves and frankly would just communicate what they actually think. It's tiring doing the same song and dance.
I'm tired of having to always initiate conversations and events, being a human stick of glue is frustrating at best. It's kind of why I gave up doing so unless it's those I'm super close to, because I don't have the energy to get the whole fucking world together. I'm one person, I just want some peace and quiet and if that means I'm alone, okay, fine.
Sometimes it's better to be alone than in bad company.
I won't walk on egg shells and silence myself to keep someone happy. I won't toss away my comfort and happiness for someone else either. This is something people have to understand that you're not obligated to sacrifice yourself and your mental wellbeing for another person. Too long I did that, it's more than exhausting. Bad behaviour shouldn't be tolerated because that was the norm for you at some other point. Call out what needs to be called out. Don't shy away from doing what's right for yourself because it's hard.
I shut out what I felt for what seemed like forever but everything I felt, I felt for a reason. It wasn't always clear at the time why I felt what I did, but our emotions guard us - they spark when the need to. I've learned to trust my gut feeling even against people that tell me I have nothing to fear, but that deep primal sense that keeps me alert fires off on purpose - it's not a fluke.
Growing up I didn't have any emotional regulation, I didn't have an outlet for the chaos that was my home. It felt like it was every man for themselves in there and I dealt with it by shutting down because I knew I wasn't going to be heard. This hasn't changed, teenage me and present me rely on different people than the folks that were supposed to give me a foundation and guide me along for my emotional needs. I think that's one of the biggest things that hurts about becoming an adult is that some of your childhood fears were true. Being left behind and fend for yourself was one I had, to the point I was obsessive over others and clingy for a while. Not my finest moment but I understand why now.
Writing all of this almost feels taboo, like I'm spitting back in the face of god himself to spite the people that raised me. To spite everyone else that left once I was an adult and lost interest in me since I was no longer that cute kid you could take to the park and push on the swings or to have them pose for your family photos. It's like people realized that I'm a fucking weirdo and I'm not like them, gee, real surprise there. I don't have kids myself either so I don't have people up my ass to come over and hound me to see them (I'm mid key glad I don't because I don't know if I could handle folks showing up when they honestly didn't give a shit about me).
Adulthood is cold, reality is stripping away all of the layers of crap and showcasing finely that the people you thought you knew we're worse than you gave them credit for. It's the introspection that really highlights the kind of abuse you went through without even putting two and two together until after the fact.
It took me a while to get here, my twenties as a general rule of thumb felt like screaming into the void if I could describe it as anything. You're a kid, unprepared, thrusted into doing everything an adult should without as much as a guide to go by. Nobody tells you, but we're all just coasting, winging it by whatever means possible and the bulk of us are stuck in our own little bubbles on autopilot. A lot of people from what I can tell don't keep in mind the big picture, that life is more than just you and your circle of peeps. Everything has a domino effect because it's all connected in some way or fashion. Too many people forget about the big picture and wound up too self absorbed, I may not say it but I like to think about how my actions affect others in the long run. Not because I'm looking for brownie points but more because I understand that each and every person has their battles to face, if I don't have to add to them, then I won't. Life is hard enough without actively being a dick.
I've certainly humbled over the past handful of years. Not always because I wanted to but because I needed to or lest I go insane. I don't have to be like the folks I frown upon, I don't have to be miserable if I don't want to. That's one of the best things about life, it's what you make of it. People forget it's all about perspective, you can easily miss the forest for the trees and vice versa. Life is bigger than just a single person and it would be unreasonable for me or others to think otherwise.
2025 has been almost an eye opening year for me, a kind of revelation on what I need to accomplish what a truly want. There's sacrifices I'll have to make, but in the end it'll be worth it. I'm sure my future self will thank me for it but that means I'll had a bit of an uphill struggle to attend to in the meantime. Nothing comes without a price, I'm just now accepting and willing to pay the price for what I want even if it means I have to play the waiting game.
If there's any takeaway from what I've learned from the past year or really the last five is that I can shine and take my energy where I want. I am not bound by other people and their thoughts; you cannot stop an unstoppable force. I've thrown out all of my expectations for what happens outside myself, living by the motto "be kind, but take no shit" has been one of the biggest gifts I could've given myself. I don't care to make someone else's life hell but that doesn't mean I'll let them do it to me, self preservation is something that is able to be accomplished without self sacrifice.
That's what the past half decade has been, finding the strength to know what battle you need to fight and what ones you don't. Finding that balance has been a chore, some things aren't worth the time nor the heartache, but others have to be done even if you don't want to rock the boat. I'm tired, I'm fed up, I'm also fucking done with a lot of people having this romanticized version of me in their head and try to have me adhere to some standard that they've concocted.
I'm human, I'm flawed and I'm going to do shit people aren't going to like. That's life.
2025 was a rough year for me, another moment of time where my emotions did more talking than what I wanted them to. Breaking through what I thought was a solid firewall but I can't bar off what I feel, the isolation - the bitter knowledge that I truly am by myself is harsh yet comforting at the same time. It's hard to explain but I've found myself saying less and sharing less than other years, I've come to pick and choose my battles. To truly not give a single fuck is one of the most freeing things a person can do. Yes, you'll anger people, but let them be mad. Stay hydrated and let people wallow in their envy.
After everything I know where I'm going and where I am, I have the blueprints in my hands on how to get there. It's going to be a lot of hard work and keeping myself in check but I made the promise that I'd use the potential that I have. It would be a shame to let it go to waste for just the immediate pleasure that I might find in the moment in turn for something greater. After seeing people die broken and sad - former shells of themselves from the grandeur and glitter that I once say them in, I didn't want that to be me. It's why I think I'll be buckling down in 2026.
I'm done drifting and just going with the flow. I'm ready to carve a path now that I've got the mental fortitude to do so.
No one is going to stop me from reaching my goals. No one is going to derail me. I'm going to let my colours shimmer and fly bright in spite of those that dared to doubt me or impede on my progress, to the people that wanted to take me down a peg. Fuck that, I'm tired of of all of the people telling me I can't do 'x' - that it's impossible. I want to defy the odds. I want to show up for myself and prove that you really can do what you set your mind to. I don't care if it's rude at this point, I will go against the grain even if that makes a villain out of me.
I don't know how long I'll be here for, so I might as well savour the days that I do have. Each day I wake up is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
I have my shine back, I'm stronger than ever.
I'll reaching my lifting goals, make a better daily routine, I'll save up the money I wanted to, hell, I'll even bite my bad overspending habits in the bud. Nothing is impossible and I refuse to accept that things cannot improve. Even if I have to revamp some of what I've gotten comfortable with, if it means a better quality of life then it's worth it.
The past year might've put a damper on my happiness but I'm far from defeated. I promise to myself that next year and going forward from there will be better even with the hard times that I will face.
I'll be able to weather whatever storm life throws at me.
Winter may not be everyone’s favourite season but I’ve learned to love it. The cold is refreshing, sometimes I long for a crisp morning and a nice hot cup of coffee. The snow might suck to shovel but the way it glitters never fails to amaze me.
Enjoy the season for what it has rather than what it doesn’t. I’m personally looking forward to the winter sunsets, they’re something else! Along with snowshoeing and some hiking too.
On my journey into the wonderful world of fragrance as a form of self expression, one of the indie perfume houses that I ended up sampling and love was Paraphrase (formerly known as Libertine). For folks who haven't had the chance to take the plunge, they're a small time canadian brand based out of Edmonton. I will preface this by saying that scent is subjective and everyone's nose is different on what they pick up on. To me, Paraphrase has a very rustic, earthy feel to their scents - almost like the essential oils that they hail from (similar to Lush but a much more vintage feel imho), if that's not your jam, then you're more than likely not going to enjoy this perfume house.
I took a leap of faith after contemplating buying a sample pack for almost a year. I've tried all the current ones in their lineup, what I bought and enjoy is in the first picture above. I think Grasslands is my favourite - it pairs really well with a lot of other scents, my favourite being Lush's Karma. They're definitely very nostalgic and transport me to a different time and place.
Here's their website for those who want to take a look themselves, I'm not sponsored I promise, I just enjoy sharing my take on what I love. I really enjoy reading people's reviews, I also really enjoy making them myself.
I personally love their take on certain scent profiles, so as promised I'll be reviewing Paraphrase perfume's scents. If you want to read them all they're below the cut, so enjoy!
All of Paraphrase's scents come in either 2ml sample size, 15ml travel size, or full bottles of either 50ml or 100ml. They're all currently available as of writing this (December 2025) but Lucky Days is being discontinued and won't be restocked once their supplies runs out for anyone who's curious.
I also find most of the scents don't have crazy silage. They're not going to fill out a room, but if someone is standing next to you they'll be able to smell what you're wearing. I personally don't like anything overpowering or 'beast mode', I want to be able to enjoy my fragrances without getting a massive migraine because it's just too much. Plus I wear something every day, as someone who actually has sensitivities to scents, these do the trick without setting off my allergies.
Burrow:
The biggest thing I pick up is the vetiver from Burrow, it's a masculine leaning scent that literally takes me deep into winter, right to the forest floor with a smoldering fire and a dash of spice in the background. The turmeric, caraway, and cedar are the biggest things that shine along with the earthy take. It's a very warm scent, almost like a rustic blanket wrapping you while you take your evening/night walk through the crisp forest in the frigid weather. It holds a dry, yet subtly sweet note thanks to the tonka bean, which I think is perfectly balance and doesn't overshadow the rest letting the smoky/spiced side of Burrow really shine.
The biggest gripe I have with Burrow is it's the worst out of the bunch for longevity, for me it only lasts 3ish hours. I want to love the scent so bad but I never committed to more than a sample size because my skin just eats it up. Other than that it's gorgeous, definitely a very rustic take on notes that a lot of colognes hold that tend to be sickening.
5/10. Gorgeous winter forest floor scent; doesn't last sadly.
Eros Fig:
This is not just the fig fruit but the whole tree, leaves and all with a creamy undertone from the coconut. Definitely not a gourmand scent, although still sweet with a hint of tartness that mellows on skin contact. The sandalwood is very present as the base of this fragrance, however it does keep that leafy green note along with the creaminess on top. If there's anything about it, there's nothing that's artificial smelling, if you're looking for a stereotypical scent, this is not it. Rather refreshing of a take on fig, the honey is barely there but enough to lend a hand with the small amount of warm spice.
Very reminiscent of summer, this is definitely a warm weather scent for me and is something I'd wear when I want to be transported back to breezy summer afternoons where the sun warms your skin with a lingering humidity. Fresh, leafy, and just the right amount of sweet, Eros Fig is a favourite of mine from Paraphrase. Reminds me of floral rompers and the end of spring as well.
Projection wise, Eros Fig sticks around all day (10-12 hours). You don't have to worry about it wearing off even in the midsummer heat.
9/10. Nostalgic summer fruits at their finest.
Fin De Siecle:
This is not for the faint of heart, Fin De Sicle (which translates to turn of the century) is a bold, vintage rose fragrance. Reminds me of something that Queen Victoria would wear, sitting in plain sight on her vanity. It's one of the few black currant scents that I personally enjoy, although I wouldn't call it fruity by any means - it's well balanced by the civet, oakmoss, and patchouli as the base adding in an earthy/animalic note to the slightly powdery rose. There is a touch of citrus on the top that fades after the first handful of minutes but this is definitely not like any other rose forward fragrance I've smelled.
Perfect year round, Fin De Siecle is a heavy fragrance although not cloying and paunchy. It knows it's place and does it with pride. For projection wise, it stays for at least 8-10 hours. Perfect imho, one of the few 'mature' scents I personally can't get enough of.
9/10. Bold, rich rose; a fresh take on a staple floral.
Fruit Thieves:
Probably the 'safest' out of the bunch, Fruit Thieves is bright, tart, but absolutely smells like passion fruit with a hint of green leafy goodness. It's got a touch of jasmine to add just a slight warmth, very summery in my mind. It's fairly linear I find as a scent and doesn't change much on skin for me, but it's gorgeous. Holds the same rustic, raw feel as the other fragrances as the brand but I think it adds to the perfume to bring it to life, almost like picking the fruit from the tree itself.
Definitely another warm weather fragrance, late spring/early summer for sure. Longevity wise it wears for about 7-8 hours even in the heat (I tried the fragrance mid August during a heat wave) and could even smell it on my clothes the next day. Fruit Thieves is like a ripe fruit in the sunlight, brings me back instantly to the height of June or July.
8/10. Bright, sour fruit right off the tree.
Gilded:
I'm going to say that Gilded is one fragrance I wish worked with my skin chemistry, but sadly doesn't. The Cardamom turns sour for me but for whoever this scent does work for is in for a treat. It's a brown sugar with warm spices of cardamom, cinnamon, and ginger over a bed of dry woodsy musk thank to the opoponax and the frankincense. There's a slight lick of orange blossom that lends to the blend of spice but doesn't turn it into a choking harsh bomb from said spiciness. It's sugary without being sickly sweet, not at all like the gourmands that are popular these days - this isn't at all like dessert or snacks in general. Very unisex, very pretty with a tinge of sparkle from the syrupy note - almost like a sweet salty mix.
Good for mainly cold weather imho, Gilded has a slight cool edge but feels like a embrace from a long lost friend. Longevity is great, lasted easily 10 hours for me and stuck on my clothes until I washed them. I would've bought a bottle if it worked for me, but alas I didn't.
8/10. Sweet and salty spiced musk dipped in brown sugar.
Grasslands:
My favourite from the house, Grasslands is the golden hour in the dog days of summer in a warm hay field. Very nostalgic of a scent, definitely a more masculine force to be reckoned with but holds a bit of softness from the underbelly of tonka bean and mimosa. Slightly herby on opening, the tobacco is the star of the show until it calms melding into the oakmoss and tonka. I don't normally care for tobacco, but this is warm almost sweet, a photorealistic take on the plant freshly dried not at all dusty or stale. Like a fine cigar this is a slightly rich fragrance that settles nicely leaving a warm embrace in it's wake.
Although it reminds me of summer, I'd argue that Grasslands is a year round scent. Easily layered with other scents, I prefer something either herbal/medicinal or bright/citrus to slide in with it's warmth depending on my mood. Lasts all day 10-12 hours from my experience and is definitely a scent I'll be going back for more once my bottle runs out.
10/10. Summer warmth in a blanket of golden fields.
Lucky Days:
I'll just poke this in as a side note, but Lucky Days is my least favourite scent of the bunch but not because I don't necessarily enjoy the scent. It's mainly because to my nose it smells super similar to a soap my late father used all the time called 'Irish Spring', it's unwearable to me for that reason alone. If you've smelled said soap, this is just like it but with a lot more depth.
It's a bright somewhat spicy green fragrance with an overcoat of citrus that settles to a more herbal floral. The orange blossom is definitely the biggest thing I pick up besides the thyme and vetiver, spite being a 'floral' scent, it's very masculine leaning in my mind. The musk adds a bit of salted, metallic addition to the cocktail of green. I'd argue that if this fragrance was a colour it would be green and white.
Absolutely a year round scent, good for all types of weather, Lucky Days sticks. Lasting between 10-12 hours, it's almost impossible to scrub off. It's lovely for anyone who's looking for a more 'cologne' type scent from Paraphrase.
7/10. Masculine green floral, well rounded all weather staple.
Sex & Jasmine:
If Lush's Lust had an older, quieter sister, this would be it. Sex & Jasmine is very much a salted skin white floral with a background of new age shop sandalwood incense burning along side it. The midnight rendezvous on a humid, hot night. It's a hefty white floral that's also got a slight airiness about it, like a soft touch of silky sheets, this fragrance glides over skin. Really coming to life in the heat, it's a one of a kind for an animalic jasmine. With just a touch of vanilla lending a hand in giving it a gentle creaminess, this is definitely what I'd coin as an 'intimate' fragrance but without the raunchiness.
Blooms the best in the hottest of temperatures, Sex & Jasmine really lives up to its name imho. Lasts around the 6-7 hour mark, it does become a more 'skin scent' and isn't ridiculously loud. Drifts over you like a magical whisper. I'll definitely be getting a full bottle of this once I finish the travel size. I can see why it's a best seller.
10/10. Warm gentle intimate white floral with the perfect presence.
Smoked Bloom:
I'll admit it, I wasn't struck on smoked bloom at first but I decided to give it another shot once the weather got warmer and I could see what some other reviews had mentioned on it being something special. It almost reminded me of a shoe store with a hint of a plasticky note hanging in the opening especially, that disappears during the hot days thankfully.
Smoked Bloom enters with a glimmer of apricot, warm florals, sandalwood, and the vetiver. It's a bizarre scent, but there's something captivating about the blend leaning into almost mysterious territory. The 'smoked' note I'm sure comes from the bay leaf and the vetiver, but it's not ashy or burnt in its execution. Although not named, there's a subtle honey note that my nose picks up on that rides along with the stone fruit and florals that gives it a touch of sweetness, like ripe fruit ready to be picked from the tree. The sandalwood and the musk in the very heart of this fragrance on skin turn creamy, with a woody rustic note - the signature base of this house nicely. I think this is the other fragrance it works well, making it one of a kind, it doesn't smell like a generic fragrance you'd by at the drug store. Smoked Bloom is something you'd have to try for yourself, 110%.
As mentioned, this is a warmer weather fragrance. It doesn't work as well during the colder months of the year, Smoked Bloom really shines in the heat. It's a little bit on the mature side for scents, but it truly is one of a kind.
With regards to longevity, it typically lasts around 8 hours for me, but doesn't choke out the room with it's presence. Projects enough for the person wearing it to smell, which is perfect imho.
8/10. Smoked stone fruit with a magical touch.
Soft Woods:
Probably the most spicy and mature scented out of the bunch, Soft woods is a thorny rose bush deep in a pine forest on a bright spring morning where the dew is still hanging on. I picture this fragrance being worn by someone just as wild as the woods it hails from. This is the witchy counterpart to the friskiness that is Sex & Jasmine or the prim Fin De Siecle. The notes of juniper, fir, and frankincense are forefront and centre but the star is the rose. Definitely not what I would've thought when someone mentions rose fragrances - this is very green, very lush with a herbal take. The cedar and vanilla round out the sharpness of Soft Woods letting it settle to a more dried wood within a beam of sunlight on skin.
Good year round imho, with slightly different leans depending on the season. Winter brings forth more spice to keep you cozy, while summer, the florals and woody base get to shine a little more giving you an almost midday haze to the scent.
Soft woods lasts forever, it's probably one of Paraphrase's strongest scents. Sticks for a solid 12 hours and on clothes you'll get a little whiff here and there the next day for sure. A little bit goes a long way with this one. Like any of the others in the lineup, it's not a scent that fills and stinks out a room, but rather holds more close to the person wearing it.
8/10. Beam of sunshine on a thorny rose bush in the forest.
Troubled Spirits:
Might be wild of me to say it, but this is like a much nicer version of Old Fashioned by Killian. I don't know how the creator, Josh Smith, the man who is the mind behind paraphrase did it, but this smells 1 for 1 of an aged oak barrel whisky on the rocks with orange zest. It's a rich man smoking a cigar sitting in a leather chair in a gentlemen's clue type fragrance, very luxurious and leans nicely into the spices provided - very well crafted. It's not sickly sweet unlike other boozy fragrances I've smelled, this is something special. The base of oakwood, amber, incense, and funny enough - patchouli - really work here and compliment each other. Even the rose note helps maintain that liquor scent.
I'd say this is more a cold weather scent, pairs super nice with Burrow (thank me later), but if you're bold enough you could wear it whenever. Not for the meek, but not for the obnoxious, Troubled Spirits is a very well contained soul that knows when to act. It's not quite my type of scent but I can appreciate it.
Longevity wise, this lasts a good 7-8 hours and eventually does fade to a warm skin scent. Not ridiculously loud or heady, it's just enough to make its presence known.
10/10. Best aged oak barrel whisky that I can't drink.
In conclusion:
I personally love Paraphrase. Their take or vibe isn't for everyone especially if you're not struck on rustic/photorealistic scents and want more of a 'perfumey' type fragrance. Thankfully Paraphrase does sell discovery sample sets that include a discount towards a full bottle if one did want to try them because as per most fragrances, these are not blind buy friendly and I highly recommend trying them yourself.
All in all Paraphrase is very unique and I love that about them, they really mean you won't smell like anyone else. I have yet to come across another perfume house like them out of two dozen I've tried. It's also nice that they're not like designer scents, they don't have that weird screechy base of synthetic musks or aldehydes. The quality is there and for the price point they're reasonable cost wise.
I'll be purchasing again my favourites once I empty what I have. Top 3 for me is definitely Grasslands, Sex & Jasmine, and Eros Fig. Fin De Siecle is the runner up, she's something else and very old school but it's one scent I'll more than likely be grabbing a full bottle of once the travel size runs out.
Hopefully this gives folks a bit of insight before they buy.
It was pitch black (thank god for my phone flashlight) coming down the last hill to Fort Amherst but entirely worth it. Seeing the moonrise up from the ocean was wild, pictures don't do it justice; it was like a red mirage - absolutely captivating.
Some of my favourite photos of the year I captured on this hike and 100% do it all over again even with the struggle of climbing some large hills along with the scramble on the back end.
Watching the colours meld into the sky once I reached the top of the hill from the beach was something I'm happy to cross off on the bucket list. Some of the best views of the city can be seen from this trail too for the adventurous.
It was so dry this year we got a nice glimpse of the sandy beach just on the other side of the barachois at Freshwater Bay. It was magical to sit here during the peak of golden hour and have a snack with the colours of autumn to enjoy in the background. 10/10 would recommend.
I didn't get far because of a river that was impassible due to the heavy downpours the night before but it was a treat to hike at least a little bit of this trail. I also love the toad that decided to say hello, what a beauty!
So one of the things I've been quietly chomping away at in the background is doing my own little version of 'project pan' with some of the perfumes I have since I've gathered quite a collection. Essentially I'll only be replacing the ones that I really like and not buying something that I'm not fully in love with to cut down on my own spending and to save space on my shelves.
If there's anything I have to say is I really had too much at one point but I am slowly getting through what I can. Some of the bottles I had I actually gave away to some friends and family (I still have 4-5 I need to rehome). Some of them I've been very liberal with how much I've been using to get through them, the top picture is actually what I'm currently focusing on at the moment - hopefully I'll have finished within the next 6 months or so in between using the rest of my collection regularly. The other photos are some of the bottles I've gotten through already, what I really liked I replaced with a small bottle or in the exception of Lord of Misrule, I bought the large bottle - it is a favourite of mine and definitely a daily driver for sure.
I've had to get creative with what I have, namely using some as bathroom spray or as an added scent for dryer sheets for the ones that I wasn't fussy on or had fallen out of love with. It's nice that the perfumes I do have don't go off for a long time so I have no worries about them expiring, but I am focusing on the older bottles I have. Confetti was the oldest in my collection and I managed to get through it although some of the notes did dim over time, there was a more heavy wood note by the time I finished her on the dry down compared to when she was new.
Others I find don't hardly change with age. Fresh As was one such scent, the new bottle smells just like the old one I just finished although it was just over 4 years old. I've learned that some ingredients take longer to break down than others in my learning curve about fragrances, some even smell better over time as they age. I think patchouli is one such scent, it becomes almost jammy/sweet over time from it's usual herbal earthiness.
Setting up myself to focus on using what I have is great, I find it's really helped cut down on my over consumption of items that aren't really something I want in the long run. Giving myself ample to time to sit on the purchases I make and not giving into FOMO (fear of missing out) has been quite the relief on the pocket book. I think this method has also helped me use up what I have instead of hoarding it too, today is a special enough occasion for me to use whatever really. I don't have to wait for the right moment, if I did that there'd be things that would never get to see the light of day in my collection.
Finding that I'm someone who loves variety depending on the season and my mood, I've got a wide selection of choices to pick from when it comes to many things not just my fragrance collection. I have a collection of different outfits to wear or music records to listen to. I think my taste varies for many things that I enjoy including entertainment, I can't really say I hate 'x' genre because there's always going to be something or another that I like from there.
With fragrance, I feel like a whole world has opened up. I'm not really a person for designer perfumes as a general rule of thumb, I don't want to fill the room with my scent nor do I enjoy the synthetic or screechy scent a lot of them carry. I think my favourites so far have been the more photorealistic scents - something that carries me to a different place or even a different time. I also don't always like crowd pleasing scents, I'm not struck on most vanillas or gourmand scents. I much rather smell like a handful of fresh dirt than a cookie or danish.
Probably one of my favourite fragrances I've come across is Grasslands by Paraphrase - it's a golden late afternoon in the dog days of summer basking in a golden field of hay or inside a dusty cottage in said field. Absolutely gorgeous, but that's the kind of scents I'm looking for. Something different, something off the beating track just like myself. I know I won't find that in popular mass produced scents; just like style or how you carry yourself, fragrance is a form of self expression - it's something to define yourself with in the memories of others. I like being the only person in the room with the presence I have, what I wear reflects that.
And just how fragrance is a personal thing, depending on the person depends on how what the scent is interpreted too - some of it is even chalked up to genetics. Blackcurrant is a fun fragrance for that, to some it smells like cat pee or just urine in general, to me it almost holds a sickly syrupy gasoline/plastic note. It's pretty fascinating to see the discrepancies between people and their olfactory senses, kind of reminds me of colour and our interpretation of that - what one person sees might not be the same as yourself.
It's definitely been a fun journey to see what I like, and to see what sticks. I'm sure I'll find more fragrances in the future that I'll love, but for now, I'm okay with what I have.
Cheers!
Ps: I will be doing a full review of Paraphrase's fragrances soon since I've had the chance to try them all as of writing this. So keep your eyes peeled for that!
At the beginning of the year I made a playlist for the more 'earthy' sounding songs I binged on, some are definitely wild but I think the title 'MOSS' fits. I've had a significant shift in what I've been listening to over the course of 2025 (wrapped is going to be a dumpster fire fuelled by raccoons), but it's fun to branch out - see what tickles the feelers.
I might've had this playlist on loop a little too much but I love it all the same. It's been great to discover some of the sounds that I've included here. Never thought I'd be going from Aussie indie dream pop to Nordic folk metal in the same sitting but here we are.
I'll continue to add whatever I feel fits as I go. This is already a days worth of songs, what's a bit more?
2025 may not have panned out how I hoped it would (I'm currently just getting over my third cold/flu this year) but it has been a decent year for hiking. I'll definitely be getting some of the pictures I've taken since January posted within the next handful of days. The water levels are still low since the spring, I went through some of the photos I had taken before the summer and noticed it. This year has been one of the driest on record and one of the warmest. St John's has recorded over 80 days with plus 20 degrees Celsius weather - very unusual. I'm hoping 2026 will be a bit wetter even if we have to have a month straight of rain.
For the bulk of my hikes, save for the two times I hiked Sugarloaf Path by myself, my good friend Kevin has been my partner in crime. He's the person who's taken all the shots of me from a third person POV on our adventures. We've chewed off some fun hikes and have a good few planned. Tomorrow is Halloween, we'll be tackling a portion of Picco's Ridge - a challenging trail not for the faint of heart. I've only ever seen about a third of Picco's Ridge, I hiked it back in spring of 2022 with another close friend and haven't been back since so this should be fun.
Hiking has been a great outlet for me, just somewhere I can be alone sometimes and enjoy my own company while getting a little bit of exercise. Spite the fires and the lack of rain, this year has been great to get out and stretch the legs when possible. I highly recommend anyone who's able to just leave the house and see the world around you, it does something magical for the soul. There's always something new to see with the changing of seasons and the weather. I love getting to hike year round and the sheer fact that nature is right on my doorstep.
I've got lots of fun hikes planned in the future, I look forward to sharing all of them with everyone. I'll definitely be taking lots of photos of what catches my eye!
I don't typically talk much about the weather here but if there's anything I have to say is I've never seen a summer like this one. A lot of people don't believe in climate change yet here I am living in a place known for rain, drizzle, and fog with none to be found. I can't help but reminisce how lovely last summer was even if I melted with the typical July heatwave and humidity.
We haven't had any rain this month, which is highly unlike us here on the island. The spring was quite dry and the winter didn't provide much snow. I know a lot of us curse the rain and the muggy weather we get, I am guilty of that myself, but I don't think I want the alternative. The town I grew up in now has a smoke cloud hanging over it like a shroud due to a wildfire on our doorstep.
As of today, August 12th, I'm not under an evacuation alert although I'm not far out of that zone. It's bizarre hearing about wildfires and the dangers they pose throughout the years but it's really unsettling when it hits home - literally. Between the raging fire that started in Kingston across the bay now eating away at the land spite what efforts have been posed to stop it and now the one just down the highway bolstering the lifeline of the most populous area on the island I can say without a doubt it's terrifying. What's wild is to think there's been people who've lost everything in this mess - people I know and cherish left without a single thing besides the smoldering wasteland mother nature has left them.
I feel like the mild inconveniences I've had from the poor air quality over the past week is a drop in the bucket compared to the struggles that first responders have to deal with. I can't go hiking around some of my favourite places, the smoke is enough to practically smother you at times. Even just stepping out in it for a few minutes the scent lingers.
The whole situation makes me feel helpless. It's not a feeling I particularly like, but all I can really do is pray that we get a dumping of rain soon. I don't think I've ever wanted to see rain so bad in my life, yet here I am, wishing for it.
I'm looking forward to fall, to wetter and cooler weather. I don't think I've ever wanted summer to end so badly but I do. I can't bare to think how the animals are faring with the drought and the heat but the plants don't look happy. So many of the berries have started to shrivel and the leaves are already dying on some of the trees and the flowers. Hurts my soul to see. We're not an arid climate, but right now we sure feel like one.
I hope this is just a one off thing, but I don't know.
Hopefully I won't get evacuated and folks can get the fires under control but I guess I'll have to wait and see. I'll be prepared just in case.
Stay safe.
08/16/25 edit:
I happy to say we’re safe for now, my happy place hasn’t burned to the ground. The air quality has significantly improved, there’s not a lick of smoke in the sky. Yesterday we got a small dumping of rain and the heatwave finally came to an end (thank Christ for that).
I’m hoping we’ll have a nice fall, I’m thoroughly enjoying the crisp morning we have while drinking my coffee. I hate to be the person to say it, but I’m looking forward to summer coming to an end. Bring on the sweater weather and the rain, drizzle, and fog that we’re known for.
The past year was a little more quiet than some of the previous years, there wasn't really a sole event that stuck out as a turning point or left a presence that I could faithfully say took my life for a turn. Sometimes I think people take for granted the lulls or the downtime that life provides before the storm starts to turn again. I've allowed myself time to breathe and time to just be human. It's easy enough to forget that not everything has to have purpose or meaning.
One of the biggest things I've done over thirty-one was bite back at some of my bad habits. I've come to terms that I can have fun without putting myself in a hole and regretting either the money or time I've spent. It's having the dawning realization that I can have my cake and eat it too but I can't have everything at once.
I've also come to terms with the fact that I can't be everywhere at once and won't try to. If someone needs me, they'll find me. Stepping back from social media and cherishing my time more wisely has been a gift although not everyone may agree with that. There's something entirely freeing about not being tethered to something 24/7, I don't owe anyone anything, it's okay to exist on your own terms. You're allowed some form of escapism if you so choose.
There's a lot that I've left behind over the years, this year I promised myself it would be some of my bad habits. I need to be kinder to myself. Allow myself to have flaws but not to let them consume me. Like the previous chapters of my life, I won't miss what I no longer have; to get comfortable with my new normal and accepting the benefit of playing the long game. That's something that I'm willing to do.
The only thing I guess I have to say is to see where thirty-two takes me. I'm done fighting myself and being my own worst enemy. It's time for me to find cooperation within.
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