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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Kiana Khansmith
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ellievsbear

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Andulka
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Claire Keane

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@dubu-dood
love language
The wrist bites aren't safe and you shouldn't do them there. I had numbness in my hand for a month after a puppygirl latched too hard on my wrist, please be aware of the anatomy where you bite! Go higher up in the meat of the forearm, it feels better too!
posts from wildlife experts
Fwiw I enjoy recreationally hurting women in ways that are both impermanent and permanently scarring alike, but an important part of risk-awareness in kink is recognizing that "common" acts like impact and biting can cause unintended injury and temporary or permanent loss of function if you aren't safe in your play. Refer to biting and impact maps of the human body, use test bites, have safety and care protocols figured out, be prepared to shut shit down as a pain top if you fuck up and the situation calls for immediate redress and harm reduction.
In the above instance the nerves of my hand/wrist were compressed by bites. In general, avoid joints and their associated tendons and ligaments, because that is where nerves are easiest to compress + damaged ligamenture really hurts and is easy to fuck up itself, too, with too-aggrssive biting in the wrong area.
Shoulders are usually meaty enough to take it without nerve compression, but you should still be careful around the connective tissues there. Do not bite the back of the leg at, just above, or just below the knee, I give 3 inches on either side for safety. Do not bite the wrist or within 3 inches of it. Do not bite the elbow, when you bite the forearm try to have it offset from the visible vascular structures that run through your elbow (bite to the side). Remember that your teeth are sharp and your jaw is powerful and if you tried, you could kill someone with them.
My favorite places to safely bite very fucking hard are the front of the thigh, the chest area, the ribs, meat of the arms but away from the elbow and wrists, meaty parts of the shoulder and upper back, hips and tummy, etc. lots of great places, be safe and have fun you fucking freaks
imagining tgirl david attenborough saying all this in a bulldog harness and a pith helm and NOTHING ELSE
adding onto this, there are certain areas you don't want to hit when doing impact play. many of them are already mentioned above, like the wrists, knees, and other joints, but i think a diagram will also be helpful (from this article)
and if you're doing rope bondage then this article from ropestudy goes over where certain nerves are and what to avoid - again, joints are generally a no-go and meatier parts of the body tend to be safer.
be safe with kink and dont forget aftercare!
What to do if you find yourself homless- written by someone who has actually been homeless
Most important: Spend the money you have on a motel. Churches probably will not actually help and shelters can be dangerous or turn you away. At a motel you have free breakfast, access to running water, and a lockable place to sleep. Do not waste money on a gym membership like the popular version of this post says to do, YMCA memberships are like $40.
2. Contact family and friends. Now is not the time to worry about being a burden. Your survival and safety comes first and that is all that matters, anyone worth having in your life will agree.
3. Start a gofundme. Even if someone can’t offer you a place to stay, they might be willing to toss out $5 so you can eat today.
4. Libraries have free wifi. Apply to any and all jobs you can think of if you aren’t already working.
5. Any home is a good home. Even if it’s a dingy apartment in a bad neighborhood. If its cheap and you can afford it, snatch it up.
6. Pancake mix and peanut butter are filling, cheap, and last a long time.
PLEASE SHARE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
on hope
vladimir nabokov || tropics777 on tumblr || mary oliver, “north country” || bakwaas on tumblr || david hockney, “remember you cannot look at the sun or death for very long” || vincent van gogh || bestofgentleearth on tumblr || the oh hellos, “there beneath” || healing-is-cool on tumblr
Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.
Whether you're carrying one big rock or a big ol' bucket of sand, it's going to weigh on you just as much.
This is why psychologists have started taking more of an interest in CPTSD in the last 10-15 years. What most people know as PTSD is a response to a single, intensely traumatic event (or even a series of events). However, CPTSD (chronic post-traumatic stress disorder) is caused by living for years in a situation where your nervous system cannot catch a break. Even if nothing huge ever happened to you, you always had to be on guard for a thousand little things that could and did happen.
After years and years of this, your nervous system gets "stuck" in an activated threat response. It never really lets you rest, and if this started when you were a kid, you may not develop a lot of neural pathways that you should have, because your brain was too focused on keeping you safe to bother with little things like "genuine human connection" and "interpersonal attachment."
No lie, Complex PTSD/CPTSD is HUGE.
If you are disabled, if you are queer, if you are chronically ill, if you are the survivor of a toxic but not abusive relationship, if you grew up or lived under the threat of harm but no "actual" harm (or "very little" harm) was done, you may have CPTSD that isn't getting caught because CPTSD looks different from PTSD.
How do you fall back in love with life?
clean your room. clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. clean the dishes. sweep. take out the trash. peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. take a long shower. scrub behind your knees. brush your teeth. (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. the end result is worth it.)
pull out your notebook. it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while. fuck moleskins. the yellow legal pad will work fine. sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. count clouds. describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. sketch the cracks in the walls. note the shape light makes when it enters a space. talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. what sounds are there? even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. your world is fathomless. it has potential.
drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed. it does not need to be fancy. buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. eat it outside. if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. take your fucking meds. remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor. take care of it.
read a novel. underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. read a novel like it’s poetry. read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. watch a movie you haven’t seen before. if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. take your time. let yourself bask. if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
your chosen family is important. remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. the love has no obligation. it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. you are not a burden. if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. when they need you, listen and be gracious. always be gracious. the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
listen to new music. link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. listen to something that you don’t usually listen to. we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. we are falling in love again. the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.
allow yourself to indulge in romantics. press flowers in old books. play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. dance in your room. wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public. write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. write poetry, even awful poetry. revel in its awfulness. eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.
If anyone has questions about these, please feel free to dm me 💜
Honestly, in my work as a therapist, I’m seeing this A Lot, and tbh I still don’t have a satisfactory approach to it. A heavy dose of Existentialist “create your own Purpose” tempered with “when the plane’s going down, put your own oxygen mask on first”, but… yeah, there is no ethical way to work on individual emotional distress without acknowledging the systemic socioeconomic, geopolitical fuckery going on at the moment, and the sheer grief that comes with it.
This is one of those areas where like on the one hand as a chronic moderate-severe depressive this shit hits me hard and on the other I’m watching people technically more mentally healthy than me struggle with the vast pointless mess of existence for the first time and it’s a trip.
Some tips from the inside, in case they help:
- life has always been pointless. Or rather, we have always been unable to control the relative point-fulness of life. The factors involved in opening the possibilities of who can have a large scale impact where are so insanely complex that they can at best only be pieced together imperfectly in retrospect
- the only thing that has changed is your awareness of this fact. No, seriously. The sun will eventually swallow the planet; at any moment without our knowledge or control the sun could flare in weird ways that will kill us all; etc. There was geopolitical and socioeconomic fuckery as bad or worse going on before: you just didn’t see it. Promise.
- you do what you can with what you have. You do what’s in front of you. Humanity has survived all of this before; it may survive it again. It may not. You can only do what you can: take what lessons exist from the past and apply them.
- sometimes it is just that bad and they are totally out to get you. The question is, what do you do about it?
- almost without exception in human history the answer has been “build community; support the one you have; reach out to connect MORE and to make the world more kind and less hateful than before.”
- recognize you’re trying to tackle god-level problems with a brain originally meant for keeping small proto-fish from being eaten. Treat that part of your brain like a very anxious toddler or rescue pitbull. Give it small measurable victories and successes even if you have to make them up. Make sure it’s fed and watered and has enough rest. Medicate it if you have to - there’s nothing wrong with that. The opposite, in fact.
We are hairless plains apes living in a thin skin of atmosphere between spinning liquid superheated death and the void of absolute cold, sustained by the radiation of a supermassive explosion that will kill us at the slightest excuse. We have always been unlikely and implausible and probably doomed which means every moment we are able to live, thrive and help others do so is an incredible victory. Don’t quit now. ❤️
This feels like a weird entry to call joy or encouragement, but, in case it helps anyone to hear…
Kiyoshi Nakajima, from JCA Annual 4 (1982)
Me: You HAVE to draw gay commedia dell’arte characters. Also me, somehow: I do? Me: You are OBSESSED with commedia dell’arte characters. Also me: I am???
This is the most German comic I have ever seen. And it’s not even about Germans.
Ok I just now noticed the birds. I thought this was just a comic about bread and respectful distance. I stand with my point though.
second hand pride
prints of this here!
lex anderson