donttakemehome

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to spit in her mouth. Fell into the Heated Rivalry hole. Other fandoms: MDZS, SVSSS, hockey, Ted Lasso. dont_take_me_home on AO3.

[lesspopped]

affirmation: I am capable of finishing the works of pornographic fanfiction I start writing

[shanepervert]

[scunthotter]

People who are making posts telling us what is happening over on threads, twitter, and Instagram are like war correspondents sending us reports from the front.

[mothsartart]

something about a martyr complex

[pingupipit]

omg his hair...

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[jame7t]

not me though. im girl with tanktop

[transmechanicus]

we are goig to GET you

[gaynehollander]

Shane would safeword and then be like "why'd you stop?"

[donttakemehome]

Ilya (holding the knife nervously): Because we said that's the word you use when you really want to stop.

Shane: Sure, yeah. But what if I say it and you don't stop

Ilya: Okay, but... Maybe then we choose another word... For when you really want to stop and mean for me to stop

Shane (rolls eyes): You're so boring Rozanov

[qin-shi-huang-di]

bixia you spelled “seize” wrong

I AM THE SON OF HEAVEN, YOU WORM! IF I SAY ITS RIGHT, THEN IT IS RIGHT!

GUARDS, SIEZE AND EXECUTE THIS TRAITOR!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

this is literally how he unified the language, you guys really can’t be surprised

[king-sejong-the-great]

This is an excellent idea! I will consult the Hall of Worthies regarding seizing and arresting all who opposed my new written language!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

wait no sejong I thought you were cool </3

[king-sejong-the-great]

After consulting with the Hall of Worthies, we have determined that arbitrarily seizing and arresting scholars, even ones that are annoying as hell, would not adhere to the principals of virtuous leadership.

Shucks.

[qin-shi-huang-di]

NOOO sejong you were so close to being cool </3

#persecutescholars

[qin-shi-huang-di]

my GRAND and MAGNIFICENT throne room is more than enough to accommodate the three of us!

[king-sejong-the-great]

It would be absolutely against protocol for the King of Joseon to sit upon the Imperial Throne of the Middle Kingdom.

[qin-shi-huang-di]

bold to assume you will be sitting on the throne, vassal. you will take your proper place beneath me.

[qin-shi-huang-di]

FIGURATIVELY!!!!

[qin-shi-huang-di]

GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER THE THRONE ROOM IS A SACRED PLACE. THERE WILL BE NO ELICIT ACTIVITY TAKING PLACE THERE

[circumference-pie]

bixia you spelled illicit wrong

[qin-shi-huang-di]

SHUT THE UP!!!!!!!!!!

[lousolversons]

how do you reconcile with liking morally imprehensible content and problematic media?

i dont reconcile w anything bc i dont give a shit thanks for sending me this batshit ask tho

[merrygosorry14]

Fleury’s like a little mouse prince that was turned into a human and Marchy is like a New York sewer rat that was turned into a human, however I love them both

[bitterflames]

so tragic when you're an enjoyer of characters who are toxic destructive messes and then the majority of the fics are like "what if they communicated healthily and were nice to each other :)"

like if i wanted to read about wholesome well-adjusted relationships i would NOT be looking for stories about these freaks in particular i promise you!!!

[theblogginggoth]

By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!

[nadiacreek]

This is one of my husband’s favorite short stories. He quotes it from memory. I’m pretty sure he can recite the entire thing from memory.

[elodieunderglass]

This is a tremendously impactful short story and every time I see it, it serves as an excellent reboot button for my state of mind.

[russianblush]

this feels like emotional torture

[ilyapasta]

Hinge

Shane/Ilya; 5k; Explict Tags: dom/sub, sexual free ese, POV Shane, face-fucking, rough sex, objectification, exhibitionism, possessiveness, under-negotiated kink (but that's just them), married Hollanov, Post-TLG

Preview:

Don’t talk and don’t come and stay where I put you when I need you, or I’ll find another hole to fuck, one that’s always ready for me, Ilya had said last night in Shane’s ear, making him shiver in anticipation. Shane doesn’t have anywhere to go. He doesn’t have anywhere to be, other than right here, until Ilya needs him. ~ Or, Shane experiences a day of free use.

Read on Ao3

(Please read the complete list of tags on Ao3)

(shout out @mybloodstream-caffeine for the original idea that spurred this I can't find the post but it was something about Shane dealing with being ignored by Ilya)

[creature-feature-perceiver]

was the yaoi really good enough for it to have been worth getting into sports?

[blue0909]

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

[miketon]

[scunthotter]

Ilya teaches Shane how to fuck his girlfriend the fic.

I think I'm going to die I'm so hard after reading this.