I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to spit in her mouth. Fell into the Heated Rivalry hole. Other fandoms: MDZS, SVSSS, hockey, Ted Lasso. dont_take_me_home on AO3.
the only fic i've ever seen that thoughtfully incorporated elements of real life dog sex into omegaverse was hockey rpf but they were breeding hockey players to produce more hockey players and they were the only ones who did this. people who weren't hockey players just had human sex
lots going on here that I really don't feel qualified to comment on but thank you for sharing it with me. enriching to know this is occurring out there somewhere. baruch hashem who makes the creatures different
core update by citrusses (https://archiveofourown.org/works/81082701)
slowly towards the door by segs (https://archiveofourown.org/works/83823181#main)
lenticchie percapodanno by boatcat (https://archiveofourown.org/works/81765661/chapters/215079381)
I was raised out in the cold by lavenderprose (https://archiveofourown.org/works/80206561)
I also just read two great, really chewy winner's room stories which obviously made me think of you: star pupil (https://archiveofourown.org/works/88212911) and an apple in its mouth (https://archiveofourown.org/works/88802461)
loveeee core update + star pupil both SO good!! so your taste is clearly excellent lol can’t wait to read the rest of these
So as much as Ilya likes being domesticated, I cannot believe that man has given up clubbing. He's been a little clubrat since he was able to get in the door of Moscow clubs at way too young of age.
Ottawa has a fuckass nightlife but whenever they're in a city with good clubs Ilya goes out and drinks and dances and at the end of the night (the agreed upon negotiated time) Shane shows up and Ilya "picks him up" then they go back to the hotel for nasty hook up sex.
For Ilya this feels like having his cake and eating it too. He gets to be his sleazy clubrat self, then he gets to take home the hottest man in the club and have nasty sex with him, then he gets to end the night snuggled up in his husband's arms.
there’s a really beautiful AU that exists in my head where shane is some sort of faceless technically-focused reviewer on youtube (like the lockpicking lawyer) and ilya is a dedicated viewer leaving increasingly horny comments about his hands and like, sending him expensive locks to pick on camera
HollanderUnlocks: Here’s my review of the Litelok X3 bike lock. It’s got its issues, but it’s strong enough for the average bike-rider.
rozzingoff: i have a handcuff lock u could help me out with ;))
HollanderUnlocks: Have you lost the key? If you are currently cuffed but able to reach your phone, I would recommend calling emergency services right away. If you are not currently cuffed: most handcuff locks are relatively simple to pick. I have some other videos on my channel where I discuss lockpicking for beginners, as well as an affiliate link where you can get a 10% discount off your first set of picks, if you don’t have any.
rozzingoff: if i were locked in them could you come save me ;)
HollanderUnlocks: I am not sure where you’re located, but if you’re in need of help, please dial your local emergency services as soon as possible.
I have a hockey culture/time period question if you don’t mind! I know hazing has been an issue in almost all sports. I was wondering in your opinion would that have been something Shane/Ilya would have experienced or would their natural talent made them sort of “untouchable”. OR would that same talent make them even more of a target?
I’m imagining the added racialized element with Shane would put a bigger target on his back even if it was subconscious. Ilya’s father we see is incredibly important so I imagine that that might make him more insulted from harm but who knows.
Kinda fucked up, but also can you envision Shane or Ilya PARTICIPATING in hazing of others? More so in a team hierarchy sort of way. Maybe nothing awful but- just little things.
always up to talk abt hockey. yes, they would have been subject to hazing/other proliferated predatory/derogatory abuses/violations from kids AND adults in the hockey feeder system. i appreciate folks not wanting to get into it, but there is no untouchable guy in hockey. so yes, the latter. skill makes a target bc everyone wants to be the best or get one over on the best.
cannot find the link rn, but there's a good bit in a sid cr*sby retrospective that highlights his childhood tournaments, & how he was already so obviously better than the other kids, that he had to stop wearing his jersey in between games in the arenas bc parents/adults would see him and start harassing him for their child's sake; and they targeted him w deliberate attempts to injury/maim.
that's just a small bit of what's available publicly to see.
that's the culture.
yes, it would be worse with shane. exceptionally. with shane there's always gonna be overt (NOT subconscious) racist & violent white capitalist hegemony thinking he is not 'worth enough or white enough' to take on as a part of their for-profit elite white men's club. kids emulate and reflect this, to violently attack players of color.
players today in the league deal with this in a spectrum: if they fight/push back against racist comments/literally having things thrown at them, they are labelled a troublemaker (nazem k*dri). if they make comments pointing out that players are required to assimilate w league culture and not rock the boat, they are punished publicly (zayne p*rekh). if they make a young, dumb mistake, local law enforcement will move to try and end their career, instead of supporting them like white players through an entire SA trial (gavin mck*nna). IF they do none of the above and they break records and churn out killer point totals per season and rarely fight, (and even wear a police jersey on walk-in lmfuckingao) they will still somehow not the be the 'right(white) kind of player' to publicly commend (jason r*bertson).¹
so shane is in a three prong lock of: conformity to white masculinity, lack of bodily/identity autonomy, and systemic state-sanctioned racism and classism.
shane cannot win. and these overarching racist structures will manifest in microaggressions and overt violence against him. the churning animal of the canadian youth hockey system is rife with abuses from coaches paying to get certain kids transferred to their teams for win records/betting, to racist and homophobic epithets being standard, to youth hockey players this month, april'26 getting brought up on charges of SA with a weapon against some of their teammates in a hazing ritual. it's difficult to convey how integrated hockey is with culture and community particularly in rural canada, and how many financial claws it has. but shane was more than probably billeted with a (white, rich) family during his upswing through juniors and he has to play with almost entirely white/privileged kids and no exceptional status is gonna change that, and him being gay will infinitely complicate that and put a bigger target on him. (+ shane growing up haafu/diaspora child, quebecois forced assimilation/linguistic racism, autistic and undiagnosed, overly invested mother figure, ocd coping tendencies, made captain of og-6 team so young, eating disorder, etc.)
ilya is not insulated from harm, no. the russian hockey system exists as an extension of the state via kremlin policy (state-sanctioned propagandized cultural/gender norms and literal regulations for youth sports and the importance of it for russia's image/economy). part of which we can infer, like in the military, includes generational hazing practices echoing dedovshchina. ilya's father, as a general/member of state, is literally feeding into this ideology with his in-text abuse: "apologize to russia/are you not ashamed?".
ilya could have come up through the system through a designated sport school/UOR, which puts scrutiny and additional pressure on him and creates an isolated boarding-school environment which are renown as canada's, for featuring coach abuse and hazing rituals. systemic bodily violations a la overwork, forced drugging, lack of ability to quit the sport, etc. is proven.
so ilya is in a three prong lock of: conformity to culture, lack of bodily/financial autonomy, and state surveillance.
and contextually i think it's important to note the visceral pressure for russian players to maintain conformity thru state control and play for russian teams, adhere and vocally support socio-political ideology, etc. is lifelong. players have had their visas complicated to prevent them from leaving russia to rejoin the NHL after summers (kiril k*prizov), have been coerced to signing contracts to play in russia before leaving for the NHL/had to secret themselves out of russia to play (evgeni m*lkin), have been abducted from outside a rink and taken to complete military service (ivan f*dotov), have been threatened w jail/death to shut the fuck up abt russia's genocide against ukraine (nikita zador*v), etc. every one of them that will speak, reports feeling terrified for their families back in russia if they step wrong. ilya is already in a place of threat being so publicly a russian athlete, let alone tossing being partly gay into it. (+ ilya growing up in domestic abuse/parental suicide home environment, depression, cptsd, hypersexuality, russian in america, made captain so young, immigrant status instability, etc.)
for both of them, being preceived as gay is a dangerous evolution of the threat of being seen as not a team player, not a regular guy, not a hard enough worker. hazing doesn't stop at juniors. this is why they are both terrified in text, during the timeline of s1.
neither shane nor ilya exist in safe spaces, even while hockey is their escape and their joy. that's what makes it complicated. it's never just a game.
so, asking if they would participate in hazing is sorta like asking if they care about hockey, imho. they want to play hockey. to play hockey, you have to be able to be in the locker room with the rest of the guys. and to be in the room, you have to assimilate and conform and endure. yes different rooms have different tones, but everyone young and serious is jockeying for a place in the majors, is indoctrinated into this for-profit abuse system that demands children's bodies and isolates and attacks them to prevent change. hockey hazing culture is rooted in violent misogyny and how men perform that to the judgement of other men. juniors guys referring to girls they sleep with as 'kills', nhl as the only league without a domestic violence policy, etc.
and that becomes wanting to stay in the majors at all costs, and hypermasculine misogynistic performance to white NA capitalist standard is the requirement. guys get real ugly about that and you have to pay your dues, prove you are part of the hockey machine, just a cog. no better than anyone else in the room, what happens in the room stays in the room, no matter the ice. and they don't view this as hazing the way we analyze it as hazing, really. they view it as just how it is. and everyone either makes it through and proves they're a man of the team or they wash out.
shane and ilya made it through. that's what it takes.
thanks for the frank questions. this post is not suuuper detailed, but i think this is important to talk about, obviously. i think we owe it to real kids/folks in these industries to discuss this stuff and keep it in our minds when we engage in fanworks abt HR. bc our support of a hockey tv show feeds into support of hockey as a sport. and that's complicated.
some supplemental texts for shane+ilya+hazing:
@rozzed 's adroit and cutting exploration of generational hazing re: david and shane: here, here
@transshanehollander 's essential, more eloquent, and thorough discussion of structural racism shane endures in childhood/the league and how RR frames it: here, here
Contrails by grudekoks (glanzkohl) which frankly explores the depth of possible cultural and sexual trauma for shane and ilya
i looked over it and i ached by IsvsWorld which explores shane's relationship w his own racial id/hockey system/microagressions
chapter 1 of cracked plexiglass by syntjjh which focuses on hockey being synonymous with white nationalism in canada
@yiiiiiiiikes25 's deft and detailed exploration of sexual assault, institutional misogyny and conformity to capitalist structures: here
@kiyaar recs starting reading on generational military hazing in russia as related to russian masculinity policing: here, here
important context for reality vs. fandom: current uptick in bos, MA youth hazing from players and coaches as a response to HR popularity that talks abt the pervasiveness in NA sport
two links aggregating further readings abt hockey+hazing+racism+gender: here, here. feel free to put in comments any works/fanworks you found particularly insightful!
footnotes
yes, jason is american. i'm pointing to him bc his point totals are close to what shane would be churning out and it has not mattered his entire career wrt the racism he experiences.
gulf winds | 31K | "I do not," Shane said, which was a lie. "And you should reflect on why you like to make your boyfriend upset so often." "My boyfriend likes to be upset," Ilya said. He was leaning fully over into Shane's space now, his elbow on the center console bearing so much of his weight as he swayed, almost accidentally closer. He was giddy, childish, how had he forgotten how good it felt to be with Shane, just to be next to him and talk – "Is there a rest stop coming up?" Natalya asked from the backseat, and Ilya didn't flinch, exactly, but it was a near thing. He'd almost forgotten she was there.| The best 'Ilya gets stuck with his niece' fic I've read so far. Everyone is messy and complicated and ends up hurting each other. Ilya's niece feels like a real teenager. And of course getting saddled with a teenager completely derails Shane and Ilya's Ottawa plan. Realistic consequences make for great conflict and storytelling. Lovely structure (non-linear narration with different intertwined storylines).
get gone | 11K | Shane tries to grab at the right words. "She's not - it's not that simple. Shane Hollander is me but it's also like - it's a thing people use to sell something. It's like a cardboard cutout of me."| Great story that deals well with Shane's anger, his complicated relationship with his public persona and, last but not least, how and when he and Ilya fight. Also does a good job of showing the less nice side of Yuna Hollander, momager. This author has a superb handle on Shane's characterisation, imo.
It’s Kind of a Funny Story by @flawlessassholes | 31K | Nobody knows if Ilya Rozanov tried to kill himself before the draft. Nobody sane goes first overall. And nobody knows if Shane Hollander is going to survive another mediocre season with the Boston Raiders. Isn’t it funny how a single nick in the ice can change the entire game?| My note for this fic simply says "mental health AU" which probably is very indicative of the gibbering mess I was when I was done reading. Take this as a warning, ok? In this AU both Ilya and Shane have mental health issues, everything is handled very well, as far as I can tell, but I also must say this story hit too close to home for me, so I can't be very objective about it. I also gathered this is inspired by a book, but I've never read it and was able to enjoy this without any prior knowledge, FYI.
System Collapse by @darlingofdots | 7.6K | Shane Hollander has severe food allergies. Fortunately, his teammates don't know that. Unfortunately, his teammates don't know that.| There seems to be a niche (but not too niche) fanon that Shane has severe food allergies and I think this lends itself very well to exploring certain sides of Shane (when it doesn't delve into misery!porn) and when I saw @darlingofdots had written a story about it, I knew it was going to be excellent. Fantastic Hayden and Jackie as supportive friends. Love the story structure too and the way therapy is portrayed here. I really hope the author will write more because there's a few threads that could be explored more.
lotophage by @citrusses | 9.8K | During a game against the Boston Raiders, the Metros’ star center Shane Hollander sustains a concussion. Six months later, he still has no memory of his life before the injury.| This fandom has a thing for amnesia fic, I've read so many stories (most of them excellent) so I honestly didn't think anyone could possibly write one that would put a new spin on the trope, you know? Ha. I was a fool. @citrusses gives us a devastating amnesiac Shane. Superb writing. One of those stories that went straight to my Kindle for future re-reading.
Just a Formality by @catherineland| 12K | AU where Shane and Ilya do not get caught by David in 2017. And for an entire year Shane hasn't been able to come out to his parents. Ilya gets a concussion, and Yuna gets a call.| A lovely Yuna POV.
a pox on all your houses by @the-apocrypha| 20K | Chlamydia?" Ilya has never heard Hollander's voice reach such heights in the absence of a cock. "You have chlamydia?" "I did not get it on purpose," Ilya complains.| The one where Ilya gives Shane chlamydia and it's actually a good thing for their relationship. So funny. Perfect character voices.
Your Flight Has Been Delayed | 25K | Ilya Rozanov is many things—a pain in Shane Hollander’s ass, hockey’s biggest playboy, a better chirper in his second language than most people are in their first, the only player who can challenge Shane for the title of “best of his generation.” But when Shane and Ilya get stuck next to each other on a long-delayed flight to the MLH Awards, Shane realizes something else about him: Ilya Rozanov is hot.| Cute AU with a different first meet. Fun, good character voices. . I've just realised a second chapter has been added since I read this! Exciting. I'll read it soon, but right now I'll just say the first chapter worked perfectly well as a standalone for me.
Farewell Mother Russia | 16K | After a decade of careful hiding, that’s that. Everyone is saying his biggest secret out loud. Ilya Rozanov sucks cock. Ilya Rozanov fucks men. Ilya Rozanov isn’t straight. It doesn’t feel quite as life crushing as he imagined it would. A calmness settles into his body. It reminds him of those minutes right after you break a bone, when the damage is already done and you know there’s nothing you can do but sit with it. It hasn’t even been four years since Russia passed the excessively named Law for the Purpose of Protecting Children from Information Advocating a Denial of Traditional Family Values. He can’t think about that now.| Canon divergence AU in which Ilya is outed. Lovely Ilya POV and exploration of his feelings for his family and country.
Exhibit A by @coffeedrgn87| 6.4K | Ilya Rozanov has photographic evidence that could destroy Shane Hollander's reputation. At least, that's what the internet thinks. Briefly.| Sweet and funny. Good characterisation.
Unusual Expenses | 3K | Once Shane's parents know about his relationship with Ilya, they begin treating him accordingly. Ilya is prepared for this. Until he's not. Or, sometimes love comes in the form of unexpected lectures on the rules regarding taxation of capital gains by foreign nationals residing in Canada. And then Shane picks up the pieces.|
Doing The Work by @bomberqueen17| 3.4K | AN: i know enough about hockey to know there's no way a teenaged rookie from a foreign country would have been left to get his own apartment in his first season. no way, he was in somebody's house. so this is whose house he was in, and what he did there.| Technically this is an AU, but not quite, everything that happens in this fic could have happened in canon, just off-screen/off-page. It's a fantastic vignette about Ilya's rookie year and the vet family who put him up that season. Love OCs when they're done well like here.
Do you think about me? Do you think about us? by @queengoose| 3.3K | Shane knows that the opinion of one eighth grade girl from the Boston suburbs is not the thing that will make or break his career. It would matter exactly the same if she was from Montreal, or Texas, or the moon. Which is to say, not at all. She’s not even a hockey fan. Her opinion and her comment are nothing. It doesn’t feel like it’s nothing, though.| Peak 2014, Shane and Ilya do the ice-bucket challenge. So much fun and perfectly in character for that time in the situationship and the internet era, so to speak. The author had such a stroke of genius.
Unnecessary Roughness | 16K | The problem with Happily Ever After is, well, the After.| Future fic. Ilya and Shane are retired, they have a three-year-old and work full-time on the Irina Foundation (which they have expanded). If I had to sun up the plot, it would be '"Shane has a very bad day". What this fic accomplishes in only 16K is amazing. This has immediately shot up to the top of the best post-retirement focus out there! This is so nuanced and full of details, the characterisation is obviously fantastic, but I just can't get over how much research and world-building had to go into this (world-building is probably the wrong word here but hopefully you can still understand what I mean). And it also tackled hockey culture and hazing so organically in the story.
im writing my husbands visa application for him to stay long term in my country and now im thinking about shane who is very carefully compiling all the evidence of their genuine and continuing relationship and making a really nice PowerPoint presentation that includes highlights of their biggest hits against each other on the ice and Canadian immigration is like look we don’t need your weird kink shit we believe you’re together no one would actively do whatever tf you’re doing together, here’s his citizenship pls leave our office immediately
shane has just turned his laptop around to present slide one when the immigration office is like “no need. we believe you. here’s your visa!”. and shane is so upset that all his hard-earned work was for nothing that ilya drives them home and sits himself down on the couch and makes shane present it to him and anya
Also, Shane really didnt need to make a PowerPoint to convince IRCC. All he needed to do was hand over copies of a decade of texts between “Lily” and “Jane”.
Now I’m imagining some poor underpaid bastard of an immigration officer having to read through all that filth from the early years. And later the live declarations. Accompanied by plenty more filth. At least they deleted all the dick pics.
we don’t censor words here stop acting like a fool, when you censor words and tags people who have that word filtered due to triggers will still see it
It gets actually... offensive? When young'uns censor shit like "rape" or "Nazis" or whatever. Those are not slurs. Those are real things that are a problem in the world and we need to talk about them like adults. I mean we need to talk about everything everywhere like adults, but I get that some platforms (TikTok, YouTube) won't let you. However, you can't allow the purely marketing-driven decisions of a couple of horrible corporations fuck up your whole capability to communicate honestly and meaningfully with other people.
I collaborated with the Human Artistry Project to make this strip alongside other web cartoonists to make the point that “Stealing isn’t Innovation” when it comes to A.I. usage. It seems to be doing numbers on instagram and elsewhere, so you may also read it here, tumblr.
May the discourse that ensues be long and unhelpful.
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