I promise nothing and deliver less.

[guerrillatech]

[pretentiouslimericks]

The trigger discipline is what makes this for me

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

i’m so bored can someone please throw a stimulating toy into my enclosure

[tamale-actual]

[scifi-fantasy-horror]

by  LiXin Yin

[michigrim]

This is one of my favorite visual gags

[superarthurl]

Wow this is awesome it sounds good

[coaltar-of-the-deepers]

oh, to sax into the tube

[onlytwitterpics]

[catoverlord]

[iamonlykidding-deactivated20210]

[ouchmyworm-deactivated20190708]

[verdeinvolumes-deactivated20190]

[braetsch]

[star-cocks-deactivated20181217]

[pastelburrito]

[jojomangaedits]

[rainbowgazes-archive]

[gamerphobic-deactivated20200727]

[thewomenandthechildren]

It’s time to activate it…

Bites The Dust! now this entire post will be reversed!

[aliiiiiiice]

[avocadosfromfigaro]

[averruncusho]

Am I having a fucking stroke

[lindwyrmrelinquished]

This is like the fifth time I’ve run into this post what the fuck

[karmagrey]

Why is this the FIRST thing I see on my dashboard

[suffer-my-beloved-mutuals]

What the fuck is this

[official-portugal]

twitter

[belldomar]

A quick translation:

Dude: OK, guys, let’s assign the disasters. Hum, tsunami. Who wants the tsunami?

2004: Yeah, I’ll have the tsunami.

Dude: OK, 2004 has the tsunami. 2012, do you still want the asteroid?

2012: Nah, no need.

Dude: Cool, let’s schedule that for 2030. OK, 2020, I have-

2020: FIRES.

Dude: OK, we can do fires, no problem-

2020: NUCLEAR TENSION.

Dude: Fires and… nuclear tension?

2020: PANDEMIC.

Dude: 2020, you can’t just- just have EVERYTHING-

2020: KOBE BRYANT DIES IN A HELICOPTER ACCIDENT.

1986: Wh-who’s Kobe Bryant?

1347: Heli-what?

Dude: So, you’re asking for fires, nuclear tension, a pandemic AND the death of basketball legend in your year!?

2020: TILL MARCH.

Dude: C’mon. Guys, help me with this.

1986: I would say something, but… CHERNOBYL! Oops, am I right?

2014: At least you still have the twin towers.

2000: Wait, what do you mean?

1347: I agree that 2020 is pushing it-

1945: YOU’RE LITERALLY- You’re the high point of the Bubonic plague!

1347: Oh, much apologies, Sir TWO ATONIC BOMBS!

1945: It’s ATOMIC, you f*ing medieval-

1347: Who are you calling medieval, G.I. Joe. Go play with your-

1945: Here we go again-

2000: Now, seriously, what-

1: Y’all want BREAD?!

1347, with a funny accent: Look at me! I have ME.DI.CI.NE.

[weaselle]

the comedic timing really carries even when you don’t speak the language

[metalgearemily]

diggin the ios4 update

[videofame]

[tilthat]

TIL every 13 years, the NHL removes the names of 13 teams engraved on the Stanely Cup to make room for more teams.

via reddit.com

[funnelcloudd]

Make the Cup bigger

[montilyetron]

Hey my dude, you got it wrong. This is the stanley cup

It layers of multiple rings and each ring has enough space to engrave 13 teams on them. When the newest ring fills up, the oldest one is removed and a new ring is added. The old ones go to the Hockey Hall of fame. If they didnt do this… the cup would be humongous:

[funnelcloudd]

Make the Cup bigger

[monkey-network]

this pilot spoke to me

[paruo]

[m00nlight-equilibrium]

[khemicalvex]

yes

[violetindigoqueen]

Lmmmmaaaaooo

[i-bid-the-moon]

BUT HE DIED THE SAME DAY HURRICANE SANDY STARTED

[theawesomeadventurer]

OH SHIT

[the-mourning-after-pill]

[sixpenceee]

Out running a flamethrower with a drone | source                         

[kaumnyakte]

i like the conspiracy theories that albanian pop stars are promoted by ??? in order to ??? ??? greater albania

[dogsforwhiteboysummer]

What the fuck is greater Albania?

[kaumnyakte]

[pixelatedfrog-deactivated202009]

how long have I been out

[peashooter85]

A Samurai posing with his katana and revolver, 19th century.

[outofcontexttokusatsu]