Hiro

12/11/2026

[disoc8boy]

[disoc8boy]

i lost the desire to write im tired nd unmotivated the therapist told me to write how i saw myself in the mirror, i havent been doing it because i dont want to, maybe i should do it but i cant i hate how i look but sometimes i like myself its just confusing but still i dont want to write told me to fix my sleeping schedule too, i cant. i feel like im a failure that i cant even do such a simple thing as write, i always loved to write but again, i lost desire into doing it, ill be fine.

[disoc8boy]

[disoc8boy]

A little piece of my diary.

[disoc8boy]

there was a message here before, delet3d because everyone can see it.

[disoc8boy]

All rabbits die alone.

[disoc8boy]

[disoc8boy]

[disoc8boy]

[disoc8boy]

[disoc8boy]

tired of posting or writing, i hate everything i used to love, kinda done with everything

[disoc8boy]

12/11/2026

[disoc8boy]

How many times has it been? Honestly i can't recall, it was a burden i never wanted since i was young, just dismissal and scorn, A curse i've carried all throughout my life, it takes away my sanity yet somehow gives me delight it brings me agony every single day so much suffering all because of a bitch your demands irritate me, insensitive i'd say so much hunger in my stomach i hope it's just worms, so much blood on the ground it's your fault, forever your filthy soul i'm so so unclean Everything that happens i always end up to blame, deep inside i feel like something's wrong with me, i should have realized it long ago, the fault was always by the one who stood by me.

negligence and psychopathy since childhood emotional abuse i've had since i was just a kid only traumas and traumas stuck in my memory i'll stay quiet after all, that was once my hope Where are you going? i think we're going too far i got used to having effective control over ur life that satisfied me.

[disoc8boy]

lowk kms tonight xDD im too tired to even think im so tired of everybody i dont want to be alive and if i ever hurt anybody by my death, im sorry i tried, i dont even know what the fuck to do im never going to be free.

[disoc8boy]

i need a lot of fucking papers to change my name for fucks sake just let me change it already i dont want to keep living im annoyed and everyone around me always keeps buzzing me and annoying me all fucking day 24/7 IM TIRED just leave me the fuck alone for once i cant keep up, why do i gotta babysit others? why instead of just leaving everything already why do i stay? i cant with my mental health but i have to take care of her, ig thats my fucking job and worst of it all is that im obsessed with her so even so i cant even fucking leave because without her im barely alive, im TIRED holy shit

its completely my fault for being like this XDD i shouldve js committed when i could, when nothing held me back but as much i care abt her i cant do it, she would die probably or maybe its just me, is it codependency both ways? or is it me the dependant one, the one who would die without her, im so fucking fed up i wish she was fully dependant on me, or she is?

idk and im tired, i want to die but i want her too and if everything its on my mind its my mistake if she aint dependant on me i would js commit "unhealthy relationship" STFU i just want HER to be OBSESSED with ME, after EVERYTHING i do for her, reassuring, caring and loving her, i cant she keeps saying shes gonna kill herself every FUCKING day, im so fucking tired like I DO TOO i do everything she says and i give her everythin for what? what if she isnt even dependant on me all that for fucking nothing? im so fucking tired

i just want her to only need me and only me it pisses me off sm when she talks to others like atp just ask THEM for attention not mine maybe im js toxic, full control of her doesnt sound at all bad but idfk im just tired thats all.

[disoc8boy]

Diagnosed with fucking ADHD WTF XD??? istg i dont have fucking adhd and yet diagnosed im actually going to end it, they js diagnose me and put me on pills, no help whatsoever just pills genuienly im ending it after i change my name so in my grave itll be engraved.

nothing is fucking real and what do i get? adhd fucking nice W psychologist im just gonna end it and now i wait knowing my end anxiously tomorrow or in some months its the fucking end

[disoc8boy]

Change my name leave my past behind and die probably thats the future i'll have and yet everyone will forever expect more of me nothing is enough for them.

the only thing i've ever wanted was to be normal always got treated like i was an outkast did i deserve to be alone? did i deserve to suffer?

grew emotionally and socially dettached i don't matter as much as others, i'm just there and nobody will ever fucking understand me "i'm there for you no matter what" lies XD

no matter who reads this shit you wont get it you can't comprehend my feelings or what i feel i don't know who i am everything feels fake one day i'll disappear and everyone will wonder "what happened?" nothing happened, i'm fine the day i kill myself there won't be no messages i will just do it and end my fucking misery.

i'm completely fucking done.