hope rides alone b*tch

Max // nb - they/them // formerly flightofthefirefly // no post consistency we die like men

[coupangeats]

when opportunity strikes to do the funniest possible thing you gotta take it

[grimark]

did you see they made jane prentiss from the magnus archives real

this is the correct way to feel about having a wasp's nest in your house.

[grimark]

oh fuck you were not kidding

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[marlinspirkhall]

I've got to find myself more macrophage

[acesexualspock]

Now Hiring: macrophages

[daughter-of-sapph0]

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

[foone]

the upside of ADHD is that it makes you a fucking genius

the downside is that you don't get to decide when and for how long you're a genius.

[foone]

Or what you are going to be a genius about.

You have a big work project?

Nah. You're now a genius at making boardgames. For 7 hours.

[unrivalling]

[thememedaddy]

[cute-catts]

[adinosaurnamedmittens]

[filthywine]

I don't care. I'm in the crevice

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[yorkshirearthurdent]

They should block chatgpt on uni WiFi the way they used to block coolmathgames

[beyond-a-name]

they should make chatgpt automatically redirect to coolmathgames so you can actually fucking learn something

[ominouspuff]

Heir Apparent

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

podcasts could have been so good but they decided to make the main genres True Crime and Men Talking. shut up shut up the public yearns for audio dramas

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i do appreciate how tumblr LOVES podcasts that aren't what most people think of when they think "podcast." you people love strange and terrible things happening to queer & confused characters, and i respect that

[boringkate]

You wanna log in? What's your username? No. What's your email address? What's your password? What code did we just send to your email address? Now what code did we just text to you? New IP address detected. We sent you an email. Click the link to confirm the new address. Scan your fingerprint. Turn on your camera for age verification. Sign the updated user agreement. Accept all cookies? That feature isn't available on the website. Download the app. Those features are in the app. The app that's really a web browser.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

[nobieka]

yikes

[rosemarysfemhusband]

Yoshiki & ‘Hikaru’ as textposts <3

[dismoondart]

This feels so gross… this feels good

[memewhore]

[fiery-rat]

an important addition