Dodging the daily grind

Reblogging and wasting time.

[itsnotwhatimlike]

embarrassment has good bones

[oaluz]

When everything is embarrassing, that’s a sign that your passion is waking up, and it wants more. Your desire is a tender sprout that wants more water, more sunshine. It wants you to give up on SEEMING happy and in control and to start FEELING joy instead, even when it feels a little too big, even when it makes you cry, even when it forces you to question where you are and why.

Passion and desire and shame and sadness don’t signal that you have to change everything immediately, though. These are sensations that don’t require solutions. Your primary job, in the face of renewed lust for life, is to tolerate the shame of joy.

Because embarrassment is sometimes just a sign that you’ve never lived out in the open before, you’ve never cared more about a feeling than you care about how you’re coming across, you’ve never prioritized happiness over control.

This is why it’s good to take risks that might embarrass you regularly. Because every time you dare to embarrass yourself for the sake of who you are, you’re teaching your body to prioritize joy. You’re teaching yourself to let go of seeming better than the things you love. You’re showing yourself how to feel where you are — to soak in the cool fall air, to breathe in the moon, to love every lopsided moment of your glorious, flawed life.

Shame is a Side Effect of Desire, Heather Havrilesky

[plainwaterpdf]

I Worried, Mary Oliver

[monstermonstre]

"When a young person's universe is in turmoil [...] there are two working theories the child could adopt. One is that her little world is terribly awry and misshapen, her parents incapable or unwilling to love and care. In other words, she is unsafe. The other, which wins out virtually every time, is that she—the child—is flawed.

[...] self-blame, like guilt, is an unflagging protector. Believing that the deficiency is ours gives us at least a modicum of agency and hope: maybe, if we just work hard enough, we can earn the love and care we need."

–Dr. Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal

[homunculus-argument]

The funny thing about generational trauma is that it doesn't really look like trauma. It just looks like "that funny thing that everyone's mom does for no apparent reason."

[engenever-beaver]

Yes, this is so true. Most people never questioned why Grandmas in Ukraine always filled every possible square centimeter of storage space with preserves.

Most didn't understand, why they were so strict that preserves should not be opened till the middle of winter.

It was a memory of famine, war, artificial famine and war again.

While they were irrational leftovers from generational trauma, this "traditions" actually saved a lot of people when war and full scale invasion came to their homes.

[homunculus-argument]

Chilling to be reminded that for as long as it continues to exist, being prepared for The Eastern Neighbour starting bullshit again is never truly an irrational fear.

[delphinidin4]

My maternal grandmother was married in the 1930s, during the Great Depression. She learned to save up every single thing for second use. Throw nothing out that could be useful again. Buy nothing that isn't truly necessary. Save money like your life depends on it, because it might.

Because my mom (born way later, in the 1950s) was raised like this, she too tended to save everything for second usage and avoid buying things that weren't necessary.

Because I (born way later, in the 1980s) was raised like this, I have spent the last ten years reminding myself that it's okay to throw things away and it's okay to buy things I don't genuinely need. I'll never forget the time I realized that, because I was living away from my parents, I could actually buy more washcloths and use two of them in the shower at once (one for upper body and one for lower body), and the world wasn't going to collapse. Because my mother would have told me how wasteful that was, because her mother would have told HER how wasteful that was, because Grandma grew up in the Great Depression and couldn't AFFORD a second washcloth.

It is 2026. That was the 1930s. I am literally still unlearning my grandmother's hundred-year-old trauma.

[ratsquinks]

olive in her favourite spot having a ponder

[ratsquinks]

me showing olive all the lovely things everyone wrote about her in the tags

[sparrowlucero]

genuinely find it fascinating how much fantasy writing discussion/advice online is centered around the struggle of making a dndish/tolkien rip off fantasy world stand out and feel different than the others, and regularly comes to the conclusion that to succeed at this you should focus even harder on realistically detailing the cultures of the elves/humans/orcs/dwarves/whatever random group of fantasy races are hanging around (the thing most of these projects already massively focus on) in the hopes that yours is simply the most vivid and evocative ever, as opposed to, like, just writing anything else

[raemanzu]

sorry @tearlessrain I have to share your tags they're just so good

#look the whole reason tolkien and other fantasy writers of his caliber are so well received is that they were doing something they loved#tolkien had multiple detailed conlangs because he was really into linguistics#he wrote about the themes he did because they were important to him#so find something you love and write that instead of trying to write like someone else#if you want to build a complicated fantasy world build it around your interests#if you're into astronomy than draw up star charts and write a whole history of your world that highlights the significance of them#if you're really into the history of textiles then use that to add flavor to the cultures and characters#you gotta fall in love with the thing you're making at least a little bit that's the key

[what-even-is-thiss]

I was watching a video game challenge run of all things when the guy said “The old versions of yourself aren’t ever completely gone. You just become more” and when I tell you that took me the heck out

[what-even-is-thiss]

It was in reference to growing up because he was roleplaying as a dad that’s trying to save every kid in the game.

That’s part of growing up. You don’t lose your past selves. You just become more. More new parts of you just get added on. That’s a way of looking at it that’s never occurred to me before.

[before-we-knew]

@funnier-as-a-system

[doorstoplord]

Patron saint of clowns and harlequins everywhere

[eclogues]

i want to get a master's degree i want to take a cake decorating class i want to dance i want to sing i want to write and remember how to think i want to swim i want to be free

[beemovieerotica]

we need a ritual where you can climb into a hole in the ground for roughly 24 hours and just close your eyes and not do anything, and nobody is allowed to look for you or speak your name, and whenever you want to reemerge then you can climb back out and people are forbidden from commenting on your absence. can someone get on this.

[ismenes]

When my son was about to turn two, strangers would offer condolences. There’s a collective cultural dread of toddlers, who get described more like animals than people. Kids in their "terrible twos," I was warned, are illogical, unregulated, and feral. "Good luck," people would say. "He'll grow out of it."

I'm lucky: My son is a very easygoing kid. But I remember the first tantrum he threw for me. He was standing by our front door and asked to go outside. So I opened the door and grabbed his shoes. But as soon as he stepped onto the porch, he pointed back into the house.

"Inside," he said.

"Okay," I said. I picked him up and brought him inside.

But as soon as I shut the front door, he pointed outside.

"Outside!" he said.

You know where this is going. We went back and forth, inside and outside, again and again. He got more frustrated. And I got more frustrated. Eventually he wound up straddling the threshold of our house, sobbing. When I tried to comfort him, he screamed at me. "You go wherever you want!" I said. He just got madder. I felt trapped, convinced he’d concocted the whole episode as a pretext to unleash his rage at me. It was ridiculous. I consoled myself with the thought that he was just being a toddler.

But later I kept thinking about him wailing at our front door, one foot inside, one foot outside. His misery wasn't unreasonable, or trivial, or silly. My son was experiencing the agony of wanting two things that were impossible to have at the same time. What a fundamentally human sorrow! My son wasn't being a toddler; he was being a person. Adults may not walk around howling, but that same pain rages within us. In that moment, as a father, I was powerless to solve my son's problem. I told him he could go wherever he wanted, but of course I was wrong. To be where he wanted was impossible.

Make Believe: On Telling Stories to Children by Mac Barnett

[nevver]

Glimmering, Amy Friend

[may12324]

Dyke Knights ⚔️

[pnglove]

RAT CAKE ♡🐀

[notgreatbob]

''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments

[callmezeemonic]

You did the best you could with all you had and knew. That was then. Here is now

[castaras]

prev tags correct

[thesweetiepienovels]

Someone said “The slow burn of becoming yourself” and I think that might be one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. It’s such a good reminder of how much it takes, how much character development, how much change, and beauty and courage it takes to reach your soul and I hope no one ever gives up on becoming themselves because it’s a never ending journey that only gets better.

[raylangivins]

my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “daylight savings time” youll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

1 hour and 5 minutes later: dude I swear it’s only been 5 minutes

my friend the oven, pacing: the smart devices are lying to us

[shiny-rhydon]

yeah sure i'll reblog that

[frontmansdefender]